It's Gettin' Real at The Whole Foods Parking Lot
June 13, 2011 7:07 PM   Subscribe

Whole Foods Parking Lot A rap about the extreme challenges people must face every day in their quest for organic kale and biodynamic kombucha. If you don't like rap, don't worry Whole Foods provides opera, hipster marching bands, strange dancing babies and Bollywood. If you just like naturally-grown peaches and quiet while you shop, there is always a freezing flash mob.
posted by melissam (29 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
Ugh, Whole Foods' parking lot. The one near me...well, you'd think that for a company that promotes organic food and other Earth-friendly fare, they'd demand a parking lot more friendly to pedestrians.
posted by limeonaire at 7:15 PM on June 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

What ever happened to the great fads like stuffing people into a phone booth or that crazy plasic hoop you swing around your waist?

Now it's all planking and flash mobs. Society; what has become of you?
posted by joelf at 7:20 PM on June 13, 2011

Not nearly as good as the Trader Joe's song.
posted by Ideefixe at 7:24 PM on June 13, 2011 [6 favorites]

And nothing was as bad as parking at TJ's. (Well, the L.A. locations; up in SLO County, it's so much less awful I had to double check the sign). But my all-time favorite parking ordeal in L.A. was the old Fedco in Van Nuys (since converted to a Target). No Whole Foods 'round here, but I hear New Horizons market is trying to be a less megacorporational alternative. But how is its parking?
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:45 PM on June 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

Whole Foods aint got nuthin on Berkeley Bowl...
posted by zeoslap at 7:46 PM on June 13, 2011 [7 favorites]

Oh man, the downtown Austin underground lot is the best. Free, out of the sun, and only a couple blocks from the places I actually want to be.
posted by restless_nomad at 7:51 PM on June 13, 2011

Man, the Whole Foods parking lot in LA looks absolutely palatial compared to the one in Arlington, VA. That one's so stressful that I've been there exactly once in my whole year of living here. Quickly learned my lesson.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:02 PM on June 13, 2011

I love that my Whole Foods has underground parking with ample space and that it is at the intersection of major transit lines, including a train, and there are car sharing spots there too. Sometimes I even walk there, although it's a few km. So I don't really relate to the parking lot issues, but the rest of the song is hysterical.
posted by acoutu at 8:09 PM on June 13, 2011

I was expecting something like this, but let's be honest: a Whole Foods Parking Lot just like an Indie Rock Parking Lot would be....well, boring.
posted by jonmc at 8:24 PM on June 13, 2011

Car sharing? A train? Jesus, acoutu, where do you live, Soviet-stan?
posted by incessant at 8:27 PM on June 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

Whole Foods aint got nuthin on Berkeley Bowl...

Berkeley Bowl is completely out of control. Women in Subaru station wagons with VISUALIZE WORLD PEACE on the bumper completely losing their shit because some beardy crust punk in a 4x4 Toyota van has pulled into the parking lot ahead of them and snagged a parking spot before they did. The Berkeley Bowl parking lot is all the worst things about Berkeley with cars and the pursuit of food thrown in for good measure, wedged in the middle of two busy thoroughfares where people think nothing of running over a cyclist if it means grabbing a parking spot.
posted by oneirodynia at 8:28 PM on June 13, 2011 [5 favorites]

The Whole Foods parking lot...that's where someone put a huge dent in our bumper and drove off.
posted by gingerbeer at 8:37 PM on June 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

I thought activist marching bands were a hippie phenomenon and not a hipster phenomenon. When did hipsters commandeer that ship?
posted by not_on_display at 8:59 PM on June 13, 2011

I'm pretty sure that action figure depicts Ronald Jenkees in a storm trooper costume.
posted by subtle_squid at 10:05 PM on June 13, 2011

wrong thread, please disregard
posted by subtle_squid at 10:06 PM on June 13, 2011

man, just bought a round of Humboldt Fog today at the local food co-op...
posted by kaibutsu at 11:05 PM on June 13, 2011

nice !
posted by sgt.serenity at 12:34 AM on June 14, 2011

Wow, people still shop at Whole Foods?
posted by DU at 4:44 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Rap AND opera? Sounds an awful lot like the Most Unwanted Song.
posted by mkb at 5:27 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

This comment from the poster of the marching band one: "Man, it was funny seeing how awkward some people can feel from witnessing people having a good time with their lives."

See...I don't feel awkward having witnessed that. But as a former marching-band section leader, I can see how far short they fall. I mean, if you're gonna march through Whole Foods, do it right: Left foot first.
posted by limeonaire at 5:27 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Wow, people still shop at Whole Foods?

I haven't shopped there since. Not that they're feeling the twenty bucks I used to drop twice a year.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:26 AM on June 14, 2011

rhyming 'brah' and 'quinoa' is pretty awesome.
and $80 for 6 items? it's funny cos it's true!
posted by lukievan at 8:20 AM on June 14, 2011

Wow, people still shop at Whole Foods?

Is there a chain supermarket that's better, ethically, etc? Because I haven't run into one. Personally, I don't care what MacKey does, and boycotting a chain that promotes local food, gives huge amounts to charity (supposedly more than what would just be a sensible tax write off), pays their employees well, over something their CEO does seems extreme to me.

I have worried on and off about their reputation for making life for organic farmers harder by demanding big and consistent crops for as little as they can manage to pay, but in that arena, they have nothing on Berkeley Bowl's reputation, which is for out and out cheating farmers, like telling them they'll pay $X for a truck of peaches and then when the farmer gets there paying much less than that, now that the peaches are sitting in the sun and the farmer doesn't have leverage. I don' t know if it's true but it's a persistent rumor and boycotts get proposed now and then and then never happen.
posted by small_ruminant at 8:24 AM on June 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

Whole Foods aint got nuthin on Berkeley Bowl...

I live 2 blocks from the Shattuck/Adeline Berkeley Bowl, and I go to Whole Foods instead.

I'm with small_ruminant ^^. I shop for produce and bread at the Tuesday/Saturday (and Temescal Sunday) farmer's markets, but for dry goods, drinks, toilet paper, etc. I'm going to use Whole Foods.

$80 for 6 items? it's funny cos it's true!

Well, yeah, if your 6 items are bottles of (good) wine.

I bought 4 full tote bags (hard to describe the size, but about as big as a regular brown grocery bag) of food at Whole Foods Sunday for less than $120. And that included some luxury items like ginger brew and chocolate.

If I still lived in San Francisco, I would shop at Rainbow. In Berkeley, it seems like Whole Foods is my best bet.

how can we say that all people have more of an intrinsic right to health care than they have to food or shelter?

I disagree with him in his larger principle, but I agree here. People do have an intrinsic right to food and shelter. It's all the same thing.
posted by mrgrimm at 9:31 AM on June 14, 2011

That said, I could only stomach about a minute of the song. Embarrassingly bad. Very L.A.
posted by mrgrimm at 9:43 AM on June 14, 2011

Embarrassingly bad. Very L.A.

It's a feature, not a bug.
posted by small_ruminant at 11:16 AM on June 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

@incessant, we have several car sharing options here in Vancouver. I'm not currently a member of any of them, but I am the head of a household and I share a car with someone in another household.
posted by acoutu at 2:58 PM on June 14, 2011

I so love Humboldt Fog cheese! I didn't know anyone else in the world knew of its existence!
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 8:19 PM on June 14, 2011

Bit of an interview with the guy who made it.
posted by gingerbeer at 5:13 PM on June 16, 2011

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