Livin' the Life (slyt)
December 28, 2011 1:41 PM   Subscribe

 
I reached the "I want to punch him as hard as I can in the cock" at about :51 in.
posted by Ber at 1:43 PM on December 28, 2011 [11 favorites]


Did he commission that song? I wasn't listening too closely, but the lyrics seemed specific to him.
posted by Kevin Street at 1:45 PM on December 28, 2011


Oh my.
posted by lagreen at 1:46 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


So this is basically the midlife crisis version of Rebecca Black's Friday?
posted by Tomorrowful at 1:47 PM on December 28, 2011 [30 favorites]


Come back Vanilla Ice. All is forgiven.
posted by MuffinMan at 1:47 PM on December 28, 2011 [13 favorites]


Is it old?

Ridiculously old. This is starting to seriously smell. Watch it and move on.
It has been tweeted 1187 times already, and the first time was 141 days ago.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 1:48 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]




As seen on Tosh.0! And we used to complain about crossposts from reddit..
posted by Nelson at 1:51 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


While it strives me as corny, I also have to admit there's a bit wisdom in what he's saying. You get one life, you don't know when it's going to end, so you might as while have fun with it.

There are worst messages.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:51 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


I mean, aside from him not really knowing what some of terminology means and him being old and white I don't see how this is much worse than, say Jay-Z.

But, twizzum taint?
posted by cmoj at 1:51 PM on December 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


Damnit I told Puff Daddy nothing good would come of him releasing that All About The Benjamins track. Look what'cha did Diddy!
posted by mannequito at 1:52 PM on December 28, 2011


I liked it.
posted by facetious at 1:55 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


If it's supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, then it's kind of funny. If not...
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:58 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Why does embarrassing white-guy rap always sound like they're cribbing The Message, even in 2011?
posted by Thorzdad at 1:58 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


I liked it.
posted by facetious at 3:55 PM on December 28


I see what you did there.
posted by Roman Graves at 1:58 PM on December 28, 2011 [4 favorites]


I'm not living the life, and also don't believe the hype, so I'm not sure where this puts me in his worldview.
posted by localhuman at 1:59 PM on December 28, 2011


Allen Samuels rapping reminds me of 2Pac's Atlantic City casino management.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 2:01 PM on December 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


I am living a life.
posted by everichon at 2:01 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Dudes. 55 years old. One of my 55-year-old friends spent a week in the hospital last year with heart trouble. "Livin' the life" takes on a more urgent meaning as the age rises.
posted by telstar at 2:03 PM on December 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


So, Mercedes has hired that Ocean Marketing guy?
posted by jbickers at 2:03 PM on December 28, 2011 [9 favorites]


I totally believe any and all hype!
posted by aubilenon at 2:04 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hey, I wish I was living the life. Don't be a hater.
posted by shoesietart at 2:04 PM on December 28, 2011


Mr. Samuels, I congratulate you on your success so far and hope that it continues. In fact, I hope Suge Knight dangles you off a 20th floor balcony and you have the guts to turn down his offer, because you're living the life.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 2:08 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


How mortified are his kids?
posted by desjardins at 2:10 PM on December 28, 2011


This guy is a bigger version of my boss at the cigar store. Fucking parasites, all of them. Casinos are just legal scams. They make their money by conning the greedy, foolish, and desperate. I have nothing against those who go to casinos for entertainment and bet only what they can afford to lose, but the business model as a whole is as nakedly predatory as they come. This man disgusts me.
posted by Scientist at 2:11 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


I have a tough time listening to people with money telling me that you don't need money to enjoy life.
posted by maxwelton at 2:11 PM on December 28, 2011 [15 favorites]


I ain't with a shorty so I guess I'm part of the hype. God damn it.
posted by iconomy at 2:14 PM on December 28, 2011 [5 favorites]


The town will never be the same. After the Tangiers, the big corporations took it all over. Today it looks like Disneyland. And while the kids play cardboard pirates, Mommy and Daddy drop the house payments and Junior's college money on the poker slots. In the old days, dealers knew your name, what you drank, what you played. Today, it's like checkin' into an airport. And if you order room service, you're lucky if you get it by Thursday. Today, it's all gone. You get a whale show up with four million in a suitcase, and some twenty-five-year-old hotel school kid is gonna want his Social Security Number. After the Teamsters got knocked out of the box, the corporations tore down practically every one of the old casinos. And where did the money come from to rebuild the pyramids? Junk bonds. But in the end, I wound up right back where I started. I could still pick winners, and I could still make money for all kinds of people back home. And why mess up a good thing?
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:15 PM on December 28, 2011 [9 favorites]


The biggest problem I foresee is that when we are looting his home all of his expensive stuff will suck.
posted by Meatbomb at 2:15 PM on December 28, 2011 [10 favorites]


It's not "Livin' the Life", it's "These are My Possessions and What My Money Buys". Pretending it's a message to inspire others just shows how delusional and out of touch he is.Unless of course his audience is other rich guys that aren't buying the right shit.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 2:17 PM on December 28, 2011


Living' the life of a casino executive.

"Is the money counted?"

"Yes."

