October 31, 2001
7:16 AM   Subscribe

First they turned your ketchup green. Then, they turned your ketchup purple. Undaunted, Parkay has introduced that its margarine is now available in... pink and blue!
posted by hijinx (26 comments total)
Like the Heinz products, the Big Squeeze Parkay is targeted at kids. I guess I can understand the ketchup move a little more - it's a very popular condiment. But margarine? I'm guessing that margarine wasn't exactly a hit with the kids, so they made it bright - now kids will love it!

Just don't change the color of Fluff. Please.
posted by hijinx at 7:16 AM on October 31, 2001

I like it when an article is written about a fundamentally physical issue (like pink butter), yet provides no pictures to compliment the topic. Granted, there may have been red tape in showing pictures of the product, but if you're gonna write an article about pink pancakes, show me some f'ing pink pancakes, suntimes!

I hope it looks like this! Mmmm....
posted by Hankins at 7:38 AM on October 31, 2001

Is "margarinery" a word?
posted by spilon at 8:02 AM on October 31, 2001

Has anyone seen the purple ketchup in the stores yet? I've been looking for it next to the green stuff, but so far it hasn't appeared. I read that the best way to get kids to eat foods now is to add a "toy factor" to them... but will these kids grow up used to the purple and blue stuff, only to be disappointed when they're at a restaurant that only has the old-fashioned kinds of condiments? We could be witnessing the birth of a whole new type of eating disorder.
posted by barkingmoose at 8:02 AM on October 31, 2001

Blue. Food. Doesn't mix.

Someone with experience in color psychology can tell you why, but it's just one of those tenets of the craft.
posted by wackybrit at 8:15 AM on October 31, 2001

I didn't realize getting kids to eat ketchup had ever proved difficult in the past. Perhaps in a generation or two, kids will be wowed and amazed when Heinz releases its shocking new red color. But all I want to know is: will blue margarine turn my corn-on-the cob green?
posted by UnReality at 8:19 AM on October 31, 2001

i want glow-in-the-dark margarine.
posted by tolkhan at 8:24 AM on October 31, 2001

margarine has a messed up history - back in the day, the butter industry sued to prevent the margarine companies from adding dyes to make margarine yellow (it's natural color is white), so when you bought margarine it came with food dye that you yourself would have to mix with the margarine so you could have something that looked like butter. maybe they should go back to that, and include lots of different colors of food dye. imagine, swirly, tie-dyed margarine.
posted by panopticon at 8:34 AM on October 31, 2001

barkingmoose: Joshua, our six-year-old son, enthusiastically eats the traditional red stuff as well as the new colors. Purple as well as green is available in SC now. It's a horrid shade midway between lavender and plum, really. But hey, he likes it on his fish sticks, so who am I to argue?

I'm waiting for DayGlo Orange mustard, myself.
posted by alumshubby at 8:38 AM on October 31, 2001

ugh. As if margarine wasn't bad enough. Once I accidentally made butter trying to whip cream by hand. To make margarine you need a machine powerful enough to convince oil and water to mix. Oil and water don't mix...unless we smash them together enough that it takes years for them to separate. What does that do inside a body? I've posted food coloring rants in the past so I'll save it for now, but some things were just not meant to be eaten.

The simpler the food, the healthier the body.
posted by joemaller at 8:59 AM on October 31, 2001

I saw the pink a while ago, but there was no mention of the blue...

Can't wait to try it on popcorn!!!
posted by adampsyche at 9:03 AM on October 31, 2001

Green ketchup was icky enough!
posted by Carol Anne at 9:17 AM on October 31, 2001

I envision a post-modern future in which the colors of ketchup correspond to the ancient notion of different humours of the body...or is that gross?
posted by Kafkaesque at 9:28 AM on October 31, 2001

I cant wait till Heinz rereleases Heinz classic red!
posted by computerface at 9:32 AM on October 31, 2001

My kids are enthusiastic about anything new and different. They enjoyed green ketchup ("It tastes just like the red kind, Mommy!") and asked for a bottle of the purple when they saw it. My kids will eat just about anything with ketchup (cauliflower, even, which I think is disgusting but they love) so there was a legit reason to buy the green and purple because it offered further incentive for them to eat food they otherwise might not. I can't imagine what incentive pink and blue margarine offers except for overusing it (like the kids in the article did) and making food taste bad. We'll be leaving it on the shelves.
posted by Dreama at 9:42 AM on October 31, 2001

barkingmoose -- just saw purple ketchup at our supermarket near Boston this weekend, so be hopeful.

hijinx -- perhaps you've never seen Raspberry Fluff, which is bright pink! Lots of fun Fluff stuff can be found here.
posted by briank at 10:14 AM on October 31, 2001

Thanks for the purple ketchup sightings. I read about that stuff a couple months ago. I'll keep my eye out.

Raspberry Fluff is actually raspberry-flavored, isn't it? Changing something's color to correspond to a new flavor seems like cheating to me — I'm looking for foods with completely random colors that don't happen in nature. But for some reason I've never tried Raspberry Fluff... is it good in hot chocolate?
posted by barkingmoose at 12:31 PM on October 31, 2001

Blue. Food. Doesn't mix.

Then you'll be having none of my homemade blueberry cobbler, friend. And I suppose a hearty bowl of BooBerry Crunch is out of the question for you as well.
posted by bradlands at 12:40 PM on October 31, 2001

blue butter, oh joy!
po's blue-food fetish expands,
touches all the world
posted by po at 12:43 PM on October 31, 2001

Touch from Po's fetish
is not necessarily
a good kind of touch
posted by Kafkaesque at 1:36 PM on October 31, 2001

I actually saw this stuff at the store last night. Picked it up, pondered it, thought I would actually buy it if it came in a "sugary-butter" flavor for putting on toast.
posted by tpoh.org at 2:15 PM on October 31, 2001

Oh, and I also attended a Halloween dinner that had hotdogs with all the condiments - but the only ketchup they had was the green and purple stuff. It was a bit of a mindf**k ... is it just me, or is the "redness" mentally part of the flavor for you, too? I couldn't bring myself to put purple on my hotdogs, so I used the green and hid it under the relish.

This stuff has great prank potential though. Use them (the ketchup that is) instead of icing on pastries and wait for the reaction.
posted by tpoh.org at 2:19 PM on October 31, 2001

*falls down giggling hysterically*

tubby tustard! tubby tustard!
posted by po at 3:28 PM on October 31, 2001

kafkaesque, perhaps,
jealous of po's blue butter
bring on the haiku!
posted by po at 4:37 PM on October 31, 2001

Po, my naive friend
if you want to impress me
you'll need mauve Parkay.
posted by Kafkaesque at 4:45 PM on October 31, 2001

Alas, mauve Parkay
Is not geared toward the demo
Kraft works hard to snare
posted by Dreama at 7:21 PM on October 31, 2001

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