The director, actor and self proclaimed messiah, Vincent Gallo, has released an album.

September 21, 2001 12:44 PM

The director, actor and self proclaimed messiah, Vincent Gallo, has released an album. As The Guardian describes: "It's proggy, inept, embarrassing and pretentious. In fact, it's terrible." Can anyone else think of actors and musicians, writers and artists who shouldn't give up their day job. Extra points available for any who shouldn't even be doing their day job.
posted by feelinglistless (42 comments total)

Vanilla Ice made a movie and well you heard him rap. That was too easy.
posted by jbou at 12:52 PM on September 21, 2001

Arrrgh. Buffalo 66 was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I know people have different opinions, but sometimes I can't see why some things get so much praise.
posted by phatboy at 12:55 PM on September 21, 2001

Kevin Bacon?
posted by edlundart at 12:56 PM on September 21, 2001

jennifer love hewitt
posted by chacal at 12:57 PM on September 21, 2001

I own Shatner's "The Transformed Man" on vinyl and I really like it. Some of the tracks give me the creeps, but it's pretty dope, overall. Especially, his take on "How Insensitive."
posted by elvissinatra at 12:58 PM on September 21, 2001

i know jon katz is the popular choice, but i'm going to go with dennis rodman (shouldn't have a job to begin with), russell crowe (what a rockin' dood), and mariah carey (new acting career).

if you list jewel, i'll understand, though i've never felt self-torturous enough to try her poetry.
posted by moz at 12:59 PM on September 21, 2001

I've only ever heard Shatner's "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds"...

That's enough to add him to the list.
posted by dogmatic at 1:03 PM on September 21, 2001

Extra points available for any who shouldn't even be doing their day job.

Jennifer fuckin' Lopez.

Forget the day job, night job, singing job & acting job. However I do have another kind of job for you....
posted by Karl at 1:04 PM on September 21, 2001

Haven't heard the album, but it did come out on the greatest record label of all time.
posted by lbergstr at 1:12 PM on September 21, 2001

Extra points available for any who shouldn't even be doing their day job.

Vincent Gallo.
posted by Dean King at 1:13 PM on September 21, 2001

Pat Boone.

He lounged out a few heavy metal tunes a while back, and it was horrid.

Also anyone in the NFL who sings those collaboration albums ala The Superbowl Shuffle
posted by Benway at 1:17 PM on September 21, 2001

Although Buffalo 66 did have Christina Ricci tap-dancing in a bowling alley.
posted by Dean King at 1:19 PM on September 21, 2001

John McEnroe tried to play guitar in a band -- and sucked. David Hasselhoff sings -- and blows big chunks but is a pretty popular recording artist in Germany anyway.
On the other hand, David Bowie's paintings don't really suck so bad
posted by matteo at 1:28 PM on September 21, 2001

Madonna can't do anything particularly well and her whole attraction is a mystery to me. Ditto Tom Cruise. Even worse than celebs straying from their usual stuff is celebs who don't actually do anything. Tara P T and Victoria Hervey in London, for example. People like that just show up at enough parties and they're famous. No-one chose them, no-one bought anything of theirs. They're just mates with the editors of the colour supplements.
posted by Summer at 1:31 PM on September 21, 2001

if you list jewel, i'll understand, though i've never felt self-torturous enough to try her poetry.

Actually, you'd be surprised. Some of the work might have been more fluid in the medium of some, but are some real insights in there...
posted by feelinglistless at 1:32 PM on September 21, 2001

Perhaps one of the single worst moments in pop history was when Richard E. Grant decided it would be perfectly reasonable to release a dance version of Hamlet's 'To Be or Not To Be' speech. Although even that wasn't as bad as his performance in Spiceworld...if ever writing a book hurt a man's career -- 'I'm tired of Hollywood' -- a fig!
posted by feelinglistless at 1:37 PM on September 21, 2001

I would say me, but my day job gave up on me first...
posted by fooljay at 1:50 PM on September 21, 2001

