The World Record is awarded for Cleanest Floor, not Longest Bird Ball Balance
May 28, 2011 7:43 AM   Subscribe

 
The fact that birds can not understand physics is the only reason they have not sent a sparrow to the moon.
posted by tomswift at 7:48 AM on May 28, 2011 [4 favorites]


There is nothing else in his world remotely the same color as him. He's probably trying to mount the tennis ball, not just stand on it.
posted by StickyCarpet at 7:49 AM on May 28, 2011 [14 favorites]


I love it when the bird chastises the ball for not staying still. Budgies are awesome.
posted by nosila at 7:50 AM on May 28, 2011 [5 favorites]


The comments are fantastically devoted to the cleanliness of the floor.
posted by cavalier at 7:52 AM on May 28, 2011 [15 favorites]


If I knew budgies could pull things out from under things, I would have one, and all that crap under my fridge wouldn't be there!
posted by tomswift at 7:53 AM on May 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Assuming all the crap under your fridge is tennis balls.
posted by pracowity at 7:54 AM on May 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


The bird cannot fly. The few precious moments it balances on the tennis ball are the closest thing to living free and in the air that it will ever experience again.
posted by empath at 7:57 AM on May 28, 2011


Tony Budgie.
posted by jimmythefish at 7:59 AM on May 28, 2011


Mod note: Metatalk is your option, folks. Thanks.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 8:03 AM on May 28, 2011


[Damn. There goes my "balanced budgie amendment" crack.]
posted by pracowity at 8:14 AM on May 28, 2011 [23 favorites]


Birds are definitely underrated. And, in their larger incarnations, delicious.
posted by Artful Codger at 8:15 AM on May 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Why do I find the comments about the super-shiny floor almost as entertaining as the video itself?
posted by anaximander at 8:15 AM on May 28, 2011


After volunteering with a parrot rescue, I became terrified of them. I had cockatoos trying to masturbate themselves on me, macaws trying to bite my fingers off (not an exaggeration)... basically they were too hardcore for me.

This is so cute, largely because I don't think a parakeet is capable of severely maiming me.
posted by autoclavicle at 8:16 AM on May 28, 2011 [5 favorites]


This is awesome. I had budgies for a while and they never did anything anywhere near as awesome as this. Mostly they just hung around and shat in their water bowl for kicks. I guess I should have given them a tennis ball.
posted by mygothlaundry at 8:20 AM on May 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Oh sure, they are cute like this. But deep down in their memories they remember being velociraptors.
posted by strixus at 8:21 AM on May 28, 2011 [23 favorites]


OK, now I'm intensely curious as to what it is about this post that could send some people to MeTa.

Also, CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!!!
posted by Aquaman at 8:22 AM on May 28, 2011 [11 favorites]


Taking care of a Bird larger than a Parakeet, has its hazards, my large Amazon Yellow Nape Parrot did not behave until i started treating the parrot like a Drill Army sergeant, from then on the parrot was fun to handle.
posted by taxpayer at 8:28 AM on May 28, 2011


In truth, that really is one clear floor.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:29 AM on May 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


OK, now I'm intensely curious as to what it is about this post that could send some people to MeTa.

Rule 34
posted by found missing at 8:29 AM on May 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Oh sure, they are cute like this. But deep down in their memories they remember being velociraptors.

Once I was watching budgies at the pet store and two were fighting so hard...one rolled over on its back and started kicking and "Dino!" popped right into my head.

A lot of the comments seem to indicate that he's not mating with it, but having had some randy budgies, I gotta say I think he is! Budgies do hump inanimate objects and go about it pretty gleefully! Budgies are just awesome like that.
posted by Calzephyr at 8:34 AM on May 28, 2011 [5 favorites]


empath, it's quite common not to clip the wings of budgies once you've made friends with them, and they're very happy creatures when domesticated, especially if you have two or more, so they have friends. (they're very social, and like to be with other budgies.) If you leave their cage doors open, they'll go out and play, and then head back and hang out when they're tired.

