No word yet if it is compatible with previous generation docking stations
October 28, 2012 10:07 AM   Subscribe

Minimalist design. Seamless metal and glass. Sleek lines. Revolutionary. Super thin. Perhaps the last official Steve Jobs product launch (translation).

Designed by Phillipe Starcke, built by Feadship, and named 'Venus' after the Roman goddess of love and beauty.
posted by mazola (70 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
 
iBoat
posted by HuronBob at 10:13 AM on October 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


Am I allowed to say that yacht is both very cool and profoundly ugly? Whatever is going on up top looks like a giant HVAC housing unit. On the other hand, it isn't my yacht and the only person it needs to please is Jobs' wife, who probably feels very differently about completing a legacy project of her husband's than I do about the legacy project of her husband's.
posted by DarlingBri at 10:15 AM on October 28, 2012 [6 favorites]


It looks so ungainly. More like a floating platform than a boat. Forgive me for such awful words.
posted by Jehan at 10:21 AM on October 28, 2012


Thanks for the massive boat. Here is a tiny iPod.
posted by 4ster at 10:24 AM on October 28, 2012 [12 favorites]


I suppose that I shouldn't be shocked that the CEO of Apple would indulge in the sine qua non of "I have so much fucking money that I don't know what to do, so I'll piss a huge chunk of it away on a super ostentatious vanity item." And then make it hideous in pursuit of a design edge for when it pulls in next to Larry Ellison's waterborne penis.

But I guess I indulged in the fantasy that the guy who made it home for dinner with his family in the kitchen on most nights, wouldn't stoop to such crass conspicuous consumption. And that's totally my blind spot, that is.
posted by fatbird at 10:24 AM on October 28, 2012 [4 favorites]


This Apple Store of the sea looks horribly dated.
posted by Arthur Phillips Jones Jr at 10:25 AM on October 28, 2012


For most people, the Venus Nano would suffice.
posted by davebush at 10:27 AM on October 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


It kinda looks like a weird polygon Star Destroyer .
posted by dubold at 10:28 AM on October 28, 2012 [3 favorites]


All I can think when I look at this is 'Dude's got way too much money'.
posted by anaximander at 10:29 AM on October 28, 2012


Thanks for the massive boat. Here is a tiny iPod.

I sort of wondered about that too. I feel like I've been gifted a bunch of those crappy little iPods for various things and not one of them has ever worked longer than a week.

But I guess I indulged in the fantasy that the guy who made it home for dinner with his family in the kitchen on most nights, wouldn't stoop to such crass conspicuous consumption. And that's totally my blind spot, that is.

People have this strong desire to perceive Steve Jobs as, in addition to a visionary, not being a guy who made a bazillion dollars selling conspicuous consumer goods.

That said, and with sort of a baseline position that is pretty much "fuck all you bazillionaires in your stupid giant boats", I guess I still think it's a cool looking boat. I mean, a helluva lot cooler looking than a lot of the absurd floating mansions you see.
posted by brennen at 10:31 AM on October 28, 2012


That said, and with sort of a baseline position that is pretty much "fuck all you bazillionaires in your stupid giant boats", I guess I still think it's a cool looking boat. I mean, a helluva lot cooler looking than a lot of the absurd floating mansions you see.

the rdf extends beyond the grave...
posted by ennui.bz at 10:33 AM on October 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


I couldn't put words to the profound emotion I'd feel as I sat, alone, in the master stateroom of that vessel if my late spouse had commissioned it to be built as a traveling vacation home for our family, knowing that he would never see it nor appreciate it nor get to spend the time he wanted on the open sea with just his family and friends.

Maybe it's ugly to some. I do think that misses the poignancy, though. I hope his family get some use and comfort out of it, surrounded as they will be by Jobs' design gestalt.
posted by seanmpuckett at 10:43 AM on October 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


didn't take long for the Windhows fans to show up
posted by univac at 10:47 AM on October 28, 2012 [6 favorites]


Nice boat, but I can't help but wonder what these people would have to say about it. (businessinsider.com)
posted by lampshade at 10:48 AM on October 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


I come from a family of yachtspersons and like spending time at sea about as much as I do anything. What I never understand about these superyachts is that you don't get any of the good bits of being at sea. You can't sail it yourself, or with a small crew of friends (hell you can't even sail it, lacking as it does FUCKING SAILS). You can't pick up and go anywhere you like anytime you feel like it. You don't have that great cross between camping and comfort that a small yacht affords.

