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October 7, 2011 11:18 AM Subscribe
Friday silliness: Brilliantly Sarcastic Responses to Completely Well-Meaning Signs.
The bulletin boards at the first Five Guys in virginia (do they still have them inside?) used to be a gold mine of double entendres.
"I had five guys for lunch, and I've never been so satisfied!" and so on.
posted by empath at 11:24 AM on October 7, 2011
"I had five guys for lunch, and I've never been so satisfied!" and so on.
posted by empath at 11:24 AM on October 7, 2011
Or obvious Photoshops.
posted by Gator at 11:24 AM on October 7, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by Gator at 11:24 AM on October 7, 2011 [6 favorites]
What's this thing called, love?
posted by hal9k at 11:27 AM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by hal9k at 11:27 AM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
Now I know what to do with all these crappy Five Guys places opening up in New York.
posted by Liquidwolf at 11:27 AM on October 7, 2011
posted by Liquidwolf at 11:27 AM on October 7, 2011
I love the Ice Cube/T one. Clever.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:29 AM on October 7, 2011 [15 favorites]
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:29 AM on October 7, 2011 [15 favorites]
Now I know what to do with all these crappy Five Guys places opening up in New York.
Whaaaat? I've lived here for twenty years and I have never been able to get a burger that is basically a cube of almost disgustingly greasy meat like I can at Five Guys.
posted by griphus at 11:30 AM on October 7, 2011
Whaaaat? I've lived here for twenty years and I have never been able to get a burger that is basically a cube of almost disgustingly greasy meat like I can at Five Guys.
posted by griphus at 11:30 AM on October 7, 2011
I laughed. Perhaps it's just that kind of day here at work, but I laughed.
posted by tommasz at 11:30 AM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by tommasz at 11:30 AM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
Yeah, the Ice Cube/Ice T one was the only one that cracked a chuckle.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:30 AM on October 7, 2011
posted by mrgrimm at 11:30 AM on October 7, 2011
Craigslist can help you.
posted by benzenedream at 11:32 AM on October 7, 2011 [44 favorites]
posted by benzenedream at 11:32 AM on October 7, 2011 [44 favorites]
There's a sign that been stenciled near my house to read:
STOP
Hammertime
Cracks me up everytime.
posted by Orange Pamplemousse at 11:34 AM on October 7, 2011 [10 favorites]
STOP
Hammertime
Cracks me up everytime.
posted by Orange Pamplemousse at 11:34 AM on October 7, 2011 [10 favorites]
oh fuck now I want Five Guys so bad
posted by griphus at 2:30 PM on October 7 [+] [!]
Craigslist can help you.
m4mmmmm
posted by empath at 11:37 AM on October 7, 2011 [38 favorites]
posted by griphus at 2:30 PM on October 7 [+] [!]
Craigslist can help you.
m4mmmmm
posted by empath at 11:37 AM on October 7, 2011 [38 favorites]
Ooo a compilation of amusing images that have been around the Internet for years!
Are you my elderly neigbour?
posted by Theta States at 11:37 AM on October 7, 2011 [5 favorites]
Are you my elderly neigbour?
posted by Theta States at 11:37 AM on October 7, 2011 [5 favorites]
Metafilter: A few are clever, but a lot a really vandalism
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 11:40 AM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 11:40 AM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
I enjoyed this. Perfect for a late Friday afternoon.
posted by OmieWise at 11:41 AM on October 7, 2011
posted by OmieWise at 11:41 AM on October 7, 2011
>There's a sign that been stenciled near my house to read:
STOP
Hammertime
Good, but not as good as this one:
Stop
Now try to get it out of your head.
posted by jabberjaw at 11:43 AM on October 7, 2011 [5 favorites]
STOP
Hammertime
Good, but not as good as this one:
Stop
Now try to get it out of your head.
posted by jabberjaw at 11:43 AM on October 7, 2011 [5 favorites]
I was amused and hadn't seen many of these. Thanks for sharing.
posted by charred husk at 11:44 AM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by charred husk at 11:44 AM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
HAMMERZEIT
posted by Eideteker at 11:44 AM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Eideteker at 11:44 AM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
m4mmmmm
Which is oddly the sound you makes with Five Guys in your mouth...
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:45 AM on October 7, 2011 [10 favorites]
Which is oddly the sound you makes with Five Guys in your mouth...