Have we forgotten Don Johnson's Heartbeat album from 1986? It's ten times worse than Bruce Willis' The Return of Bruno. Ouch.
posted by rev- at 1:55 PM on September 21, 2001

i'd like to see someone tell henry rollins to give up on acting.
posted by mich9139 at 1:58 PM on September 21, 2001

what was so bad about buffalo66?
posted by elle at 1:58 PM on September 21, 2001

Remember when Eddie Murphy's girl wanted to party all the time, party all the time, party all the time? At least I hope it was a girl.
posted by euphorb at 2:04 PM on September 21, 2001

Please post a link to a song.
posted by BigRock at 2:05 PM on September 21, 2001

Why does anybody let Quentin Tarintino act?
posted by spunkster at 2:12 PM on September 21, 2001

Basically, the only movies that Quentin Tarantino are in are ones that he is directing or producing, so it's hard to say no to yourself.

Some of his banter is funny, but it gets old quickfastinahurry.
posted by almostcool at 2:14 PM on September 21, 2001

To turn it round what about people who excelled in two branches of the arts - I'll start with Don van Vliet.
posted by johnny novak at 2:23 PM on September 21, 2001

To turn it round what about people who excelled in two branches of the arts - I'll start with Don van Vliet.
posted by johnny novak at 2:23 PM on September 21, 2001

Four simple letters, and I'm surprised no one mentioned them (considering he plays sports, "acts", "raps", and does who knows what else):

S H A Q
posted by mkn at 2:31 PM on September 21, 2001

Keanu Reeves
posted by Umpqua at 2:44 PM on September 21, 2001

It's amazing to me that nobody's brought up Keanu Reeves. Of course, my judgement is based entirely on his day job; I've never heard his band.

And of course Ethan Hawke wrote a novel which I never read.
posted by boaz at 2:49 PM on September 21, 2001

John Tesh?
posted by Steven Den Beste at 2:54 PM on September 21, 2001

P. Diddy. He makes me cringe. He bills himself as a rapper, an actor, a producer, and a clothing designer. And I don't care for any of it.
posted by thc at 2:55 PM on September 21, 2001

It's amazing to me that nobody's brought up Keanu Reeves.

until right before I did. doh!

Well, one more to make up for it: Geena Davis.
posted by boaz at 3:02 PM on September 21, 2001

i liked buffalo 66. hmph.
posted by sad_otter at 3:08 PM on September 21, 2001

Since shaq qualifies, I guess sportspeople are fair game. I vote for Steve Largent.
posted by skyscraper at 3:11 PM on September 21, 2001

But back to Buffalo 66.... It was a fantastic movie. I don't see what it has to do with Gallo's new musical choices. Have any of you actually seen it?
posted by jessie at 4:06 PM on September 21, 2001

Dude. Keanu's band Dogstar sucks. But Crowe's band is listenable in a bluesy, garage-rock kind of way. Not that I'd advise him to quit his day job.
posted by swerve at 4:11 PM on September 21, 2001

Buffalo 66 was dreary and surreal. I like dreary and surreal movies. I loved Buffalo 66. And in fact I'll go so far as to say it was brilliant.
posted by crasspastor at 4:20 PM on September 21, 2001

until recently i thought vincent gallo and jaquin phoenix were the same guy. Anyone else have that problem?
posted by th3ph17 at 4:25 PM on September 21, 2001

i thought viggo mortensen looked a lot like vincent gallo, probably the v's because they're not alike at all.
posted by elle at 4:56 PM on September 21, 2001

Michael Moriarty.

I thought Buffalo 66 was great. Which leads me to believe Gallo's not as much of an idiot as he pretends to be, which leads me to believe his album may be a work of comedy – intentional comedy, that is.
posted by D at 8:05 PM on September 21, 2001

Who's Vincent Gallo?
posted by Summer at 6:17 AM on September 22, 2001

*boggle*

Well, he's a "director, actor and self proclaimed messiah".

Sheeeeesh.
posted by Zettai at 12:29 PM on September 22, 2001