"Correctly?"

"Well, I can always check again..."

"Great! Keep up the good work."
posted by BitterOldPunk at 2:18 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


And based on that video it would appear that the jet and expensive suits are more important than family if you want to live the life. I think he might be trying to convince himself more than others.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 2:18 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


Well fortunately it seems I am not living the life
posted by mattoxic at 2:20 PM on December 28, 2011


Because nothing says "living the life" like "Newark."
posted by evidenceofabsence at 2:30 PM on December 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


PIN STRIPE SUIT BITCHES UNGH
posted by phaedon at 2:32 PM on December 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


Looks like he belongs in a bathtub, overlooking a beach at sunset.
posted by davebush at 2:33 PM on December 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


They remade Bulworth. Cool.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:36 PM on December 28, 2011 [5 favorites]


So, this is some sort of a web episode of the Office that shows Michael Scott 20 years down the road?

Nah. I'm pretty sure this is a viral vid for an alt-universe Sopranos sequel.

As I understand it, the premise is that instead of driving his SUV off a cliff in a cloud of coke, Christopher gets clean, attends a series of self-help seminars, takes over the North Jersey mafia in Tony's retirement, and then finally has the freedom and power to force himself back into the movie business. Convinced this is his best route to making 3D features with an aging Michael Bay, Christopher starts shooting over-priced vanity videos for Tony's idle-rich, semi-retired chronies. This "Allen Samuels" is, I believe, a distant cousin of Paulie Walnuts. Not to worry - AJ shoots him dead on a meth binge early in Season 2.
posted by gompa at 2:36 PM on December 28, 2011


People! You're doing it all wrong! You're supposed to be livin de life, not the life.
posted by desjardins at 2:49 PM on December 28, 2011



People! You're doing it all wrong! You're supposed to be livin de life, not the life

des, if lived in the plural.
posted by KingEdRa at 2:53 PM on December 28, 2011 [4 favorites]


White men can' jump...and now we learn....they can't rap eitherl
posted by Postroad at 2:54 PM on December 28, 2011


You'd think that livin the life would involve some reading each day, too.
posted by anothermug at 2:58 PM on December 28, 2011


Invokes two Andys - Warhol and Kaufman.
posted by davebush at 3:03 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


He looks pretty stiff and botoxed.
posted by cman at 3:09 PM on December 28, 2011


I find this confusing and want no part of it.
posted by saturnine at 3:13 PM on December 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


The comparison upthread to Rebecca Black is a good one. As video production gets cheaper, this might be an expanding genre -- music videos with an uncanny combination of production value, tone deafness* and lack of irony. It's a mesmerizing combination.

* Yes, both kinds.
posted by Honorable John at 3:19 PM on December 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


"Casinos are just legal scams. They make their money by conning the greedy, foolish, and desperate.". Now just a pocket-pickin' minute there!... All the advertising I see for our local casino (Casino Lac Leamy, Gatineau, Quebec) always includes the little (REALLY little, often borderline invisible so tiny is the typeface) admonition, "Know Your Limit". So they're really good guys, OK? So back off already! (Sorry about that whooshin' sound you hear; it's just my neighbour Bob twiddling his thumbs waitin' for his December Old Age Security cheque to arrive so he can grab a cab over to Gatineau.)
posted by Mike D at 3:20 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


That white sweatshirt/ripped blue jeans combo is the Jerseyist thing ever.
posted by HeroZero at 3:27 PM on December 28, 2011


Gosh darn it. Jerseyest.

*grew up in NJ
*NOT JERSEYIST
posted by HeroZero at 3:28 PM on December 28, 2011


I'd tap that.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 3:28 PM on December 28, 2011


Why does embarrassing white-guy rap always sound like they're cribbing The Message, even in 2011?

Oh, the horror of borrowing from one of the best rap songs ever written.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 3:36 PM on December 28, 2011


Just imagine some space alien picking up this transmission. Imagine, I ask you.
posted by angrycat at 3:58 PM on December 28, 2011


TRAVELING!
posted by leetheflea at 4:02 PM on December 28, 2011


the CG smoke is just absurd
posted by radiosilents at 4:08 PM on December 28, 2011 [4 favorites]


Maybe it's because I still have some residual social anxiety from when I was younger, but that guy is so embarrassing that I could only manage to watch about half the video before I had to close the window. I can watch people do stupid or dumb shit all day long, but once it crosses over into them completely embarrassing themselves, it makes me feel really weird inside. It's kind of hard to explain.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 4:13 PM on December 28, 2011 [9 favorites]


As seen on Tosh.0! And we used to complain about crossposts from reddit..

