22 Ways of Looking At James Bond
February 15, 2012 4:19 AM   Subscribe

 
"Dr. Slo" amirite???

Cool - thank you
posted by rahnefan at 4:31 AM on February 15, 2012


Wow, totally syncs up with DSotM.
posted by klarck at 4:33 AM on February 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


I was of three minds,
Like a bed
In which there are two women and... oh, James!
posted by pracowity at 4:53 AM on February 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


Watching the first minute of the early Bond movies reminds me that I always intended to own a cat named Albert R. Broccoli. I gotta get on that.
posted by argonauta at 5:06 AM on February 15, 2012 [6 favorites]


Gee, you can see why they decided to only put them on one at a time, can't you.

Except for a View to a Kill, that one's better like this.
posted by Sutekh at 5:13 AM on February 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


I'd like to see the first minute of each film from the beginning of the intro music (i.e. all synced by the music).
posted by oddman at 5:25 AM on February 15, 2012 [3 favorites]


(Something) galore.
posted by punkfloyd at 5:27 AM on February 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


Man, I don't remember that awful Doctor No opening sequence at all.
posted by Brockles at 5:30 AM on February 15, 2012


The importance of the comma: "I'm just it in for the Money Penny.
posted by eriko at 5:33 AM on February 15, 2012


Awesomeness
posted by Monkeymoo at 5:36 AM on February 15, 2012


I was sad when they took out the shooting man bit from opening of the two newest Bond movies. Now that I see they replaced it with an extra long Columbia title, I'm even more sad.
posted by jermsplan at 6:08 AM on February 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


I'd like to see the first minute of each film from the beginning of the intro music

I have to agree - that or the lion's roar.

Right now they're all out of sync by however much black space the DVD creator put at the start...
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 6:10 AM on February 15, 2012


Dear Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios,

I would gladly send a shipping container full of bullion to your facility if you could reproduce the effect of this YouTube video on the 22 synchronized IMAX screens in my modest underwater base.

I am fully aware I could use my hired underlings to perform the task without your involvement, but the majority of the aforementioned minions still have difficulty adjusting the clock and gamma settings on the digital projection system.

I shall wait your for response within the next thirteen hours.
posted by Smart Dalek at 6:29 AM on February 15, 2012 [3 favorites]


I would have preferred that they were synced on the turn-and-shoot moment. Of course, the recent reboots lack that, as jermsplan noted, but it would have made more visual sense.
posted by IAmBroom at 7:06 AM on February 15, 2012


I shall wait your for response within the next thirteen hours.

Shouldn't there be an implied threat to encourage them? Perhaps that you will use laser to degrade the quality of their film plots until all they are is empty spectacle? No, wait... Perhaps you could use sound waves to program their executives to green light ludicrous and ill-considered scripts. No, wait... Perhaps you... could... OK, best to leave the threat implicit, with no details whatsoever.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:26 AM on February 15, 2012


The lack of turn-and-shoot is a big strike against the new movies. When they wise up and do retro Bond a la Mad Men, I hope they bring it back.
posted by immlass at 7:30 AM on February 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


Eh.
posted by cashman at 7:45 AM on February 15, 2012


Except for a View to a Kill, that one's better like this.

Look if you knew that there was a movie that featured Christopher Walken on the top of the Golden Gate Bridge fighting someone with a fire axe while tied to a blimp, you would want to watch that movie, wouldn't you?
posted by shakespeherian at 7:51 AM on February 15, 2012 [5 favorites]


I'd like to see the first minute of each film from the beginning of the intro music (i.e. all synced by the music).

All of the opening sequences to the first 16 James Bond films, synced up to the shot of the gun barrel. (Would have posted this to the front page but it's a friend's project.)
posted by murphy slaw at 7:59 AM on February 15, 2012 [8 favorites]


The lack of turn-and-shoot is a big strike against the new movies. When they wise up and do retro Bond a la Mad Men, I hope they bring it back.

I haven't seen Quantum of Solace, but Casino Royale has the turn-and-shoot. It's just slightly delayed.
posted by EmGeeJay at 8:02 AM on February 15, 2012


Surfing?
posted by stargell at 8:13 AM on February 15, 2012


I'd like to see a montage of every time a character says "double o" (no seven) for the whole series. Just "double o" over and over again.
posted by stinkycheese at 9:04 AM on February 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


I haven't seen Quantum of Solace, but Casino Royale has the turn-and-shoot. It's just slightly delayed .

