Cats Are Weird
October 13, 2012 8:04 AM Subscribe
Inflatable Unicorn Horn For Cats. That is all.
AWE SOME. Oh and that cat looks totally happy.
posted by Yellow at 8:08 AM on October 13, 2012 [7 favorites]
posted by Yellow at 8:08 AM on October 13, 2012 [7 favorites]
Inflatable narwhal tusk for cats sold separately.
posted by phunniemee at 8:09 AM on October 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by phunniemee at 8:09 AM on October 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
I will get you for this.
Oh yes I will.
posted by goethean at 8:12 AM on October 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
Oh yes I will.
posted by goethean at 8:12 AM on October 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
If you want to sell it, you should probably choose a less "I swear to God if you press send you are dead buddy" cat to promote it.
However, this will not prevent me from pleading with Shepherd to get one for our youngest cat.
posted by Kitteh at 8:14 AM on October 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
However, this will not prevent me from pleading with Shepherd to get one for our youngest cat.
posted by Kitteh at 8:14 AM on October 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
Reminds me of that thing where if you die in your apartment, your cat will eat your face.
Oh course, an inflatable narwhal tusk might interfere with that.
posted by goethean at 8:15 AM on October 13, 2012
Oh course, an inflatable narwhal tusk might interfere with that.
posted by goethean at 8:15 AM on October 13, 2012
I like to think the extra several days for processing involve rainbow and magic dust application.
posted by gnomeloaf at 8:15 AM on October 13, 2012
posted by gnomeloaf at 8:15 AM on October 13, 2012
One of these days the cats are going to make us pay for this.
It will probably involve poop.
posted by The Whelk at 8:22 AM on October 13, 2012 [3 favorites]
It will probably involve poop.
posted by The Whelk at 8:22 AM on October 13, 2012 [3 favorites]
How is it held on?
posted by Bovine Love at 8:23 AM on October 13, 2012
posted by Bovine Love at 8:23 AM on October 13, 2012
Way to ask for getting one's throat slit in the middle of the night!
posted by leslies at 8:24 AM on October 13, 2012
posted by leslies at 8:24 AM on October 13, 2012
I desperately need these for my cats. Then I will let them go outside.
Hmm. Do the horns come with little video cameras in them? Marketing opportunity!
posted by jeather at 8:29 AM on October 13, 2012
Hmm. Do the horns come with little video cameras in them? Marketing opportunity!
posted by jeather at 8:29 AM on October 13, 2012
And, relatedly, the comments are great:
A mysterious cloaked figure seems to be flying around, trying to chase my cat and drink its blood, presumably to maintain a tenuous hold on physical existence. I want to take this opportunity to remind this figure that slaying a cat wearing a unicorn horn is a monstrous thing.The blood of a cat wearing an inflatable unicorn horn will keep you alive, even if you are an inch from death, but at a terrible price.
Or:
I thought it would be fun if my cat looked like a magical unicorn of medieval lore. Not so fun is that he has taken this unicorn mythology a bit too seriously around my girlfriend. Lately, whenever she approaches or tries to pet him, he darts off wildly in a rage. "Only a maiden pure may tame the unicorn!" he says. Jackass.
Or:
I can't wait for him to take his catnicorn horn and mount his majestic roomba steed to joust the dog in the ultimate battle for the living room.
Mr. Whiskers gives this catnicorn horn two polydactyl thumbs up!
I never am creative enough to think up clever reviews, though.
posted by jeather at 8:32 AM on October 13, 2012 [7 favorites]
A mysterious cloaked figure seems to be flying around, trying to chase my cat and drink its blood, presumably to maintain a tenuous hold on physical existence. I want to take this opportunity to remind this figure that slaying a cat wearing a unicorn horn is a monstrous thing.The blood of a cat wearing an inflatable unicorn horn will keep you alive, even if you are an inch from death, but at a terrible price.
Or:
I thought it would be fun if my cat looked like a magical unicorn of medieval lore. Not so fun is that he has taken this unicorn mythology a bit too seriously around my girlfriend. Lately, whenever she approaches or tries to pet him, he darts off wildly in a rage. "Only a maiden pure may tame the unicorn!" he says. Jackass.
Or:
I can't wait for him to take his catnicorn horn and mount his majestic roomba steed to joust the dog in the ultimate battle for the living room.
Mr. Whiskers gives this catnicorn horn two polydactyl thumbs up!
I never am creative enough to think up clever reviews, though.
posted by jeather at 8:32 AM on October 13, 2012 [7 favorites]
No one noticed the cat tank shown as a related item? I like that even better.
posted by me & my monkey at 8:58 AM on October 13, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by me & my monkey at 8:58 AM on October 13, 2012 [3 favorites]
I know the model. Her name is Spyke, and she purrs more and louder than any cat I have ever met. She also kind of drools, so when she's purring she occasionally makes this super loud purr-slurp noise.
Last time we were visiting, she tried to sleep on Mr. Mustachio's face.
Spyke's mom is the model for The CrazyCat Lady Game. (They have a normal amount of cats, but her boyfriend is a metal dude, and you know about metal dudes and their cats.)
posted by louche mustachio at 9:01 AM on October 13, 2012 [6 favorites]
Last time we were visiting, she tried to sleep on Mr. Mustachio's face.
