If only it were this quick.
March 14, 2012 5:35 AM   Subscribe

A short and sweet pregnancy [slyt] The impending arrival of a baby inspired this happy couple to track their pregnancy in a short time-lapse video.
posted by gaspode (75 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
 
A short and sweet [slyt] The impending arrival of a pizza inspired this single man to track his dinner in a short time-lapse video.

"Dude, no one wants to see that shit. Take it down."

*Removes video from youtube.*
posted by Fizz at 5:45 AM on March 14, 2012 [4 favorites]


So that's where babies come from!
posted by beagle at 5:45 AM on March 14, 2012


Man, if only birth was always that easy.
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 5:45 AM on March 14, 2012


My pregnancy was EXACTLY! like that. In that I always had my hair pulled back.
posted by sonika at 5:55 AM on March 14, 2012 [10 favorites]


So happy they shared that extremely under-documented phenomenon of human pregnancy.
posted by davebush at 6:10 AM on March 14, 2012 [13 favorites]


So they moved from Japan back to...France? Cute video, if a wee bit too precious.
posted by zardoz at 6:15 AM on March 14, 2012


So happy they shared that extremely under-documented phenomenon of human pregnancy.

Yes! Also, why don't these new parents ever want to talk about the kids?
posted by rain at 6:18 AM on March 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


"A short and sweet [slyt] The impending arrival of a pizza inspired this single man to track his dinner in a short time-lapse video."
posted by Fizz

Er, I think those kind of videos are on xhamster.

Also, sorry Fizz, honestly, I am not stalking you on Mefi!
posted by marienbad at 6:30 AM on March 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


Cute. Although how she was so small and had a fairly large baby is beyond me. I had a 6lber and I was HUGE.
posted by stormpooper at 6:48 AM on March 14, 2012


I see they doubled down on the painfully twee names.
posted by mullacc at 7:01 AM on March 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


Cute. Although how she was so small and had a fairly large baby is beyond me. I had a 6lber and I was HUGE.

When my friends and I get drunk, we frequently have this conversation. Only we talk about #2's.
posted by Fizz at 7:02 AM on March 14, 2012


Hate on it all you want, but we don't have a bun in the oven nor have we moved. Yet there's no way my wife and I could have it together enough to shoot a picture a day and then assemble it into a twee video while watching over a newborn.

Not to mention there's no way I'd let you have photo evidence of what any room of our house has looked like over the last year.
posted by phearlez at 7:18 AM on March 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


Alright so I don't have kids and never want them (I'm young... but also pretty stubborn) and don't care much about pregnancy stuff in general, but man Metafilter you can be such a drag sometimes. The link was pretty easy to avoid if you don't like this sort of stuff. I've never thought of either of those names as 'twee' but at least one person on the internet will have always have that criticism, I guess.

It was a cute video and a nice little introduction for their daughter. I mean in my day all we had was photographs and my parents took a shit-ton of those. I actually really liked how the dad was hamming it up. Thanks for sharing it. :)
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 7:22 AM on March 14, 2012 [13 favorites]


The human body is an amazing thing and to see it growing life and changing shape to do so is incredible. There's an actual person growing in there!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:23 AM on March 14, 2012 [3 favorites]


I've never understood who wants to watch this stuff besides (perhaps) grandma and grandpa, and even then, watching your daughter's belly get ginormous seems kind of weird. Then again I don't have a baby.
posted by desjardins at 7:31 AM on March 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


So happy they shared that extremely under-documented phenomenon of human pregnancy.

Oh come on! I've one of the most cynical here. You can't color me jaded because I was born jade! Kermit even wrote a song about how it's hard to be me! I thought this cider was cute (if you turned the volume off). I think this is a perfect way to share the impending birth with your friends and family! (I kept thinking of Jiffy Pop and want popcorn for breakfast now.)


The other day I was checking out the new JCPenny's and we walk by a couple that is showing another couple the successful product of there fornication, and the second couple says, "What's her name?" The dad proudly says, "Kenly." So as we pass, I sing, "Libu dibu douchoo." Then when I got him I googled to see if people do actually call babies "Keny" (ones they love I mean) and the first hit is Friendly Kenly, North Carolina. Do you know what the kids at school will be calling her? You might as well have named your child Candy.

