She is gone
February 14, 2012 1:34 PM Subscribe
She is gone. A Valentines story of love and loss.
Oh man. Wish I hadn't read that at work. Very sweet.
posted by Specklet at 1:40 PM on February 14, 2012
posted by Specklet at 1:40 PM on February 14, 2012
I'm not romantic, but really appreciated that. Thanks.
posted by Giggilituffin at 1:43 PM on February 14, 2012
posted by Giggilituffin at 1:43 PM on February 14, 2012
Maybe I'm just a cold-hearted bastard, but I couldn't help but thinking that last line about Paco singing to his dead wife was less sweet and more a sign of his rapidly declining mental health.
posted by deathpanels at 1:46 PM on February 14, 2012
posted by deathpanels at 1:46 PM on February 14, 2012
I live with the woman that I'm fairly certain I'll grow old with, and I do actually worry about how the other will handle it when one of us goes. I don't want to be the one left behind, but I don't want to do the leaving, if it means making her sad & lonely in her old age. We joke sometimes that we want to go like that old couple that Fastball wrote The Way about... We'll just drive off into oblivion together.
posted by Devils Rancher at 1:47 PM on February 14, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by Devils Rancher at 1:47 PM on February 14, 2012 [3 favorites]
How sad and beautiful all at once! Stories about real people are precious.
posted by tokidoki at 1:49 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by tokidoki at 1:49 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
Probably because I have a son who is of the age where he cries "MAMMAAAAAAAAAAAAA" at every perceived slight because he's learned that it gets results - the bit about the adult son jumping on the bed telling his mother that he loved her...
Just kicked me right in the heart with cleats, it did. Ufffffff.
posted by sonika at 1:55 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
Just kicked me right in the heart with cleats, it did. Ufffffff.
posted by sonika at 1:55 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
This is what I needed to find today. Thank you, ColdChef.
posted by Anitanola at 2:04 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Anitanola at 2:04 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
I was going to suggest Willie Nelson's "She Is Gone" as a soundtrack to reading the story, but having now read the piece myself I see that the two combined might be insurmountable.
posted by Ian A.T. at 2:23 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Ian A.T. at 2:23 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
And me here at work with no tissues. What a sad and lovely story.
posted by Fnarf at 2:35 PM on February 14, 2012
posted by Fnarf at 2:35 PM on February 14, 2012
GOD DAMN YOU
posted by El Sabor Asiatico at 2:38 PM on February 14, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by El Sabor Asiatico at 2:38 PM on February 14, 2012 [3 favorites]
My wife just admitted that the reason she wants me to eat less red meat and exercise more is that she wants to die before I do.
The reason I eat so much meat and smoke whenever someone had some good tobacco is that I don't want to be the survivor.
This is the most romantic thing we have told each other since we started dating.
posted by Ayn Rand and God at 2:42 PM on February 14, 2012 [6 favorites]
The reason I eat so much meat and smoke whenever someone had some good tobacco is that I don't want to be the survivor.
This is the most romantic thing we have told each other since we started dating.
posted by Ayn Rand and God at 2:42 PM on February 14, 2012 [6 favorites]
:-/
posted by tumid dahlia at 2:46 PM on February 14, 2012
posted by tumid dahlia at 2:46 PM on February 14, 2012
I lost my dad young so I've never not thought about which one of us would go first, me or my husband. I suspect me, because lifespans in my family average considerably shorter than in his, but who knows, really? There's always cancer, or the Hypothetical Bus, or what have you. I mostly hope when we go, in whatever order, that it doesn't involve too much pain or trauma.
But I know we're both driven to survive, like everyone is, and whoever's left will survive, and even feel happiness again if they have enough time for it. And that actually makes me feel good, the idea of one of us carrying around good memories of the other for as long as that one has left. Knowing that we loved as much as we could for as long as we could.
Anyway, this was beautiful, ColdChef, thank you.
posted by emjaybee at 2:56 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
But I know we're both driven to survive, like everyone is, and whoever's left will survive, and even feel happiness again if they have enough time for it. And that actually makes me feel good, the idea of one of us carrying around good memories of the other for as long as that one has left. Knowing that we loved as much as we could for as long as we could.
Anyway, this was beautiful, ColdChef, thank you.
posted by emjaybee at 2:56 PM on February 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
I have something in my eye.