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:45 AM on October 7, 2011 [10 favorites]
I just saw this on StumbleUpon not five minutes ago, how strange.
posted by Paul Breeze at 11:45 AM on October 7, 2011
posted by Paul Breeze at 11:45 AM on October 7, 2011
Which is oddly the sound you makes with Five Guys in your mouth..."
Ew!
posted by theredpen at 11:45 AM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Ew!
posted by theredpen at 11:45 AM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Now I know what to do with all these crappy Five Guys places opening up in New York.
Whaaaat? I've lived here for twenty years and I have never been able to get a burger that is basically a cube of almost disgustingly greasy meat like I can at Five Guys.
I'm not sure I understand what you're saying. You like them or not? I was saying that the only thing Five Guys restaurants are good for is vandalizing.
posted by Liquidwolf at 11:47 AM on October 7, 2011
I'm never going to look at hand-dryers the same way again.
I may also start defacing hand-dryers.
posted by aramaic at 11:47 AM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
I may also start defacing hand-dryers.
posted by aramaic at 11:47 AM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
New York isn't really a burger town, is it? Five Guys is probably pretty good there, considering.
posted by jabberjaw at 11:48 AM on October 7, 2011
posted by jabberjaw at 11:48 AM on October 7, 2011
New York isn't really a burger town, is it?
It's not really a pizza town, either.
Yeah.
That's right.
I went there.
posted by adamdschneider at 11:50 AM on October 7, 2011 [20 favorites]
It's not really a pizza town, either.
Yeah.
That's right.
I went there.
posted by adamdschneider at 11:50 AM on October 7, 2011 [20 favorites]
Stop In The Naaaame Of Love cracked me up. Thanks.
posted by joannemerriam at 11:50 AM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by joannemerriam at 11:50 AM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
"What am I doing here? Does God have a flan for me?"
Does he indeed, Queen Latifah-looking lady, does he indeed.
posted by eugenen at 11:51 AM on October 7, 2011 [3 favorites]
Does he indeed, Queen Latifah-looking lady, does he indeed.
posted by eugenen at 11:51 AM on October 7, 2011 [3 favorites]
It's not really a pizza town, either.
Considering what the rest of the country calls 'pizza', no I guess it's not. What with ours being palatable and all.
posted by griphus at 11:51 AM on October 7, 2011 [6 favorites]
Considering what the rest of the country calls 'pizza', no I guess it's not. What with ours being palatable and all.
posted by griphus at 11:51 AM on October 7, 2011 [6 favorites]
Holy shit not vandalism! Will no one think of the mundanity??
posted by cmoj at 11:52 AM on October 7, 2011 [9 favorites]
posted by cmoj at 11:52 AM on October 7, 2011 [9 favorites]
Applaud the Jellyfish.
posted by drezdn at 11:52 AM on October 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by drezdn at 11:52 AM on October 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
I'll chime in as always to say that New York pizza is one of the most overrated substances in the world. It's on a scale with tobacco.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:53 AM on October 7, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by mrgrimm at 11:53 AM on October 7, 2011 [5 favorites]
Seen above a toilet paper dispenser in Savannah, Georgia:
"SCAD Diploma: Please Take One"
posted by notion at 11:53 AM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
"SCAD Diploma: Please Take One"
posted by notion at 11:53 AM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
"STOP FOR ME: IT'S THE CLAW!" makes me laugh every time.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:55 AM on October 7, 2011 [7 favorites]
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:55 AM on October 7, 2011 [7 favorites]
Bill Posters is an innocent man!
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 11:55 AM on October 7, 2011 [7 favorites]
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 11:55 AM on October 7, 2011 [7 favorites]
I'm only on page 5, and I'm howling... lord, how I love this kind of humor! This might be the largest collection of these I've seen, with quite a few new ones.
posted by hincandenza at 12:01 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by hincandenza at 12:01 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
God has a flan for us all.
posted by rollbiz at 12:02 PM on October 7, 2011 [8 favorites]
posted by rollbiz at 12:02 PM on October 7, 2011 [8 favorites]
Metafilter: one of the most overrated substances in the world.
posted by ob at 12:02 PM on October 7, 2011
posted by ob at 12:02 PM on October 7, 2011
The awe in which Hawthorn supporters held him was shown by the sign outside a church that read: "What would you do if Jesus Christ came to Hawthorn?" it asked.
