Mommy is still angry at Daddy.
January 14, 2012 3:50 PM   Subscribe

 
Well, they mastered the locked-off shot.
posted by Ideefixe at 3:59 PM on January 14, 2012


To be fair, they're from the north so the best you can expect is about 60%.
posted by jimmythefish at 4:09 PM on January 14, 2012


This one nails it.
posted by jimmythefish at 4:12 PM on January 14, 2012 [3 favorites]


This is about how long I can bear to play side-scrollers, so I liked it!
posted by not_on_display at 4:14 PM on January 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


To be fair, they're from the north so the best you can expect is about 60%.

More like 98% nowadays
posted by edgeways at 4:37 PM on January 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


Kill Bill re-enacted in 30 seconds, with bunnies.

In Bun-O-Vision!
posted by the man of twists and turns at 4:45 PM on January 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm more of a fan of these:

Return of the King in 5 Seconds.

The Matrix in 5 seconds.
posted by charlie don't surf at 5:08 PM on January 14, 2012 [9 favorites]


That was much more awesome then I expected.
posted by delmoi at 5:17 PM on January 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


Definitely awesome. I like the subtle touch of the red scarves as blood.
posted by mannequito at 6:12 PM on January 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


Nicely done.
posted by starvingartist at 6:33 PM on January 14, 2012


The totally forgot the first act of revenge. What's her name, the woman played by Vivica Fox.
posted by stroke_count at 6:37 PM on January 14, 2012


The totally forgot the first act of revenge. What's her name, the woman played by Vivica Fox.

No, it's there. Right after the Lucy Liu part, just before the coffin. It's really short so easy to miss. Also, the actress playing Vivica A. Fox is white.
posted by mhum at 6:43 PM on January 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


The lioness has rejoined her cub and all is right in the jungle.
posted by Artw at 7:11 PM on January 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


Always thought the plot was a little lacking.
posted by mugsydean at 7:12 PM on January 14, 2012


— I need a sword!
— No! ... ... Okay.


Yeah, pretty much.
posted by nebulawindphone at 7:49 PM on January 14, 2012


I really like their Forrest Gump.
posted by MegoSteve at 8:44 PM on January 14, 2012 [3 favorites]


The Star Wars one is either really funny or really idiotic, perhaps both. I won't link to it because I shouldn't have laughed at it while sober.
posted by edgeways at 8:57 PM on January 14, 2012


Oh.. I just found this.

Kill Bill in 5 Seconds.

This one is pretty good too:

The Exorcist in 5 Seconds.
posted by charlie don't surf at 9:34 PM on January 14, 2012


Didn't miss a single nuance, unlike the shorter versions.
posted by philip-random at 10:13 PM on January 14, 2012


They did leave out Karen Kim, though, which for my money was maybe the best part of the whole saga.
posted by Navelgazer at 10:20 PM on January 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


I've always felt that the only proper way to enjoy Kill Bill is to watch both parts in one sitting, back-to-back.

So I approve of this.
posted by i_have_a_computer at 1:23 AM on January 15, 2012


Much better than the original.
posted by fuq at 12:08 PM on January 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


No, it's there. Right after the Lucy Liu part, just before the coffin.

Huh. I always thought the Bride killed Vernita before going to Okinawa, but...

Well, let's see. The Bride flies to Okinawa in Vol 1, at 0:45; the graphic shows her leaving from El Paso. The wedding rehearsal was in El Paso, so presumably she was hospitalized there, and presumably the flight to Okinawa is shortly after her escape from the hospital in Buck's Pussy Wagon. In Okinawa she gets the Hanzo sword; then she flies to Tokyo (Vol 1, 1:04) and kills O-Ren.

At the end of Vol 1 (1:42), we see the Bride making the Death List Five list. She's on a plane. She's got a sword, so it's after Okinawa, and it seems like the same plane as the one we see her arriving in Tokyo on at 1:04 (that scene with the plane rolling over Tokyo, intercut with O-Ren and entourage driving around looking cool, under the awesome music with the horn soloist). So it looks like she makes the Death List Five list on the flight from Okinawa to Tokyo (not on the flight from Tokyo back to the States, as the placement of this scene after the Tokyo sequence might hypothetically make somebody think — not me, of course, I was totally on top of this from the beginning, but you know, somebody).

Back to the start of Vol 1, when we see the Bride kill Vernita Green; after that, she leaves the house, goes out to the Pussy Wagon, and crosses Vernita off the list (at 0:15). She has the list, so it's after Okinawa; O-Ren is already crossed off, so it's even after Tokyo. (Continuity error: in this shot, and at 1:42 where the list is made, the names are in red ink, but when O-Ren's name is crossed off at 1:38, it's in black ink.)

So, okay, it's definitely the same order as in the posted video: escape from hospital, fly to Okinawa, get sword, fly to Tokyo, kill O-Ren, return to States, kill Vernita.

The reason I always thought she killed Vernita before going to Okinawa was that she's still driving the Pussy Wagon when she arrives at Vernita's house. But I guess that, after escaping from the hospital, she drives the Wagon to the airport in El Paso and leaves it in long-term parking, where nobody notices it because it's so nondescript. And besides, nobody's really looking for it, because its owner is just a homicide victim whose truck went missing from the scene. Anyway, after killing O-Ren, the Bride eschews any direct flight to California (there probably aren't any from a city as minor as Tokyo, to be fair) and instead flies back to the major airline hub in El Paso, picks up the Wagon, drives it the 1000km or so to Pasadena to kill Vernita (leaving her newly acquired Hanzo sword in the truck but being sure to take a 4-inch knife), then drives back to El Paso to go after Budd, only abandoning the Wagon when it dies on her (as she says in Vol 2, 1:25).

The Bride must really like that Pussy Wagon.
posted by stebulus at 1:33 PM on January 15, 2012 [8 favorites]


the awesome music with the horn soloist

which turns out to be the Green Hornet theme.
posted by stebulus at 2:09 PM on January 15, 2012


She hires a motorcycle which co-ordinates with her Bruce Lee style outfit and has it's own samurai sword holder - she's really into themed vehicles.
posted by Artw at 2:12 PM on January 15, 2012


I thought the leathers came with the bike. (She's not wearing them when she's walking through the airport on arrival in Tokyo, for example.) And I think in the Kill Bill universe, everything Japanese has a katana holder. (Besides the motorcycle, there also the airplane seats — and maybe the table where O-Ren and entourage eat in the House of Blue Leaves, though my memory is hazy here.)

But I take your point. The turquoise convertible in Vol 2 is also pretty stylin'.
posted by stebulus at 2:27 PM on January 15, 2012


think in the Kill Bill universe, everything Japanese has a katana holder.

Fair point, at least if you fly Samurai class.
posted by Artw at 2:29 PM on January 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


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