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May 25, 2011 7:59 AM   Subscribe

Have you always longed for a comprehensive list of the shit Kiwis are really into? No, neither have we. Here it is anyway. Kiwianarama
posted by midnightbarber (25 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
*Paging Gaspode*
posted by Danf at 8:02 AM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

New Zealand is situated on the Asia-Pacific Rim and, by drawing on it’s geographical and historical culinary influences, has adopted a unique style of fusion dining, fashionably known as ‘Asian Rimming’.
posted by KokuRyu at 8:04 AM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

Does this really require a website all it's own? It is not like this is a long list... eating bugs... worms... sitting on those huge ass eggs...
posted by nanojath at 8:22 AM on May 25, 2011 [11 favorites]

This ass egg, might you have a link for that?
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 8:23 AM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

So nice to find a marginal concept executed in such a mediocre manner with only lackluster creativity (unless, of course, the overuse of the word "shit" qualifies as being creative). It all just fits together nicely.
posted by tomswift at 8:27 AM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

If I hadn't visited that website I wouldn't have known that the bogan is an antipodean phenomenon, not merely an Australian one.
posted by elsietheeel at 8:32 AM on May 25, 2011

compressed air nozzles?
posted by kliuless at 8:42 AM on May 25, 2011

compressed air nozzles?

No, that's on the list of things that are really into Kiwis.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:54 AM on May 25, 2011 [8 favorites]

Yeah I know all about bogans from watching Neighbours. To learn that they also exist in New Zealand is quite a revelation.
posted by afx237vi at 9:33 AM on May 25, 2011

This ass egg, might you have a link for that?

Sure, you can joke.
posted by nanojath at 10:02 AM on May 25, 2011

What's that come out of your pocket there? I think you just dropped New Zealand's total mineral resources Murray!
posted by Winnemac at 10:07 AM on May 25, 2011 [4 favorites]

Well played, posting this while most of the kiwis are asleep.

The entry on "per capita" is spot-on.
posted by Paragon at 11:05 AM on May 25, 2011

Since it's damn unlikely I'll ever get to go to NZ, someone let me know if this is accurate, as I'm not sure if I should be enjoying this so much...
posted by Redhush at 11:08 AM on May 25, 2011

Yes. Every entry is the literal truth. EVERY ENTRY.
posted by Paragon at 11:10 AM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

I am a Kiwi, and I approved this message.
posted by midnightbarber at 11:13 AM on May 25, 2011

Le Country We Love To Hate

Kiwis hate 2 things:

1. French
2. Nuclear weapons

In 1985, French agents came to NZ under fake passports, and blew up a boat. They killed a photographer, broke all sorts of international law, and then escaped. Hell, even France condemned the attack until it was all but clear that they had perpetrated the attack.

In any case, 2 of the slower agents got caught, went through a trial and were supposed to be imprisoned for murder (didn't happen). I'm pretty sure everyone involved is now a high ranking official in France.

There is a little memorial commemorating the sinking of the Rainbow Warrior near my place. Every so often, drunken guys at 3am walk past it, remember the details and then chant slogans about how much they hate the French. Its hard not to get a little choked up when the NZ's equivalent of frat boys are hating on French for blowing up a ship that was protesting nuclear testing.

And seriously...bombing Greenpeace? Thats like picking on the hippy kid in class named "sunshine". Who does that?

Fuck the French government: those murdering, bombing, terrorist assholes.
posted by hal_c_on at 11:47 AM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

Shut thus us good
posted by Samuel Farrow at 11:58 AM on May 25, 2011

I am of no fixed opinion in regards to this matter.
posted by y2karl at 12:38 PM on May 25, 2011

i really like your national airline btw.
posted by Bwithh at 1:12 PM on May 25, 2011

...which we are reliably informed stands for ‘Joy! Another friendly Aucklander!’

I do like this site.
posted by pompomtom at 4:17 PM on May 25, 2011

Oh I missed this.

Well, yep. We don't like to make a fuss.
posted by gaspode at 6:16 PM on May 25, 2011

This site has no entries for Kiwi Dip or MacPacs. The first thing I usually hear from Kiwis in foreign lands is either (1) Kiwi Dip is awesome or (2) MacPacs and other NZ made products are awesome.

The rest rings true enough (to a non Kiwi at least), but those two omissions have made me question the rest of the content.
posted by mosessis at 6:50 PM on May 25, 2011

Noticeably missing from the list: The song "Ten Guitars" by Englebert Humperdinck (among others) My housemate recently did a recording of a few Midnight Oil members doing a surf-rock version of the song, and when making the obvious inquiry "why?" I was told this song is something of an unofficial national anthem for Kiwis.

And it's pretty damn catchy.
posted by ShutterBun at 3:08 AM on May 26, 2011

I was disappointed to see no mention of Xena.
posted by QIbHom at 5:41 AM on May 26, 2011

Just started looking through this, and so far...

Number 8 Wire is, literally, a gauge of steel wire, popularly used in rural fencing. That’s fences around paddocks, not two gay farmers fighting each other with floppy swords.


New Zealanders like to paint it black; whether it’s the angry hairdos of the heavily-lesbianed Auckland media set, farmer’s woollen vests, over-barbequed sausages, or even entire fasion labels.

Is this just rampant homophobia, or something that I'd have to be a Kiwi to get?
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:03 PM on May 26, 2011

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