You've got a huge floating RV that someone else gets to drive. Awesome.
posted by howfar at 10:49 AM on October 28, 2012 [4 favorites]


Yeah. That's why I'd never get one too.
posted by mazola at 10:50 AM on October 28, 2012 [12 favorites]


I don't think it's ugly but it doesn't look very comfortable.
posted by octothorpe at 10:50 AM on October 28, 2012


It looks very Steve Jobs and not very Johnny Ive. By which I mean that the triumph of apple was to pair form and functionality together and strip back everything so that the technology was secondary to the experience. This perhaps has the form, but there is no "functionality" for it to have.

Pairing the two like an "apple product" is/would be an impossible task to do when designing a fucking giant yacht - because a giant yacht is about the least minimalist and practical thing that you could ever design. I think it looks discordant not because the design is bad but because the nature of the product means it is not possible to make it anything other than a large ugly bauble.
posted by Another Fine Product From The Nonsense Factory at 10:52 AM on October 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


Yeah. That's why I'd never get one too.

If I had the money to build and crew a beast like that I'd be looking at a tall ship along these lines. Sailing the seas. Like a boss.
posted by howfar at 10:57 AM on October 28, 2012 [6 favorites]


I don't think it's particularly attractive, but I was more taken with the absolute cheapness that is the "Thank you! Here is the least expensive thing we sell as a gift!" iPod shuffle.
posted by jeather at 10:58 AM on October 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


I feel like I've been gifted a bunch of those crappy little iPods for various things and not one of them has ever worked longer than a week.

I had one of those (still have it somewhere), it worked for longer than a week but it stopped holding a charge after less than a year.
posted by octothorpe at 11:03 AM on October 28, 2012


I'm sure the workers were paid too. I wasn't suggesting giving them all Macbooks, just choosing the *absolute cheapest thing you sell* as a tip -- something which costs Apple about 25$ to make -- is tacky. I tip people that much to move my furniture to a new apartment.
posted by jeather at 11:08 AM on October 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


There isn't a pervasive tipping culture in the Netherlands. These are gifts. Not payment in lieu of proper wages. So seems fine. Commenting on the value of any gift would be considered tacky, surely.
posted by aychedee at 11:16 AM on October 28, 2012 [3 favorites]


I'm not sure about the "Tip" culture we have. I understand it in the case of workers (wait staff) whose wages are below scale, but for skilled workers whose pay is reasonable for their skills, isn't the paycheck sufficient?

That said, I know a director who was gifted with an Aston Martin by the studio upon the release of a movie.... evidently he already had an iPod.
posted by HuronBob at 11:23 AM on October 28, 2012


Some other mega yachts for comparison (or just to gawk at).

Jobs' yacht is 80m (260 ft), cost unknown.
posted by mazola at 11:25 AM on October 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


Hey everybody, please be nicer to the dead billionaire who believed philanthropy was a waste of time.
posted by MetalFingerz at 11:26 AM on October 28, 2012 [7 favorites]


I'm not sure about the "Tip" culture we have. I understand it in the case of workers (wait staff) whose wages are below scale, but for skilled workers whose pay is reasonable for their skills, isn't the paycheck sufficient?

Assuming for the moment that these are skilled workers who are well-paid -- I have no idea -- then sure, paying them and not giving them a tip is probably fine. (I'm not totally sure of the etiquette wrt yachts.) But giving them a cheap tip is tacky.
posted by jeather at 11:32 AM on October 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


A luxury boat with all the charm of a modern office building.
Does each crew member get his/her own cubicle?
posted by MtDewd at 11:51 AM on October 28, 2012


So, marine-rated iMacs?
posted by NortonDC at 11:55 AM on October 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


Another take, which at least spends a moment contemplating the poignancy of the legacy of a dead man.

It's interesting. Here's a man who takes a trip with his family, enjoys it so much he decides he wants to sail around the world with them, and he has the money to build a ship designed to do it.

