I try to not make people cry. People make me cry.
July 9, 2012 8:53 AM Subscribe
This post was deleted for the following reason: Poster's Request -- Brandon Blatcher
Ok Cupid Enemies is one if the few " guilty pleasures" that actually makes me feel guilt for consuming it.
posted by The Whelk at 9:09 AM on July 9, 2012
posted by The Whelk at 9:09 AM on July 9, 2012
Well, limit yourself your guilty pleasure consumption to that and the souls or the righteous fallen and you should be okay.
posted by griphus at 9:13 AM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by griphus at 9:13 AM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
I sometimes wonder why I don't experience the Internet as the wild anarchy envisioned by the likes of Stephenson and Stross. Then I see OK Cupid Enemies and remember that I don't hang out in that part of the Internet.
posted by Cash4Lead at 9:23 AM on July 9, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by Cash4Lead at 9:23 AM on July 9, 2012 [3 favorites]
Hopefully some of these okc enemies will join and seek advice on how to improve their profiles on AskMetafilter. I don't think anyone's done that yet.
smiley
posted by iconomy at 9:54 AM on July 9, 2012 [3 favorites]
smiley
posted by iconomy at 9:54 AM on July 9, 2012 [3 favorites]
Leaving aside the abundant squicky in there, one of the sadder things I have just learned is that using the fill tool in some freeware photo editor to change your eye color to a solid 00FF00 or 0000FF is a thing.
posted by George_Spiggott at 9:59 AM on July 9, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by George_Spiggott at 9:59 AM on July 9, 2012 [4 favorites]
Does OK Cupid Enemies contain text pulled from the actual profiles of these people or text overlaid on unflattering pictures? It makes me sad either way.
posted by byanyothername at 10:09 AM on July 9, 2012
posted by byanyothername at 10:09 AM on July 9, 2012
“In a time where showing genitals on the internet is not shocking anymore, tears are a new form of pornography.”
posted by KokuRyu at 10:19 AM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by KokuRyu at 10:19 AM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
this is unbeatable (sfw)
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 10:51 AM on July 9, 2012 [17 favorites]
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 10:51 AM on July 9, 2012 [17 favorites]
Oh brave new world to have such people in it...
posted by sexyrobot at 10:55 AM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by sexyrobot at 10:55 AM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
I'm at work. Can someone explain what these are?
posted by Sangermaine at 10:55 AM on July 9, 2012
posted by Sangermaine at 10:55 AM on July 9, 2012
I have never been more excited than when I saw the phrase "Seinfeld Spiderman" was a clickable link.
posted by MikeyObviously at 10:57 AM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by MikeyObviously at 10:57 AM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
“In a time where showing genitals on the internet is not shocking anymore, tears are a new form of pornography.”
If that's a trailer for a movie, I wanna see it.
posted by yerfatma at 10:59 AM on July 9, 2012
If that's a trailer for a movie, I wanna see it.
posted by yerfatma at 10:59 AM on July 9, 2012
I'm at work. Can someone explain what these are?
No. No I can't. Just walk away and forget this, man. Just walk away.
posted by happyroach at 11:05 AM on July 9, 2012 [4 favorites]
No. No I can't. Just walk away and forget this, man. Just walk away.
posted by happyroach at 11:05 AM on July 9, 2012 [4 favorites]
Seinfeld Spiderman
To have the link actually go to Christian Bale was icing.
posted by DU at 11:21 AM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
To have the link actually go to Christian Bale was icing.
posted by DU at 11:21 AM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
I'm amazed that half the people in the world are even datable...including me, I guess.
posted by maxwelton at 11:29 AM on July 9, 2012
posted by maxwelton at 11:29 AM on July 9, 2012
The stupid shit people do on the internet to make themselves feel relevant.
posted by Redfield at 11:38 AM on July 9, 2012
posted by Redfield at 11:38 AM on July 9, 2012
>OK Cupid Enemies blog doesn't contain genital nudity
No, but the bottom of page 2 contains the bellies of 5 hairy men squished together with another guy's face in the centre, at about crotch level. NSFW and a bizarre image.
posted by Listener at 11:40 AM on July 9, 2012
No, but the bottom of page 2 contains the bellies of 5 hairy men squished together with another guy's face in the centre, at about crotch level. NSFW and a bizarre image.
posted by Listener at 11:40 AM on July 9, 2012
Just logged onto my Ok Cupid to see my enemies. Turns out my enemies are hot moms.
posted by MikeyObviously at 11:59 AM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by MikeyObviously at 11:59 AM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
I just created an OK Cupid account to find some enemies.