You are right, and now that you mention it they may have it in QoS, which I saw once and found extremely forgettable. I really don't like the new Bond films at all. I'm glad they got rid of the cheese, but I'm just not sure Bond works as a concept in the 2000s.
posted by immlass at 9:38 AM on February 15, 2012


I'm confident that Javier Bardem in the role of villain will keep things interesting.
posted by stinkycheese at 9:43 AM on February 15, 2012


That said, QoS was utterly forgettable, I agree. A nadir and a huge disappointment after the exciting renaissance of Casino Royale. I maintain there's a good film there, but it needs re-editing; the action sequences in particular are indecipherable, even when played repeatedly in slo-mo.
posted by stinkycheese at 10:16 AM on February 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


Is that the one where they made up the plot as they went due to the writer's strike?
posted by smackfu at 10:23 AM on February 15, 2012


Indeed it is.
posted by stinkycheese at 10:43 AM on February 15, 2012


I'm just not sure Bond works as a concept in the 2000s.

1. Explosions.
2. Hot women in skimpy outfits.
3. Fist fights.
4. Car chases.
5. Lasers.
6. Explosions.

All of these things appealed to me at age 11 and continue to do so at age 31.
posted by Fizz at 10:52 AM on February 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


5. Lasers.
Problem is lasers are passé now; you can buy one for $2 in the check-out line. They've lost their mystique. Maybe that's why the Bond films have lost their way.

We need to get Q working on a replacement for lasers.

(And you forgot #7: bad puns. To me, it's not a Bond film without them.)
posted by fings at 11:13 AM on February 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


Lasers and bad puns. That puts me in mind of Die Another Day's Mr. Kill and perhaps the series' worst ever set-up of such verbal groanery, where the dude just walks up to Bond and says, "my name is Mr. Kill". I think I slapped my forehead in the theatre the first time I saw that.

Bond's response, "well, there's a name to die for" is the icing on the crappy cake.
posted by stinkycheese at 11:37 AM on February 15, 2012


Whoops. Die Another Day's Mr. Kill
posted by stinkycheese at 11:38 AM on February 15, 2012


I had emailed the above linked video to my girlfriend as a bare, contextless, youtube link, email subject line "Because I know You're Into Bondage".
posted by radwolf76 at 12:06 PM on February 15, 2012


So, I am the only one who sees absolutely no point in this whatsoever?

Ya, a lot of them start the same--it's a franchise. I would hope that most of them start the same with some variance here and there just for the sake of variance. I do the same thing with family home movies, but I don't make a big deal out of it.
posted by TinWhistle at 12:09 PM on February 15, 2012


Stuntman Bob Simmons is in the gunbarrel scene in Dr. No, From Russia with Love, and Goldfinger, making him the first person to appear onscreen as James Bond in the official Eon Productions movies. (The first person to appear onscreen as James Bond was Barry Nelson--as "Jimmy Bond"--in a 1954 TV movie of Casino Royale.)

The lack of turn-and-shoot is a big strike against the new movies.

Quantum of Solace has this scene at the end.
posted by kirkaracha at 2:03 PM on February 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ya, a lot of them start the same--it's a franchise.

That was my point: the lack of interest in the signature graphic reflects the lack of getting it (or caring about it) where the franchise is concerned. Updating Bond, who as a character concept makes very little sense in not just a post-Cold-War world, but one where the sun set on the British empire getting toward 50 years ago, so he works in 2011 requires more thinking than ought to be put into a Bond movie.
posted by immlass at 2:21 PM on February 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh, I don't know. I thought Goldeneye was a pretty interesting take on the breakdown of the USSR and the end of the Cold War (other than the Marines basically swinging in at the last second to save the day).
posted by stinkycheese at 2:34 PM on February 15, 2012


All of the opening sequences to the first 16 James Bond films, synced up to the shot of the gun barrel.

Although you could view this as a synced up array of Bond intros, equally you could view this as Bond's final dying thoughts, probably in a nursing home somewhere in the depths of Sussex.
posted by specialbrew at 12:22 AM on February 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


RETRO BOND À LA MAD MEN!
RETRO BOND À LA MAD MEN!
RETRO BOND À LA MAD MEN!
posted by Tom-B at 5:30 PM on February 18, 2012


I'd like to see a montage of every time a character says "double o" (no seven) for the whole series. Just "double o" over and over again.

AND SO YOU SHALL!

(Courtesy of my friend akbar who also did this.)
posted by murphy slaw at 7:14 PM on February 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


^ I urge everyone reading this to click *this* link. It's pretty transcendental stuff.
posted by stinkycheese at 11:22 PM on February 25, 2012


AND SO YOU SHALL, I mean.
posted by stinkycheese at 11:23 PM on February 25, 2012


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