So he pours his heart into the thing, and almost gives up when he finds out, tragically, that he is dying. He perseveres, despite facing numerous health crises, knowing he might never live to see his dream reach its culmination, because he was having fun.

And the initial reaction to learning of this here on Metafilter is not, as one might expect, "If you have that kind of money, and your time is limited, might as well spend it doing something you love," but catty criticisms of the thank you gift he gave the workers and "Who cares, it's an ugly boat anyway!"

This place is really harshing my mellow lately. Please send cute cat videos.
posted by misha at 11:57 AM on October 28, 2012 [20 favorites]


Oh, mazola, I forgot to add: thanks for the post. I know sometimes people don't notice the title, so I just want to say I really enjoyed the pun.
posted by misha at 12:00 PM on October 28, 2012


Just as a point of comparison, back when he was only receiving a $1 annual salary, Apple gave Steve Jobs a $43.5 Million Gulfstream V jet and paid the expenses whenever he flew for business. The cost of this yacht is probably somewhere in that neighborhood.
posted by charlie don't surf at 12:01 PM on October 28, 2012


This Apple Store of the sea looks horribly dated.

You should see what Ballmer had in mind for the Microsoft Store parked in the dock across the marina. One journalist described it as "an oil rig wrapped in four colors of Christmas tinsel."
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:18 PM on October 28, 2012 [3 favorites]


iCeberg
posted by chavenet at 12:21 PM on October 28, 2012


And the initial reaction to learning of this here

Hang on, that's a bit unfair. The story you are telling doesn't really come across at all in the original link. People are reacting to the photographs, because the link doesn't really provide a lot of context.
posted by bardophile at 12:23 PM on October 28, 2012


No wireless. Less space then a Nomad. Lame.
posted by porn in the woods at 12:28 PM on October 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


Minimalist design. Seamless metal and glass. Sleek lines. Revolutionary. Super thin. Perhaps the last official Steve Jobs product launch

My first thought on reading this was "coffin", for whatever reason.
posted by Wolfdog at 12:39 PM on October 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


Have to say that this deviates from marine architectural motifs, and not in an especially good way. It's a shame because I do think they could have blended the obvious Apple Store mimickry into a sleeker, more aerodynamic design in a better way. It's ironic because the whole point of Apple design is ostensibly (and admittedly contentiously) one where form follows function, or at least serves aesthetics and function in equal measure. This, though, just screams a stationary barge that doesn't go to sea, and even if that was the intended use in a way, it seems like a waste and a product that will have a limited resale potential.
posted by dhartung at 12:47 PM on October 28, 2012


That round thing on top - of course it is not a flying saucer (from Venus). It is a lenticular cloud.
posted by Cranberry at 12:53 PM on October 28, 2012


It's interesting. Here's a man who takes a trip with his family, enjoys it so much he decides he wants to sail around the world with them, and he has the money to build a ship designed to do it.

So he pours his heart into the thing, and almost gives up when he finds out, tragically, that he is dying. He perseveres, despite facing numerous health crises, knowing he might never live to see his dream reach its culmination, because he was having fun.

And the initial reaction to learning of this here on Metafilter is not, as one might expect, "If you have that kind of money, and your time is limited, might as well spend it doing something you love," but catty criticisms of the thank you gift he gave the workers and "Who cares, it's an ugly boat anyway!"
Nobody is saying this boat is ugly just to be mean, to tramp on a dead man's dream. Even were we not to know who designed and built this boat, we would still say it is ugly. The boat is ugly, and that's a legitimate criticism, however well or ill considered. Maybe we could just pat the ghost of Jobs on the head and say, "Well it's the intention what counts!"
posted by Jehan at 1:11 PM on October 28, 2012


Hey everybody, please be nicer to the dead billionaire who believed philanthropy was a waste of time.

Or who was such a pro-family man that he spent time in court denying Lisa was his daughter.

Or who was so ethical he lied to his business partner Woz about how much they got paid on a consulting gig so he'd have better than the agreed to 50/50 split.

Yes, be nicer to the dead guy as he was such a wonderful man - a paragon of virtue and ethics.
posted by rough ashlar at 1:17 PM on October 28, 2012 [4 favorites]


The photos made me think of a floating gin palace. It's a shame Jobs never lived to enjoy it with his family though.
posted by arcticseal at 1:19 PM on October 28, 2012


I guess I've just spent the last week watching a variety of people on the internet evaluate the actions of their fellow humans in the most cynical and uncharitable light possible, and it's been kind of a bummer, watching everyone assume the absolute worst of everybody else.

