"Horse_ebooks’ voice carried through the trees and echoed into the night."
January 4, 2012 3:32 PM Subscribe
@Horse_ebooks is one of the most consistently awesome things on the Internet.
posted by defenestration at 4:43 PM on January 4, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by defenestration at 4:43 PM on January 4, 2012 [1 favorite]
The name made me a bit nervous, considering this is the internet and all, and it turns out my nervousness was not completely unfounded, but not really in a bad way... I guess...
posted by Huck500 at 4:55 PM on January 4, 2012
posted by Huck500 at 4:55 PM on January 4, 2012
it's a spambot that cuts off its sentences
haha i get it
how the fuck are we going to justify this decade to our kids
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 5:12 PM on January 4, 2012 [11 favorites]
haha i get it
how the fuck are we going to justify this decade to our kids
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 5:12 PM on January 4, 2012 [11 favorites]
haha you don't get it at all really
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:53 PM on January 4, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:53 PM on January 4, 2012 [4 favorites]
Greg Nog: As awesome as that is, I was really hoping for a horse_ebooks/Gertrude Stein mashup.
posted by SomaSoda at 6:00 PM on January 4, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by SomaSoda at 6:00 PM on January 4, 2012 [1 favorite]
You're really missing out if you're not obsessively following everything horse_ebooks says and interpreting every oblique tweet as directly meaningful and relevant to your own life. He even seems to have a distinct personality, obsessions and worries. Some hits from the past week or so:
Yes, sir. Representative Funk. That can be taken care of at the terminal
everyone else gets big slices of pie all over their faces?
The views of a lemon
When Zeppelins soar in the stillness of the night, and strike at invalids, infants, women; when the master catastrophe in all its ghastly
Dear Future
Where Do I Find Ghosts
BELIEVE IT IS YOUR INHERENT RIGHT
Even if the words, the fantasies, and the desire are all there, there s this awful policeman who is also there, alive
I have the problems
gate is closed, recommence singing until it opens
Pyramid Real
posted by naju at 6:03 PM on January 4, 2012 [4 favorites]
Yes, sir. Representative Funk. That can be taken care of at the terminal
everyone else gets big slices of pie all over their faces?
The views of a lemon
When Zeppelins soar in the stillness of the night, and strike at invalids, infants, women; when the master catastrophe in all its ghastly
Dear Future
Where Do I Find Ghosts
BELIEVE IT IS YOUR INHERENT RIGHT
Even if the words, the fantasies, and the desire are all there, there s this awful policeman who is also there, alive
I have the problems
gate is closed, recommence singing until it opens
Pyramid Real
posted by naju at 6:03 PM on January 4, 2012 [4 favorites]
@potomac avenue
i am suffering fatigue, excuse me
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 6:11 PM on January 4, 2012
i am suffering fatigue, excuse me
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 6:11 PM on January 4, 2012
“What is important in a tent?” Horse_ebooks asked Thomas as Rebecca wrapped her fingers into his silky mane. It wasn’t really a question, but sounded more like the start of a crude knock-knock joke.
Thomas hesitated. He didn’t want to play into this. He wanted to get the image of Horse_ebooks and Rebecca’s pie out of his mind. He wanted to go back and start the hike over and push the horse down the slippery river rocks and—-“What is important in a tent.” Horse_ebooks repeated, slower and more dangerously.
Thank you for this post. You have made me love the world again.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 6:13 PM on January 4, 2012 [1 favorite]
Thomas hesitated. He didn’t want to play into this. He wanted to get the image of Horse_ebooks and Rebecca’s pie out of his mind. He wanted to go back and start the hike over and push the horse down the slippery river rocks and—-“What is important in a tent.” Horse_ebooks repeated, slower and more dangerously.
Thank you for this post. You have made me love the world again.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 6:13 PM on January 4, 2012 [1 favorite]
Greg Nog: As awesome as that is, I was really hoping for a horse_ebooks/Gertrude Stein mashup.
This horse
This is horse
This horse is a horse
Of course this horse
Is uncomfortable with direct
Payments of Standard
Standards of Payment
Horse Standards
Fun!
Standing in a Field
Of Houses
Fly Horse
House fly
If I told you
Would You
Horse it against me
Against standards of direct
Uncomfortable
Werewolf Mayonnaise
Under the Field of Sun
The Son of the Horse
The Son of Picasso's Horse
Is the son of his father's son.
Hot horse flowers bloom
Broom the floors against
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:18 PM on January 4, 2012 [4 favorites]
This horse
This is horse
This horse is a horse
Of course this horse
Is uncomfortable with direct
Payments of Standard
Standards of Payment
Horse Standards
Fun!
Standing in a Field
Of Houses
Fly Horse
House fly
If I told you
Would You
Horse it against me
Against standards of direct
Uncomfortable
Werewolf Mayonnaise
Under the Field of Sun
The Son of the Horse
The Son of Picasso's Horse
Is the son of his father's son.
Hot horse flowers bloom
Broom the floors against
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:18 PM on January 4, 2012 [4 favorites]
Also horse_ebooks has permanently warped my concept of horses' inner thoughts and dialect.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 6:24 PM on January 4, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 6:24 PM on January 4, 2012 [1 favorite]
PAYING THE CAPTAIN
by Horse_Edson
We get on a boat, never mind if it sinks, we pay the captain by throwing him overboard. And when he gets back onboard we say, captain, please don't be angry. And he forgives us this time. And so we throw him overboard again just to make sure we have fully paid the price we have set upon our passage. When he gets back onboard he is not anxious to forgive us, and he would like it much better if we would get off his boat. There is nothing left for us to do but to repay him and hope that this time it will be enough. And so we throw him overboard again. When he comes aboard again we say, now this must be the last of this, we will pay no more, we want the journey to begin.
But it seems there will be no journey since we have gotten the captain used to a good thing. And so we must spend the rest of our days throwing the captain overboard. Horses horse horse Horses Horseys
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:32 PM on January 4, 2012 [1 favorite]
by Horse_Edson
We get on a boat, never mind if it sinks, we pay the captain by throwing him overboard. And when he gets back onboard we say, captain, please don't be angry. And he forgives us this time. And so we throw him overboard again just to make sure we have fully paid the price we have set upon our passage. When he gets back onboard he is not anxious to forgive us, and he would like it much better if we would get off his boat. There is nothing left for us to do but to repay him and hope that this time it will be enough. And so we throw him overboard again. When he comes aboard again we say, now this must be the last of this, we will pay no more, we want the journey to begin.
But it seems there will be no journey since we have gotten the captain used to a good thing. And so we must spend the rest of our days throwing the captain overboard. Horses horse horse Horses Horseys
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:32 PM on January 4, 2012 [1 favorite]
horse_ebooks is the only important thing on the internet
posted by a_girl_irl at 5:43 AM on January 5, 2012
posted by a_girl_irl at 5:43 AM on January 5, 2012
Academic disquisition of horse_ebooks. "Animals Saying Things On The Internet: Horse_Ebooks and Algorithmic Translation"
posted by naju at 2:16 PM on January 6, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by naju at 2:16 PM on January 6, 2012 [2 favorites]
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posted by 2bucksplus at 3:36 PM on January 4, 2012 [11 favorites]