I'm pretty sure "seen on Tosh.0" means it is a crosspost from reddit originally.
posted by inigo2 at 4:19 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


I didn't know The Fonz could rap!
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 4:19 PM on December 28, 2011


Have you ever noticed how much Jason Terry looks like Squidward?
posted by Devils Rancher at 4:28 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


I wonder if we'll ever see a time where everything doesn't suck balls.
posted by chronkite at 4:56 PM on December 28, 2011


I feel I am not so much living the life as undertaking a series of life-related exercises.
posted by Ritchie at 4:58 PM on December 28, 2011 [4 favorites]


This is so bad, I thought it was a College Humor-like troll, something like a "we are the 1%" anthem video.
posted by i less than three nsima at 4:59 PM on December 28, 2011


Lots of rap is basically this, unfortunately. Not the good stuff, but an unsettling amount. This guy just happens to be whiter and older.
posted by monkeymadness at 5:08 PM on December 28, 2011


All I can think of is Pierce from Community.
posted by molecicco at 5:15 PM on December 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


So this is basically the midlife crisis version of Rebecca Black's Friday?

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that this is not quite as bad as Friday.
posted by needs more cowbell at 5:16 PM on December 28, 2011


Man, Vegas is such a disgusting city. There's something to be said for the fact that the city literally breeds these sorts of individuals, people so fantastically shallow that you have to wonder if they ever look themselves in the mirror and whisper, "Seriously? This is who you are?"
posted by nixerman at 5:21 PM on December 28, 2011


No, no it is.

I did get a chuckle out of the T.W.I.S.M. chain reference at the end.
posted by cashman at 5:24 PM on December 28, 2011


Well, I am indeed living A life, so I guess that counts. Now what the hell is a "shorty"?
posted by Ron Thanagar at 5:31 PM on December 28, 2011


This seems like another obnoxious viral ad for Las Vegas and Atlantic City. Much like The Hangover or Bridesmaids, in that respect.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:34 PM on December 28, 2011


No, it is Kris Jenner (matriarch of the Kardashian clan) who has the adult Rebecca Black role on lock.
posted by damehex at 5:37 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


dear a samuels

you can buy the look, you can learn the moves, you can learn the rhythm and the accent, you can have the bling and the jets and the casually expensive look, you can buy just about any damn thing you want ...

... but you CAN'T BUY COOL, can you a samuels?

you poor, poor, pitiful striving wannabe, the life don't mean nothing if you're not cool
posted by pyramid termite at 5:50 PM on December 28, 2011


Never thought I'd appreciate the rap artistry of Dee Dee King... until now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5-G2_1Zj6c
posted by milnak at 5:53 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


I hate to say it, but this is the future of entertainment.
posted by phaedon at 6:00 PM on December 28, 2011


Also, LuAnn de Lesseps from Real Housewives NY already did this and will leave you wondering how in fuck's name talking passes for singing. (Click this if you want a one-two knockout punch.)
posted by phaedon at 6:09 PM on December 28, 2011


I hate to say it, but this is the future of entertainment.

If we were in the timeline with Biff Tannen's Pleasure Paradise maybe
posted by Challahtronix at 6:16 PM on December 28, 2011 [5 favorites]


LIVIN' THE LifE

At first, and last glance, that's what I thought it said
posted by the fish at 6:18 PM on December 28, 2011


It's stuff like this that make me want to see OWS mutate into a violent, cannibalistic flash mob.
posted by Mcable at 6:21 PM on December 28, 2011


>I mean, aside from him not really knowing what some of terminology means and him being old and white I don't see how this is much worse than, say Jay-Z.

I can't tell if you're kidding but I can definitely tell the difference between this guy and Jay-Z
posted by victors at 6:43 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


LuAnn de Lesseps from Real Housewives NY
What possessed me to click that? I don't even.
posted by Glinn at 8:08 PM on December 28, 2011


I'd like to see this guy hang out with the guy that runs Abercrombie and Fitch.
posted by iconomy at 8:09 PM on December 28, 2011 [3 favorites]


re: that LuAnn video linked above -- i love how even the autotuner is baffled at what notes she could possibly be shooting for
posted by radiosilents at 8:18 PM on December 28, 2011 [2 favorites]


What's "a shorty" in this context?
posted by adamt at 8:44 PM on December 28, 2011


The problem is not that he's old and white. The problem is that his lyrics are awful and repetitive and he has no rhythm, and he clearly has no idea.

Also a strong second to what MaryDellamorte said above - I lasted less than a minute before I was overcome with vicarious embarrassment.
posted by en forme de poire at 8:50 PM on December 28, 2011


The saddest part is that he's not even worthy of Vegas, he's from Atlantic City, which is the forgotten, bitter, run-down and possibly psychotic LaToya Jackson of gambling cities.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 10:08 PM on December 28, 2011 [1 favorite]


THIS IS STREETS AHEAD, PEOPLE.
posted by flippant at 1:39 AM on December 29, 2011


his french accent is shit. and he looks like greg norman's older, more insecure, brother.
posted by taff at 2:51 AM on December 29, 2011


My husband is 5'10"; is that outside the realm of being a "shorty"? What is the dividing line between "shorty" and... what, "tally"?
posted by xedrik at 12:12 PM on December 29, 2011


I remember when a shorty was a child, but then one day a shorty was a woman. I think with connotations of being attractive. Either way, unless they changed it again without asking me, your husband is outside of the shorty realm, and the guy rapping doesn't know what it means.
posted by cmoj at 1:45 PM on December 29, 2011


The real question is, how will this play in Iowa and New Hampshire?
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 8:41 PM on December 29, 2011


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