...the Terrorist Deportation Plan can't wait.
September 28, 2001 7:25 AM   Subscribe

...the Terrorist Deportation Plan can't wait. There will be two fail-safes: (1) Muslim immigrants who agree to spy on the millions of Muslim citizens unaffected by the deportation order can stay; and (2) any Muslim immigrant who gets a U.S. senator to waive his deportation -- by name -- gets to stay......Ann Coulter, expanding on the whole 'Love thy neighbor' thing
posted by thewittyname (28 comments total)
Not all blondes are bigoted conservative harridan columnists, but all conservative harridan columnists who call for a murderous rampage across the Middle East are blonde. Does that mean that all blondes should be deported, Ann? Or just sectioned? Oh, and since it's pretty easy to hide your natural hair colour, should we be going after brunettes and redheads as well?

Dear me. I'm sure the only people who bother to read Ann Coulter are on the left, and in need of righteous indignation; the righties are too busy playing the pink trombone to pictures of her legs.
posted by holgate at 7:39 AM on September 28, 2001

"Beware the demon one, whose golden tresses will fall languid upon her shoulders, and who will flash a lot of thigh on cable."
-- Nostradamus
posted by luser at 7:49 AM on September 28, 2001

i would never thought to attack her hair color. simply smashing. everyone knows blondes are diabolical.
posted by newnameintown at 8:10 AM on September 28, 2001

The woman is an illogical, perpetual whiner. But as long as you remember to hit mute before she speaks, she ain't all that bad on TV.
posted by Witold at 8:23 AM on September 28, 2001

As written before elsewhere,
in two words:



it's time the latter Limbaughism was reclaimed to describe her ilk.
posted by y2karl at 8:36 AM on September 28, 2001

Without freedom of speech, delusional views like hers would not have been exposed, as well as low, albeit funny jabs at her hair color.
posted by slipperytoast at 8:53 AM on September 28, 2001

Without freedom of speech, delusional views like hers would not have been exposed, as well as low, albeit funny jabs at her hair color.
posted by slipperytoast at 8:57 AM on September 28, 2001

Coulter is the Anna Kournikova of the gab set, using blond sex appeal to cover for at-best mediocre writing and arguments. What is a "suspect nation"? Would she deport caucasian Muslims, or just dark-skinned ones? It's not even that her arguments are racist and faulty; it's that otherwise intelligent editors and talk-show executives are convinced that she is able to make an argument at all.
posted by risenc at 8:58 AM on September 28, 2001

Wow, she even has her own Yahoo! fan club. 4,907 people that pretty much just want to trade pictures of her. Yuck.
posted by kboyer at 9:07 AM on September 28, 2001

I think the events of 9/11 have sent her around the bend...she used to be merely "right wing," but now she's positively loopy. Yikes. Well, at least we still have Laura to dote on.
posted by davidmsc at 9:10 AM on September 28, 2001

Of course, you do not have to be blonde to be a Republibimbo.
posted by piskycritters at 9:11 AM on September 28, 2001

I am interested in Coulter from an evolutionary perspective. The hair is what attracts men, who seem to say very nice things about her above. But take a close look at the face. Not all that attractive and has the built-in gentically given (?) sneer, so typical of conservatives...she inlcludes in her repetroire the sneer with a quck grap at irony as though she Knows something lesser beings do not yet know as yet but will soon find out about.
ps: Geraldo,often having her as a guest, seems to dig her.
posted by Postroad at 9:23 AM on September 28, 2001

built-in gentically given (?) sneer, so typical of conservatives...

Thats a pretty stupid thing to say.
posted by glenwood at 9:27 AM on September 28, 2001

I think the events of 9/11 have sent her around the bend...

Uh-uh, she's always been a nutball. In her book High Crimes and Misdemeanors she wrote, "We have a national debate about whether Clinton ‘did it,’ even though all sentient people know he did... otherwise there would only be debates about whether to impeach or assassinate."
posted by nikzhowz at 9:36 AM on September 28, 2001

The only difference between Ann KKKoulter and Adolf Hitler (hair color, etc., aside) is that when Hitler exported the undesirables there were concentration camps with gas chambers at the other end of the rail line.
posted by beagle at 9:45 AM on September 28, 2001

Anita Bryant, much?
posted by donkeyschlong at 9:48 AM on September 28, 2001

Quote from Coulter's 9/14 column: We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war.
posted by beagle at 9:51 AM on September 28, 2001

Speaking of ad hominem attacks, in 1999 Salon offered these dating tips for her:
  1. Quit injecting yourself with your own urine
  2. Eat some cake
  3. Have a beer
  4. Quit being white
  5. Stop being a mean bitch
  6. Free your hair from that dominatrix hair stylist
  7. Get a nice short cut
  8. Buy a vibrator
  9. Get your head out of your ass
  10. Don't make your living as a sexual harpy
  11. Get real
posted by kirkaracha at 10:02 AM on September 28, 2001

I like this quote better...

"It's times like this that I get down on my knees and..."

Yes, I know its way out of context but the beavis and butthead in me has been itching to show its immature face
posted by Qambient at 10:11 AM on September 28, 2001

Um, people? There are better responses to Coulter's mad stereotyping than... mad stereotyping. (Hence my first comment.) For instance, I suspect that the families of Muslim immigrants who were working at the WTC on 11th September might have a fairly well-considered response to her ethnic cleansing plan for "suspicious-looking swarthy males".

Anyway, let's leave the Coulter-baiting (homophonically) to the Freepers, yeah?

