a tale of two cities
April 26, 2012 7:35 AM Subscribe
Fucking, Austria needs to get in on this pronto - the League of Fucking Dull and Boring would be a force to be reckoned with.
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:39 AM on April 26, 2012 [15 favorites]
posted by Dr Dracator at 7:39 AM on April 26, 2012 [15 favorites]
And still no sister city agreement between Intercourse, PA and Fucking, Aus... DAMMIT Dr. Dracator
posted by phong3d at 7:41 AM on April 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by phong3d at 7:41 AM on April 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
Fucking, Austria needs to get in on this pronto
And although you may have heard otherwise, there hasn't been a Fucking name change.
posted by zamboni at 7:43 AM on April 26, 2012
And although you may have heard otherwise, there hasn't been a Fucking name change.
posted by zamboni at 7:43 AM on April 26, 2012
There's a Boring, Maryland too. I like to drive through and see the Boring Volunteer Fire Company.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:22 AM on April 26, 2012
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:22 AM on April 26, 2012
So where are the towns of White and Nerdy ?
posted by k5.user at 8:32 AM on April 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by k5.user at 8:32 AM on April 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
Man no one wants to give Blue Balls, PA a hand....
Intercourse, PA will surely help out.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 8:40 AM on April 26, 2012
Intercourse, PA will surely help out.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 8:40 AM on April 26, 2012
An old Northern Virginia joke: Did you hear that Manassas and Dumfries are going to be combined into one town? They're going to call it Dumbasses.
posted by jocelmeow at 8:43 AM on April 26, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by jocelmeow at 8:43 AM on April 26, 2012 [4 favorites]
You can take the road from Virginville, PA to Intercourse, PA while heading through Blue Ball, PA (and coincidentally my hometown of Wyomissing en route).
posted by kdar at 9:25 AM on April 26, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by kdar at 9:25 AM on April 26, 2012 [3 favorites]
It's a short trip from Difficult to Defeated (at least if you live in Tennessee).
posted by komara at 9:26 AM on April 26, 2012
posted by komara at 9:26 AM on April 26, 2012
Okay, I mostly read here and seldom actually post, but I do have an actual Boring story.
My fiancee and I had moved to Portland after college, and my dad came out to visit us for the first time (probably 1995). We took him on the 'tourist triangle' drive: east down the beautiful Columbia River Gorge, past Multnomah Falls, to the town of Hood River... then south to Mt. Hood and Timberline Lodge. Had a great day.
From Mt. Hood, it's a ~90 minute drive west-northwest back to Portland. At that time, we lived a bit south of the city, so there was a logical place where we could jump off the main Portland road and cut through Boring for a straighter shot home.
When we pulled into the literally sleepy town (it was past dark at this point) my dad went wild with excitement: "They've gotta have some Boring, Oregon souvenirs here!" I rolled my eyes, as kids do, but promised to stop so we could look. About the only place that appeared to be open was a small mini-mart... no luck. Dad came out, crestfallen, and sadly got back in the car.
We then saw the "Boring Tavern" and Dad got, if anything, more excited... "We have to stop!" The two of us walked into one of the most surreal moments in my life.
I'm pretty sure there was not one of those awkward record-scratching-into-silence sounds, but it definitely felt like one. Like Pee-Wee Herman in the private club of the 'Satan's Helpers'... this was a rough, locals-only joint.
Looking back, the dudes, in and of themselves, were not particularly scary. The thing that put the situation over the edge was that, next to the pool table and quite near the front door, was a 100% stark naked woman doing a desultory dance near a couple of (as far as I could tell) uninterested customers. And this did not appear to be an actual strip club... there was no stage. No DJ. No music, even. She was attempting to writhe erotically on the floor of the bar.
As I stood open-mouthed next to my dad, paralyzed in the entryway, it dawned on me that she must be attempting to do some kind of "freelance" stripping, for rent/meth money or whatever, and that this was the kind of place that (while it may have not actively promoted it) was conspicuously not discouraging it either.
Somehow my dad decided to forge his way up to the bartender to ask if they had any Boring souvenirs; I'm pretty sure I hissed "Dad, no, come on!" and tried to grab him by the back of the shirt. He predictably struck out, but thankfully did not get stabbed and/or a bottle broken over his head, as my now-runaway imagination envisioned.