Underneath it some graffiti wit had scrawled: "Move Peter Hudson to centre half-forward."
posted by uncanny hengeman at 12:02 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
Underneath it some graffiti wit had scrawled: "Move Peter Hudson to centre half-forward."
posted by uncanny hengeman at 12:02 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
I'll chime in as always to say that New York pizza is one of the most overrated substances in the world. It's on a scale with tobacco.
Cylon.
posted by The Whelk at 12:06 PM on October 7, 2011 [10 favorites]
Cylon.
posted by The Whelk at 12:06 PM on October 7, 2011 [10 favorites]
OK, I laughed at the "POST NO FLYERS" one.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 12:12 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by EndsOfInvention at 12:12 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
Whatever, the fact that people take shots at New York pizza poves the the point.
Once the rest of you figure out how to make pizza you need to get to work on roumanian steak sandwichs. But if that is too hard start with hot dogs and work your way up.
One day you will be ready to tackle bagels and knishes, but you have a long way to go.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:23 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Once the rest of you figure out how to make pizza you need to get to work on roumanian steak sandwichs. But if that is too hard start with hot dogs and work your way up.
One day you will be ready to tackle bagels and knishes, but you have a long way to go.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:23 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Try ifile.it/1t295jc/signs.tgz (10megs) instead.
posted by jeffburdges at 12:23 PM on October 7, 2011
posted by jeffburdges at 12:23 PM on October 7, 2011
Stolen pictures that have been circulating around the Internet for eons and show up on Reddit a dozen times a week? Check.
posted by Mo Nickels at 12:32 PM on October 7, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Mo Nickels at 12:32 PM on October 7, 2011 [3 favorites]
I like the site. I'd already seen it a while ago and when I was in Yosemite recently I saw something that was similar. There's a temporary, one way bridge that requires you to stop for a while so that traffic on the opposite side may pass - therefore they installed this sign and the obvious sarcastic alteration occurred... Expect 15 minutes...
posted by blaneyphoto at 12:34 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by blaneyphoto at 12:34 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
I'm a bit surprised this showed up here as well, needs more literary allusions if it wants to capture the coveted MetaFilter demographic.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:35 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Ad hominem at 12:35 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
m4mmmmm
Which is oddly the sound you makes with Five Guys in your mouth...
posted by Blazecock Pileon
Someone named Blazecock Pileon should know!
posted by small_ruminant at 12:37 PM on October 7, 2011
Which is oddly the sound you makes with Five Guys in your mouth...
posted by Blazecock Pileon
Someone named Blazecock Pileon should know!
posted by small_ruminant at 12:37 PM on October 7, 2011
I worked for a few months in the office at an alumina [not aluminium] refinery. There were "motivationals" type safety signs everywhere, particularly in lunch rooms and on bathroom walls and inside bathroom stalls. Some quirky, some serious. Everywhere.
I was reading the paper one morning and saw a story about recent shark attacks with a rather stupid headline like DEATH LURKS BENEATH THE WAVES. So I cut out the DEATH LURKS part, went downstairs to the main bathroom and glued it to the inside-bottom of a green stall door.
It was in a perfect spot – it just drew your eyes to it. Something to contemplate while you're snapping off your morning loaf, in a Joker "not sure if serious" way. Very proud of that effort, I was.
/would this FPP be described as weak sauce?
//do not confuse my overly lengthy and enthusiastic replies as approval
posted by uncanny hengeman at 12:38 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
I was reading the paper one morning and saw a story about recent shark attacks with a rather stupid headline like DEATH LURKS BENEATH THE WAVES. So I cut out the DEATH LURKS part, went downstairs to the main bathroom and glued it to the inside-bottom of a green stall door.
It was in a perfect spot – it just drew your eyes to it. Something to contemplate while you're snapping off your morning loaf, in a Joker "not sure if serious" way. Very proud of that effort, I was.
/would this FPP be described as weak sauce?
//do not confuse my overly lengthy and enthusiastic replies as approval
posted by uncanny hengeman at 12:38 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
... needs more literary allusions if it wants to capture the coveted MetaFilter demographic.
Ugh, fine.
Drunk octopus wants to fight you.
From hell's bathroom, I punch at thee.
posted by griphus at 12:38 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Ugh, fine.
From hell's bathroom, I punch at thee.
posted by griphus at 12:38 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Poor drunk octopus, he is just misunderstood.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:42 PM on October 7, 2011
posted by Ad hominem at 12:42 PM on October 7, 2011
>There's a sign that been stenciled near my house to read:
STOP
Hammertime
Good, but not as good as this one:
Stop
Now try to get it out of your head.
