A Day In The Life
March 25, 2012 2:13 PM   Subscribe

24 hours with designer Karl Lagerfeld "I don't like hot drinks, very strange. I drink Diet Coke from the minute I get up to the minute I go to bed. I can even drink it in the middle of the night, and I can sleep." posted by insectosaurus (68 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
 
World's chicest hoarder?
posted by acidic at 2:30 PM on March 25, 2012


the people I was going out with are dead or don't exist anymore.

Um... ?
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 2:31 PM on March 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


I drink between 6 and 8 oz. of diet coke first thing every morning and here is what it says on my handy can:

caramel color
aspartame
phosphoric acid
potassium benzoate
natural flavors
citric acid
caffeine.

6-8 oz. daily is probably close to benign but I don't think I would care to push it a lot further than that. I discard between 1/3 and 1/2 a can of diet coke every morning because that shit cannot possibly not be bad for you if you drink enough of it.
posted by bukvich at 2:31 PM on March 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Must be lonely on whatever plane of existence this guy is currently slowly dying on.
posted by alex_skazat at 2:34 PM on March 25, 2012 [9 favorites]


Odd how this piece made me nostalgic about a life I never lived and know nothing about. Anyways, he looks great and seems to live a fulfilling life, though it seems lonely. I'm glad that we live in an age where Lagerfeld's brand of outliners can live and thrive.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:38 PM on March 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


Kind of makes me feel...bad for him? Sounds kind of lonely, but at least he's a stylish lonely.
posted by Sweetmag at 2:39 PM on March 25, 2012


I want to feel bad for him, but when he tells me about his multiple houses, multiple drivers and impossible demands (fresh ironed white sheets every night?), any sympathy I have for him is on par with the number of Chanel products I currently own.
posted by kurosawa's pal at 2:43 PM on March 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


Karl needs. a. white. box.
posted by The Whelk at 2:45 PM on March 25, 2012


The cat always stays home, and when I leave, the maid takes care of her. The cat is like a very refined object; she doesn't go into the street, and she doesn't go to other places. She is a spoiled princess.

This is almost like a window into his subconscious view of himself.
posted by marimeko at 2:57 PM on March 25, 2012 [10 favorites]


Sounds kind of lonely
posted by The Whelk at 2:57 PM on March 25, 2012 [6 favorites]


Yeah, I think he does sound lonely (but better than being lonely, broke, and in a walk-up). It's weird because I just wonder what the hell his childhood was like. Surely you don't spring fully formed like that out of the womb. (Staff in house next door, specially made custom nightshirts, the 'fan' phase, the sudden intense diet, etc). Is he living out his boyhood dreams? Or has intense wealth just kind of warped him a bit...like...can I say it? Michael Jackson?

Also, why ARE his magazines so messy? How can he be disorganized (like me!) when he works in high fashion (unlike me!).
posted by bquarters at 3:00 PM on March 25, 2012


Whenever I read celebrity gossip(not very often but sometimes) there always seems to be an article about something nasty he's said about someone. He doesn't seem like a very happy person - maybe the kitten will help.
posted by fromageball at 3:01 PM on March 25, 2012


Wow! The Whelk's link above is very...hmm. What does one say about that? And why is Karl Lagerfield sort of sporting a Colonel Sanders look in the bottom two photos. I really don't understand fashion, apparently.
posted by bquarters at 3:03 PM on March 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Not liking hot drinks is perhaps one of the least strange things about Mr. Lagerfeld, imho.

One of those people rich enough to indulge their every eccentricity... and there is something about the gloves, the high collars and the shades that makes me think he is pretty eccentric.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 3:10 PM on March 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


It's important to remember that Lagerfield has been ultivating his Litch King persona ever since he lost all that weight.

I do admire the work/life split, I've often dreamed about having a completely separate apartment for work and clutter and thinking and then the house can just be for house things and entertaining and relaxing. I don't really like those worlds touching and cause I can't close the door on Work, it's all over the place.
posted by The Whelk at 3:12 PM on March 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Cultivating.

Ultivating is something done to cows.
posted by The Whelk at 3:13 PM on March 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


The didn't tell the truth about the kitten. It's cloned.

