You are now safe, citizen, the Ninja is on the job.
August 27, 2011 7:00 PM Subscribe
A self-styled "ninja" is patrolling the streets of Yeovil in a bid to make the town a safer place. 'Martial arts expert and father-of-two Ken Andre, 33, also known as Shadow, has been monitoring the streets of the Somerset town for the past six years.'
Uh, thanks for blowing his cover?
posted by bleep at 7:11 PM on August 27, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by bleep at 7:11 PM on August 27, 2011 [2 favorites]
"A security guard by day ..."
Ooh. Now I get it.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 7:12 PM on August 27, 2011 [4 favorites]
Ooh. Now I get it.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 7:12 PM on August 27, 2011 [4 favorites]
Also, what's up with that "I'm holding an invisible basketball" pose he's taking as he walks? Is that a martial arts stance?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 7:14 PM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 7:14 PM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]
SHORYUKEN
posted by LogicalDash at 7:17 PM on August 27, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by LogicalDash at 7:17 PM on August 27, 2011 [6 favorites]
I don't buy it - he's too healthy looking for a security guard. Oh. This is the UK. Maybe they're different there.
posted by symbioid at 7:18 PM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by symbioid at 7:18 PM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]
I'm just always happy to hear that creepy dudes lurking in the shadows with delusions of grandeur are fathers.
'Cos the fact that they've spawned somehow helps me sleep better.
posted by Ufez Jones at 7:20 PM on August 27, 2011 [4 favorites]
'Cos the fact that they've spawned somehow helps me sleep better.
posted by Ufez Jones at 7:20 PM on August 27, 2011 [4 favorites]
LogicalDash: "SHORYUKEN"
whiffs and is punished by this guy's Hadoken xx SA I
Also, am I the only one to think he looks like he's out to actually cause crimes, dressed and moving like that at night?
posted by DoctorFedora at 7:20 PM on August 27, 2011
whiffs and is punished by this guy's Hadoken xx SA I
Also, am I the only one to think he looks like he's out to actually cause crimes, dressed and moving like that at night?
posted by DoctorFedora at 7:20 PM on August 27, 2011
Also, am I the only one to think he looks like he's out to actually cause crimes, dressed and moving like that at night?
No... no you are not. I'm kind of surprised that a country as tightly wound as the UK seems to be nowadays*, hasn't tossed him in jail for skulking around at night with a friggen sword strapped to his back yet.
* currently living in the US, so that totally is not a judgement of superiority.
posted by edgeways at 7:38 PM on August 27, 2011
No... no you are not. I'm kind of surprised that a country as tightly wound as the UK seems to be nowadays*, hasn't tossed him in jail for skulking around at night with a friggen sword strapped to his back yet.
* currently living in the US, so that totally is not a judgement of superiority.
posted by edgeways at 7:38 PM on August 27, 2011
He's such an earnest, goofy guy. I love how the greatest crime he's come across was the Case of the Yobs with the BB Guns. The whole thing is beautiful and hilarious.
posted by Kattullus at 7:42 PM on August 27, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Kattullus at 7:42 PM on August 27, 2011 [2 favorites]
I love how the greatest crime he's come across was the Case of the Yobs with the BB Guns.
And that he solved it by barking at them. And then demonstrated the bark for viewers at home!
posted by restless_nomad at 7:56 PM on August 27, 2011 [6 favorites]
And that he solved it by barking at them. And then demonstrated the bark for viewers at home!
posted by restless_nomad at 7:56 PM on August 27, 2011 [6 favorites]
The Yeoman of Yeovil, guardian of the Queen's Swans.
posted by charlie don't surf at 8:03 PM on August 27, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by charlie don't surf at 8:03 PM on August 27, 2011 [4 favorites]
If he's for real, he's going to get shot/stabbed one day not too far away.
He's no ninja; being exposed by the media is shameful - he needs to commit sepuku or destroy all traces of his being found out (unless it's a misdirection to discredit legitimate interest in the true North American Ninja Enclave).
