Reality TV, Cain Style

July 3, 2012 10:15 PM

Herman Cain has a new joint. From Herman Cain, the main who broke the mold of bizarre political advertising, comes CainTV.
posted by dbiedny (44 comments total)

I'm going to buy me a big screen teevee first thing tomorrow morning so that I can watch it 24/7
posted by growabrain at 10:17 PM on July 3, 2012

This is satire, right? Right?!
posted by Osrinith at 10:24 PM on July 3, 2012

The Daily Show's John Oliver has starting releasing pieces of an amazing James-Lipton-esque interview with Cain on such pressing topics as how to respond inspirationally to alien invasion and how to rescue the Constitution from renowned global terrorist Nicholas Cage.
posted by Rhaomi at 10:29 PM on July 3, 2012 [7 favorites]

I like Herman. Bad political views, but decent human being with a strong, self-deprecating sense of humor. He would be a better President than Romney, I think.

Herman Cain rallies the Earth to rise up against alien invasion.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 10:29 PM on July 3, 2012 [3 favorites]

Hey, remember when this guy was almost kinda worth talking about?
posted by Sys Rq at 10:29 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]

What's a "joint"? Oh, I get it, Herman Caine is black, so we gotta use Ebonics to be hip, funny and cool!
posted by KokuRyu at 10:31 PM on July 3, 2012

That was so bad, it gave me cancer
posted by dunkadunc at 10:35 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]

No, I used "joint" because I wanted to imply that anyone who was involved in any way with CainTV, would have to be high on some mighty good shit, including pizza man.
posted by dbiedny at 10:37 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]

This is satire, right? Right?!

The entire country is currently a "reality satire" show. What, nobody told you?
posted by dhartung at 10:42 PM on July 3, 2012 [11 favorites]

Satire has died, come back from the dead, and then died a second time.
posted by hellojed at 10:47 PM on July 3, 2012 [3 favorites]

What's funny about most humor is that it's the weak poking fun at the powerful.

What's not funny about 'conservative humor' is that it's the powerful poking fun at the weak.
posted by dunkadunc at 10:48 PM on July 3, 2012 [17 favorites]

That said, CainTV is hilarious because there is no bloody way in hell these people could be serious. He's a super deep-cover mole, right?
posted by dunkadunc at 10:53 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]

I don't understand why this doesn't cause bone curdling terror in everyone who isn't a moron. Validating these views by making it look like it's "on tv", even though it's the web, is a recipe for psychotic morons. Willful ignorance needs to be denied any foothold in any media.

Aside from that, isn't it hilarious that their tag line is "we're not stupid!" Also, that comedian claims "I am funny!" It must be opposite day in Herman land.

-V
posted by varion at 10:57 PM on July 3, 2012

I heard Cain hosting some radio show on the right-wing network that the owner of the office where I sometimes work listens to. There were plenty of "holy crap, really?" moments. But I guess that's the point.
posted by 1adam12 at 11:02 PM on July 3, 2012

Herman Cain: "I'm ready for the 'gotcha' questions and they're already starting to come. And when they ask me who is the president of Ubeki-beki-beki-beki-stan-stan I'm going to say, you know, I don't know. Do you kn..."

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES
PLEASE STAND BY
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:09 PM on July 3, 2012

would have to be high on some mighty good shit, including pizza man.

The secret is to ask for "extra oregano, on the side" when you call in your order.
posted by radwolf76 at 11:12 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]

Glenn Beck got his own "network" and now he's a virtual nonentity, sooooo...
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:20 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]

I still think Cain is just a big rich troll, and this ain't dissuading me none.
posted by TwelveTwo at 11:26 PM on July 3, 2012 [2 favorites]

Herman Cain is not a charming fellow, he is a bigot
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 11:30 PM on July 3, 2012 [5 favorites]

Hey, remember when this guy was almost kinda worth talking about?

