Buy your Anthrax Box today!
October 24, 2001 6:58 AM   Subscribe

Buy your Anthrax Box today! Oh, like this is gonna help. PAFITH!
posted by ZachsMind (17 comments total)
This is, of course, a joke.

posted by ColdChef at 7:01 AM on October 24, 2001

... and it only works when positioned in front of an American flag...
posted by jpburns at 7:11 AM on October 24, 2001

phew there are instructions on opening the mail - i was going to try to use my feet :-\
posted by monkeyJuice at 7:16 AM on October 24, 2001

..yours for just $300
posted by monkeyJuice at 7:17 AM on October 24, 2001

Maybe kids will start making these in shop class instead of those belt holders, plant holders, and mail boxes.
posted by Outlawyr at 7:22 AM on October 24, 2001

Anthrax came out with a box set? Does it have "Bring the Noise" with Public Enemy? Love that song!
posted by Rastafari at 7:30 AM on October 24, 2001

I kid you not, but the mail guy here at work asked for this exact thing last week. This of course after his "anthrax scare" which did bring the local fireman and police out. I will point out that he is not the sharpest individual.
The funniest thing he brought the suspect mail over to where I was talking to the hardware control guy, signing out a laptop, and he says, " is this the powder they are talking about?" to which the hardware guy responds" I don't know, but thanks for bring it over here."
I was laughing my ass off the rest of the day. Turned out to be coffee grounds or something like that.
posted by a3matrix at 7:33 AM on October 24, 2001

I don't think this is a joke. It was mentioned on the TV news this morning too. Well, I mean, it is a joke but I think the jokers doing this are very serious. Having the American flag hanging on the wall behind it. That's what really cracks me up. "You ain't American unless you buy one of these! Be just like the UNITED STATES Postal Service!"

Now, the idea of reinforcing the cockpit door on an airplane, I can get behind that. This here is just stupid.

The only way this would work is if each envelope was replaced by a large transparent box. Where you in your house put whatever you want into an Anthrax Box with the stupid gloves and you put a stamp and address on THAT, and then you give that to the mailman. But then you'd have to put some kinda lock on the access to the gloves so only the recipient could pick up the letter and read it. Then you'd have to use invisible ink so no one could sneak a peek.

Screw this. I'm gonna start using carrier pigeons.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:02 AM on October 24, 2001

Actually, I think you're supposed to get inside the box, like the bubble boy
posted by Outlawyr at 8:14 AM on October 24, 2001

I think it would make a cute aquarium and you can stoke the little fishies inside.
I'm gonna get me some fish. Someone mail me a box please.
posted by ginz at 8:18 AM on October 24, 2001

is that a box to MAKE anthrax in?
posted by th3ph17 at 8:42 AM on October 24, 2001

What is PAFITH, ZachsMind? It's not this, is it? (Genuine query!)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 9:07 AM on October 24, 2001

heh, $300, that looks like it cost $20 to make or something
posted by delmoi at 12:31 PM on October 24, 2001

Believe it or not I have a friend that works in an ad agency approached by an office supplies company about how to best take advantage of the Anthrax situation. "This could be Huge for Us!". So, stuff like this does happen - ideas like this are pitched - in fact, expect to see one of these at your post office very soon.
posted by xammerboy at 7:23 PM on October 24, 2001

Oooh, making money on the tragedy and suffering of others? It's the American (corporate) Way! Put the Anthraxbox makers on the sleaze list right after the people with the overpriced 'American Flags For Your Car' commericals.
posted by SenshiNeko at 11:49 PM on October 24, 2001

In the Washington Post today, Fear, Mother of Invention reveals the origin of the Anthrax Box, among other terrorism-spurred marketing schemes.
posted by Carol Anne at 10:24 AM on October 25, 2001

P.A.F.I.T.H.: "People are effed in the head."

I'm not sure if we're allowed to use the F word on the front page at present, and have gotten myself in enough trouble here in MeFi in the past. I'm often trying to consciously minimize the bile I have been known to perpetuate in my direction in here, but this leads to self-censorship that restricts my ability to properly communicate.

I figured the acronym would be sufficient, but I may be the only person who uses the acronym, so it was a poor attempt at communication in hindsight. My apologies.
posted by ZachsMind at 7:58 AM on October 28, 2001

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