"Good boy! Good boy!"
May 19, 2012 9:29 AM Subscribe
Is there anything a direwolf can't do!?
posted by Fizz at 9:32 AM on May 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Fizz at 9:32 AM on May 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
Careful dog, first it's "Oh hey ride this bike it's fun!" then it's "Hey you can ride to the market all by yourself!" then it's "Hey maybe you can pick up some smokes and melons while you're there, good dog!" and before you know it you're an unpaid chore boy with barely enough time to lick yourself.
Stay inanimate in a sunbeam and hope they don't notice you dog, that's my plan.
posted by The Whelk at 9:37 AM on May 19, 2012 [5 favorites]
Stay inanimate in a sunbeam and hope they don't notice you dog, that's my plan.
posted by The Whelk at 9:37 AM on May 19, 2012 [5 favorites]
Careful dog, first it's "Oh hey ride this bike it's fun!" then it's "Hey you can ride to the market all by yourself!" then it's "Hey maybe you can pick up some smokes and melons while you're there, good dog!" and before you know it you're an unpaid chore boy with barely enough time to lick yourself.
Now if we cold only teach helper monkeys, chimps, & gorillas to do this kind of thing. I don't foresee any future problems.
posted by Fizz at 9:39 AM on May 19, 2012
Now if we cold only teach helper monkeys, chimps, & gorillas to do this kind of thing. I don't foresee any future problems.
posted by Fizz at 9:39 AM on May 19, 2012
Burn the witch!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:49 AM on May 19, 2012
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 9:49 AM on May 19, 2012
Your Amazing Norman! ... that YouTube comment pretty well sums it up.
posted by doublesix at 9:49 AM on May 19, 2012
posted by doublesix at 9:49 AM on May 19, 2012
Now if we cold only teach helper monkeys, chimps, & gorillas to do this kind of thing. I don't foresee any future problems.
Actually, it's not so far off. Norman has gone from being a pet to getting a job selling pet food. Slavery and revolt are the next stages.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:50 AM on May 19, 2012
Actually, it's not so far off. Norman has gone from being a pet to getting a job selling pet food. Slavery and revolt are the next stages.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:50 AM on May 19, 2012
man I hope he's fixed, because that looks really uncomfortable, climbing on like that. Nads are not butt
posted by Redhush at 9:51 AM on May 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Redhush at 9:51 AM on May 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
Man in dog suit.
Also, would it be appropriate to say, "Metafilter: Nads are not butt"? I'm new to all this and I'm not entirely sure how it's done.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 10:17 AM on May 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
Also, would it be appropriate to say, "Metafilter: Nads are not butt"? I'm new to all this and I'm not entirely sure how it's done.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 10:17 AM on May 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
Seriously, this is such a long time coming. I mean, dogs have been domesticated for what, like maybe 20k - 40k years? And just NOW we're teaching them to operate our machines? We've bred canines to have an amazing array of phenotypic variations in the pursuit of different ends (fox-hunting bloodhounds, bull-fighting bulldogs, badger-hole-excavating dachshunds), and over the course of several millennia none of my dumbass ancestors thought to start breeding a line of dogs that could churn butter or something?
I guess maybe dog breeding was restrained because of the same fear we have about AI nowadays: The Canine Singularity could turn us all into omega-pack-position slaves if they had ever figured out how to make chain mail or drive tractors.
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 10:18 AM on May 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
I guess maybe dog breeding was restrained because of the same fear we have about AI nowadays: The Canine Singularity could turn us all into omega-pack-position slaves if they had ever figured out how to make chain mail or drive tractors.
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 10:18 AM on May 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
That is a nice pair of legs, though.
And that blonde lady seems to be in good shape as well.
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 10:20 AM on May 19, 2012
And that blonde lady seems to be in good shape as well.
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 10:20 AM on May 19, 2012
That's nothing. A bear can ride a bike without training wheels.
posted by found missing at 10:23 AM on May 19, 2012
posted by found missing at 10:23 AM on May 19, 2012
thank you, The Whelk. I stand corrected. There was a dog that could sort of work a rotisserie. And they've gone extinct. Shame. That's why I only eat nuggetized chicken. Too much work. Not enough cross-species cooperation.