CC, you mean ol softy.
posted by mwhybark at 3:08 PM on February 14, 2012
CC, you mean ol softy.
posted by mwhybark at 3:08 PM on February 14, 2012
Blast these damned interoffice dust storms!
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 3:16 PM on February 14, 2012
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 3:16 PM on February 14, 2012
Pro tip for open plan office workers who care about what other people think about their crying:
Keep a bottle of hot sauce on your desk. If someone catches you crying point at the bottle.
I keep a bottle of Holy Jolokia Hot Sauce. The more often I cry, the manlier I am perceived to be.
Other uses: A few drops of Holy Jolokia on the tongue will give you symptoms indistinguishable to a manager from a bad flu. If you are completely devoid of normal human emotions, different amounts of hot sauce can give you most of the involuntary signs of shame, anger and even grief; practice in front of a mirror the same as usual.
posted by Ayn Rand and God at 3:36 PM on February 14, 2012 [5 favorites]
Keep a bottle of hot sauce on your desk. If someone catches you crying point at the bottle.
I keep a bottle of Holy Jolokia Hot Sauce. The more often I cry, the manlier I am perceived to be.
Other uses: A few drops of Holy Jolokia on the tongue will give you symptoms indistinguishable to a manager from a bad flu. If you are completely devoid of normal human emotions, different amounts of hot sauce can give you most of the involuntary signs of shame, anger and even grief; practice in front of a mirror the same as usual.
posted by Ayn Rand and God at 3:36 PM on February 14, 2012 [5 favorites]
I saw the title and who posted it and said to myself..."damn you cold chef this is gonna make me cry"
And I was right. But what a beautiful story.
posted by ShawnString at 3:56 PM on February 14, 2012 [2 favorites]
And I was right. But what a beautiful story.
posted by ShawnString at 3:56 PM on February 14, 2012 [2 favorites]
I totally have the guts to read this! I do!
I've been telling myself this since roughly 4:35pm today.
posted by argonauta at 4:51 PM on February 14, 2012
I've been telling myself this since roughly 4:35pm today.
posted by argonauta at 4:51 PM on February 14, 2012
*blubbering*
Thank you. I will think of this when I warm my cold feet on mrgood's legs when we tuck in tonight.
posted by peagood at 5:40 PM on February 14, 2012
Thank you. I will think of this when I warm my cold feet on mrgood's legs when we tuck in tonight.
posted by peagood at 5:40 PM on February 14, 2012
Ah, fuck.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 5:43 PM on February 14, 2012
posted by The Hamms Bear at 5:43 PM on February 14, 2012
Whew. That got me. That site is a treasure trove of melancholy for the curious historian-at-heart. Thank you!
posted by pipoquinha at 9:40 PM on February 14, 2012
posted by pipoquinha at 9:40 PM on February 14, 2012
Damn, that hit me right where I live.
I couldn't help but thinking that last line about Paco singing to his dead wife was less sweet and more a sign of his rapidly declining mental health.
I doubt that; I find myself talking to my dead wife's picture every now and again. It's a natural thing to do if you're alone when you're so used to be together and have nobody else at hand to talk to.
posted by MartinWisse at 11:08 PM on February 14, 2012 [3 favorites]
I couldn't help but thinking that last line about Paco singing to his dead wife was less sweet and more a sign of his rapidly declining mental health.
I doubt that; I find myself talking to my dead wife's picture every now and again. It's a natural thing to do if you're alone when you're so used to be together and have nobody else at hand to talk to.
posted by MartinWisse at 11:08 PM on February 14, 2012 [3 favorites]
As the person left behind, yes. All of this, yes. And is singing to his wife any more crazy than me talking to my husband every evening once the kids are in bed? No. Grief is grief, how each person deals with it is how they deal with it.
posted by piearray at 3:11 AM on February 15, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by piearray at 3:11 AM on February 15, 2012 [3 favorites]
Tragic and wonderful.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 8:06 AM on February 15, 2012
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 8:06 AM on February 15, 2012
all of us have lost some one but for me the that is gone . it is gone.
posted by rafaelmontilla at 11:29 AM on February 15, 2012
posted by rafaelmontilla at 11:29 AM on February 15, 2012
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Thank goodness for a private office and a tissue for the tears.
posted by rewil at 1:39 PM on February 14, 2012 [6 favorites]