Downside to that, of course, is that you have to learn where they like to go when they're out of their cage, and police it for crap. Curtain rods are a favorite, and you may have to set up catch cloths to keep birdshit off your drapes. That's kind of a pain, but the overall setup of not clipping their wings, and letting them roam freely in the house, gives them a life that's much safer and healthier than living in nature. Most of them tame readily and seem to really like people, and they don't get a controlled climate, unlimited healthy food, and fun toys in the wild.
posted by Malor at 8:34 AM on May 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


The fact that birds can not understand physics is the only reason they have not sent a sparrow to the moon.

My fifth grade science teacher told us that it was because birds need gravity to swallow so all the birds they brought into space starved to death.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 8:43 AM on May 28, 2011


Poor birds.
posted by pracowity at 8:53 AM on May 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm glad this wasn't one of those evil, horrible, terrifying tennis balls like the one tormenting that poor kitten,
posted by ChuraChura at 8:56 AM on May 28, 2011 [13 favorites]


.
posted by ChuraChura at 8:56 AM on May 28, 2011


Tommy Budgie of the Dino Ethics commission..
posted by Meatafoecure at 9:14 AM on May 28, 2011


Back when I was dating my wife in college, she had a parakeet named Pete. He had personality. Let's recall the things that he would do.

He would hang out on her shoulder while she studied.
He would imitate the beeps of the microwave.
He would catcall at her roommates.
He would dance and sing to Bob Marley.
He would take baths in his water bowl, and sometimes he would get so excited he would fall down next to the waterbowl and take an airbath on the carpet.
He would puff up when he was happy, and that was a lot.

They would occasionally let his wings grow out, and he would fly around the apartment, but he couldn't turn very well, so occasionally he would run into people. I think he nailed one of her roommate's boyfriends in the middle of the night. He tried to fly into the oven and bake himself, but was corralled in time. He once took a bath in a bowl of mint ice cream. He also made love to my foot for some reason.

Pete was basically the best bird of all time. When I have kids, I'm getting them budgies.
posted by Existential Dread at 9:15 AM on May 28, 2011 [23 favorites]


Calzephyr: "randy budgies"

My new porn name.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 9:28 AM on May 28, 2011 [5 favorites]


Here is a video of a budgie attempting to stand on a tennis ball

...your argument is invalid.
posted by Riki tiki at 9:28 AM on May 28, 2011


yea! little dude looks like he's having a great time
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 10:05 AM on May 28, 2011


I would like to see this cat with that bird and a tennis ball, to see what happens.
posted by beagle at 10:20 AM on May 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


Existential Dread, I believe that comment is .. what's the opposite of eponysterical? eponyposite? Yeah, that.
posted by Alterscape at 10:49 AM on May 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


"You could eat off that fucking floor."
posted by dobie at 11:30 AM on May 28, 2011


I love the angry little grumble at about 21 seconds in, as his pretty round girlfriend runs away from his amorous attempts.

But deep down in their memories they remember being velociraptors.

We don't keep 'keets anymore because, for whatever reason, ours went all Lord of the Flies and discovered that killing was great fun, and it got depressing after a while.

But until they learn to love the taste of blood, they are absolutely adorable.
posted by quin at 11:48 AM on May 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


quin: What was it killing?
posted by elwoodwiles at 11:55 AM on May 28, 2011


We kept a large cage with some parakeets and zebra finches, they were fine together for more than a year and one day we came home to find one of the finches dead, shortly after that others started dying as well, then some of the other parakeets too.

It wasn't just one either, it seems that they'd all learned the sport. Made me sad to get rid of them, but it made me more sad to see them tearing each other apart.

posted by quin at 12:08 PM on May 28, 2011


Quin...it's possible that one or some of your flock was sick? Budgies are especially good at hiding when they are ill, and many people don't know their bird is sick until it is far too late. The healthy birds peck at the sick birds as a way of saying "Hey! Act normal! You're attracting predators!"

