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May 8, 2012 8:32 PM   Subscribe

posted by Sys Rq at 8:51 PM on May 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

Decisive and unambiguous proof that not everything Steve Jobs did was a good idea, or even vaguely explicable.

(not that any actual person will actually propose this as a belief, but TAKE THAT, STRAWMEN)
posted by DoctorFedora at 9:21 PM on May 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

Just as hideous as the countless other internal marketing pieces I was witness to for a couple years back in my early days of media production employment. Dancers and singers going on about how wonderful you should feel about your life because you work for Corporation X and the constant war metaphors about competitors. All very familiar stuff. The difference in budgets did often provide hilarity.

Other than a couple of people at each company, everyone else seemed to regard these internal promotions just as silly as they actually are.
posted by juiceCake at 9:24 PM on May 8, 2012

Yeah this gives me flashbacks to my first computer business doing Video Toaster work on stuff like this.
posted by the_artificer at 9:48 PM on May 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

Man, I had a C64 back then... whose side was I on????
posted by not_on_display at 9:52 PM on May 8, 2012

Everything Steve Jobs did was a good idea!

And vaguely explicable, too!
posted by mazola at 9:53 PM on May 8, 2012 [2 favorites]

This has been making the rounds and I'm afraid to watch - is there singing? Is it as bad as that MS Vista Bruce Springsteen thing?

Because that thing gets stuck in my head from time to time and I'm all "They'll say, Vista, gotta get me sooooommmmeeeee" and goddammit, that's no fun. So I gotta be cautious with my lame, in-house dog shit promo videos.
posted by porn in the woods at 9:56 PM on May 8, 2012

I am surprised that anybody anywhere ever thought internal marketing was a good idea. I mean, geez. It doesn't even vaguely make sense. "No, don't worry about investing in R & D, or offering perks like a nice new employee kitchen, or (heaven forbid) paying people a little more - no, let's waste money trying to get people who already work for our company to like our company! Great idea!"
posted by koeselitz at 10:03 PM on May 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

Huh. COO-perTEEno. I always read it as "Cupper-TEA-no".
posted by Joe in Australia at 10:36 PM on May 8, 2012

I'm at a start-up small enough that CEO still takes everyone individually to lunch every once in a while.

Last Thursday was my day. We went to the restaurant but his phone rang in the parking lot and he proceeded to have a ten minute chat with someone while I checked out the scenery. Listening to my end it was clearly a journalist, but I was having a hard time tracking what the CEO was saying vis a vis our company and product.

Eventually got off the phone, turned to me and said "Sorry about that. That was Bloomberg. I just put a new video of Steve Jobs on-line and they wanted to know if I have any more."
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:38 PM on May 8, 2012 [7 favorites]

I particularly enjoyed the photo of people held captive by competing computer systems-- extending the analogy, using DOS is like being in a concentration camp. It's in such poor taste that it's just hilarious.

Of course, the hubris of likening yourself to Franklin Roosevelt is hilarious as well. It's pretty fitting that a couple years after this was made, Jobs was out on his ass and the company spent a decade wandering in the desert. Obviously it worked out for them eventually, but this is evidence that they weren't going to do that without a huge attitude adjustment.
posted by Mayor Curley at 3:34 AM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

a) It was the 1980s. b) Cocaine is a helluva drug.
posted by zippy at 7:37 AM on May 9, 2012

So if you use a PC you're a nazi...?
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:18 AM on May 9, 2012

So if you use a PC you're a nazi...?

No. If you make IBM PCs, you're a Nazi. (There is actually something to that, but I doubt that had much to do with this.)

If you use one, you're, like, a holocaust victim?

posted by Sys Rq at 11:13 AM on May 9, 2012

I find the lack of Apple fanbois defending this as the greatest internal marketing video ever to be especially damning.
posted by double block and bleed at 1:58 PM on May 9, 2012

Damning for whom? The people who use the word "fanboi" or "fanboy" despite being ostensible adults?
posted by DoctorFedora at 2:42 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

A propos of very little – every time somebody uses the word "fanbois," I can't help but read it as though it were a French word: "faahn-bwahhh." That makes it much more satisfying, I can tell you.
posted by koeselitz at 2:48 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

This has been making the rounds
You can say that again, the clip had 6,421 views when I posted it. It has 13,466 now.
posted by unliteral at 4:20 PM on May 9, 2012

I just liked how they straight-up called themselves the Apple Corps.
posted by ckape at 6:20 PM on May 9, 2012

Then there's Bill Gates as Austin Powers.
posted by jimmymcvee at 10:23 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

Steve Ballmer as Dr. Evil. That's pretty accurate casting.
posted by the_artificer at 10:37 PM on May 9, 2012

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