Loose Candy Corn should be placed with your pennies. They're equally worthless.
October 28, 2012 1:58 PM   Subscribe

The Guide to Trading Candy. (SLYT) Buzzfeed gets into the Halloween spirit by scaring kids onto the fast track toward embittered adulthood.
posted by Smart Dalek (16 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
It's funny 'cause it's true!
posted by hippybear at 2:06 PM on October 28, 2012

I never did the trick or treating thing, but I did used to take advantage of this sort of thing with my younger sister.

When given a box of sweets to share she would immediately pull out the "list of sweets she doesn't like" and attempt to offload them on me, leaving her with everyone's favourites, and leaving me with ones likely to be stolen by adults. My strategy was to convince her that sweets she disliked had 'no value' and should be discarded from the division of sweets. After equal division of the sweets we both liked I would simply claim the discarded sweets, as I liked them and she didn't, and they obviously had no value to her. Taking advantage of this category error was very effective at me getting more than my fair share.

I think I might be a horrible person...
posted by ElliotH at 2:11 PM on October 28, 2012

We did the "dump and make a huge pile" thing. The candy usually lasted until Thanksgiving, by which time it tasted disgusting.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 2:12 PM on October 28, 2012

5th Avenue bars are rare, unique drops. You better to willing to part with an entire bag of peanut butter cups before I even think about trading that.
posted by The Whelk at 2:14 PM on October 28, 2012 [2 favorites]

This is Ze Frank - love his stuff
posted by Otherwise at 2:15 PM on October 28, 2012

You can have my Necco Wafers when you pry then from my cold dead hands.
posted by COD at 2:18 PM on October 28, 2012 [2 favorites]

Yeah, not so much "Buzzfeed" as "Ze Frank" - worth pointing that out.
posted by koeselitz at 2:48 PM on October 28, 2012 [1 favorite]

Here's the non-mobile link for us weirdos who use the internet on computers.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:31 PM on October 28, 2012 [5 favorites]

I will take all your candy corn (and not those fucking pumpkins or the other larger sugar-wax items), and I will eat half, leaving the other half out in the rain for parking lot filler.

I've always loved candy corn, but after the 5th or 6th handful, I feel terrible.
posted by deezil at 4:16 PM on October 28, 2012 [2 favorites]

When my 6 year old niece asked me to buy her a five pound bag of Kandy Korn, I did. But as I handed it to her I said, "Have you ever noticed that if you eat a bunch of these you feel sick an hour later?"

She paused to think, looked at me with her big blue eyes and said, "An hour is a really long time."
posted by StickyCarpet at 5:24 PM on October 28, 2012 [11 favorites]

"Nerds are technically inert PopRocks..."

posted by ApathyGirl at 10:26 PM on October 28, 2012 [2 favorites]

Also, he's totally right about Gateway candy. And I love candy buttons.
posted by ApathyGirl at 10:28 PM on October 28, 2012

The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It’s unbelievable to me. Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America that’s never been advertised. And there’s a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. And so, since nobody eats that stuff, every year there’s a ton of it left over. And the candy corn company sends the guys to the villages and they collect out of the dumpsters all the candy corn we’ve thrown away. They wash it!! They wash it! -Lewis Black
posted by Splunge at 9:58 AM on October 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

Splunge, that Lewis Black joke is my second favorite of his, only surpassed by "If it weren't for my horse..."
posted by deezil at 10:43 AM on October 29, 2012

OK, I knew Almond Joy and Mounds were grown-up candy (because I inexplicably switched from hating to loving them somewhere around age 24). But Butterfingers? I thought I was the only kid who didn't like those. Bart Simpson loved Butterfingers! When I started liking them, I thought it was because I was finally normal, not because I was finally old.
posted by vytae at 1:57 PM on October 29, 2012

my 6 year old niece asked me to buy her a five pound bag of Kandy Korn, I did.

And, BTW, twenty years later she says that was the happiest day of her childhood.
posted by StickyCarpet at 2:12 PM on October 29, 2012

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