No one rivals Doom! NO ONE! Doom is supreme! There is no power on earth, no intellect in all creation to equal Mine!
November 2, 2011 4:57 PM Subscribe
Bah...none of that doesn't even begin to compare to the time when Doom owed Luke Cage $200.
posted by GavinR at 5:12 PM on November 2, 2011 [18 favorites]
posted by GavinR at 5:12 PM on November 2, 2011 [18 favorites]
What, no Doctor Doom crying in the wake of 9/11?
posted by Sticherbeast at 5:15 PM on November 2, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by Sticherbeast at 5:15 PM on November 2, 2011 [6 favorites]
It's worth noting that Doctor Doom loves My Little Pony.
posted by mhoye at 5:22 PM on November 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by mhoye at 5:22 PM on November 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
What, no Doctor Doom crying in the wake of 9/11?
Possibly the most ridiculous single panel in comic book history. Even more ridiculous than that Kevin Smith one where Batman pees himself.
posted by tumid dahlia at 5:33 PM on November 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
Possibly the most ridiculous single panel in comic book history. Even more ridiculous than that Kevin Smith one where Batman pees himself.
posted by tumid dahlia at 5:33 PM on November 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
He's also a talented Prop comedian.
posted by 1970s Antihero at 5:33 PM on November 2, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by 1970s Antihero at 5:33 PM on November 2, 2011 [5 favorites]
"Distraught" looks more like "someone kicked the hell out of his puppy." Doom looks so sad....
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:37 PM on November 2, 2011
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:37 PM on November 2, 2011
Doctor Dooom, likes having roaches around.
posted by mintcake! at 6:11 PM on November 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by mintcake! at 6:11 PM on November 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
NO ONE RIVALS DOOM! In all of existence, there is but ONE who I will admit to be... MY BETTER!
I, DOOM, obey one and only one mistress... she commands, and I obey! SHE is the one who decides the fate of untold trillions, SHE is the one who decides who decides who suffers and who prospers, SHE is forever the better of DOOM! If you fear DOOM, then you must fear death I mean SQUIRREL GIRL!
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:32 PM on November 2, 2011 [5 favorites]
I, DOOM, obey one and only one mistress... she commands, and I obey! SHE is the one who decides the fate of untold trillions, SHE is the one who decides who decides who suffers and who prospers, SHE is forever the better of DOOM! If you fear DOOM, then you must fear death I mean SQUIRREL GIRL!
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:32 PM on November 2, 2011 [5 favorites]
This is my script for the prequel to "World War Hulk" - It's set in a public park in Rochester, NY.
HULK: Here. We Begin here. We bring death and ruin, until they seek us out, and then we smash them.
CEREBRO FILE: SQUIRREL GIRL
Mutant. Only deviation from Human Normal is an affinity with squirrels.
CEREBRO FILE: TIPPY-TOE
Mutant. Only deviation from Squirrel Normal is a near-human level of intelligence, and human-level longevity.
CEREBRO ASSESSMENT: SQUIRREL GIRL/TIPPY-TOE - DO NOT MESS WITH UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
SQUIRREL GIRL: Hulk, I understand you're mad, but this is Rochester, and as a Great Lakes Avenger, I'm sworn to defend it. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you and your friends to leave.
HULK: I'm going to eat him, your little pet, after I make him watch me rip your colon out through your big mouth.
SQUIRREL GIRL: Well, that's just rude. Thanny, could you take care of the bugs?
THANOS: Your whim is my will!
THANOS: Brood! Your extinguishment is at hand! Behold the Gauntlet Complete, which I wield in the name of my mistress, Death I mean Squirrel Girl!
SQUIRREL GIRL: Doc, I need you to keep those alien buddies plenty busy…
DOOM: Doom is all-conquering, Warbound! You only think you know of war… DOOM will educate you, and you will tremble and weep at the name of... Squirrel Girl!
SQUIRREL GIRL: Just you and me against the big greenie-meanie, Tippy-Toe! Ready? Let's go!