A few things in common: they all hate the gays and "believe in" the phrase "keep it real."
posted by mrgrimm at 12:13 PM on July 9, 2012
A few things in common: they all hate the gays and "believe in" the phrase "keep it real."
posted by mrgrimm at 12:13 PM on July 9, 2012
this is unbeatable (sfw)
By the looks of him, dude is probably ON THIS VERY WEBSITE.
posted by octobersurprise at 1:54 PM on July 9, 2012
By the looks of him, dude is probably ON THIS VERY WEBSITE.
posted by octobersurprise at 1:54 PM on July 9, 2012
This image pretty much captures people I've known who described themselves as "multi-instrumentalists, you know, like Prince". (slightly nsfw)
posted by stagewhisper at 2:29 PM on July 9, 2012
posted by stagewhisper at 2:29 PM on July 9, 2012
> this is unbeatable (sfw)
11/07/09 -- NEVAR FORGET!
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 3:18 PM on July 9, 2012
11/07/09 -- NEVAR FORGET!
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 3:18 PM on July 9, 2012
there is a lot of skin
Ohhhhhhhhh. That could only be more awesome if it ended with "Ladies only, please."
posted by psoas at 4:25 PM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
Ohhhhhhhhh. That could only be more awesome if it ended with "Ladies only, please."
posted by psoas at 4:25 PM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
There are things in these links that make me feel like, "Hey, I must not be doing so bad!" but there are also things that in struggling to process them into things that happen in this world make me think that decency and compassion is lost because it had no chance in the first place. There are even things that make me think, "This person needs help! Now!" but there's nothing I can do on so many levels. I dunno, man.
posted by cmoj at 4:58 PM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by cmoj at 4:58 PM on July 9, 2012 [1 favorite]
How is this standout not the first OKC Enemies profile linked?
"LOL"
posted by BigSky at 6:35 PM on July 9, 2012
"LOL"
posted by BigSky at 6:35 PM on July 9, 2012
OK Cupid Enemies just made me feel so much better about my entire life.
posted by a hat out of hell at 7:28 PM on July 9, 2012
posted by a hat out of hell at 7:28 PM on July 9, 2012
I've just finished scouring my own profile to see what pull quotes could be matched with what photos to make me seem like a raging psychopath. I'm relieved to report that I could be spun into a pretty fucking weird dude, but not one that would fit into the Buffalo Bill gallery this guy's got going.
However, the fact that my profile couldn't be misrepresented as that of a dangerous lunatic makes me fear this site that much more.
posted by cmoj at 7:54 PM on July 9, 2012
However, the fact that my profile couldn't be misrepresented as that of a dangerous lunatic makes me fear this site that much more.
posted by cmoj at 7:54 PM on July 9, 2012
The contrast between the borderline-pretentious this-is-an-art-project Webcam Tears lady and the OKC Enemies guy ("I'm just an asshole who had a funny idea") is adorable.
posted by ook at 6:21 AM on July 10, 2012
posted by ook at 6:21 AM on July 10, 2012
How is this standout not the first OKC Enemies profile linked?
Keep looking.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:29 AM on July 10, 2012
Keep looking.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:29 AM on July 10, 2012
Does OK Cupid Enemies contain text pulled from the actual profiles of these people or text overlaid on unflattering pictures? It makes me sad either way.
I believe it is actual text. It wouldn't work otherwise.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:30 AM on July 10, 2012
I believe it is actual text. It wouldn't work otherwise.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:30 AM on July 10, 2012
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