At the end of every day after he goes to sleep they sneak in and remove the kitten. The kitten is thrown into a vat of enzymes and broken down into amino acids for recycling. The next morning a brand new, perfectly identical kitten precisely three weeks and three days old is placed in the apartment. The age of the kitten is precisely chosen and controlled so that it's just old enough to be playful and active, but not old enough to have developed sharpened claws that may snag on fine fabrics.

There's an entire kitten-cloning factory in the cellar. On any given day there are three identical kittens of exactly the same age - one "hero kitten" and two backups, just in case.

Every so often Karl ravages and devours the kitten in an explosion of surprising violence and gore, but no one likes to talk about that. Mainly because doing the laundry and replacing all the white furniture, carpeting and drapery is so much unrelenting bullshit.
posted by loquacious at 3:14 PM on March 25, 2012 [50 favorites]


I shape my idea of who Lagerfeld is entirely based on Go Fug Yourself's occasional Lagerfeld and Friends posts.

A sample:

No, knave. You are a wig factory of LIES.

Selves are just shoes we line with odor insoles. KICK.

Promises are for liars, pet. JUICE THE TRUTH, you naughty orange.
posted by emjaybee at 3:16 PM on March 25, 2012 [12 favorites]


Hugh Hefner chain-drinks Diet Pepsi all day long, up to 30 a day. Maybe both of these guys are on to something.
posted by beagle at 3:22 PM on March 25, 2012


Okay, do whatever you want with your life, but what's with taking yourself so seriously? And all the rules, all the proclamations about the way things are?

That is the best thing to do because my hair is always clean.

Yeah, sure, we get it.
posted by WorkingMyWayHome at 3:24 PM on March 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


There is something oddly pleasing to me about imagining a life of such ruthlessly cultivated eccentricity.
posted by Diablevert at 3:24 PM on March 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


Diet Coke, for some reason, seems to have more potential for abuse than other soft drinks.
posted by thelonius at 3:30 PM on March 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


Sounds kind of lonely

Uncanny valet.

And Lagerfeld always manages to look like bad Photoshop.
posted by hal9k at 3:32 PM on March 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


He's actually been in a 30 year relationship with his maid (the "cat"). Everything else is just work related to keep up appearances.
posted by stbalbach at 3:34 PM on March 25, 2012


Those interested in Mr. Lagerfeld might enjoy The Beautiful Fall, a book focused on the late sixties through early eighties but also containing material about Lagerfeld's childhood and his various renarrations of it.

He actually does seem to have had a rather sad life - at least as sad as a life can be when cushioned with so much money and fame.
posted by Frowner at 3:38 PM on March 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Over the years he seems to have become a parody of himself. Money and prestige have allowed him to spiral into total eccentricity. It's weird because his look and personality seem completely undiluted by other influences which is at odds with his design.
posted by marimeko at 3:40 PM on March 25, 2012


I don't know if "lonely" is the right word. If you watch any of the documentaries about him, he's definitely comes across as having some sort of ocd/social disorder. And a rich hoarder is still a hoarder. Dude is reported to have 70 ipods.
posted by billyfleetwood at 3:44 PM on March 25, 2012




Haha, the only thing I can think to call those Coke bottles is "FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAB-U-LOUS!"

Good work, Karl. Can I call you, Karl?
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 4:29 PM on March 25, 2012


I misphrased that. Can I call you (the name) Karl? Not can I call you (on the telephone), Karl?
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 4:29 PM on March 25, 2012


I'm the same way, only substituting beer for diet coke.
posted by distressingly thick sheets at 4:44 PM on March 25, 2012


It's weird because I just wonder what the hell his childhood was like.

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
posted by jimmythefish at 4:59 PM on March 25, 2012 [22 favorites]


Sounds kind of lonely

He might be lonelier: "Katy Perry Steals French Model Baptiste Giabiconi From Karl Lagerfeld."
posted by octobersurprise at 5:22 PM on March 25, 2012


He sounds rather fragile. If his money did not allow him to create a bubble to live in, he would probably be incapable of day to day survival. Anyone else notice the faxes non seqiter? The whole monologue seemed off. For all his money, it doesn't seem to have bought him a happy life, at most he sounds content.
posted by saucysault at 5:38 PM on March 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh Karl. I think my favourite part of the article is that he has his chef in his other apartment two miles away, because he can't possibly deal with the idea of food in his creative space. I wouldn't call him fragile though. This is a carefully crafted persona deliberately maintained and exhibited to promote his own fabulosity. I bet he's a tough old bird under it all.
posted by Go Banana at 5:55 PM on March 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


I shape my idea of who Lagerfeld is entirely based on Go Fug Yourself's occasional Lagerfeld and Friends posts.