Remember when this guy was the front-runner for the Republican nomination? Don't worry if you forgot, I'm determined to remind you. One might say obsessed.
posted by JHarris at 11:40 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]

Watching a bit of the preview it's evident that they're the same old attempt at conservative television, that is, yet another venue for repeating the message. And it's the kind of talking point channel where they're trying to be funny, so at best it'll be full of fail, and at worst it'll give us the kinds of unguarded moments that could potentially be highly embarrassing to the producers. Although I doubt that Cain himself has the sense of shame to recognize when something he's responsible for has crossed line, some of the other people working on this might.
posted by JHarris at 11:48 PM on July 3, 2012

I'll say this for Herman Cain -- he's the least-easily-despisable of that cohort. Which is not saying much, I admit.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:06 AM on July 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

Is anyone using the term "Surreality TV" yet?
posted by dunkadunc at 12:08 AM on July 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Hey, does anybody remember "The America Show", which was going to displace The Daily Show in the era of the citizen-media Republican ascendency?

Yes. Sort of like that.
posted by bicyclefish at 12:12 AM on July 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

From bicyclefish's video: "The Morning After Pill - Your License To Be A Hoe!".

My real-world objections to corporal punishment aside, whoever wrote that deserves to be beaten with a large stick.
posted by dunkadunc at 12:16 AM on July 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

After watching the Daily Show clips, Mr. Cain went up a notch in my book. That put him at notch 1.
posted by Drumhellz at 12:49 AM on July 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

"The time has come for a new kind of entertainment" - Apparently used car commercials are the wave of the future.
posted by outlandishmarxist at 1:51 AM on July 4, 2012

I won't be abel to watch this, seth I.
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:16 AM on July 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Let me also say that its nice to see that his presidential campaign ended in the result he wanted all along.
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:21 AM on July 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

Fuck Herman Cain.
posted by spitbull at 2:52 AM on July 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Now that is something I might watch Spitbull. See if Michael Clarke Duncan is free...
posted by pdxpogo at 4:44 AM on July 4, 2012

Let's have another thread about Sarah Palin. That was fun.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:59 AM on July 4, 2012

Glenn Beck has about 300,000 subscribers who pay a monthly fee to access his tv station over the web. Maybe Cain wants to make some of that money...
posted by wittgenstein at 5:57 AM on July 4, 2012

Here I am; Rock You like a Herman Cain
posted by Renoroc at 6:28 AM on July 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

Rachel Maddow: Herman Cain is performance art
posted by King Bee at 7:09 AM on July 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

That said, CainTV is hilarious because there is no bloody way in hell these people could be serious. He's a super deep-cover mole, right?

Like Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin?
posted by vhsiv at 8:03 AM on July 4, 2012

And Michael Steele?
posted by vhsiv at 8:05 AM on July 4, 2012

Word. Walk Like An Egyptian? Islamophobe dogwhistle.
posted by box at 9:16 AM on July 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

I hope it is on channel:
Nine, Nine, Nine.
posted by TwelveTwo at 10:31 AM on July 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

What's not funny about 'conservative humor' is that it's the powerful poking fun at the weak.

Maybe liberals don't find conservative humor funny because they don't conceive of government as "the powerful."
posted by John Cohen at 3:14 PM on July 4, 2012

John Cohen: "Maybe liberals don't find conservative humor funny because they don't conceive of government as "the powerful.""

Au contraire, "conservative comedy" portrays minorities, the poor, women and other marginalized groups as being nebulously powerful.
posted by dunkadunc at 4:39 PM on July 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

I've convinced myself that Herman Cain is secretly a monumental Tim Heidecker project. That's the only way my brain can make sense of it all.
posted by treepour at 6:25 PM on July 4, 2012

Au contraire, "conservative comedy" portrays minorities, the poor, women and other marginalized groups as being nebulously powerful.

When I was a boy I was taught to think of Englishmen as the five-meal people. They ate more frequently than the poor but sober Italians. Jews are rich and help each other through a secret web of mutual assistance. However, the followers of Ur-Fascism must also be convinced that they can overwhelm the enemies. Thus, by a continuous shifting of rhetorical focus, the enemies are at the same time too strong and too weak. Fascist governments are condemned to lose wars because they are constitutionally incapable of objectively evaluating the force of the enemy.
-Umberto Eco

posted by Pope Guilty at 3:45 AM on July 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

It is unfortunate that history does not support Eco's claim that this rhetorical behavior is unique to Fascism, or that it is especially prominent within such states in contrast to others.
posted by TwelveTwo at 8:47 AM on July 5, 2012