We found ourselves safely outside again, with wide eyes, hustled back to the car where my fiancee was patiently waiting, peeled out of the parking lot and then burst out laughing. To this day, whenever "Boring, Oregon" is uttered in our family, it's always done in a low, hushed tone with respectful pauses before and after.
Postscript: Google results infer that the Boring Tavern apparently institutionalized stripping (and started printing Boring T-shirts, damn it!) later in the decade; we clearly witnessed the innovator firsthand.
posted by rodeoclown at 10:00 AM on April 26, 2012 [18 favorites]
My fiancee and I had moved to Portland after college, and my dad came out to visit us for the first time (probably 1995). We took him on the 'tourist triangle' drive: east down the beautiful Columbia River Gorge, past Multnomah Falls, to the town of Hood River... then south to Mt. Hood and Timberline Lodge. Had a great day.
From Mt. Hood, it's a ~90 minute drive west-northwest back to Portland. At that time, we lived a bit south of the city, so there was a logical place where we could jump off the main Portland road and cut through Boring for a straighter shot home.
When we pulled into the literally sleepy town (it was past dark at this point) my dad went wild with excitement: "They've gotta have some Boring, Oregon souvenirs here!" I rolled my eyes, as kids do, but promised to stop so we could look. About the only place that appeared to be open was a small mini-mart... no luck. Dad came out, crestfallen, and sadly got back in the car.
We then saw the "Boring Tavern" and Dad got, if anything, more excited... "We have to stop!" The two of us walked into one of the most surreal moments in my life.
I'm pretty sure there was not one of those awkward record-scratching-into-silence sounds, but it definitely felt like one. Like Pee-Wee Herman in the private club of the 'Satan's Helpers'... this was a rough, locals-only joint.
Looking back, the dudes, in and of themselves, were not particularly scary. The thing that put the situation over the edge was that, next to the pool table and quite near the front door, was a 100% stark naked woman doing a desultory dance near a couple of (as far as I could tell) uninterested customers. And this did not appear to be an actual strip club... there was no stage. No DJ. No music, even. She was attempting to writhe erotically on the floor of the bar.
As I stood open-mouthed next to my dad, paralyzed in the entryway, it dawned on me that she must be attempting to do some kind of "freelance" stripping, for rent/meth money or whatever, and that this was the kind of place that (while it may have not actively promoted it) was conspicuously not discouraging it either.
Somehow my dad decided to forge his way up to the bartender to ask if they had any Boring souvenirs; I'm pretty sure I hissed "Dad, no, come on!" and tried to grab him by the back of the shirt. He predictably struck out, but thankfully did not get stabbed and/or a bottle broken over his head, as my now-runaway imagination envisioned.
We found ourselves safely outside again, with wide eyes, hustled back to the car where my fiancee was patiently waiting, peeled out of the parking lot and then burst out laughing. To this day, whenever "Boring, Oregon" is uttered in our family, it's always done in a low, hushed tone with respectful pauses before and after.
Postscript: Google results infer that the Boring Tavern apparently institutionalized stripping (and started printing Boring T-shirts, damn it!) later in the decade; we clearly witnessed the innovator firsthand.
posted by rodeoclown at 10:00 AM on April 26, 2012 [18 favorites]
I was once unemployed for a year (Portland, where young people go to retire!) and I made a point of bicycling from my close-in Portland apartment to Boring and back a few times a week to keep myself from going stir-crazy between having no discretionary money and no particular place to be. The first time I was in boring I stopped by the corner store and asked if there was anything in particular I should check out or do while I was there. The tension as they held back from making the obvious quip before shrugging and saying "no not really" was palpable.
posted by idiopath at 11:16 AM on April 26, 2012
posted by idiopath at 11:16 AM on April 26, 2012
We then saw the "Boring Tavern" and Dad got, if anything, more excited...
I drove around town sometime in the early 1980s looking for signs like the tavern's to photograph. I think my favorite said "Boring Rural Fire District No. 59."
The sign out by the highway with the arrow pointing to "Boring Oregon City" also is pretty popular.
posted by LeLiLo at 11:22 AM on April 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
I drove around town sometime in the early 1980s looking for signs like the tavern's to photograph. I think my favorite said "Boring Rural Fire District No. 59."
The sign out by the highway with the arrow pointing to "Boring Oregon City" also is pretty popular.
posted by LeLiLo at 11:22 AM on April 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
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posted by zamboni at 7:38 AM on April 26, 2012