I feel like we live in a society where people - or at the very least, people in high places - very often are at their absolute worst. Living in a world of crash commercialism, celebrity fetishism, and a "winner-take-all" attitude seems to not bring out the best in us.
posted by Noms_Tiem at 1:20 PM on October 28, 2012


Am I the only one who thinks it looks like it was made out of lego?
posted by looli at 1:32 PM on October 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


The white hull is made from melted down white G5 iMacs (after the logic boards all failed). Saying that, I suspect it looks much better in the flesh than it appears in these pictures.
posted by Lanark at 1:48 PM on October 28, 2012


I'm no yacht expert, but it looks pretty good to me. I'm kind of surprised to see that almost everyone else finds it to be ugly.
posted by gyc at 2:01 PM on October 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


I think it's beautiful.
posted by sourwookie at 2:03 PM on October 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


It would be a terrible waste to use it for such a thing, but I think it would be a stunning boat for a viking funeral.
posted by AccordionGuy at 2:10 PM on October 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


and he has the money to build a ship designed to do it.

To be fair, this is not a question of having the money to do it. This is a case of building a boat 10 times bigger and 10 times more expensive than even a really nice super yacht more than sufficient to the task.

Personally I don't care what Steve Jobs chose to spend his personal fortune on as long as it wasn't Republicans. But at the same time, I don't think you can build a boat on this scale with this designer and expect that you are signing up for anything less than intense scrutiny right along with your transatlantic voyages.
posted by DarlingBri at 2:28 PM on October 28, 2012


It would make a stunning headquarters for a campy Bond villain. Kind of surprised to hear Jobs had signed off on something that seems so much unlike his aesthetic. Whatever his personal faults, he seemed to value beauty, grace and charm in the things he designed, and this boat seems to lack those qualities almost entirely. De gustibus non est disputandum and all that, but I got the sense from previous coverage on this that Starcke and Jobs' family didn't get along too well, and I wonder if there were disagreements over matters of design.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:33 PM on October 28, 2012


What was it the famous architect said? Something about to make sure your expensive apartment doesn't have a view of the ugliest building in the city, buy an apartment in the ugliest building in the city and look out from it.
posted by chavenet at 3:02 PM on October 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


What was it the famous architect said? Something about to make sure your expensive apartment doesn't have a view of the ugliest building in the city, buy an apartment in the ugliest building in the city and look out from it.

"What I say about things like this is, you're better to be in the cave across from it where you're lookin' at that, you're gettin' a nice view. The people livin' in this are lookin' at my hole." - Karl Pilkington
posted by gyc at 3:08 PM on October 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


> Thanks for the massive boat. Here is a tiny iPod.

A blueprint-reading error gives us Spinal Tap's stonehenge in reverse. Steve wanted a tub toy.

(Blueprints for a tub toy? I hear you ask. Well, you know Steve.)
posted by jfuller at 4:03 PM on October 28, 2012


It doesn't look very nautical. It's a floating condo.

As far as tech moguls going all out on boats, Paul Allen remains undefeated. I once saw his boat in Rio, and word's can't describe how large the thing is.
posted by gertzedek at 4:12 PM on October 28, 2012


As far as tech moguls going all out on boats, Paul Allen remains undefeated. I once saw his boat in Rio, and word's can't describe how large the thing is.

I saw that thing in Iceland, where it's apparently being loaned out for science. It is huge.

I think Allen has a bumper sticker on his other yacht: "My other yacht is The Octopus."
posted by klanawa at 8:22 PM on October 28, 2012


Now I'm wondering how the megarich use these yachts. I can't imagine someone like Paul Allen wanting take a few days off to cruise across the Atlantic. I presume they send the yacht ahead to Monaco or wherever, and fly there in their private jet to go meet it at the destination.
posted by charlie don't surf at 8:27 PM on October 28, 2012


In a world of cookie cutter vehicles, any vehicle which looks different has a good shot at being attractive in some way. I clicked on the links to Paul Allen's yacht that people have linked to here. It's boring. It may be big, but it just looks like every other yacht except bigger. I personally like Job's yacht from some angles, but I'm not a fan of the straight lines in the back. It's definitely more attractive then most ho-hum yachts though.