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 10:23 AM on May 19, 2012
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 10:23 AM on May 19, 2012
Also, FIXIE!
posted by found missing at 10:23 AM on May 19, 2012
posted by found missing at 10:23 AM on May 19, 2012
Barstool Philadelphia pretty well summarized my feelings on this video yesterday:
Dogs aren’t meant to ride bikes, lady. That creature was not put on this planet to amuse you and your (probably) terrible children. How about this, how about we teach you how to sniff and lick ass just like a dog? Because I bet as much as you feel like sniffing and licking dog ass right now is the same way your dog felt about learning how to ride a bike like a human.
How many hours ofdog torture training did this take? This is what I don’t get about crazy animal people. They love the animal so much they end up treating it like a human, WHICH THE ANIMAL TOTALLY DOES NOT WANT.
posted by nathancaswell at 10:33 AM on May 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
Dogs aren’t meant to ride bikes, lady. That creature was not put on this planet to amuse you and your (probably) terrible children. How about this, how about we teach you how to sniff and lick ass just like a dog? Because I bet as much as you feel like sniffing and licking dog ass right now is the same way your dog felt about learning how to ride a bike like a human.
How many hours of
posted by nathancaswell at 10:33 AM on May 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
Yikes, and here I thought it was just an innocent and sweet video of a dog broadening his skill set.
Ya know, it didn't look like it took a great deal of coercion to get Norman to ride that bike, but its nice that there are a few people getting breathlessly indignant on his behalf.
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 10:40 AM on May 19, 2012
Ya know, it didn't look like it took a great deal of coercion to get Norman to ride that bike, but its nice that there are a few people getting breathlessly indignant on his behalf.
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 10:40 AM on May 19, 2012
You know what else dogs don't want? To catch Frisbees. That's right, they secretly HATE IT.
posted by found missing at 10:41 AM on May 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by found missing at 10:41 AM on May 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
right cause chasing a frisbee and fulfilling it's prey drive is totally the same as riding a bike
also, fuck outta here with your breathless indignation
posted by nathancaswell at 10:48 AM on May 19, 2012
also, fuck outta here with your breathless indignation
posted by nathancaswell at 10:48 AM on May 19, 2012
To be fair, it is exceedingly difficult to gauge a dog's emotional state, and not just because tails are so limited in their expressive capabilities or cos dogs don't have lips.
Mostly its cos they're such glad-handing sycophants that they just cheerfully agree with whatever stupid schemes their cohabitating humans have cooked up, despite any misgivings they may privately feel.
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 10:49 AM on May 19, 2012
Mostly its cos they're such glad-handing sycophants that they just cheerfully agree with whatever stupid schemes their cohabitating humans have cooked up, despite any misgivings they may privately feel.
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 10:49 AM on May 19, 2012
Deciding what dogs do and do not want or like often entails some pretty stupid anthropomorphizing.
posted by found missing at 10:51 AM on May 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by found missing at 10:51 AM on May 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
Relax, Nathan, its just a video of a dog riding a bicycle.
I never thought I'd put those words in that sequence.
I'd hate to see your reaction to a Barnum and Bailey show if this upsets you so much.
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 10:54 AM on May 19, 2012
I never thought I'd put those words in that sequence.
I'd hate to see your reaction to a Barnum and Bailey show if this upsets you so much.
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 10:54 AM on May 19, 2012
I'd hate to see your reaction to a Barnum and Bailey show if this upsets you so much.
i've been to the circus, it's depressing
posted by nathancaswell at 10:57 AM on May 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
i've been to the circus, it's depressing
posted by nathancaswell at 10:57 AM on May 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
Careful dog, first it's "Oh hey ride this bike it's fun!" then it's "Hey you can ride to the market all by yourself!" then it's "Hey maybe you can pick up some smokes and melons while you're there, good dog!" and before you know it you're an unpaid chore boy with barely enough time to lick yourself.
According to some visualizations, this scenario turns out worse for the human, and better for the dog.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 10:58 AM on May 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
According to some visualizations, this scenario turns out worse for the human, and better for the dog.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 10:58 AM on May 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
i've been to the circus, it's depressing
Yeah, I find it pretty sad as well. That's why I think this is fairly innocuous in the scope of human perpetrated animal abuse.
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 11:00 AM on May 19, 2012
Yeah, I find it pretty sad as well. That's why I think this is fairly innocuous in the scope of human perpetrated animal abuse.