I say, see how much you can make fun of the name yourself before you put your child out there into the world. Break down the phonetics, see what it rhymes with, see what horrible puns can be made, and then avoid those if you don't want to see your child crying a lot. In short, Amelie Amaya?
posted by cjorgensen at 7:32 AM on March 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


Well obviously lots of people in this thread want to watch this stuff, but I don't get why. It seems intensely personal to me.
posted by desjardins at 7:32 AM on March 14, 2012


Well obviously lots of people in this thread want to watch this stuff, but I don't get why. It seems intensely personal to me.

Because it's there.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 7:35 AM on March 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


That is NOT how babies are born.
Cute video though.
posted by SLC Mom at 7:35 AM on March 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


It was cute and sweet. I tend to roll my eyes at baby photos, but this was fine. More something that you'd email to grandma, though, rather than expect to see being cynic-erated on metafilter.
posted by Forktine at 7:38 AM on March 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


Well, *I* liked it, and I'm as big a jerk as any of you, so I don't know what the problem is.
posted by bicyclefish at 7:42 AM on March 14, 2012 [3 favorites]


Yeah, it's all twee music and smiles and laughs at the beginning, isn't it?

I can't wait to see their time-lapse movie that documents when Amelie won't sleep and they feel like they're literally losing their minds due to exhaustion.

But then I might be projecting.
posted by papercake at 7:43 AM on March 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


Well obviously lots of people in this thread want to watch this stuff, but I don't get why. It seems intensely personal to me.

If it was just the time-lapse of her embiggening I wouldn't care either, but this was a cute little video project and good storytelling. I'd say it was superior to 90 minute variations on the same story that Hollywood barfs up a few times a year.
posted by phearlez at 7:43 AM on March 14, 2012 [7 favorites]


Holy crap, I went to double-check the length of that thing (after my Hollywood carping) and YouTube identifies it as having been posted 7 hours ago... and having 4.5M views.

Too bad for those of you who didn't care for it, it's gonna be forwarded to you a few dozen times over the next month.
posted by phearlez at 7:47 AM on March 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


yep, phearlez sums up why I posted it. If it was just a belly getting bigger, that would be whatever, but I thought it actually told a nice little story.
posted by gaspode at 7:48 AM on March 14, 2012


Too bad for those of you who didn't care for it, it's gonna be forwarded to you a few dozen times over the next month.

That's the worst. We here at Metafilter tend to see these things first, and then 3 months later (which might as well be 3 years in internet meme land), Aunt Bertha sends an e-mail, OMG DID YOU SEE THIS CUTE VIDEO OF A COUPLE DANCING DOWN THE AISLE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0??!?!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:50 AM on March 14, 2012


This would have been better if they had strapped her down to a hospital bed and shot a few frames every night while she thrashed around and got bigger, then finally have the baby come out of her like a cannon ball (possible CGI needed there).
posted by biffa at 8:09 AM on March 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


One of the upsides of being an old fuck is that I'll be dead before I'm forced to interact with the products of the Stupid Hipster Baby Name Boom.

Cute video though.
posted by Optamystic at 8:40 AM on March 14, 2012


Cute. Bud if they had spent one third of the time keeping house that they did shooting video, their house wouldn't look like a bomb went off.
posted by Uncle Grumpy at 8:45 AM on March 14, 2012


Yes, that's the point of the video.
posted by maryr at 8:54 AM on March 14, 2012


Yay, happiness! Bring it on, cute pregnancy video with happy couple (and your stretching tattoos) and messy house with the shoes dancing about on the floor. And yes to thrilled parents everywhere who enjoy their kids, may every kid have parents this overjoyed to have them.
posted by chapps at 8:54 AM on March 14, 2012 [13 favorites]


I tried to show a similar video to my sister inlaw when she was pregnant, but she was, "I can't watch that, it's too scay!" "What?" "I fear my baby might pop out and I burst..."

The human body is an amazing thing and to see it growing life and changing shape to do so is incredible. There's an actual person growing in there!

The wombling stirs in its lair...waxing with the days...quickening, ever quickening...
posted by Jehan at 9:01 AM on March 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


Hey, I did something like this, with my wife's pregnancy! We stuck her hair under a hat (because we knew she planned to cut it about halfway through) and I took a picture of her in the same spot and the same clothes once a week.