HULK: Did you just sic Thanos and Doctor Doom on my entourage?
SQUIRREL GIRL: Fin Fang Foom and MODOK were busy. Don't worry about them, Hulk, worry about me… urk!
HULK (hoisting our hero by her throat): What are you going to do now? Fuzz me to death? I've seen your file. I've seen your little pet's file. You are both a soft and crushable bump in the road, and now...
(Caption) THREE MINUTES LATER...
HULK: No… no more… no more… I'm done. Finished. I will go to New York City, and contend with the heroes there. Rochester, nay, everything north of Rt. 90, is safe from the Hulk.
NO-NAME: Mercy! Mercy Mistress! The Brood will leave your fair lands be, and recoil in horror at the very mention of Upstate New York… the Land of Squirrel Girl! We defeated the Mad Titan, but we could not defeat you!
KORG: Hulk… Hulk has saved us yet again, by making peace instead of war. We will go to New York City, and confine our conquest of vengeance there. Doom was almost too much for us… but Squirrel Girl was the tide that could not be turned back!
SQUIRREL GIRL: Well, it's a compromise, Tippy-Toe, and not a good one, but he's too tough to take down straight to the ground! I just hope all those heroes in the city can pick up where we left off!
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:49 PM on November 2, 2011 [11 favorites]
HULK: Here. We Begin here. We bring death and ruin, until they seek us out, and then we smash them.
CEREBRO FILE: SQUIRREL GIRL
Mutant. Only deviation from Human Normal is an affinity with squirrels.
CEREBRO FILE: TIPPY-TOE
Mutant. Only deviation from Squirrel Normal is a near-human level of intelligence, and human-level longevity.
CEREBRO ASSESSMENT: SQUIRREL GIRL/TIPPY-TOE - DO NOT MESS WITH UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
SQUIRREL GIRL: Hulk, I understand you're mad, but this is Rochester, and as a Great Lakes Avenger, I'm sworn to defend it. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you and your friends to leave.
HULK: I'm going to eat him, your little pet, after I make him watch me rip your colon out through your big mouth.
SQUIRREL GIRL: Well, that's just rude. Thanny, could you take care of the bugs?
THANOS: Your whim is my will!
THANOS: Brood! Your extinguishment is at hand! Behold the Gauntlet Complete, which I wield in the name of my mistress, Death I mean Squirrel Girl!
SQUIRREL GIRL: Doc, I need you to keep those alien buddies plenty busy…
DOOM: Doom is all-conquering, Warbound! You only think you know of war… DOOM will educate you, and you will tremble and weep at the name of... Squirrel Girl!
SQUIRREL GIRL: Just you and me against the big greenie-meanie, Tippy-Toe! Ready? Let's go!
HULK: Did you just sic Thanos and Doctor Doom on my entourage?
SQUIRREL GIRL: Fin Fang Foom and MODOK were busy. Don't worry about them, Hulk, worry about me… urk!
HULK (hoisting our hero by her throat): What are you going to do now? Fuzz me to death? I've seen your file. I've seen your little pet's file. You are both a soft and crushable bump in the road, and now...
(Caption) THREE MINUTES LATER...
HULK: No… no more… no more… I'm done. Finished. I will go to New York City, and contend with the heroes there. Rochester, nay, everything north of Rt. 90, is safe from the Hulk.
NO-NAME: Mercy! Mercy Mistress! The Brood will leave your fair lands be, and recoil in horror at the very mention of Upstate New York… the Land of Squirrel Girl! We defeated the Mad Titan, but we could not defeat you!
KORG: Hulk… Hulk has saved us yet again, by making peace instead of war. We will go to New York City, and confine our conquest of vengeance there. Doom was almost too much for us… but Squirrel Girl was the tide that could not be turned back!
SQUIRREL GIRL: Well, it's a compromise, Tippy-Toe, and not a good one, but he's too tough to take down straight to the ground! I just hope all those heroes in the city can pick up where we left off!