Ahem.
(And I like both New York and Chicago style pizzas, but Neapolitan trounces everything else. However, Chicago dogs and Italian beefs rule all else in the sliced bun/long roll sandwiches genre.)
posted by kmz at 12:58 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
STOP
Hammertime
Good, but not as good as this one:
Stop
Now try to get it out of your head.
Ahem.
(And I like both New York and Chicago style pizzas, but Neapolitan trounces everything else. However, Chicago dogs and Italian beefs rule all else in the sliced bun/long roll sandwiches genre.)
posted by kmz at 12:58 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
My favorite one of these was a sanitary toilet seat cover dispenser at a Denny's somewhere in central California with "FREE COWBOY HATS" scratched into it.
posted by murphy slaw at 1:06 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by murphy slaw at 1:06 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
Can someone explain this one to me?
posted by adamms222 at 1:16 PM on October 7 [+] [!]
Very Rorschach. At first glance, I thought it was my parents having sex.
But now I've spoken to professionals that tell me it's just a man pulling a rabbit from a hat.
posted by Stagger Lee at 1:20 PM on October 7, 2011
1. PUSH BUTTON.
2. RUB HANDS BRISKLYIN WARM AIR ON PANTS
posted by leapfrog at 1:23 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
2. RUB HANDS BRISKLY
posted by leapfrog at 1:23 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
Thanks! I was thinking axe and dead chicken. So this is a bit better.
posted by adamms222 at 1:24 PM on October 7, 2011
posted by adamms222 at 1:24 PM on October 7, 2011
Hee. Krebs cycle.
posted by gaspode at 1:37 PM on October 7, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by gaspode at 1:37 PM on October 7, 2011 [3 favorites]
I thought it was funny. And in the spirit of sarcastic responses, I'd like to thank everyone for sharing with us that these are old and that they've seen them before.
posted by Hoopo at 1:42 PM on October 7, 2011 [12 favorites]
posted by Hoopo at 1:42 PM on October 7, 2011 [12 favorites]
In my home town during the late 70's there was someone who would spray paint stop signs to make them say "Stop Disco". It always made me giggle when I saw one.
posted by GavinR at 1:45 PM on October 7, 2011
posted by GavinR at 1:45 PM on October 7, 2011
Thanks! I was thinking axe and dead chicken.
Hah. Reminds me of the time I was reading a joke book to my 4 year old nephew
me: What's the similarity between a tree and a dog? (answer 'bark')
4 year old: (thinks) They both burn.
me: I don't think I'm going to buy you a puppy.
posted by ciderwoman at 1:48 PM on October 7, 2011 [40 favorites]
Hah. Reminds me of the time I was reading a joke book to my 4 year old nephew
me: What's the similarity between a tree and a dog? (answer 'bark')
4 year old: (thinks) They both burn.
me: I don't think I'm going to buy you a puppy.
posted by ciderwoman at 1:48 PM on October 7, 2011 [40 favorites]
Ew!
I know, right? Their burgers are disgusting.
Fries are pretty good, though.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:00 PM on October 7, 2011 [3 favorites]
I know, right? Their burgers are disgusting.
Fries are pretty good, though.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:00 PM on October 7, 2011 [3 favorites]
Like so many other things, Weird Al does it best.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:02 PM on October 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:02 PM on October 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
"Escalator temporarily out of order stairs" made me laugh.
posted by jefbla at 2:30 PM on October 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by jefbla at 2:30 PM on October 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
This post makes me want to start a blogspamtropes wiki.
posted by fartron at 2:37 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by fartron at 2:37 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
So far I'm liking the (un-altered) absurd signs section better. Not as much sarcasm, but the bold simplicity of "Steps" for example is strangely captivating.
posted by sfenders at 2:42 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by sfenders at 2:42 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
What? No...
STOP
draggin' my
heart around
or
don't
STOP
'til you get
enough
???
Graffitists need to work harder.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:45 PM on October 7, 2011
STOP
draggin' my
heart around
or
don't
STOP
'til you get
enough
???
Graffitists need to work harder.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:45 PM on October 7, 2011
“An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs". Sorry for the convenience.” - Mitch Hedberg
posted by any major dude at 2:56 PM on October 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by any major dude at 2:56 PM on October 7, 2011 [4 favorites]
Well, it made me laugh, long and hard. Perhaps it's just that it's a friday afternoon and I needed a stress release, but I'm glad to have seen it. Thanks for posting!
posted by hippybear at 3:18 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by hippybear at 3:18 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
...needs more literary allusions if it wants to capture the coveted MetaFilter demographic.