To me, things become less attractive when you get used to them. New looks are worth trying out. That's why old phones become less attractive over time. That's why there are no cars under $100k which are particularly exciting (unless they are cars which aren't sold in the area I live in). That's why I house hunted for half a year and saw only a few houses which I found beautiful (I couldn't afford them though).
posted by HappyEngineer at 8:59 PM on October 28, 2012


And hurricanes and hijacking are also real thing.

I recently discovered (maybe it was even on MeFi, I forget) that there is a whole genre of videos on Youtube of ships crashing through high seas. This video is rather dramatic but is rather high production values for this genre. But most of them are camera shots from the bridge, like this one or this one. They are sort of hypnotically fascinating.
posted by charlie don't surf at 9:05 PM on October 28, 2012


MGM's reconstruction of H.M.S. Bounty, built for Mutiny on the Bounty, was Ted Turner's yacht for a few years after he purchased the MGM film library (and the Bounty) in 1986. While it was Ted's he certainly had the ubercoolest yacht on the seas, leaving all others of any size in the shade. The Bounty also had fat parts in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest and the made-for-TV Treasure Island (which was available on VHS tape but doesn't seem ever to have made it to DVD, a damn shame because it's wonderful.)
posted by jfuller at 5:35 AM on October 29, 2012


Unfortunately, the HMS Bounty is sinking.
posted by achrise at 6:43 AM on October 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


In a world of cookie cutter vehicles, any vehicle which looks different has a good shot at being attractive in some way.

It's not even that different though - it bears a strong structural resemblance to the A, another Philippe Starck yacht. If you want distinctive, I suggest the Maltese Falcon.
posted by DarlingBri at 7:12 AM on October 29, 2012


> Unfortunately, the HMS Bounty is sinking.

Oh jeez that's too bad. WTF were they doing out there sailing in the path of a hurricane? Why not run for port? It's not like we haven't been hearing about Sandy for days and days.
posted by jfuller at 8:14 AM on October 29, 2012


> The Bounty is a replica, fyi.

Wikipedia in action, which is already updated about today's incident.

To clarify, the original HMS Bounty's (AKA HM Armed Vessel Bounty) demise: "To prevent the ship's detection, and anyone's possible escape, the ship was burned on 23 January 1790". She sailed less than 2.5 years.

Current reporting about the replica vessel seems to alternately referred to it with and without the HMS. She sailed for 42ish years.

There's a second replica, the H.M.A.V. Bounty built in 1979 in New Zealand also for a film and currently used as a tourist attraction in Honk Kong.
posted by achrise at 9:11 AM on October 29, 2012


I like this ship, actually. It's got its good points.

But--man, I have to point out--there is so much *straightness* there. Seafaring vessels have a long history of being curved, and all those straight lines look alien in that environment (particularly the bow).
posted by RikiTikiTavi at 9:16 AM on October 29, 2012


YACHTS WITH HIGH-SEAS STYLE from Architectural Digest, although I think the 'style' seems to be based on the (outlandish?) interiors.
posted by achrise at 9:44 AM on October 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


Re: Paul Allen's yacht

That boat has a fucking HeliPad on it.... and there's another on the back WHY do you need two helipads on your boat? Why do you need a helicopter if you have a boat?! do you bring extra helicopters? Did you bring your helicopter out on the sea?? And then, having gone out to sea with your HELICOPTER, were you expecting GUESTS WITH THEIR OWN HELICOPTERS?!? How the fuck FAR are you going?

I can't even FATHOM having that much money. Like, my brain can't figure it, like contemplating space.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 2:16 PM on October 29, 2012


and for the record I ain't NEVER worked a job where they gave me an iPod of any sort! I worked in a grocery store for 5 years and they gave me a clock.

and it got stolen.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 2:17 PM on October 29, 2012 [1 favorite]




During the zombie apocalypse, you need two helicopters so that if the zombies shoot one down, you can still get to your yacht to escape. Two helipads, though, that's excessive, I agree.
posted by misha at 2:19 PM on November 7, 2012




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