Click-Clack the Rattle Bag
October 26, 2012 12:33 PM   Subscribe

Neil Gaiman reads a story that scared people. A new Neil Gaiman story is available from Audible. It's free, and every copy downloaded means a donation to DonorsChoose or BookTrust. (Neil does ask that you wait to listen to it until after dark.)
posted by kristi (22 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
Once upon a time, there was a banker. The banker was a clever fellow, and with his financial alchemy, he conjured a monstrosity, and called it Securitization.
posted by Malor at 12:41 PM on October 26, 2012 [3 favorites]

It's after dark somewhere!
posted by 2bucksplus at 12:42 PM on October 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

Hey, I like Neil Gaiman, maybe I'll try it. Wow, that was less odious than I thought by just using my Amazon login. Hey, that was easy... .aa file?! *sigh*
posted by Zed at 12:45 PM on October 26, 2012

Is it time we put a tab somewhere up there in between Projects and Music that just says Neil and be done with it?
posted by efalk at 12:46 PM on October 26, 2012 [5 favorites]

That's a pretty savvy inducement for new users to open an account. At least, it worked on me!
posted by Elsa at 1:01 PM on October 26, 2012

I thought I already had an Audible account, from when Samuel L Jackson's reading of "Go The Fuck To Sleep" was available for free, but apparently not. Or maybe they expire from non-use?
posted by rewil at 1:27 PM on October 26, 2012

I was going to make an FPP out of this--my husband was shocked that I hadn't already--but my reasoning is that yes, I downloaded the file this morning and no, I didn't want to make it until I actually heard the story. (It isn't dark enough here yet.)
posted by Kitteh at 1:28 PM on October 26, 2012

awesome! downloaded and ready to scare the shit out of myself! Go Friday night cheap thrills!
posted by iamkimiam at 1:33 PM on October 26, 2012

Can't wait to try this. His reading of Coraline is the scariest thing I have ever heard, and I am your garden variety zombie-fan. I caught myself moaning audibly at the bus-stop one morning as I listened. Just moaning from the unhappy. Öuuhn....
posted by Iteki at 2:01 PM on October 26, 2012 [1 favorite]

Thanks! I've enjoyed a few audiobooks read by Gaiman...not all authors serve well as narrator, but he's great. And free this time!
posted by maryrussell at 3:39 PM on October 26, 2012

His reading of Coraline is the scariest thing I have ever heard, and I am your garden variety zombie-fan.

Way back in 2002 or 2003, the year Coraline was released, Neil did a full length reading of the whole damned thing at the First Congregational Church in Berkeley, CA. It began at 6:30 in the afternoon, and it was 2 AM before he finished.

He'd been sipping tea all through the reading and speaking in his low-and-melodious lilt, but even so, as the night went on, you could tell he was having trouble. His voice was getting hoarse, and he was losing strength. I mean, 7 or 8 hours of reading out loud, you know? Hell, I was getting done, and all I'd been doing was sitting.

We all listened, rapt, as he finally reached the end and slowly closed the cover. He smiled, satisfied. There was a long pause, and then the entire audience jumped to their feet, applauding. Just as the standing ovation began to die down, a cry came from the back of the nave, "Bravo! Bravo! Encore! DO IT AGAIN!"

It turns out that the source of that shout was Daniel "Lemony Snickett" Handler, who crossed the bridge to hear his friend Neil's reading and screw with him.

That was the same night Neil fed me a bit of dried mango and signed my (already signed by Dave McKean) copies of Black Orchid.

It was a good night.
posted by Myca at 3:55 PM on October 26, 2012 [10 favorites]

Look, I love Neil Gaiman.

I gave my Amazon account info.

But I draw the line at installing a frickin' download manager.

Please explain how to listen to this in UNDER 20 steps that include installing DRM on your machine.
posted by pla at 6:36 PM on October 26, 2012 [10 favorites]

Yeah this DRM stuff.... I have an I-thing, just going to get the audible app for the listen. None of this nonsense.
posted by whorl at 10:23 PM on October 26, 2012

From's "Email a Question" form:

Not Applicable
Internet Explorer 8
Internet Explorer 7
Internet Explorer 6
Mozilla Firefox 3
Mozilla Firefox 2
Other Unsupported Browser (note ticket)"

Yeah, sorry, life's too short.
posted by The Minotaur at 10:56 PM on October 26, 2012

I gave my Amazon account info.

I did as well a couple hours ago and Audible spam has already arrived at my inbox. The supposedly "free" audio I still haven't gotten. This is why people pirate even the free stuff.
posted by patrick54 at 3:03 AM on October 27, 2012 [2 favorites]

Too many steps and couldn't get it to work. It's really frustrating that the tracking and admin makes it completely unenjoyable.
posted by iamkimiam at 3:16 AM on October 27, 2012

Yeah, stuff this.

Honestly, times have changed. There's loads of good stuff that is not only free but is not surrounded by slavering mastiffs and cold-eyed bodyguards. Shame about the charities, but really - the only reason that Audible is giving them money is that our account details are valuable. Otherwise they could just give them the money anyway, right? So it's a big exploitative enterprise, dressed up as an act of benevolence.

God rot their slimy hearts. And Mr Gaiman? You need to find nicer friends.
posted by Joe in Australia at 4:59 AM on October 27, 2012 [6 favorites]

For crying out loud. After jumping through a thousand-and-one hoops, now I've got some stupid Audible Download Manager on my computer that's somehow linked to my iTunes (but is also its own separate thing? huh? whatever) and the story isn't anywhere to be found. Oh, and I had to restart Chrome, thus losing whatever breadcrumb trail of tabs I could have used to get back to the alleged story which allegedly exists but I wouldn't know because it's apparently floating around in some cloud.
posted by treepour at 9:44 PM on October 27, 2012 [1 favorite]

I kinda got the manager to download my file, but it's stuck at "importing into Windows Media Player" because, y'know, that's something I care about. And when I try to set it up to send the file to a portable player there are options for six different Rio MP3 players but nothing for Android.

These guys are on the ball, I tell you what.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 6:21 AM on October 31, 2012

I'm surprised how difficult and vexatious this has been for some of you. For me, both registry or download went smothly, and five days later, I've received only one email: the initial one detailing my free "purchase." Huh, I wonder what accounts for the difference.
posted by Elsa at 12:39 PM on October 31, 2012

I had to temporarily allow write access for the Audible download manager to my iTunes library, before I could get things to work.

I saw in Gaiman's post that you didn't have to be an member. However, during download you had to provide credentials. I'm already an account so by default I was allowed access to Audible, but I thought that was a tad misleading.

Still, the short story was great.
posted by CancerMan at 12:27 PM on November 1, 2012

Googling "click-clack the rattlebag mp3" has become fruitful.
posted by Zed at 4:27 PM on November 9, 2012

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