For those who like to ride the horse in front of TV and in home comfort of their own space
July 24, 2012 9:48 AM   Subscribe

Horse Riding Fitness Ace Power! [YouTube, NSFW] (maybe not safe for home either).
posted by obscurator (29 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
I am pretty sure "crotchy" isn't a word, but it certainly describes whatever this is.

This does seem like a natural progression from the Shakeweight.
posted by louche mustachio at 9:57 AM on July 24, 2012 [5 favorites]

Now that's my idea of an Excellent Horse-like Lady!
posted by benito.strauss at 10:00 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

That's not really the motion involved in riding a horse at all. It's much more like... er. Okay, yeah, 'riding a horse.'

My favorite part of this video is the part where a woman tries, and fails, to simulate horseback-riding without the Ace Power apparatus. That's right – don't even try to pretend to ride a horse without our weird-ass chair! You will fall on the floor!
posted by koeselitz at 10:10 AM on July 24, 2012 [2 favorites]

Those ladies should be riding side sadle.
posted by mazola at 10:12 AM on July 24, 2012


I was REALLY hoping it was a sequel to Dancing man wearing a horse mask cooks wild mushrooms [N S F W seriously!]
posted by rebent at 10:20 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

Needs more Chuck Norris.
posted by FelliniBlank at 10:22 AM on July 24, 2012

Hey, that equestrian seems to be posting off her hands, hips rising out of order... Check that stirrup length pronto.

The device: It's the grown up Inchworm! It needs a face. It might be able to help a person who knows the motion to keep up some core during a horsie-free period. It doesn't give a person the same platform and contact points that horse does in any discipline. But you all knew that...
posted by drowsy at 10:36 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

I don't really know what it is they're supposed to be doing, but I like it. :D
posted by zarq at 10:38 AM on July 24, 2012

Combine this with a Shake Weight and you've got something.
posted by fungible at 10:47 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

Testicle torture?
posted by Splunge at 10:48 AM on July 24, 2012

Oh man I needed that. Thanks.
posted by dobie at 10:49 AM on July 24, 2012

When I was learning to Trot I had a 10 year younger, attractive, female, instructor; me being a late thirties male.... I was having issues as most new riders do with the motion and she said "Look it is easy... it is like riding a man..." I looked over and laughed out loud when I saw how red she was. [embarrassing fact that piece of advice allowed me to get the motion correct]. This thing, is stupid though.
posted by mrgroweler at 10:50 AM on July 24, 2012 [2 favorites]

I was waiting for a real NSFW moment, but was disappointed. Maybe it's lost in translation.

Though it does look around the 4:35 moment that a frustrated husband may resort the device satisfactorily as a result of his wife's rejection in bed.

Around fifteen years ago, there was a commercial for a similar exercise device on US TV that was even more amusingly suggestive. It had moving handles integrated so that the user could grab and pull back toward the thrusting hips. The ad was goofy enough without the segment showing a man in a cowboy outfit riding the device.
posted by 2N2222 at 10:51 AM on July 24, 2012

There's something about that ad that's soooo American but then also somehow too American for the actual United States.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:55 AM on July 24, 2012

The NSFW tag was kind of a hedge, honestly. Maybe your particular workplace abides, and I can faintly imagine a boss like Douglas Reynholm finding the HRFAP! much more productive than, say, electric sex pants.
posted by obscurator at 11:15 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

If the seat vibrates, I'll head over to Amazon and buy it with one click. Exercise AND masturbation? It's like Christmas in July.
posted by Kokopuff at 11:43 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

Well, you can't spell Fitness Ace Power! without FAP..
posted by obscurator at 11:47 AM on July 24, 2012 [2 favorites]

Somebody please send one to Ellen!
posted by vytae at 11:51 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

Hope Swede Mason gets a hold of this.
posted by stonepharisee at 11:59 AM on July 24, 2012

I was commissioned to build something like this once, only it had more motors/leather/buckles...
posted by the_artificer at 12:08 PM on July 24, 2012 [2 favorites]

Great timing! My admin asked me just this morning if I needed a new office chair.
posted by Blue Meanie at 12:25 PM on July 24, 2012

What really sells it is the look of cheerful determination on their faces as they ride, ride, ride to nowhere.

I remember something like this being sold as upscale exercise equipment five or six years ago, but it had a mechanical assist built into the motion and was presumably intended for lazier people.
posted by Kevin Street at 1:05 PM on July 24, 2012

Looks like fun to me.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 2:06 PM on July 24, 2012

The NSFW tag was kind of a hedge, honestly.

Ya, can we not do that. Let's just keep NSFW warnings for actual traditionally NSFW content. Or better yet, let's just describe what people will find in the link and let them decide for themselves.
posted by Chuckles at 3:21 PM on July 24, 2012

Am I the only one here who remembers the iGallop, the Magic Rider, and the iJoy Twist? (There was one more, and I swear, there was a video of a half-dozen women in cowgirl stripper outfits dancing to alt-countryish Muzak around a barn set, mounting and dismounting their fitness machines, but I can't remember the product name and I am afraid of what I'll find with the obvious search terms.)
posted by gingerest at 5:20 PM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

Well, that might possibly give me ASUH POWA!, but I know where the REAL power lies...
posted by Samizdata at 6:10 PM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]

Well, that was frenetic. I think I'll stick to my current regimen - sitting on my old horse buddy reading a book while he dozes in the paddock.

Neither of us are very keen on exercise.
posted by Catch at 7:44 PM on July 24, 2012

Ahh, youtube has clearly noticed the metafilter referrers, the top related link is Equestrian Pie.
posted by jeffburdges at 5:34 AM on July 25, 2012

> Combine this with a Shake Weight and you've got something.

Might work well with a Dancing UFO.
posted by ardgedee at 3:53 AM on July 28, 2012

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