I once added "by Jean-Paul Sartre" to a sign reading "No Exit" on some stairs leading to the basement at work; would that count?
I love these things, as well as pizza from all over the place, as long as there is no pineapple on it.
posted by TedW at 3:18 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
I once added "by Jean-Paul Sartre" to a sign reading "No Exit" on some stairs leading to the basement at work; would that count?
I love these things, as well as pizza from all over the place, as long as there is no pineapple on it.
posted by TedW at 3:18 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
Yeah, I lol'ed at the Krebs Cycle one. Printing that one out for the lab.
posted by en forme de poire at 3:21 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by en forme de poire at 3:21 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
A few are clever, but a lot a really vandalism.
If it weren't for the Vandals, we'd still be speaking Latin.
posted by TedW at 3:22 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
If it weren't for the Vandals, we'd still be speaking Latin.
posted by TedW at 3:22 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
These are extremely amusing. I've always liked push button/receive bacon.
A lot of them are just graffiti but the "graffiti is a FUN crime" one is ace.
The best one I've seen is in the waiting area of the math advisors at my alma mater. It said "wait here for advisor" and someone had written "or Godot" underneath it.
posted by NoraReed at 3:31 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
A lot of them are just graffiti but the "graffiti is a FUN crime" one is ace.
The best one I've seen is in the waiting area of the math advisors at my alma mater. It said "wait here for advisor" and someone had written "or Godot" underneath it.
posted by NoraReed at 3:31 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
As far as speaking Latin goes I think it necessary to be vigilant for errors.
posted by ciderwoman at 3:47 PM on October 7, 2011
posted by ciderwoman at 3:47 PM on October 7, 2011
Sarcasm? Not really, not for the most part. Some are pretty damn witty.
There's a difference.
posted by IndigoJones at 3:48 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
There's a difference.
posted by IndigoJones at 3:48 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
THANKS, HANKS.
THANKS.
(This was actually the joke in a Series 2 episode of Look Around You but I can't find a clip.)
posted by tumid dahlia at 3:56 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
THANKS.
(This was actually the joke in a Series 2 episode of Look Around You but I can't find a clip.)
posted by tumid dahlia at 3:56 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
I used to drive by this one a lot when I lived in Tucson.
Glad someone finally fixed it.
posted by mmrtnt at 3:59 PM on October 7, 2011
Glad someone finally fixed it.
posted by mmrtnt at 3:59 PM on October 7, 2011
Really glad I closed the dead baby story and opened this one up instead. Woo, Friday
posted by milk white peacock at 4:09 PM on October 7, 2011
posted by milk white peacock at 4:09 PM on October 7, 2011
I loved these.
I know, right? Their burgers are disgusting.
Fries are pretty good, though.
There's a Five Guys here that always loads the bag with french fries far in excess of the container within the bag. The french fries are great, but I'm never hungry enough for the hamburger after eating my way down to it!
There was a Big Lots in Statesboro, GA that, for six months, the 'L' in the sign was blown out on. I loved that sign, and never failed to point it out to people when we were passing it.
posted by JHarris at 4:12 PM on October 7, 2011
I know, right? Their burgers are disgusting.
Fries are pretty good, though.
There's a Five Guys here that always loads the bag with french fries far in excess of the container within the bag. The french fries are great, but I'm never hungry enough for the hamburger after eating my way down to it!
There was a Big Lots in Statesboro, GA that, for six months, the 'L' in the sign was blown out on. I loved that sign, and never failed to point it out to people when we were passing it.
posted by JHarris at 4:12 PM on October 7, 2011
Five Guys' is a pretty decent fast food style burger. From what I can tell, there's not a whole lot of that in NYC, other than Shake Shack, which you either have to wait in line for eternity, or trek way up town for. (NB: I have not been here that long, tips are welcome.)
posted by !Jim at 4:16 PM on October 7, 2011
posted by !Jim at 4:16 PM on October 7, 2011
The french fries are great, but I'm never hungry enough for the hamburger after eating my way down to it!
That's because you're doing it wrong. The starch+fat+salt of the fries is intended to be the way you round out your meal after having the hamburger, not the thing you eat first.