Long live NANE!
posted by porpoise at 8:18 PM on August 27, 2011 [2 favorites]
He's no ninja; being exposed by the media is shameful - he needs to commit sepuku or destroy all traces of his being found out (unless it's a misdirection to discredit legitimate interest in the true North American Ninja Enclave).
Long live NANE!
posted by porpoise at 8:18 PM on August 27, 2011 [2 favorites]
"I'm holding an invisible basketball"
Isn't that the starting point for Tai Chi?
posted by infini at 9:06 PM on August 27, 2011
Isn't that the starting point for Tai Chi?
posted by infini at 9:06 PM on August 27, 2011
We named the cat "shadow".
Also, didn't actual ninjas dress up like peasants to hide? Shouldn't he be dressed up like a chav?
posted by stavrogin at 9:22 PM on August 27, 2011 [8 favorites]
Also, didn't actual ninjas dress up like peasants to hide? Shouldn't he be dressed up like a chav?
posted by stavrogin at 9:22 PM on August 27, 2011 [8 favorites]
But but...does he have a Doberman named Interceptor?!
I'm missing some crucial information here, guys!
posted by pecanpies at 9:24 PM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]
I'm missing some crucial information here, guys!
posted by pecanpies at 9:24 PM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]
hasn't tossed him in jail for skulking around at night with a friggen sword strapped to his back yet.
That's the funniest detail: we find out toward the end of the video his "sword" is made of foam.
posted by basicchannel at 9:29 PM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]
That's the funniest detail: we find out toward the end of the video his "sword" is made of foam.
posted by basicchannel at 9:29 PM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]
Keeping the swans safe by growling at the yobs.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 9:31 PM on August 27, 2011
posted by ActingTheGoat at 9:31 PM on August 27, 2011
That's the funniest detail: we find out toward the end of the video his "sword" is made of foam.
cheers, not at a audio-able spot so didn't know.
posted by edgeways at 9:56 PM on August 27, 2011
cheers, not at a audio-able spot so didn't know.
posted by edgeways at 9:56 PM on August 27, 2011
Also, didn't actual ninjas dress up like peasants to hide? Shouldn't he be dressed up like a chav?
Perhaps that's what chavs are, Ninjas in disguise
posted by quarsan at 11:15 PM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]
Perhaps that's what chavs are, Ninjas in disguise
posted by quarsan at 11:15 PM on August 27, 2011 [1 favorite]
They can steal a can of cider before you even realize they were there.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:51 PM on August 27, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:51 PM on August 27, 2011 [3 favorites]
It would be cool if his lips were out of sync when he spoke.
posted by the noob at 12:32 AM on August 28, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by the noob at 12:32 AM on August 28, 2011 [4 favorites]
Oi am a zoider ningerrr.
posted by Abiezer at 1:33 AM on August 28, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by Abiezer at 1:33 AM on August 28, 2011 [4 favorites]
Hey, it's a pretty important job. The Queen is the only person allowed to eat swan.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:11 AM on August 28, 2011
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:11 AM on August 28, 2011
I was once briefly detained on the Singapore - Malaysia border for trying to cross the border with a 40" wooden Katana sword that I was carrying on my back. That is all.
posted by the cydonian at 3:22 AM on August 28, 2011
posted by the cydonian at 3:22 AM on August 28, 2011
His American cousin was captured on film having an unfortunate accident.
posted by Forktine at 5:23 AM on August 28, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Forktine at 5:23 AM on August 28, 2011 [1 favorite]
This documentary has more information on this kind of thing. It's very watchable too.
posted by debord at 5:52 AM on August 28, 2011
posted by debord at 5:52 AM on August 28, 2011
That's kinda both awesome and ridiculous.... First of all, there's something deeply hilarious about a British ninja. Just the wrong accent. (The movie is called AMERICAN NINJA, jerk!)
