August 1, 2011 11:44 AM   Subscribe

"Abusers come in all sizes and genders." Damage. (NSFW)
posted by Avenger50 (19 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: A single-link blog post on a highly charged topic is not going to work very well here. Please try again with more framing and context next time. -- pb

Yes, domestic violence can be man-woman, woman-man, man-man, woman-woman. I'm not really sure what the point of this post is.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 11:51 AM on August 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

Also, this guy should call the police and report this assault. There is no reason he should have to deal with this. He can also reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE(7233).
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 11:53 AM on August 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Unless I'm missing something, this is a one-off (short) post about domestic violence on this dude's porn tumblr. I'm all for raising awareness here, but this seems a little thin, in context.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 11:55 AM on August 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Respectfully, Avenger50 , what you link to is a single post from one single man showing a bloody chest who claims that his much smaller wife was being abusive to him. It's a single story from one single person and it's only really several paragraphs long. We have no idea if this story is truthful or if the guy is just doing a revenge blog on his wife. The rest of his blog is filled with porn-type imagery.

I think the topic is a great one but I also think that the way that you presented it in this post is very weak.
posted by Poet_Lariat at 11:56 AM on August 1, 2011

The trap isn't on the first physical contact, the trap is that if there was any retaliation (a shove, perhaps, to leave) the legal aspects of the incident would become much more complicated, and most likely wouldn't have ended up well for the poster.
posted by Michael Pemulis at 11:56 AM on August 1, 2011

Mystery Meat Labelling: a blog post about an incident of domestic violence. Includes bloody pictures.
posted by zamboni at 11:57 AM on August 1, 2011

Yes, a much better post could be made about woman-to-man domestic violence.
posted by Melismata at 11:58 AM on August 1, 2011

posted by Obscure Reference at 11:59 AM on August 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

Video w/audio, or it didn't happen.
posted by Ardiril at 12:01 PM on August 1, 2011

What did this guy do to this woman to make her react in this manner?

No mother of a man's child would ever do this.

(The second was a real reason given to me why a West Indian man would never beat his wife.)
posted by clvrmnky at 12:04 PM on August 1, 2011

I have a relatives who were the chronic victims of an extremely abusive woman, and no one took their very real problems seriously. That said, while I'm sympathetic to what you're saying here, this post is a bit too much "let's talk about pies. here is a picture of a pie."

There's more meat in the corresponding Reddit thread, just in terms of other people sharing stories.
posted by Sticherbeast at 12:05 PM on August 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

I think this could be an interesting topic, but the framing of it is kind of poor. A thin one off post on some dude's porn (fine, erotica) tumblr really doesn't do any topic justice.
posted by QuarterlyProphet at 12:06 PM on August 1, 2011


Kidding aside, cries of DTMFA! aren't really helpful to victims of domestic violence. There are tons of reasons why victims of domestic violence feel trapped in a relationship. This guy touches on one (financial inability to leave), which is a big one for a lot of victims. People say "Leave him/her! Get out!" but in reality it's just not that easy.

It can be hard to leave when you have no income (or limited income), or no support network to help you. If you have a child that depends on you for stability, that only complicates the situation. Some shelters don't take men. Some shelters don't allow kids. A lot of shelters don't allow you to have pets. These are just some of the reasons that it's hard for victims to escape, and these are only the practical reasons. I'm not even touching on the psychological issues at hand, or threats ("I'll kill you/your kid/your cat if you try to leave me").

I'm not saying that's what this victim is going through (or even if he's a victim at all). Domestic violence is a reality for a lot of people (both men and women), and there are a lot of factors at play that make it hard to leave.

Shit, I called the cops two days ago because someone assaulted a woman directly in front of my house and then threatened to kick my ass (in front of my kid and my two nephews) if I got involved in any way. I'm talking about a man straight up physically assaulting a woman on the sidewalk, and nobody went to jail. I don't know the specifics of her situation, but for whatever reason, she's still in it today.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 12:08 PM on August 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'd vote for a repost focusing on the reddit thread, hence flagged.
posted by jeffburdges at 12:10 PM on August 1, 2011

I think the fact that it was reblogged 7,000+ times makes it sort of noteworthy.
posted by Lutoslawski at 12:13 PM on August 1, 2011

Yeah, this is terrible framing for an important topic.
posted by jokeefe at 12:13 PM on August 1, 2011

Didn't we just have a long thread on this topic like yesterday or some such quite recently?
posted by infini at 12:13 PM on August 1, 2011

Ain't that impressed by the reddit thread actually, so make that : Repost with MOAR!
posted by jeffburdges at 12:14 PM on August 1, 2011

I think the fact that it was reblogged 7,000+ times makes it sort of noteworthy.

So make a thread focusing on that.
posted by jokeefe at 12:14 PM on August 1, 2011

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