And Americans wonder why they're all so fat!
posted by hippybear at 4:20 PM on October 7, 2011
That's because you're doing it wrong. The starch+fat+salt of the fries is intended to be the way you round out your meal after having the hamburger, not the thing you eat first.
And Americans wonder why they're all so fat!
posted by hippybear at 4:20 PM on October 7, 2011
I laughed at "Ice Ice Baby".
I guess with enough sleep deprivation, everything is funny. Now I'm going to go drink a pot of coffee.
There's a Five Guys here that always loads the bag with french fries far in excess of the container within the bag.
The Five Guys where I live does this too! Which is fabulous because their fries are amazing. I usually just end up saving my burger for later.
posted by clavier at 4:21 PM on October 7, 2011
I guess with enough sleep deprivation, everything is funny. Now I'm going to go drink a pot of coffee.
There's a Five Guys here that always loads the bag with french fries far in excess of the container within the bag.
The Five Guys where I live does this too! Which is fabulous because their fries are amazing. I usually just end up saving my burger for later.
posted by clavier at 4:21 PM on October 7, 2011
I was ready to hate this until I saw the "V" one. Good work.
posted by jonmc at 4:35 PM on October 7, 2011
posted by jonmc at 4:35 PM on October 7, 2011
Ooo a compilation of amusing images that have been around the Internet for years!
Are you my elderly neigbour?
This sort of comment has some years on it too. My elderly neighbor us a spoilsport who always needs to butt in when people are having fun, but I am going to go ahead and assume that's not you and you're typically better than that sort of comment.
I look forward to the thread in which you have something to contribute, rather than shit on.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 4:50 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
Are you my elderly neigbour?
This sort of comment has some years on it too. My elderly neighbor us a spoilsport who always needs to butt in when people are having fun, but I am going to go ahead and assume that's not you and you're typically better than that sort of comment.
I look forward to the thread in which you have something to contribute, rather than shit on.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 4:50 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
I will deftly avoid the pizza landmine and mention that Island Burgers and Shakes is fucking awesome.
posted by SpiffyRob at 4:53 PM on October 7, 2011
posted by SpiffyRob at 4:53 PM on October 7, 2011
I don't know whether it was posted here or at Reddit but this has been bookmarked for a few weeks because I find it hilarious. Actually my favorite is the Pointless fliers.
So maybe I'm easy. Or maybe...gasp...elderly.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:03 PM on October 7, 2011
So maybe I'm easy. Or maybe...gasp...elderly.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:03 PM on October 7, 2011
Here's the link, tumid dahlia: Thanks, ants. Thants.
posted by herrdoktor at 5:27 PM on October 7, 2011
posted by herrdoktor at 5:27 PM on October 7, 2011
When I lived in Toronto there was construction going on at the nearest subway station. Outside on the plywood walls around the construction zone was one of those pre-fab signs that said "Danger Due To", with a white space underneath for the specific issue to be written in, someone had written "MANIAC" there in large capital letters.
I snickered all the way to work. I am still snickering.
posted by biscotti at 5:27 PM on October 7, 2011
I snickered all the way to work. I am still snickering.
posted by biscotti at 5:27 PM on October 7, 2011
I don't know if I just had a rough week or what, but I laughed out loud, had to move to another room as to not wake my 4 year old.
Thanks.
posted by signal at 5:47 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Thanks.
posted by signal at 5:47 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
Looking at this one, which I found moderately amusing, I suddenly realized that the buildings were almost certainly in New England. Google Street View to the rescue! I went through Cambridge, Somerville, and Boston, but didn't find any likely Arnold Street, Avenue, or Court. Then I thought I'd try Providence. I'm pretty sure the picture was taken here. The houses on the right all seem to match, and so does the green and yellow fire hydrant. Unfortunately, the sign is gone.
posted by A dead Quaker at 5:55 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by A dead Quaker at 5:55 PM on October 7, 2011 [2 favorites]
I don't have time to read every funny image posted to reddit. I come to Metafilter so people can distill the internet humor into an easily digestible FPP. And don't point out to me the irony of spending hours at this site when I should be looking for a job ... on a week day.
The "flan" one tops them all, although I did like the "rosswalk" too. I am currently fantasizing about making easily removable stickers to place for the "applaud the jellyfish".
What I really liked were the collection of passive-aggressive notes.
posted by chemoboy at 6:04 PM on October 7, 2011
The "flan" one tops them all, although I did like the "rosswalk" too. I am currently fantasizing about making easily removable stickers to place for the "applaud the jellyfish".