I can't deny that it'd be awesome to dress up like a ninja and patrol the mean streets of Scottsdale, AZ, but... right. A little warm for that right now, but if you come down here for spring training or whatever, assume I'm lurking out there in the shadows, ready to put an end to all bb-related crimes.
posted by ph00dz at 7:06 AM on August 28, 2011
I can't deny that it'd be awesome to dress up like a ninja and patrol the mean streets of Scottsdale, AZ, but... right. A little warm for that right now, but if you come down here for spring training or whatever, assume I'm lurking out there in the shadows, ready to put an end to all bb-related crimes.
posted by ph00dz at 7:06 AM on August 28, 2011
My first impression was that this sure seems like something a guy named Ken would do.
So Yeovil, it is crawling with Yakuza, I assume?
posted by Mister_A at 7:06 AM on August 28, 2011
So Yeovil, it is crawling with Yakuza, I assume?
posted by Mister_A at 7:06 AM on August 28, 2011
Yakuza made of foam.
posted by Not Supplied at 7:42 AM on August 28, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Not Supplied at 7:42 AM on August 28, 2011 [2 favorites]
Sleep easy, Britain, you have your very own Phoenix Jones.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:01 AM on August 28, 2011
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:01 AM on August 28, 2011
Forgive me, but my first reaction was that this is his cover for when he gets discovered peeping into girls' bedrooms. (There was a recent case nearby, so I have an excuse.)
posted by RedEmma at 8:28 AM on August 28, 2011
posted by RedEmma at 8:28 AM on August 28, 2011
I wish I lived in a place where you could do this and worry about getting shot. Not because I'd do it myself, it would just be nice to live in such a place.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 8:38 AM on August 28, 2011
posted by The Hamms Bear at 8:38 AM on August 28, 2011
If he's for real, he's going to get shot/stabbed one day not too far away.
I'm guessing you haven't been to Yeovil then...
posted by pmcp at 10:12 AM on August 28, 2011 [1 favorite]
I'm guessing you haven't been to Yeovil then...
posted by pmcp at 10:12 AM on August 28, 2011 [1 favorite]
ICP nods in approval.
posted by LordSludge at 10:57 AM on August 28, 2011
posted by LordSludge at 10:57 AM on August 28, 2011
Lately there is more and more of this and it is so messed up and so wonderful and such a bad idea and pretty bad ass and kinda pathetic.
posted by ian1977 at 11:27 AM on August 28, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by ian1977 at 11:27 AM on August 28, 2011 [3 favorites]
"If I had a Battalion of these nerf wielding grocerystore guards, our problem here would soon be over"
posted by clavdivs at 12:03 PM on August 28, 2011
posted by clavdivs at 12:03 PM on August 28, 2011
Tangentially related, whenever stories like this, or movies like Kick-Ass or Super come about, invariably there are people who think A. it's a good idea B. it's a good idea to do themselves. They then get dejected and upset at me when I point out there are already a lot of armed citizen vigilantes who patrol the streets at night to enforce order, and unfortunately they're called "gang members"
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 12:28 PM on August 28, 2011
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 12:28 PM on August 28, 2011
"I wouldn't be with him if I thought he was odd."
Aww, even ninjas can find true love.
posted by homunculus at 12:57 PM on August 28, 2011
Aww, even ninjas can find true love.
posted by homunculus at 12:57 PM on August 28, 2011
He explains the hands thing here. It's so he can reach for his chloroform.
According to his website he's been training for 19 years. Though this video looks like he's been doing it for a fortnight. Just awful.
But maybe that's what a ninja would want me to believe...
posted by the cuban at 2:54 AM on August 29, 2011
According to his website he's been training for 19 years. Though this video looks like he's been doing it for a fortnight. Just awful.
But maybe that's what a ninja would want me to believe...
posted by the cuban at 2:54 AM on August 29, 2011
What's next? The last nigga on earth - starring Tom Hanks?
posted by AndrewKemendo at 5:34 AM on August 29, 2011
posted by AndrewKemendo at 5:34 AM on August 29, 2011
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posted by clavdivs at 7:10 PM on August 27, 2011