It was fun, but it didn't turn out nearly as well as this youtube video. Those people put a lot of effort into that.
posted by gurple at 9:09 AM on March 14, 2012


Soon, they will need the vocal stylings of Samuel L. Jackson (NSFW), as their twee optimism and creativity blackens and curls into light headed rage sleep-deprived attempts to fumble open a bottle of nyquil, benadryl, anything to help me sleep. what did you say? why whont you admit you were just speaking?? I'm tired of YOU GIVING ME THOSe LOOKS!1 LOOK YOU'Ve woken IT up. NO!! YOUR turn!
posted by reverend cuttle at 9:12 AM on March 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


I am about as far from OMGBABEEZ as anyone, but that was really cute and made me happy and I like that they did this SO THERE.
posted by psoas at 9:13 AM on March 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


Great, now I bet they're well on their way into their next time lapse. Hey Amelie stand still for your daily picture! In only 8,000 days we'll have our next YouTube video!
posted by ReeMonster at 9:26 AM on March 14, 2012


That would be *amazing* actually.
posted by maryr at 9:48 AM on March 14, 2012


Still waiting for the Alien chestburster to emerge.
posted by delfin at 9:59 AM on March 14, 2012


I like the concept but I got weirded out when the dad was making out with the mom's stomach at the end.
posted by amro at 10:02 AM on March 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


I have two teen-age daughters...so I've enjoyed watching the developments. Even though I have a couple of tattoos from nearly 40 years ago, I was distracted in this video by the mom's unremarkable ink.
posted by rmmcclay at 10:19 AM on March 14, 2012


That was a sweet video. So there!
posted by Harald74 at 10:29 AM on March 14, 2012


Aw, I can't take the cynicism. That was amazing, and also adorable. Thanks for sharing it!
posted by quincunx at 10:30 AM on March 14, 2012


That was a sweet video. So there!

High five!
posted by quincunx at 10:30 AM on March 14, 2012


It is sweet.

One of the things I like about youtube videos is that they are a rich dataset of what people's houses actually look like on any given day. Sure, it's fun to see the babies and the dogs and the cats, but I also always like the voyeuristic peek into the mess and decor.
posted by not that girl at 10:39 AM on March 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


cjorgensen: " I say, see how much you can make fun of the name yourself before you put your child out there into the world. Break down the phonetics, see what it rhymes with, see what horrible puns can be made, and then avoid those if you don't want to see your child crying a lot. In short, Amelie Amaya?"

Baby's Named A Bad, Bad Thing. They have a forum.
Q: What should I name my kids?
A: I can’t give you the perfect name. I’m much better at cursing the darkness, anyway. But here are a few tips I’ve gleaned from digging around bulletin boards, books, and the tons of e-mails I get from readers:

* Generally avoid nouns. You’re asking for trouble.
* Do a Google search for your name ideas. If all you get are porn sites, white supremacist groups and pictures of My Little Ponies – it’s a bad name.
* Look at lists of the most popular baby names for the last three years. Steer clear of the top 10, and definitely steer clear of any names that suddenly jump from #150 to #25.
* No celebrity names. Your kids will immediately hate this celebrity, and be horribly embarrassed forever.
* If you like a common name, but don’t like how it’s spelled, tough. Either use the usual spelling, or find a new name. Andrywe is NOT a name. If people can’t get it right on the second try, it’s not worth the hassle.
* Most Americans are assimilated cultural mutts, without much connection to their ancestry. If you want to reconnect with your heritage, go to the library. Do not name your kid Bronwyn and think you are now in touch with your 1/16 Welsh side.
* A stupid sounding name is still a stupid sounding name even if its meaning is “beloved queen” or something else nice.
* Do not name your kid with elementary school bullies in mind. If it isn’t incredibly obvious (Gaylord, Fartoff), they’re going to get that little bit teased like the rest of us were, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
* Try these on for size: “Thank you, Mr. Chairman. I’d like to introduce you to the new CEO of MultiGlobal Corp., [blank blank]” or “Also on the presidential panel is MIT’s chief biochemical researcher, Dr. [blank blank].
* Assuming your child will live to age 70, s/he will spend 16% of their life as a child, 10% of their life as teenagers and 14% as senior citizens. The remaining 60% of their lives they will be adults. Plan accordingly.

posted by zarq at 11:00 AM on March 14, 2012 [5 favorites]


That was so sweet that all my teeth rotted out and I got the diabeetus!

No, seriously, it was adorable, and I'm a little envious of that little girl. There's proof right out on the internet for the whole universe to see that she was anticipated with love and joy, and that's an awesome thing.
posted by MissySedai at 11:24 AM on March 14, 2012 [4 favorites]




No celebrity names.

I nearly escaped being named Brooke, who wasn't a celebrity at the time (she was 9 when I was born) but she was by the time I started school.
posted by desjardins at 11:32 AM on March 14, 2012


So happy they shared that extremely under-documented phenomenon of human pregnancy.