What I really liked were the collection of passive-aggressive notes.
posted by chemoboy at 6:04 PM on October 7, 2011
i loved the "no outlet" photograph - sheer genius
once upon a time, several years ago, i was driving down riverside dr in battle creek south towards the mall and i saw one of those deer signs - only someone had drawn fangs on the deer
my first thought - "vampire deer"
my second thought - "that would be a great name for a band"
and now you know why i post my songs as vampire deer
posted by pyramid termite at 6:12 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
once upon a time, several years ago, i was driving down riverside dr in battle creek south towards the mall and i saw one of those deer signs - only someone had drawn fangs on the deer
my first thought - "vampire deer"
my second thought - "that would be a great name for a band"
and now you know why i post my songs as vampire deer
posted by pyramid termite at 6:12 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
oh, no, i didn't close the tag ...
posted by pyramid termite at 6:13 PM on October 7, 2011
posted by pyramid termite at 6:13 PM on October 7, 2011
and i really like these google search suggestions - note - i tried "what is it called when" and got ...
what is it called when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
a plane in the neck
posted by pyramid termite at 6:31 PM on October 7, 2011
what is it called when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
a plane in the neck
posted by pyramid termite at 6:31 PM on October 7, 2011
Here somebody spray-paint-stencils "DRIVING" under "STOP" on the stop signs. Like this.
posted by madcaptenor at 7:20 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by madcaptenor at 7:20 PM on October 7, 2011 [1 favorite]
I love this kind of dorky humor. I went to an American high school in England and my friend and I always cracked up about the men with heavy umbrellas signs.
posted by bendy at 7:33 PM on October 7, 2011
posted by bendy at 7:33 PM on October 7, 2011
man, i thought most of these were great. thanks!
posted by sleepy pete at 7:50 PM on October 7, 2011
posted by sleepy pete at 7:50 PM on October 7, 2011
At my workplace, posters were put up in the bathrooms in the lead-in to winter trying to limit the impact of colds urging us to wash our hands and to consider staying home if we were sick and so on. They even had a snazzy rhyming slogan - 'coughs and sneeze spread diseases'. Unfortunately, they also have a picture of a dust mite for some reason (confused graphic designer perhaps), so if anyone has ideas for witty ripostes, I may 'amend' a few.
There was also a sign a while back for a construction company that was doing some work around the place. The name of the company, 'Hooker Cockram' made my inner 13 year old giggle.
posted by Hello, I'm David McGahan at 7:59 PM on October 7, 2011
There was also a sign a while back for a construction company that was doing some work around the place. The name of the company, 'Hooker Cockram' made my inner 13 year old giggle.
posted by Hello, I'm David McGahan at 7:59 PM on October 7, 2011
I used to drive by this one a lot when I lived in Tucson.
Glad someone finally fixed it.
They fixed it? That doesn't work for me. Tucson road trip and vandalism mission initiated.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 9:19 PM on October 7, 2011
Glad someone finally fixed it.
They fixed it? That doesn't work for me. Tucson road trip and vandalism mission initiated.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 9:19 PM on October 7, 2011
Some of the best things are the signs linked to above, things that need no addition. Growing up, a member of my synagogue was the president of a company called (I shit you not) Beaver Research. Get a company hat, some coveralls, and a clipboard, and you'll have the best Halloween costume teen Ghidorah could imagine.
posted by Ghidorah at 9:25 PM on October 7, 2011
posted by Ghidorah at 9:25 PM on October 7, 2011
Growing up, a member of my synagogue was the president of a company called (I shit you not) Beaver Research.
There used to be a college called "Beaver College" near Philadelphia. They changed their name to "Arcadia University" about ten years ago; apparently porn filters were blocking their web site.
posted by madcaptenor at 9:32 PM on October 7, 2011
There used to be a college called "Beaver College" near Philadelphia. They changed their name to "Arcadia University" about ten years ago; apparently porn filters were blocking their web site.
posted by madcaptenor at 9:32 PM on October 7, 2011
They were pretty funny and clever at first, but as it went on, I found myself thinking I'd like to punch out whoever did some of them. As much for defacing property as for just being unfunny, not clever, and permanent (like the 2B sign, or Mr T).
And I'm not quite sure what message Kaiser Permanente is conveying there.
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 3:25 AM on October 8, 2011
And I'm not quite sure what message Kaiser Permanente is conveying there.
