No other player has swung at more first pitches on a rainy Tuesday in the past 3.7 years.
March 5, 2012 5:32 PM   Subscribe

This is a clip of Tim Kurkjian, a major league baseball analyst known for his citation of obscure statistics and unorthodox sources. These are clips of baseball players imitating Tim Kurkjian, plus ensuing hilarity. [via]
posted by googly (17 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
I miss Harry Caray if this is all we've got in the way of quirky baseball personalities.
posted by cmoj at 5:44 PM on March 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Terry Francona is so completely channeling the golden age of pro-wrestling in his commentary style... he may as well be talking about Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat instead of a minor league prospect in his ESPN appearances.

Also, anyone who'd worked the graveyard shift will instantly recognize Kurkjian's voice, as local programming signs off around 11:00, and the franchised ESPN night-time show take over the sports-talk shows. All summer long, his every-hour-on-the-hour canned soundbites ruled the airwaves.
posted by Slap*Happy at 5:44 PM on March 5, 2012

He seems.. pretty normal. Not like CUTMAN or anything.
posted by curious nu at 6:23 PM on March 5, 2012 [3 favorites]

I worked with Tim when I was at CNN and he was still with Sports Illustrated (hence, we were all part of the evil AOL-Time Warner empire). Incredibly smart, nice guy...but he hangs up the phone at the end of an interview faster than anyone I've met in my life. Despite our best efforts, about half the time when we had him on for a live "phoner" the interview would end with him loudly hanging up the phone.
posted by haley_joel_osteen at 6:33 PM on March 5, 2012 [3 favorites]

I'm always impressed by people who can do imitations without cracking up in the middle of them, especially when everyone around them can't keep a straight face. Thanks for these!
posted by small_ruminant at 6:44 PM on March 5, 2012

The third one, Pete Ruiz, was the most dead-on.

I like that Kurkjian has such a good sense of humor about these.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 7:09 PM on March 5, 2012

Boom go the obscure stats!
posted by obscurator at 7:43 PM on March 5, 2012

Growing up, every kid I knew had a Marv Albert imitation and a Phil Rizzuto one. Marv, you had to be able to say Yeeesssss, and it counts! while Phil you had to talk about getting across the GW Bridge before the traffic. Tim has such a distinctive nasal voice and a love for obscure stats that it makes him easy to do. I love his love for baseball!!
posted by JohnnyGunn at 8:21 PM on March 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

I miss Harry Caray if this is all we've got in the way of quirky baseball personalities.

I miss him anyway, and we still have Vin.
posted by Brocktoon at 9:08 PM on March 5, 2012

Tito is gonna get another gig with an underdog team in a year or two, and completely rock the MLB. Absolutely upset the cosmic order. Pirates or Padres in the '14 World Series. Believe it.

I don't know of many Boston fans who were at all happy that he and Theo left. Everyone knows that the molly-coddling of star players came from ownership, as did the "big time" trades.

On the other hand, if there's one manager who can get both players and management to behave, it's Boby Valentine.
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:10 PM on March 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Tim Kurkjian: "Are we going to do this wherever we go?"

John Kruk: "I hope so!"
posted by MegoSteve at 3:47 AM on March 6, 2012

And they say baseball is boring.
posted by chavenet at 5:09 AM on March 6, 2012

That's funnier than shit. Plus, JOHN KRUK! Hell, John Kruk is my favorite former baseball player, if not only for ducking when Randy Johnson threw to him at the all-star game. There are many more reasons to love John Kruk, but that one ranks up there...
posted by Eekacat at 12:56 PM on March 6, 2012

'In games on Astroturf, played on Tuesdays after 7 p.m., he led the minor leagues in batting average against...'

AWESOME. I love jokes about obscure baseball stats. And JP Arencibia's physical comedy was dead on!
posted by jsr1138 at 2:47 PM on March 6, 2012

Video of the Kruk Duck (because it really is very funny, although better without the VH-1 style talking heads)
posted by cyphill at 9:36 PM on March 6, 2012

Why wouldn't Johnson admit to doing it on purpose? I realize it's illegal to purposefully hit someone, but it's not illegal to throw so as to walk someone... what's the difference?
posted by cmoj at 6:26 AM on March 7, 2012

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