My favourites are the ones with him and Lindsay Lohan.
posted by elizardbits at 6:14 PM on March 25, 2012


He's absolutely wonderful and anybody else who thinks otherwise has no taste.


I
M
H
O
posted by 200burritos at 6:16 PM on March 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


This reads like an unfunny version of Erik Satie.
posted by dr. boludo at 6:16 PM on March 25, 2012


because he can't possibly deal with the idea of food in his creative space.

According to Edmund White, French people hate (or some French people of a certain class and/or style affect to hate, more likely) the smell of food cooking, so the kitchen is placed as far away as possible from the rest of the living spaces. I have no idea if that's actually true or not.
posted by octobersurprise at 6:32 PM on March 25, 2012


Also, my favorite part of that interview is the remark "I wear jeans; at the moment they are from my new collection. They are dark gray with my face, my profile, printed in black on them, but you really have to look at it to see it."
posted by octobersurprise at 6:38 PM on March 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


He doesn't sound lonely to me, but then I'm extremely introverted and prefer hanging out with cats and vegetable plants at home rather than mix with lots of different people every day. Just based on this article, he sounds pretty at peace with himself and is living far more interestingly on a day to day basis than most of his generation. Having someone change his sheets every day and maintaining a separate apartment isn't really that extravagant compared to his known reputation.
posted by saturnine at 6:45 PM on March 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


About the only thing I did not find strange was that he doesn't like hot drinks.
posted by MtDewd at 6:51 PM on March 25, 2012


the people I was going out with are dead OR don't exist anymore

it's the folks in the second group who are not also in the first

they're the motherfuckers who freak ME out



all my friends who don't exist anymore, i dreamed them up in the first place

also:

why does anyone, anywhere, give a damn about anything karl lagerfeld does or says? someone help me out.
posted by waxbanks at 7:01 PM on March 25, 2012


He sounds rather fragile. If his money did not allow him to create a bubble to live in, he would probably be incapable of day to day survival.

I don't know- maybe the money bubble came first and made him weirder over time. Someone give me millions of dollars and lets find out how weird I can get if I don't have to answer to anybody.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:16 PM on March 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


it's the folks in the second group who are not also in the first

He has admitted to not being a particularly loyal friend. In particular, cutting people out of his life over disagreements. I'd imagine he meant that they don't exist to him.
posted by Poisonous People at 7:20 PM on March 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
posted by thewalrus at 7:24 PM on March 25, 2012 [5 favorites]


oops, forgot the link
posted by thewalrus at 7:26 PM on March 25, 2012


Everybody I know who drinks Diet Coke, drinks a shit load of it.
posted by bonobothegreat at 8:01 PM on March 25, 2012


11:00 A.M. I have my hair done because I hate to have hair in my face when I sketch.

This made me lol.

Dude, you have your hair done? For real? You've been wearing the same ponytail for eons. You. Wear. A. Pony. Tail. How do you have a ponytail... done? You actually have someone come in, brush your hair back, and throw on a scrunchy?

Love ya, Karl, but... please.
posted by Vavuzi at 8:12 PM on March 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


In terms of being an eccentric, I'd rather have been Lucien Freud.
posted by arcticseal at 8:59 PM on March 25, 2012


Someone give me millions of dollars and lets find out how weird I can get if I don't have to answer to anybody.

No, me, me! I promise I'll be much more freaky and entertaining than TPS!
posted by Meatbomb at 9:50 PM on March 25, 2012


No me! I'll sponsor all y'all to be as strange and entertaining as you like. Winner gets a soild gold rocket car.
posted by The Whelk at 9:53 PM on March 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


What about a solid gold kitten-powered rocket car?
posted by MattMangels at 12:17 AM on March 26, 2012


Can somebody ask Werner Herzog to read this aloud?
posted by Omon Ra at 12:54 AM on March 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


Can somebody ask Werner Herzog to read this aloud?
posted by Omon Ra at 12:54 AM on March 26 [1 favorite +] [!]


