25 Greatest Matches in Wrestlemania History
May 6, 2012 10:23 AM   Subscribe

And the 25 worst.
posted by box at 10:36 AM on May 6, 2012

My Sunday afternoon is ruined. Thank you. :-)
posted by aheckler at 10:40 AM on May 6, 2012 [1 favorite]

*clobbers thread with folding chair*
posted by jonmc at 10:42 AM on May 6, 2012 [3 favorites]

Not a single one of them can compare to any of those from that apogee of athleticism and kayfabe, the Inter-Gender Wrestling Champion of the World, Andy Kaufman.
posted by Doktor Zed at 10:43 AM on May 6, 2012 [1 favorite]

I hope however thought up pairing Triple H's enterance with Motorhead is richer than fuck.
posted by Cyrano at 10:49 AM on May 6, 2012

I hope however thought up pairing Triple H's enterance with Motorhead is richer than fuck.

That would be Tripper himself, probably whilst air-guitaring naked in front of several full-length mirrors with the bosses' daughter writhing around his legs in a Boris Vallejo-like scene of macho absurdity.
posted by Kandarp Von Bontee at 11:05 AM on May 6, 2012 [3 favorites]

No one can beat Baron von Raschke in my heart. He is the Claw Master, and these young'uns just cannot compete.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:06 AM on May 6, 2012

Bah god jonmc brought that chair outta nowhere! The chaos! The carnage! Where is the ref?!
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 11:13 AM on May 6, 2012 [6 favorites]

Jon Cold! Jon Cold!
posted by Trurl at 11:21 AM on May 6, 2012 [2 favorites]

26th greatest
posted by starman at 11:25 AM on May 6, 2012 [3 favorites]

I can't remember which match it was, but my all-time favorite was the one where the winner starts out kicking the other guy's ass, only to quickly have the tables turned on him and find himself at the mercy of that other guy. That other guy then gets the winner on his back and is just to about to pin him when the winner miraculously escapes and winds up pinning the other guy. It was awesome.
posted by flarbuse at 11:34 AM on May 6, 2012 [2 favorites]

Man, I saw that match, and it was a travesty! The referee completely missed the one guy's obvious cheating!
posted by box at 11:44 AM on May 6, 2012

No Hulk Hogan and Mr. T vs Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff from WMI?

No Hulk vs King Kong Bundy cage match from WM2?

Related, the decent indie wrestling doc Card Subject to Change recently popped up on Netflix streaming. Kamala's in it, so there's that. Not quite as good (or as heartbreaking) as Beyond the Mat (also on Netflix instant), but good nonetheless.
posted by item at 12:12 PM on May 6, 2012 [1 favorite]

Come to think of it, I've been watching way too much wrestling lately, both classic and modern. I was raised on the Von Erichs and WCCW at the Sportatorium (also the venue I first saw the Beastie Boys play in). My brother would take me to the free Saturday morning matches that'd be broadcast that night on channel 11. They usually featured a bunch of nobodies, with the main event being one or two local superstars (usually one of the then-surviving Von Erich brothers) against a semi-nobody, or if we were lucky a star from another region's circuit. Lots of fond memories, especially considering my brother (who was eight years my senior) and I really had a hard time getting along, primarily because he was the only bully figure in my life. He was obsessed with wrestling, keeping notebooks of stats and taping every match. No surprise, either, as from what I can remember he really had no friends all through junior high and high school.

I still remember, 25 years on, what a dump that place was. The weird smells, the weirder people, but I loved it. We'd get there early in order to gain ringside seats, then we'd pick ourselves out on TV that night when the match would air. I felt like I was as big of a star as the pasty, freckled wrestlers trying to break into the sport.
posted by item at 12:40 PM on May 6, 2012 [1 favorite]

Proud to say that I saw #9 & #19 live in person!
posted by Saxon Kane at 1:34 PM on May 6, 2012

Oh, #11 too!
posted by Saxon Kane at 1:36 PM on May 6, 2012

What?! What's that?! That's Trurl's music! What's he doing here?!

Oh, putting up an awesome wrestling post. Carry on. Even though you're a sick human being!
posted by Ghidorah at 3:02 PM on May 6, 2012

I would definitely place the Taker/Triple H match from this past WrestleMania in the top 25. The story it told about two men that laid it all on the line and the one man tasked with deciding the fate of his best friend versus the person who retired him was compelling.

But then you have to decide which match to throw out, and that's just unpossible.
posted by deezil at 3:09 PM on May 6, 2012 [2 favorites]

Taker vs Trip should be disqualified on the grounds that great in-ring storytelling should not involve lengthy periods of three guys standing around for several minutes spouting scripted dialogue. Just the next logical step, I guess, in the overproduced TV-centric ethos of a wrestling company implicitly ashamed of wrestling.
posted by Kandarp Von Bontee at 4:53 PM on May 6, 2012 [2 favorites]

The inclusion of Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan from Wrestlemania 3 costs this list any credibility (though they do acknowledge the match wasn't "excellent", which is an understatement of epic proportions). The match may have been historically important in terms of having drawn the largest wrestling crowd in North American wrestling history, cementing the WWF's position as the dominant player in the wrestling industry, etc., but as far as quality the match is pretty widely regarded as having been the drizzling shits and it certainly hasn't gotten better with age.
posted by The Gooch at 6:08 PM on May 6, 2012 [1 favorite]

Same reaction here, The Gooch. It does my heart well when "Greatest" is the superlative of choice used for lists like this, because it allows one to disagree with any of inclusions (and this one is as appropriate as any for this) with: "Great meaning large or immense/We use it in the pejorative sense."
posted by SpiffyRob at 8:52 AM on May 7, 2012

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