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:49 PM on November 2, 2011 [11 favorites]
I think it's missing the "Doom BDSM slave mood" (ok, nonconsensual, but still) that he has going on with one of the parallel universe Reed Richards in the current run of FF. Yes, you read that right, it broke my brain too a couple weeks ago.
posted by Iosephus at 7:12 PM on November 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Iosephus at 7:12 PM on November 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
I appreciate Doom's range there. Glad he likes cupcakes, too. Mags doesn't seem like a pastry-loving fella.
posted by dragonplayer at 7:31 PM on November 2, 2011
posted by dragonplayer at 7:31 PM on November 2, 2011
I thought this was going to be about the rapper. Maaaaan.
posted by raihan_ at 7:32 PM on November 2, 2011
posted by raihan_ at 7:32 PM on November 2, 2011
I thought this was going to be about the rapper. Maaaaan.
I always like to think that MF Doom really IS Dr. Doom, and is just a stage persona he adopts when the stress of World Domination & Humilating Reed Richards starts wearing him down and he needs some personal "Doom-Time" to just express himself without anyone getting all Judgey McJudgerson on him.
posted by KingEdRa at 7:42 PM on November 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
I always like to think that MF Doom really IS Dr. Doom, and is just a stage persona he adopts when the stress of World Domination & Humilating Reed Richards starts wearing him down and he needs some personal "Doom-Time" to just express himself without anyone getting all Judgey McJudgerson on him.
posted by KingEdRa at 7:42 PM on November 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
Completely unrelated (kinda) but easily my favourite PBF comic.
posted by smithsmith at 7:49 PM on November 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by smithsmith at 7:49 PM on November 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
I always like to think that MF Doom really IS Dr. Doom.
I like to think that he's a Doombot whose AI has gone haywire.
posted by Rangeboy at 8:08 PM on November 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
I like to think that he's a Doombot whose AI has gone haywire.
posted by Rangeboy at 8:08 PM on November 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
That or he's weeping because he's upset at being outdone. And by mere hijacked airplanes too, not even a giant robot or an earthquake ray.
posted by Artw at 8:21 PM on November 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Artw at 8:21 PM on November 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
Bah...none of that doesn't even begin to compare to the time when Doom owed Luke Cage $200.
Man, I read that as "the time when Doom owed NIC Cage $200," and I was very, very disappointed.
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 10:14 PM on November 2, 2011
Man, I read that as "the time when Doom owed NIC Cage $200," and I was very, very disappointed.
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 10:14 PM on November 2, 2011
Completely unrelated (kinda) but easily my favourite PBF comic.
Whoa, there's a new PBF there that's only a few days old. Surprising.
posted by painquale at 11:13 PM on November 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
Whoa, there's a new PBF there that's only a few days old. Surprising.
posted by painquale at 11:13 PM on November 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
Post well done. Some Mefites like to grind their political axes.
Not me. This is the reason I come to Metafilter. The mighty Dr. Doom, with guest appearances by Luke Cage and Squirrel Girl!
posted by jabberjaw at 2:45 PM on November 3, 2011
Not me. This is the reason I come to Metafilter. The mighty Dr. Doom, with guest appearances by Luke Cage and Squirrel Girl!
posted by jabberjaw at 2:45 PM on November 3, 2011
Are you doubting mighty Latveria's influence on the world political stage?
posted by Artw at 2:54 PM on November 3, 2011
posted by Artw at 2:54 PM on November 3, 2011
I have no doubt. The grinding of political axes by mere mortals is worthless and illusory in the face of Doom.
posted by jabberjaw at 3:39 PM on November 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by jabberjaw at 3:39 PM on November 3, 2011 [3 favorites]
International monetary crisis? What cares Doom of these things? Beside, those worthless fucks from Hydra are probably behind it.
posted by Artw at 3:41 PM on November 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Artw at 3:41 PM on November 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
Bummer: Nick Spencer and Becky Cloonan's 'Victor Von Doom' Miniseries Canceled Before Publication
posted by Artw at 4:15 PM on November 4, 2011
posted by Artw at 4:15 PM on November 4, 2011
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