No! Don't cross the streams!
posted by From Bklyn at 3:40 AM on March 26, 2012


Dude is reported to have 70 ipods.

I watched a programme on Channel 4 here about, well, not exactly hoarders per se, but people who had too much stuff. The woman featured had all her possessions taken to a warehouse, where they found she had seven digital cameras. Not DSLRs, or specific types, but seven cheap point and shoot jobs designed for the capture-my-crazy-night-out-for-Facebook market. How can you have seven of them and not notice? What's the benefit?

70 iPods make some sense, as you could use them like mix-tapes - the sunny day iPod, the break-up iPod - if you were crazy and rich.
posted by mippy at 3:52 AM on March 26, 2012


Karl comes across a lot better in this conversation with Bruce LaBruce. Still completely crackers, of course, but funny and charming too.

Also, you have to admire a man who carries his many iPods in bespoke Vuitton luggage and employs an "iPod nanny" - reportedly Parisian DJ Michel Gaubert, who also programmes the soundtracks to Chanel catwalk shows - to make sure they're all full of the very best new music.
posted by jack_mo at 4:21 AM on March 26, 2012


Also, you have to admire a man who carries his many iPods in bespoke Vuitton luggage and employs an "iPod nanny"

lol no i don't
posted by tumid dahlia at 4:39 AM on March 26, 2012


Well, he's at least creating employment opportunities in a struggling economy.
posted by mippy at 4:43 AM on March 26, 2012


In terms of being an eccentric, I'd rather have been Hunter Thompson.
posted by kinnakeet at 6:12 AM on March 26, 2012


Dude, you have your hair done? For real? You've been wearing the same ponytail for eons. You. Wear. A. Pony. Tail. How do you have a ponytail... done? You actually have someone come in, brush your hair back, and throw on a scrunchy?

Before baldness made the issue moot, one of my "when I win the lottery" fantasies was having an in-house barber. (More likely, my valet/driver would just also be a barber. His name would be Rochester.)

Anyway, he says his hair is grey and ugly, so it is probably way easier to get someone in to fix it up for you than it is to screw around with it yourself. Especially when your "look" is important.

What I want to know is how he gets his jeans so uniformly rumpled like that.
posted by gjc at 6:41 AM on March 26, 2012


Can somebody ask Werner Herzog to read this aloud?

A Herzogian treatment of the fashion world is a must. Bitte, Werner?

why does anyone, anywhere, give a damn about anything karl lagerfeld does or says? someone help me out.

Because some people find wealthy, creative, eccentrics entertaining? Why has, say, anyone, anywhere, ever given a damn about anything that Sacheverell Sitwell, or Stephen Tennant, or Andy Warhol did or said? And yet—this may come as a shock—they have! Why books have even been written on each of those figures. And some people have even devoted time to reading them!

Now I've blown your mind, haven't I?
posted by octobersurprise at 6:43 AM on March 26, 2012


Karl Lagerfeld is best pony.
posted by darksasami at 11:09 AM on March 26, 2012


Karl Lagerfeld Bear
posted by amarynth at 11:13 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


lol no i don't

Perhaps 'admire' wasn't the right word - I meant 'gawp in awe at the sheer hooting ridiculousness'.

In other news, Karl's 'muse' Baptiste Giabiconi is now stepping out with Katy Perry, which makes me wonder if he's playing a game of Incredibly Rich People with Awful Hair Sex Bingo.
posted by jack_mo at 2:10 PM on March 26, 2012


yes

we need more of this

less zuckerberg more weird rich guys
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 4:26 PM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


less zuckerberg more weird rich guys

I think I would like Zuckerberg much more if he took to stalking the streets of the valley in a plain pleather trenchcoat and refused to admit the color pink into his sight. Nobody believes the weirdness isn't there, billionaire-man. The fact that you keep it all inside makes me think you're just letting it fester. Even Warren of the plain Olds sedan, same-house-in-Omaha-stylie had a permanent mengage a trois thing going.
posted by Diablevert at 7:28 PM on March 26, 2012


You know, I don't think he is an eccentric, not really. Once your eccentricity is studied, it ceases to be - eccentricity is borne of not caring, not from caring too much. Nobody so desperate to tell the world why he is can really merit the label, surely?
posted by mippy at 3:57 PM on March 27, 2012


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