Seriously, why would people want to talk about *actual life* when they could come on here and discuss Facebook's privacy settings and the role of female characters in comic books.
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 11:40 AM on March 14, 2012 [4 favorites]


Do not name your kid Bronwyn and think you are now in touch with your 1/16 Welsh side.

I just don't see a problem with naming kids after cool mythological women. Better than the 10,000,000th little girl with the name of a martyred Christian saint.
posted by small_ruminant at 11:43 AM on March 14, 2012 [3 favorites]


"MIT’s chief biochemical researcher, Dr. Amelie Amaya Smith" doesn't sound that off beat to me. In fact, it sounds like any number of professors I have met.

If globocorp is for ever chaired by CEO Ron Johnson, however, I will not be surprised. or care.
posted by chapps at 11:49 AM on March 14, 2012


if they had spent one third of the time keeping house that they did shooting video, their house wouldn't look like a bomb went off.

Their housekeeping standards are different than mine! GRAR!!
posted by asnider at 12:09 PM on March 14, 2012 [3 favorites]


"MIT’s chief biochemical researcher, Dr. Amelie Amaya Smith" doesn't sound that off beat to me. In fact, it sounds like any number of professors I have met.

And how many people really use their middle name all the time? "Dr. Amelie Smith" isn't crazy at all.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:11 PM on March 14, 2012


Stuff like this makes me feel so guilty.

I'm 5.5 months pregnant with our first and only kid (I'm 41, for god's sake), and we haven't taken one picture (belly or otherwise), I haven't read one baby-panic book, I haven't "journaled" about my pregnancy, we don't talk to the baby or make her listen to Mozart thru my belly....am I horrible? Am I going to raise a monster?

And, OMG I just realized - I haven't even posted about it to FACEBOOK I AM GOING TO RAISE A SOCIOPATH.......
posted by tristeza at 12:32 PM on March 14, 2012 [4 favorites]


small_ruminant: " I just don't see a problem with naming kids after cool mythological women. Better than the 10,000,000th little girl with the name of a martyred Christian saint."

Heh. My kids both have what would be considered basic, classic Old Testament names and people still can't spell them correctly.
posted by zarq at 12:46 PM on March 14, 2012


tristeza: " I'm 5.5 months pregnant with our first and only kid (I'm 41, for god's sake),

Congratulations!

...am I horrible? Am I going to raise a monster? "

We didn't do any of that stuff either. Your kids can join mine doing their Scary Monster impressions. ;)

(Actually, I did take one set of photos of my wife's (clothed) belly at the end of the pregnancy and was threatened with bodily harm and death if I posted them online.)
posted by zarq at 12:56 PM on March 14, 2012


we haven't taken one picture (belly or otherwise), I haven't read one baby-panic book, I haven't "journaled" about my pregnancy, we don't talk to the baby or make her listen to Mozart thru my belly....am I horrible?

You guys are my kind of people.
posted by davebush at 1:03 PM on March 14, 2012


I saw this when it was on Jezebel a few days ago, and found the ending (the kiss that... results in a baby?) to be kind of viscerally disturbing.
posted by c'mon sea legs at 1:41 PM on March 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


Wasn't there a scene in Twilight where a character sucks a baby out of his partner's belly? Not that I read the books or saw the movie (seriously, I didn't).
posted by desjardins at 1:45 PM on March 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm skeptical about the biological accuracy of this video.
posted by asnider at 2:21 PM on March 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


Hey Amelie stand still for your daily picture! In only 8,000 days we'll have our next YouTube video!

There was a short story in the book Mirror Shades where this is a major plot point. Dude made a time lapse model of his daughter so you could watch her growing up. They didn't call it "going viral" back then (I don't think), but in the story that's what happens.

If I remember correctly thing did not work out well for the characters involved.
posted by cjorgensen at 2:41 PM on March 14, 2012


when you play mozart to a baby the baby's like FUCK YOU I LIKE BRAHMS so you're coming out ahead. JMHO.

I tried to get my kid to like Bach. I played the Bach cello suites over and over again while preggers and while nursing in the newborn days to try and establish a "calming" cue. No dice.

First time the kid heard Schubert? He literally sighed with delight and went silent.

What I learned from this: Don't try. Dude will let you know what he likes.
posted by sonika at 2:41 PM on March 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


Heh. My kids both have what would be considered basic, classic Old Testament names and people still can't spell them correctly.

Naming my son taught me that you can't win. My son's name is Paulo - which is a very, VERY common Portuguese name. In conjunction with our last name, in Portugal his name is the equivalent of "Paulo Smith" in the US. It's THAT common.

