October 26, 2012 11:48 AM   Subscribe

1997: Arizona. Matt Varilek gets a degree in Environmental Studies, and starts teaching at the Biosphere 2, known as an incubator for radical enviromental ideas. Back in South Dakota, Kristi Noem is named Outstanding Young Farmer of the Year by the Watertown Jaycees.
posted by benbenson (21 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
That ad was more anti-corn dog than I was expecting. For shame, South Dakota GOP.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:54 AM on October 26, 2012

I really, really thought this was a joke.

But nope, behold this tweet from the SD GOP: "Our video about @MattforSD's Corn Dog Day parties has gone viral with nearly 50,000 views. Have you seen it yet?"

Surely they understand that people are laughing AT them?
posted by lunasol at 11:56 AM on October 26, 2012

Yeah, wow. Two very different people. One is educated, has a global perspective, and has probably made friends with people in high places, both in the US and abroad.

The other has slopped the hogs and raised some kids, all while never getting more than a couple hundred miles away from where she was born. But, y'know, the SD Soybean Association backs her, so you know whose back pocket she's in.

How is this even a contest?
posted by nushustu at 11:59 AM on October 26, 2012

It's like a child who takes a shit out in the yard, and he goes to great effort to scoop every last bit of it up in his hands, and bring it to you and show you, and he can't comprehend that you're not going to be extremely proud of him.
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:59 AM on October 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


Also, Raucous Corn Dog Party is my new 90s cover band.
posted by stltony at 12:04 PM on October 26, 2012

The other has slopped the hogs and raised some kids, ....

What's the matter with raising pigs and having a family? It might make her better able to understand what people in her district need. The U.N./corndog conspiracy stuff in the video is dumb, but I don't think HURFDURFFarmer is that great a response.
posted by benito.strauss at 12:08 PM on October 26, 2012 [5 favorites]

Matt Varilek is kind of an elitist jerk for running this ad disparaging his opponent for bring an undereducated bumpkin.

Oh wait, you mean WHAT?!
posted by vorpal bunny at 12:08 PM on October 26, 2012 [3 favorites]

Next year, I'm hosting a raucous National Corn Dog Day party.
posted by COD at 12:11 PM on October 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

Nothing wrong with farming, but they make such a big deal out of the global travelling with the 24 style graphics, and every time she's still in the same place.

1999: Oxford, England. Matt Varilek builds a corn dog from individual molecules using nanotechnology.
1999: South Dakota. Kristi Noem feeds her cattle.

2001: Washington, DC. Matt Varilek chairs an International Conference on greenhouse gas emission caps.
2001: South Dakota. Kristi Noem sees a gopher in the south field, but it's gone by the time she gets there.
posted by Kevin Street at 12:18 PM on October 26, 2012 [5 favorites]

For those of us not familiar with the lingo:

The Triple Double
Feat of Strength. Show of manhood. For those seeking great individual glory, why not have a crack at the infamous NCD “triple double”? Triple double glory (not to mention bragging rights) can be achieved if over the course of NCD one consumes 10 Foster Farms corndogs, 10 x 12oz drinks (Pabst Blue Ribbon beers or Jones soda preferred), and 10 "units" of tater tots (100 tots total). For those a little wary of being able to complete the "triple-double," completing a "double-double" (choose which two) is also still a respectable feat. It’s that simple – and that difficult. The triple double. Attempted by many. Accomplished by few.

What voters need to know is... were those hardcore or softcore taters?
posted by Kabanos at 12:26 PM on October 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


/sorry I got distracted, was there any mention of what they hope to accomplish if elected?
posted by mannequito at 12:28 PM on October 26, 2012

Oh-oh. Looks like Kristi Noem is in bed with the taters too!:
Potato industry leaders participate in D.C. farm bill rally
posted by Kabanos at 12:41 PM on October 26, 2012

So, which candidate is on the side of common people:

A) Appears to have moved from low-science environmental academic programs to trying to cash-in on neoliberal enviro-regulation aka cap 'n trade to working the DC political ladder

B) Appears to be an actual small business person in the state she is running in.

Again, why are you all so fucking confused about what's the matter with Kansas South Dakota?
posted by at 12:43 PM on October 26, 2012 [3 favorites]

Composing a political attack ad? Here's a handy tip: try not to make the person you're attacking seem like an awesome corndog-loving super spy.
posted by koeselitz at 12:45 PM on October 26, 2012 [7 favorites]

(Also, I always thought that Biosphere 2 was known as an incubator for Pauly Shore.)
posted by koeselitz at 12:47 PM on October 26, 2012

What's with the James Bond-y graphics package? Are we supposed to be afraid that Matt Varilek is the next Hank Scorpio?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:48 PM on October 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

He went to Marrakesh, Morocco! I think that's somewhere near Kenya!
posted by Kabanos at 12:51 PM on October 26, 2012

Varilek should move to Minnesota. Both his environmental background and his love of corn dogs and tater tots would play well here.
posted by jonp72 at 2:24 PM on October 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

But where does he fall on cheese curds?
posted by Squeak Attack at 3:10 PM on October 26, 2012

He went to Marrakesh, Morocco! I think that's somewhere near Kenya!

I'll bet Varilek is a secret muslim, just like Obama.
posted by homunculus at 5:31 PM on October 26, 2012

And yet Noem only sends her aides to try for campaign brownie points by visiting farms like my grandfather's up in repeatedly- and constantly-flooded (steadily since '93!) northeastern SD and won't come get her own boots dirty in one of the worst farming trouble areas in the state. She's so legitimate!
posted by jason_steakums at 8:20 PM on October 26, 2012

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