The horror!

September 26, 2012 12:32 PM

Life's actual supervillains....if they were enshrined in comic book form, of course.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies (29 comments total)

I expected the Koch brothers wearing capes.
posted by Muttoneer at 12:36 PM on September 26, 2012 [22 favorites]

The metabolism one could not be more true.
posted by tommasz at 12:37 PM on September 26, 2012 [8 favorites]

No Dick Cheney. But still excellent.
posted by Malor at 12:40 PM on September 26, 2012

Yeah, I was really expecting to see some bankers in there.
Still funny, though.

It's time to go battle Metabolism now.
posted by bashos_frog at 12:41 PM on September 26, 2012

It's time to go battle Metabolism now.

Working out would be so much more enjoyable if I thought about it as a battle against a supervillain. I'd be worried about my cape getting caught in the treadmill, though.
posted by Rangeboy at 12:45 PM on September 26, 2012

Working out would be so much more enjoyable if I thought about it as a battle against a supervillain. I'd be worried about my cape getting caught in the treadmill, though.

Um ..sometimes ...some people who have motivation problems have to force themselves to the gym by pretending if they don't they wont make the cut for the X-Men or so I have heard.
posted by The Whelk at 12:49 PM on September 26, 2012 [25 favorites]

I'd be worried about my cape getting caught in the treadmill, though

NO CAPES!
posted by the man of twists and turns at 12:51 PM on September 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

oh man, "fat xmen" is possibly the worst google search query.
posted by boo_radley at 12:54 PM on September 26, 2012 [4 favorites]

I like to pretend I'm training for the hunger games, myself.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:56 PM on September 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

Huh, guess I'm not the only one with a middle school sweatpants "incident."
posted by the_artificer at 12:58 PM on September 26, 2012

Metafilter: oh man, "fat xmen" is possibly the worst google search query.
posted by The Whelk at 1:00 PM on September 26, 2012

LET'S GIVE CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE DEPT.: The link should be to the original source: College Humor, where the creator, Caldwell Tanner is the site's most reliable asset.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:01 PM on September 26, 2012 [12 favorites]

Well I found this under 'Sexy Batman Costume'.
posted by Mister_A at 1:05 PM on September 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

Mister_A: "Well I found this under 'Sexy Batman Costume'."

False. All batman costumes are sexy.
posted by boo_radley at 1:06 PM on September 26, 2012 [7 favorites]

"Huh, guess I'm not the only one with a middle school sweatpants "incident.""


A PUPPY CALLED PUBERTY
It was like keeping a puppy in your underpants
A secret puppy you weren’t allowed to show to anyone
Not even your best friend or your worst enemy

You wanted to pat him stroke him cuddle him
All the time but you weren’t supposed to touch him

He only slept for five minutes at a time
Then he’d suddenly perk up his head
In the middle of school medical inspection
And always on bus rides
So you had to climb down from the upper deck
All bent double to smuggle the puppy off the bus
Without the buxom conductress spotting
Your wicked and ticketless stowaway.

Jumping up, wet-nosed, eagerly wagging –
He only stopped being a nuisance
When you were alone together
Pretending to be doing your homework
But really gazing at each other
Through hot and hazy daydreams

Of those beautiful schoolgirls on the bus
With kittens bouncing in their sweaters.

-Adrian Mitchell
posted by Blasdelb at 1:09 PM on September 26, 2012 [16 favorites]

I see no sign of the foulest nemesis of the middle-aged male: Nasal and Ear Hair Man
posted by Decani at 1:10 PM on September 26, 2012 [4 favorites]

I see no sign of the foulest nemesis of the middle-aged male: Nasal and Ear Hair Man

Tanner does touch on this theme elsewhere.
posted by Kabanos at 1:16 PM on September 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

I see no sign of the foulest nemesis of the middle-aged male: Nasal and Ear Hair Man

Or his middle-aged female sidekick: The (hot) Flash.
posted by headnsouth at 2:25 PM on September 26, 2012 [2 favorites]

The circle of life... Just became a square!
posted by Artw at 2:39 PM on September 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

Huh I thought it would be guys from Goldman Sachs and Fred Godwin and so on.
posted by yoHighness at 2:44 PM on September 26, 2012

I was hoping for Vladimir Putin, who already exists as a real-life and comic book supervillain.

Here and here.
posted by Sleeper at 2:57 PM on September 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

So did I and I had already seen this link!
posted by brundlefly at 2:57 PM on September 26, 2012

I admit, I was hoping for serial murderers, dictators/politicians and other infamous celebrities. ..Metafilter bait and switch strikes again!
posted by Chuffy at 3:03 PM on September 26, 2012

Since there was no Cheney, I feel like I was Dickrolled.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:36 PM on September 26, 2012 [3 favorites]

I would have liked this more if it didn't resemble my life so much. I realize it's everyone's life to a degree, but that's not the part that bothers me.
posted by doctor_negative at 6:10 PM on September 26, 2012

My nemesis.
posted by Mojojojo at 6:21 PM on September 26, 2012

So who would win in a fight to the death? Goldman Sachs? Or Puberty?
posted by cacofonie at 6:43 PM on September 26, 2012

Um ..sometimes ...some people who have motivation problems have to force themselves to the gym by pretending if they don't they wont make the cut for the X-Men or so I have heard.

or just pretend to be Steve Rogers I have the SSR shirt
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 7:13 PM on September 26, 2012

oh man, "fat xmen" is possibly the worst google search query.

Why, when warned, did I still click?
posted by psoas at 8:03 PM on September 26, 2012