But. We don't live in Portugal. So, we did our best to honor my husband's roots (dude's Portuguese as in born-and-raised) and find a name that Americans could pronounce.

Except that they can't. At all.

"What's your son's name?"

"Paulo." (pronounced POW-lo)

"What?"

"Paulo."

"Pow..."

"Paulo."

"Pablo?"

"Paulo."

"That's different."

EVERY. TIME.

Might as well just gone whole hog and named him João. Unless you name your kid Ben or Dan, it seriously doesn't matter - no one gets it.
posted by sonika at 2:45 PM on March 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


* equivalent of PAUL Smith in the US. Duh.
posted by sonika at 2:45 PM on March 14, 2012


Done even cuter (IMO) by another couple, circa 2009. yt

So that is how babby is formed!
posted by asnider at 3:02 PM on March 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


My last name is apparently an impenetrable mystery despite being the name of a very prominent Bible character + "son"

I guess I'll drop the "you know, like in the Bible?" for "Like Newton. Or Asimov. Okay, how about Hayes. Mizrahi??"

It's not my parents' fault, though; I married the guy.
posted by desjardins at 3:48 PM on March 14, 2012


> "I'm 5.5 months pregnant with our first and only kid (I'm 41, for god's sake), and we haven't taken one picture (belly or otherwise), I haven't read one baby-panic book, I haven't "journaled" about my pregnancy, we don't talk to the baby or make her listen to Mozart thru my belly....am I horrible? Am I going to raise a monster? "

I'm 21 weeks with my first, and I haven't done anything like that either. In fact, all I've done is listen to Die Antwoord, watched a million episodes of Toddlers & Tiaras, bitched on Twitter about how shitty and weird everything is, and already got sick to my bones of my mother in law being CRAZY about the name we finally decided on after discarding every other name in the English language (who knew Henry was so objectional?). I can't be bothered to go to a birthing class, I can't be bothered to set up a registry (probably will in the end though), and I really can't be bothered to worry about doing anything wrong.

So I watched this video and hated the twee! And then wanted to cry when I saw the baby. But then I also cried the other morning listening to an NPR report about the Girl Scouts being awesome. I don't honestly understand the strange and slightly abusive culture that surrounds pregnancy. I mostly want to eat and be left alone. I'm certainly not taking photos of my body in order to please people on Facebook for five seconds in their boring day.
posted by saturnine at 6:43 PM on March 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


I appreciate the part where, at the end, he sucks (blows?) on her bellybutton and the baby pops out. I was never sure how that worked before. And I thought you hadda clean 'em up a bit.
posted by cookie-k at 8:10 AM on March 15, 2012


Just met a baby named Odin.

Sure, cute name... until he gets an eye poked out!
posted by IAmBroom at 8:39 AM on March 15, 2012


I tried to get my kid to like Bach. I played the Bach cello suites over and over again while preggers and while nursing in the newborn days to try and establish a "calming" cue. No dice.

First time the kid heard Schubert? He literally sighed with delight and went silent.


sonika, maybe he was all like, "That was so last-trimester! I'm totes over Bach now."
posted by IAmBroom at 8:40 AM on March 15, 2012


My kids both have what would be considered basic, classic Old Testament names and people still can't spell them correctly.

OK, my name is Mary and people spell it wrong. For reals. You can't get much more common, everyday, boring than that.

(My last name is also incredibly boring and straightforward and I've had people mess that up too, though that's usually more misunderstanding than spelling).
posted by maryr at 8:57 AM on March 15, 2012


Almost everyone knows how to spell Jennifer, so I lucked out there.
posted by desjardins at 9:16 AM on March 15, 2012


Plus, Jenny, I got your number.
posted by maryr at 9:58 AM on March 15, 2012


Just met a baby named Odin.

Sure, cute name... until he gets an eye poked out!


And then the bird seed bills! Do you know how expensive sunflower seed is???
posted by phearlez at 10:05 AM on March 15, 2012


Years ago, I asked my mother if she had any photos of herself pregnant, and it turned out that she didn't, because apparently having their picture taken is bad luck for pregnant women. Or perhaps my siblings and I were really just adopted, and my mother has been concealing it from us all along.

Just met a baby named Odin.

I bet the parents went with the name so they can solemnly pronounce daily that he has gone into Odinsleep. I know I would.
posted by Wonton Cruelty at 1:44 AM on March 16, 2012 [1 favorite]


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