Having said that, Mr. Muffin Cockatiel doesn't like Mr. Feisty Budgie. I was hoping they could live together in the aviary cage, but no luck. They can't even be out together because Muffin would most certainly kill Feisty. Don't be fooled by the cuddly name, which was bestowed upon him by his previous owners.
posted by Calzephyr at 12:43 PM on May 28, 2011


It's ridiculous how happy I felt when little budgie guy was able to get the ball back from under the shelf and play with it some more!
posted by misha at 1:26 PM on May 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


I just watched this with the Champions League Match on JustinTV playing in a different tab. This budgie just defeated Man U.
posted by srboisvert at 1:39 PM on May 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


There is another video btw of the same budgie taking off, so it can probably fly empath.
posted by Calzephyr at 2:12 PM on May 28, 2011


Budgies are great because they are nature's ultimate expression of ADHD. Everything is fresh and new to a budgie, full of endless possibilities of fun. All that twittering and babbling? They completely lack a verbal filter and it's like a 3 Stooges episode in the budgie's head all the time. See something interesting? Poke it! It reacts? Poke it some more! Now it's a game! It vaguely resembles another budgie? Shag it! It doesn't react receptively to your shagging? Woo it with your patented "nyuk nyuk nyuk" line! See yourself in a mirror? EPIC BATTLE!!!
posted by TungstenChef at 2:13 PM on May 28, 2011 [11 favorites]


Waiting for the budgie crash test YouTube video.
posted by bwg at 5:18 PM on May 28, 2011


Can anyone tell what the movie that starts in the background is? There is no dialogue but I feel like I should know it from the music at the start.
posted by jonnyploy at 6:02 PM on May 28, 2011




There's one video where Champ (the budgie) displays some "Lord of the Flies" tendencies - I guess they all start out cute.
posted by crankyrogalsky at 6:58 PM on May 28, 2011


Metafilter: Until they learn to love the taste of blood, they are absolutely adorable.
posted by rmxwl at 9:46 PM on May 28, 2011


A lot of the comments seem to indicate that he's not mating with it, but having had some randy budgies, I gotta say I think he is! Budgies do hump inanimate objects and go about it pretty gleefully! Budgies are just awesome like that.

Yeah, we had a 'keet who would mount my mother's fingers when her nails were painted. The puffed-up feathers and chattering are a dead giveaway of a horny bird.

He also used to stick his head in his water dish and scream his own name ("GEORGE!") to hear the echo. Keets are the best.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 10:15 PM on May 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


Sorry folks,

but this is a video of a budgie humping a tennis ball. He is obviously aroused, so please avert your eyes and let him get on with it.

I never thought I'd see budgie porn on the net.

FB
posted by fordiebianco at 2:15 AM on May 29, 2011


I got a budgie by accident.

I was sitting on my porch making a sword out of legos when I hear this FLUTTERFLUTTER and something lands on my shoulder. In the reflection in the window, I thought it was a mouse ( I was five shut up ), so I very carefully got up and walked up the stairs and screamed LOOK WHAT I GOT!

My mother was nonplussed. She put out her finger and out stepped a blue and white budgie, not a mouse. Oh well, a bird is almost as cool as a mouse, right?

We asked around, put up flyers. Turns out it belonged to a local bird-dude. He had a casual flock of budgies in his yard and this one just kind of wandered off. He said we could have him cause he was " a handful ".

He wasn't kidding. The bird, named Ganon, by me, loved me, and me only. It sat on my head. It stalked people from atop the hanging plants, dive bombed the kitten into submission, and was trusted to sit outside with us while we ate on the porch and would go back into his ( her? ) cage when we went inside. It liked to be in the bathroom when I showered, cause of all the steam and mirror-fights.

Ganon also liked to bite my little brother and then fly away. I liked this.

Year later we found Ganon feet up in his favorite hanging plant. We buried him in the backyard with his favorite toys and set up the cage on the hook outside the backyard door. Later my mom put a mint plant in there and it has grown to completely cover and entange the cage.

We call the plant Ganon.
posted by The Whelk at 11:14 AM on May 30, 2011 [8 favorites]


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