Being the second-best horseshoe pitcher in the world is not a profit-making enterprise
October 17, 2012 9:16 PM   Subscribe

Having his colon removed was one of the best things that ever happened to him, Simmons says. It stopped his Crohn’s symptoms, which allowed him pitch horseshoes competitively again. So having his colon removed was easy and nothing compared to the long list of troubles he would face in the 2000s, after he had become a world champion.
posted by Chrysostom (18 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
Unreadable. Too bad, because the quote you posted sounds awesome.
posted by Sternmeyer at 9:59 PM on October 17, 2012

Sternmeyer- try reloading. There's a weird bug with that page where the white box behind the text sometimes doesn't draw
posted by bhnyc at 10:04 PM on October 17, 2012

Looks like the https needs to be removed from the URL.
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 10:06 PM on October 17, 2012

[Okay, fixed https to http; carry on. ]
posted by taz (staff) at 10:10 PM on October 17, 2012

That was amazing. Thank you.
posted by Slinga at 10:17 PM on October 17, 2012

That was a good read. Thanks.
posted by mosk at 11:57 PM on October 17, 2012

Taz, shouldn't that be "https:" to "http;" to be more apropos to the topic at hand?
posted by BrotherCaine at 12:21 AM on October 18, 2012 [8 favorites]

Heroic, and all the more so because of the small amounts of glory and cash in a 'dying sport'.

Crohn’s disease, an irritable bowel disease

Not quite right, it's an inflammatory bowel disease. Irritable bowel syndrome is a different thing.
posted by Segundus at 1:05 AM on October 18, 2012 [6 favorites]

I'm not gonna read this right not, I'm going to go eat a high fiber breakfast, drink a black coffee, and treasure my colon.
posted by C.A.S. at 5:05 AM on October 18, 2012

If they'd removed half his colon;

(a Michael O'Donaghue joke).
posted by 0rison at 7:35 AM on October 18, 2012

I had a friend who had her colon re-sectioned, and I almost got her one of those vintage typewriter key silver necklaces with a semicolon, but then I decided her sense of humor wasn't quite askew enough to appreciate it.
posted by BrotherCaine at 7:40 AM on October 18, 2012 [3 favorites]

I remember back in journalism school when one of my professors got unusually irate at what she saw as our lack of enthusiasm for a supposedly boring project. She shared a brief piece (I wish I could find it...) about an old woman waiting for a boat. That was it: an old woman waiting for a boat.

"You're going to have to write these kinds of stories. You're going to have to make something out of nothing, talk to people other people might not pay attention to, make these people seem just as important as a major public figure. You might as well make it interesting."

We had all gotten into journalism (a real growth career, especially in 2008 -- ha!) because we wanted to tell the stories WE wanted to tell: demystifying scientific research, exposing corruption, reporting on events as they happened. Instead, especially these days, we spend most of our time doing things we either don't particularly care about or have no experience covering.

But we can't let that show: not to our subjects, not to our readers.

I feel like sending this story over to the J-School with a star on top. I guarantee you this writer is not the world's biggest horseshoe-pitching fan... but you wouldn't know it, would you?
posted by Madamina at 7:54 AM on October 18, 2012 [3 favorites]

My kingdom for a Print version because I really want to read this on my Kindle before bed. Sad face.
posted by DarlingBri at 8:14 AM on October 18, 2012

Also, outing myself as a quasi-journalist and then seeing the run-on sentence with which I began that comment?

posted by Madamina at 8:19 AM on October 18, 2012

Madamina: and the author is a journalism professor, according to the bio at the end.
posted by zsazsa at 8:19 AM on October 18, 2012


I feel like the j-school classes should include at least one Top Chef-like assignment where the students reach into a bag and find out that they'll be writing a 1000-word article on... INK-MAKING!!!!! Or HOW DO THEY COME UP WITH CAMPUS BUS ROUTES??????

(I recently wrote about window washing. Wowie wow wow; that job is something.)
posted by Madamina at 8:46 AM on October 18, 2012

BrotherCaine: Taz, shouldn't that be "https:" to "http;" to be more apropos to the topic at hand?
Favoriting isn't enough: BrotherCaine's joke is The. Best. Ever.

(that I've read so far today)
posted by IAmBroom at 9:18 AM on October 18, 2012

Great story. Thanks. Dude is an iron man.
posted by VicNebulous at 12:05 PM on October 18, 2012

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