Back of the pan

November 1, 2012 3:26 PM

Some people have made an interesting and clever 'goalkeeping machine', which prevents football (soccer) strikers from scoring goals, using high speed cameras and projectiles sent out to intercept the ball. And - obviously! - they've deployed it there, in the goalmouth, in a toilet.
posted by Hartham's Hugging Robots (26 comments total)

I thought this was going to be a toilet that fended off anything from dropping into it. But, this is good too.
posted by found missing at 3:29 PM on November 1, 2012 [8 favorites]

From: TOTO×toto Green Collaboration Project
posted by hattifattener at 3:30 PM on November 1, 2012

This almost makes up for me getting "Africa" stuck in my head every time I use a public restroom.
posted by cortex at 3:51 PM on November 1, 2012 [4 favorites]

Brendan Rogers please sign this loo!
posted by lalochezia at 4:05 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

Poopsi Blue.
posted by w0mbat at 4:15 PM on November 1, 2012

lalochezia its distribution is terrible, not a Rogers type of signing...
posted by sauril at 4:27 PM on November 1, 2012

Yeah, I'd say he needs to sign a bidet as a forward first, but he already has Downing..
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:33 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

i thought this technology was going to be applied to the opposite problem: make sure every "shot" is a "goal"...

but then you'd have to live with cameras shooting 250fps *in* your toilet.... reddit would never be the same.
posted by ennui.bz at 4:41 PM on November 1, 2012

So that's what those other buttons do on Japanese toilets. I figured out heating, cooling, flushing and bidet but I was always afraid to push the rest.
posted by Blue Meanie at 4:50 PM on November 1, 2012 [6 favorites]

"By some people have made" you mean an ad agency hired by Toto? This article credits "Creative Director & Engineer Hiroki Nakamura", the Huffington Post mentions that a Japanese lottery firm also named Toto is involved.
posted by Nelson at 5:12 PM on November 1, 2012

I don't understand. Is this a toilet designed for the Maradona of poop?
posted by Nomyte at 5:28 PM on November 1, 2012

waka waka hey hey
posted by 256 at 5:40 PM on November 1, 2012

w0mbat: "Poopsi Blue."

Pepsi Loo?
posted by schmod at 5:54 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

If a "Jackass 4" is ever made... This.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 6:23 PM on November 1, 2012

From the youtube comments. I know. It made me laugh: Great. Now there is an invention if anyone wants their shit fired back up their asshole at 100mph. Thanks Japan!
posted by zeek321 at 6:27 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

Brendan Rogers please sign this loo!

It's early days in its career, but it's already equalled Stewart Downing's goals and assists tally for last season.
posted by kersplunk at 6:43 PM on November 1, 2012

Seriously though, this is great. My preferred position in soccer, hurling, and Gaelic football has always been on goal, not because I'm lazy (when I'm out-pitch I'm centre-midfield), but because there's something about being the person with the fastest reflexes on the pitch ruining the orgasmic moment that the crowd have been waiting for, to sighs of slight relief.
posted by kersplunk at 6:50 PM on November 1, 2012

Part tokusatsu, part Hitchhiker's Guide miniseries. I approve.
posted by BiggerJ at 7:24 PM on November 1, 2012

hahahahaha.ha on the domain name.
posted by rh at 8:24 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

"That's enough fastballs, give him some breaking stuff."
posted by Sphinx at 9:06 PM on November 1, 2012

I can say as a former keeper that this video is full of plot holes. The designers must first change the rules of soccer to allow multiple balls on the field and in play at once. Of course, that rule change would allow for the possibility for multiple shots to be taken on goal in unison, which the toilet-robot cannot handle at current technological capacity. At that point it's an entirely new game, called "toccer" in the US and "toilet ball" in the rest of the world.
posted by DoubleLune at 9:14 PM on November 1, 2012

In the US, "toilet ball" is played by using a vacuum cleaner to move a frisbee around.
posted by cortex at 9:23 PM on November 1, 2012 [1 favorite]

There is a Dutch naval defense system that is composed of radar, a computer, and a very high rate of fire gatling gun. It detects incoming missiles or shells, works out a trajectory, and fires the gun to intercept the target before it reaches the ship. It's basically the grownup version of what we see here.

Of course, it's name is Goalkeeper.
posted by CaseyB at 9:36 PM on November 1, 2012

From hattifattener's link:

TOTO (a sanitary ware manufacturer) and toto (a legal organization that organizes and sells Sports Promotion Lottery) have two things in common: their names, and their attitude towards the contribution to the environment. For this reason, this collaboration project was founded.
As an ambassador of the campaign, the unique "Toilet Goalkeeper" was created, having characteristics derived from the business of the two. This project aims at informing customers about the efforts towards the environment of both TOTO and toto, through events, promotional campaigns, and the Toilet Goalkeeper website. This promotion is limited to Japan.
* "Toilet Goalkeeper" was developed only for a promotional purpose.
TOTO and toto will not manufacture/sell "Toilet Goalkeeper"
posted by donovan at 11:12 PM on November 1, 2012

The Phalanx version of this has been around since 1980.
posted by dazed_one at 2:27 AM on November 2, 2012

The operator's user interface for the Toilet Goalkeeper? Three Shells.
posted by surplus at 5:41 PM on November 2, 2012