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 11:00 AM on May 19, 2012
Deciding what dogs do and do not want or like often entails some pretty stupid anthropomorphizing.
only stupid anthropomorphizing I see going on here is training a dog to ride a bike
anyway, the odd thing is in the grand scheme of things this doesn't even bother me that much, i just think it's dumb yet here i am on this beautiful saturday arguing with strangers on the internet... and on that note...
posted by nathancaswell at 11:03 AM on May 19, 2012
only stupid anthropomorphizing I see going on here is training a dog to ride a bike
anyway, the odd thing is in the grand scheme of things this doesn't even bother me that much, i just think it's dumb yet here i am on this beautiful saturday arguing with strangers on the internet... and on that note...
posted by nathancaswell at 11:03 AM on May 19, 2012
Sing or Swim, that was a cool little video. Very economical storytelling and a dog in a humansuit- what's not to love. And it featured the great Dominique Pinon, from 'Amelie' and 'City of Lost Children' and a bunch of other great French movies.
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 11:03 AM on May 19, 2012
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 11:03 AM on May 19, 2012
i just think it's dumb yet here i am on this beautiful saturday arguing with strangers on the internet.
When you're out enjoying your Saturday, I hope you don't see any dogs on leashes. I'm sure they hate that.
posted by found missing at 11:13 AM on May 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
When you're out enjoying your Saturday, I hope you don't see any dogs on leashes. I'm sure they hate that.
posted by found missing at 11:13 AM on May 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
I'd hate to see your reaction to a Barnum and Bailey show if this upsets you so much.
A very high percentage of professional ballerinas are hobbled by age 45, too. But animals are such a better victim.
posted by msalt at 11:39 AM on May 19, 2012
A very high percentage of professional ballerinas are hobbled by age 45, too. But animals are such a better victim.
posted by msalt at 11:39 AM on May 19, 2012
To be fair, it is exceedingly difficult to gauge a dog's emotional state
Not really. Not when you're waving a dog treat in front of his face and the only way he's gonna get it is to ride the damn bike. I'm pretty sure a good gauge of his wanting to do it would be if he chose to do it without having to reward him.
Dogs will do stuff without treats to motivate them. Fetch. Run on beach. Lick balls. But, they won't ride bikes.
posted by jimmythefish at 11:51 AM on May 19, 2012
Not really. Not when you're waving a dog treat in front of his face and the only way he's gonna get it is to ride the damn bike. I'm pretty sure a good gauge of his wanting to do it would be if he chose to do it without having to reward him.
Dogs will do stuff without treats to motivate them. Fetch. Run on beach. Lick balls. But, they won't ride bikes.
posted by jimmythefish at 11:51 AM on May 19, 2012
Consider how much more efficiently the dog can indulge its prey drive while chasing bunnies on a bicycle, though.
posted by elizardbits at 11:51 AM on May 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 11:51 AM on May 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
for maximum fairness the bunnies must be on tiny mopeds.
posted by elizardbits at 11:52 AM on May 19, 2012 [5 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 11:52 AM on May 19, 2012 [5 favorites]
Thiink I still prefer the UK's all-conquering Ashleigh and Pudsey
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 11:52 AM on May 19, 2012
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 11:52 AM on May 19, 2012
See, while all you guys were in here arguing about this, I went out and taught my Husky how to ride a boat...(she loved it, Nathan)
posted by HuronBob at 12:34 PM on May 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by HuronBob at 12:34 PM on May 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
I'm pretty sure a good gauge of his wanting to do it would be if he chose to do it without having to reward him.
You know what though, it probably just never occurred to him to try riding a bike.
Seriously though, if it were that uncomfortable or painful for the dog to do it, he won't.
Yes, dogs love treats, but they will only go to certain lengths to get them. Of course, I'm not a dog, and neither are you (right?), so I don't know why we are having a futile discussion about what dogs feel/want/experience when it is not plainly evident judging by the body language they typically use to express such feelings.
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 12:45 PM on May 19, 2012
You know what though, it probably just never occurred to him to try riding a bike.
Seriously though, if it were that uncomfortable or painful for the dog to do it, he won't.
Yes, dogs love treats, but they will only go to certain lengths to get them. Of course, I'm not a dog, and neither are you (right?), so I don't know why we are having a futile discussion about what dogs feel/want/experience when it is not plainly evident judging by the body language they typically use to express such feelings.
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 12:45 PM on May 19, 2012
That's a beautiful shot, HuronBob. Your dog reminds me of a young, hirsute David Bowie.
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 12:47 PM on May 19, 2012
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 12:47 PM on May 19, 2012
Sadly, 'Norman Flies An Airliner' didn't end so well.
posted by panboi at 2:03 PM on May 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by panboi at 2:03 PM on May 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
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posted by stbalbach at 9:31 AM on May 19, 2012