(Although, Qambiant, do you get the feeling that after two weeks of slagging off "McDonald's reject" airport staff and "sullen, dictatorial security", the next time Ms Coulter flies it's likely to be the full cavity strip-search and a downgrade from business class to the luggage hold?)
posted by holgate at 10:19 AM on September 28, 2001

I'll help pay for that. Anyone else want to donate?
posted by RakDaddy at 10:28 AM on September 28, 2001

That I do holgate. I truly hope she reaps the benefits of air travel after that extremely colorful and well researched review of airport security. There is nothing more wise offending the "McDonalds rejects" before they give you your big mac with "special sauce".

I actually do agree with most of her suggestions for fixing airline security.

Does anyone else think that having armed national guards roaming the airports is going to help stop highjackers?
posted by Qambient at 10:38 AM on September 28, 2001

Congress has authority to pass a law tomorrow requiring aliens from suspect countries to leave. As far as the Constitution is concerned, aliens, which is to say non-citizens, are here at this country's pleasure. They have no constitutional right to be here.

This should make us safe. Terrorists can't be citizens.
posted by Sinner at 11:04 AM on September 28, 2001

Her proposals make little sense. Some of the terrorists were originally from countries allied with us, such as Saudi Arabia. Obviously mass deportation would not be a good idea foreign policy wise...aw, screw it. How the heck did she get so famous anyway (she doesn't seem to be a gadfly, and actually is published in places prestigious enough to embarras more rational conservatives.)
posted by Charmian at 11:30 AM on September 28, 2001

I think we can all agree, even my brethren on the right such as davidmsc, that Ann Coulter has gone around the bend completely and can hardly be considered to represent reasoned conservative viewpoints at this point (at least, I sure hope she isn't a slice of mainstream conservative thought). However, I've never gotten the attractiveness thing- even putting aside the sneer and the nasally voice, she's hideous, people! All skinny and bony and grotesque. Ewww... and that Salon column was priceless- had forgotten about it, thanks kirkaracha.
posted by hincandenza at 1:09 PM on September 28, 2001

She can write stuff like this and not get kicked off her tv pundit gig? I am simply amazed that she would think something like this, amazed that she could write and publish something like this, and scared that someone might take her seriously ever again.
posted by rdr at 4:52 PM on September 28, 2001

I was stunned she was on Politically Incorrect earlier this week after her last two columns. The woman's a lunatic, just a few TEC-9's short of a Columbine.

Still, Eric Alterman called this one in his "Sound and the Fury" about the rise of the punditocracy: it's essentially become such a great, exclusive club to get into- once you're a known "pundit" you can write your own meal ticket with speaking gigs and MSNBC/CNN/FOX/Nightline appearances. So the cardinal rule among these folk is you never criticize each other directly- you just play your assigned roles, from leftwing to right, from "voice of conscience" to "snarky contrarian", and everyone rakes in the cash. If that weren't the case, people like Coulter would and should get reamed if they ever appeared on a Greenfield or an O'Reilly type show- the host would tear them a new one! Fortunately, that won't happen since it would require integrity on the part of the host, a six- or seven- figure earning pundit themselves.
posted by hincandenza at 6:04 PM on September 28, 2001

Coulter isn't alone in her loopiness. Peggy Noonan has also weighed in with the largely inoffensive God is Back, a column at first appearing to merely celebrate the return to religiosity in America following the attack. Then we get, from left -- er, right -- field:

I find myself thinking in mystical terms of President Bush's speech to Congress and the country, and I know from conversations with many people that I am not alone.

It seemed to me a God-touched moment and a God-touched speech, by which I mean, in part, that little miracles surrounded it. A president and staff who had no time to produce something fine and lasting, produced it.

Uh, yeah, Pegs -- it was a darn decent speech by Bush terms, which is normally but faint praise. It was written by someone with an ear for Dubya's just- a- simple- man- from- Texas speech patterns, and laid out some important, broad themes that needed to be heard, but it was by no means perfect or miraculous. Unless you count -- well, apparently you do count his previous unremarkable performance:

it. A president who at his strongest moments had betrayed a certain "I'm kinda surprised to be here" vibration had metamorphosed into a gentleman of cool command--the kind of command you sense in a man who understands he ought to be there, should be leading, can trust his own judgment and rely on you to respect it. A great but wounded country heard exactly what it needed to pick itself up, dust itself off and start all over again.

Mr. Bush had a new weight, a new gravity, a new physical and moral comfort. You could see it. A man who had never been able to read from a TelePrompTer before used the TelePrompTer like a seasoned pro, which is to say like a man who didn't need one.

Mr. Bush found his voice, just at the moment when people tend to lose theirs.

Not that any conservative columnist would have dared break ranks to describe the obvious Quayle-in-headlights look Bush all too often displayed -- and any liberal who dared would have been instantly labeled a "Bush hater", I suppose. Post-Sep.-11, Noonan can say whatever she wants about the man, because now those truths have been eclipsed by national unity and purpose. But they were never untrue.

Then she manages to close the column with a horribly researched anecdote, something the Wall Street Journal might have been ashamed to print had it not been a tweak to one of its supposed arch-rivals:

I was thinking the other day: In 1964, Time Magazine famously headlined "God Is Dead." I hope now, at the very highest reaches of that great magazine, they do a cover that says "God Is Back."

Except it wasn't 1964, it was 1966; and it wasn't "God is Dead", but "Is God Dead?" And they concluded that America was still pretty darned religious after all.

At least Peggy had a little religious moment there. Maybe she'll start the Church of Dubya the Merciful and Forceful of Speech. :-S
posted by dhartung at 6:27 PM on September 28, 2001

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