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 3:25 AM on October 8, 2011
I'll admit that happyplace.com is way better than cheese burger network sites though.
posted by jeffburdges at 7:09 AM on October 8, 2011
posted by jeffburdges at 7:09 AM on October 8, 2011
"STOP FOR ME: IT'S THE CLAW!" makes me laugh every time.
For those who haven't seen.
posted by msbrauer at 7:19 AM on October 8, 2011 [1 favorite]
For those who haven't seen.
posted by msbrauer at 7:19 AM on October 8, 2011 [1 favorite]
Tip: if you put clear packing tape on the backing sheet for printer labels, you can laser print clear labels.
This once led to bathroom dispensers for blue liquid hand soap being labeled: Smurf Semen.
That is all.
posted by warbaby at 8:00 AM on October 8, 2011 [3 favorites]
This once led to bathroom dispensers for blue liquid hand soap being labeled: Smurf Semen.
That is all.
posted by warbaby at 8:00 AM on October 8, 2011 [3 favorites]
I liked the sexual church signs, google autocompletes, craigslist job postings, and headline photo pairings.
posted by jeffburdges at 8:16 AM on October 8, 2011
posted by jeffburdges at 8:16 AM on October 8, 2011
I've noticed that the Five Guys' that aren't among the originals in Northern VA suck pretty hard. But the originals are heaven on earth.
posted by gjc at 8:30 AM on October 8, 2011
posted by gjc at 8:30 AM on October 8, 2011
Lately I've been finding that the Five Guys in northern VA have really been phoning it in on the fries. The burgers are above-average-by-fast-food-standards as always (which is often exactly what I'm looking for), but they accompany them with an ocean of soggy, lukewarm potato corpses. It used to be quantity and (relative) quality, now it's just an annoying maze I have to wade through to find my burger.
posted by Riki tiki at 3:27 PM on October 8, 2011
posted by Riki tiki at 3:27 PM on October 8, 2011
Growing up, a member of my synagogue was the president of a company called (I shit you not) Beaver Research.
that's about two miles from where i live - i drive past there about once a week - web site here - and i have seen their products where i work
posted by pyramid termite at 7:26 PM on October 8, 2011
that's about two miles from where i live - i drive past there about once a week - web site here - and i have seen their products where i work
posted by pyramid termite at 7:26 PM on October 8, 2011
Here's the link, tumid dahlia: Thanks, ants. Thants.
Hehe yup got that one, I mean there was a joke in Season 2 where these two guys, both named Hank, helped out with an experiment. The voiceover guy was all "Thanks, Hanks! Thanks!"
posted by tumid dahlia at 8:16 PM on October 8, 2011
Hehe yup got that one, I mean there was a joke in Season 2 where these two guys, both named Hank, helped out with an experiment. The voiceover guy was all "Thanks, Hanks! Thanks!"
posted by tumid dahlia at 8:16 PM on October 8, 2011
Thanks, mudpuppie. Seconding (thirding?) the enjoyment of the passive-aggressive notes to neighbors.
posted by mekko at 9:55 PM on October 8, 2011
posted by mekko at 9:55 PM on October 8, 2011
I once saw a Deer Crossing sign that had a tiny round daub of red nail polish on the nose.
posted by Soliloquy at 10:18 PM on October 8, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Soliloquy at 10:18 PM on October 8, 2011 [2 favorites]
JHarris: "I loved these.
I know, right? Their burgers are disgusting.
Fries are pretty good, though.
There's a Five Guys here that always loads the bag with french fries far in excess of the container within the bag. The french fries are great, but I'm never hungry enough for the hamburger after eating my way down to it!
That's not a quirk - it's how Five Guys works everywhere. One order of fries is enough for two people. A large is enough for four. If you're trying to eat there by yourself you either give/throw half your fries away or resign yourself to heart disease.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 8:35 AM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
I know, right? Their burgers are disgusting.
Fries are pretty good, though.
There's a Five Guys here that always loads the bag with french fries far in excess of the container within the bag. The french fries are great, but I'm never hungry enough for the hamburger after eating my way down to it!
That's not a quirk - it's how Five Guys works everywhere. One order of fries is enough for two people. A large is enough for four. If you're trying to eat there by yourself you either give/throw half your fries away or resign yourself to heart disease.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 8:35 AM on October 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
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posted by beagle at 11:23 AM on October 7, 2011