Spyke's mom is the model for The CrazyCat Lady Game. (They have a normal amount of cats, but her boyfriend is a metal dude, and you know about metal dudes and their cats.)
posted by louche mustachio at 9:01 AM on October 13, 2012 [6 favorites]
Ooh, thanks for inspiring my Halloween costume. Pissed-off unicorn cat.
posted by three_red_balloons at 9:14 AM on October 13, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by three_red_balloons at 9:14 AM on October 13, 2012 [4 favorites]
I feel like this entire situation occurred via a series of whimsical mishaps when an innocent cat fancier bid sight unseen on a shipping container full of factory reject/mislabeled adult toys.
posted by elizardbits at 9:20 AM on October 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by elizardbits at 9:20 AM on October 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
The "frequently bought together" suggestion on that page: Inflatable Unicorn Horn for Cats and Inflatable Unicorn Horn for Humans
posted by saturday_morning at 9:25 AM on October 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by saturday_morning at 9:25 AM on October 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
I am looking at that unicorn sweater and thinking "I have beheld greatness".
posted by elizardbits at 9:30 AM on October 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 9:30 AM on October 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
No one noticed the cat tank shown as a related item?
And on the cat tank page, Frequently Bought Together: cat tank, cat fire engine, cat fighter jet. Only $98.05 for the set.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 9:39 AM on October 13, 2012
And on the cat tank page, Frequently Bought Together: cat tank, cat fire engine, cat fighter jet. Only $98.05 for the set.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 9:39 AM on October 13, 2012
CAT FORCE FIVE
posted by The Whelk at 9:41 AM on October 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 9:41 AM on October 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
Only $98.05 for the set.
dressing things up in whimsical ironic gimmicks makes people feel clever and want to spend money
i wanted to say i'd solved the homeless problem but then i remembered people don't think hobos are cute :(
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 10:10 AM on October 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
i wanted to say i'd solved the homeless problem but then i remembered people don't think hobos are cute :(
Some people.
posted by louche mustachio at 10:20 AM on October 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
Some people.
posted by louche mustachio at 10:20 AM on October 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
"Cats love it!"
I am a lawyer, and I can say with certainty that based on the picture, this is blatantly false advertising.
okay technically it falls within the vague "puffery" exception
posted by Curious Artificer at 10:23 AM on October 13, 2012
I am a lawyer, and I can say with certainty that based on the picture, this is blatantly false advertising.
okay technically it falls within the vague "puffery" exception
posted by Curious Artificer at 10:23 AM on October 13, 2012
(Spyke probably did love it, because ATTENTION ATTENTION ATTENTION. But Spyke is not a representative of all cats. She's a special cat.)
posted by louche mustachio at 10:28 AM on October 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by louche mustachio at 10:28 AM on October 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
A unicorn horn for a cat? Tell me more.
posted by idiopath at 11:25 AM on October 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by idiopath at 11:25 AM on October 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
I hope y'all have browsed through the customer image gallery. It is truly magical.
that cat should be the dictionary illustration for "nonplussed"
posted by fraula at 11:31 AM on October 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
that cat should be the dictionary illustration for "nonplussed"
posted by fraula at 11:31 AM on October 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
A plastic horn for your pussy? That's some pretty tenuous "plausible deniability" for your sex toy purchases.
posted by yoink at 2:03 PM on October 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by yoink at 2:03 PM on October 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
Thank god I signed up for that Amazon Prime membership.
posted by PuppyCat at 3:05 PM on October 13, 2012
posted by PuppyCat at 3:05 PM on October 13, 2012
I've always wanted a pet narwhal but have neither the time, money nor pool-space to keep one as a pet, all I have is this lousy tabby cat. Then, through some sort of cosmic synchronicity, I happened upon this product and knew what had to be done.
I found the strap, to hold the horn to the cats head, a little flimsy. Luckily I found an open minded veterinarian who was willing to attempt grafting the horn to the cat. The procedure was expensive, more than I expected to pay for a cat-narwhal conversion, but I don't blame amazon or the manufacturer for any of that seeing as I went behind the scope of this products intended purposes.
Someone's getting poop in his shoe every day!
posted by arcticseal at 3:05 PM on October 13, 2012
I found the strap, to hold the horn to the cats head, a little flimsy. Luckily I found an open minded veterinarian who was willing to attempt grafting the horn to the cat. The procedure was expensive, more than I expected to pay for a cat-narwhal conversion, but I don't blame amazon or the manufacturer for any of that seeing as I went behind the scope of this products intended purposes.
Someone's getting poop in his shoe every day!
posted by arcticseal at 3:05 PM on October 13, 2012
Yeah, that cat looks appropriately unhappy...
posted by limeonaire at 4:13 PM on October 13, 2012
posted by limeonaire at 4:13 PM on October 13, 2012
How is it held on?
dark magicks, the blood of innocents, and an elastic band.
posted by elizardbits at 7:59 PM on October 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
dark magicks, the blood of innocents, and an elastic band.
posted by elizardbits at 7:59 PM on October 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
I am staying with a friend who has the world's most cranky, depressed, emo, hates-the-world cat. I really want to see her attempt to put this on that cat.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:39 PM on October 13, 2012
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:39 PM on October 13, 2012
In stock
posted by stormpooper at 5:00 AM on October 15, 2012
posted by stormpooper at 5:00 AM on October 15, 2012
The intersection of the weird and wonderful of the Internet - smart-ass Amazon reviews, silly things to do with pets, online shopping, unicorns, and cats.
posted by undue influence at 5:18 AM on October 15, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by undue influence at 5:18 AM on October 15, 2012 [1 favorite]
Spyke has more feelings about this horn thing
posted by louche mustachio at 1:29 AM on October 16, 2012
posted by louche mustachio at 1:29 AM on October 16, 2012
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posted by clavdivs at 8:07 AM on October 13, 2012