Dolly Parton, Cher and Fee Waybill walk into a bar.

December 4, 2012 9:21 PM

In which Dolly Parton and The Tubes battle for Cher's soul.

Dodgy VHS-sourced SLYT, but wow.

posted by mintcake! (27 comments total)

The sound is pretty bloody awful.
But, no autotune. I call that a win.

And all TV used to sound like that.
posted by Mezentian at 9:27 PM on December 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

I miss unskeletal Dolly.

And so much smoking on the teevee! You don't see much of that anymore.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 9:41 PM on December 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Man the last century was so weird.
posted by Sailormom at 9:48 PM on December 4, 2012

my favorite thing from Reddit today: Cher reigning over Sunset Strip in valkyrie drag in 1979.
posted by roger ackroyd at 10:17 PM on December 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Man, I forgot how much I enjoyed The Tubes' first album. They truly were a band that peaked long before a wider audience was ready for their music and their schtick.
posted by mosk at 10:22 PM on December 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

I know this is a derail, but when I look at the picture roger ackroyd linked to all I can think is oh god look at all those shitty old cars. The American auto industry at its "finest".
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:29 PM on December 4, 2012

One of my dad's favorite hobbies is queueing up youtube videos on the smart TV I got for him. Recently, he introduced me to The Tubes performing with Olivia Newton John from Xanadu. He's a fan of early Cher & Dolly Parton was my first childhood crush (even though I was three or four, I loved watching the Dolly Parton show. I think even back then, I admired her chest!), so I cannnot wait to introduce him to this nice piece of synchronicity. Thank you, mintcake!
posted by Perko at 10:33 PM on December 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

I could get lost in roger ackroyd's image for hours. Eddie Money (no idea) is all cool'n'smoking. The strippers at the bar are "nude but nice", and all the while Cher's cold, heartless eyes threaten me with endless death.

Oh, and there's a message out of time from the Illuminati.
posted by Mezentian at 10:52 PM on December 4, 2012 [6 favorites]

It's funny, Dolly seemed kind of not into it. Maybe because Cher didn't seem to really let her sing much.

That said, I love both her and the Tubes (particularly the A&M era!), so this is super awesome for me.

"Mondo Bondage" is always welcomed, but it's cool to see them do "Smoke (La Vie en Fumer)" too.
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 11:16 PM on December 4, 2012

I miss unskeletal Dolly.

She's almost 70, give her a break.
posted by Malice at 11:21 PM on December 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

Continuing the derail: Billboards on Sunset - 1974-1975.

The original's from Fred Seibert of Frederator Studios. If you want mindblowingly-high-resolution Adventure Time background paintings for your desktop, his photostream is your go-to source.
posted by Lazlo at 11:37 PM on December 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

FUCK ME Mondo bondage is a good song. Dusting off turntable now. FUCK ME I miss, I miss this genre of TV and music.
posted by the noob at 12:34 AM on December 5, 2012

When Dolly is up top with the choir, I keep waiting for some kind of devilish antichoir to show up on either side of Cher. At any rate, despite the terrible tape-warped sound quality on this, it's mesmerizing. Maybe moreso because of it.
posted by axiom at 1:43 AM on December 5, 2012

Jesus. I couldn't make it through more than half of that. And then I cleansed my palate with Jimmy Scott.
posted by dobbs at 2:17 AM on December 5, 2012

Malice: "I miss unskeletal Dolly.

She's almost 70, give her a break"

And like Cher, has had extensive cosmetic surgery to make her face a Joker-mask of youth.

I always found these kind of variety show/specials especially confusing when I was younger (though they were on all the time). There never seemed to be any reasoning behind them, just a vehicle for some famous people to do weak skits with weak jokes and incongruous musical numbers like these. I never liked them, yet I'm still nostalgic.
posted by Red Loop at 3:06 AM on December 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

The 1970s were a helluva drug.
posted by delfin at 4:51 AM on December 5, 2012 [4 favorites]

Best part of this is that I know what the Tubes' stage show was like at that stage of their career. Cher approached them and described this fantastic medley with heaven and hell and smoke and demons and bondage and costume changes and Satan tormenting a soul and Fee Waybill turned to the band and said "K, standard set, we'll tone it down for the networks."
posted by delfin at 4:59 AM on December 5, 2012 [10 favorites]

I want go congratulate everyone involved in this production. 10 minutes. Who the hell is going to propose a masterwork of this quality of this length on network tv today?
posted by mikelieman at 6:18 AM on December 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

I really liked the Tubes when I was in high school. I had the opportunity to see them live many years later in a true "Spinal Tap and Puppet Show" moment when they were opening for Greg Kihn at the Morgan Hill Mushroom Mardi Gras in a free show.

Morgan Hill is a little cow town between San Jose and Gilroy. It has a fair number of mushroom farms, so in the late summer (which is brutally hot), you either get the scent of garlic from Gilroy or the scent of vast amounts of manure, depending on which way the wind was blowing.

The Mushroom Mardi Gras that year, out of several dozen food vendors, had two dedicated to mushrooms, exactly equal to the number that were dedicated to Thai chicken on a stick. By that measure, they could have called it the Morgan Hill Thai Chickenstraganza and been just as accurate.

I met a cute woman there to whom I gave my phone number. She never called.

So I guess everyone was a loser that day.
posted by plinth at 6:22 AM on December 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

This is the best tweet by Cher. YOUR MOVE, DOLLY.
posted by argonauta at 6:31 AM on December 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

Whenever I hear of "The Tubes"....takes me back...

Will my Suki find me in time
Or will her sushi spawn
The odor drives me out of my mind
The scent goes straight to my prawn

Su-su-sushi
Mushi-mushi
Cherry blossom and rice
Su-su-sushi she’s so nice
posted by incandissonance at 6:47 AM on December 5, 2012

Greg_Ace: The American auto industry at its "finest".

I am so desperately in love with that '76 ('77?) yellow Toyota Celica GT in the right-hand lane, coming toward the camera.

Also, I think I've driven that stretch of Sunset in Midnight Club: LA about a zillion times.
posted by hanov3r at 8:58 AM on December 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

Also, I think I've driven that stretch of Sunset in Midnight Club: LA about a zillion times.

I think we all have, if only in our own imaginations.
posted by blucevalo at 9:07 AM on December 5, 2012

Whenever I hear of "The Tubes"....takes me back.

As featured by Gil Fisher, the Fishin' Musician. That Willie-Nelson-looking guide kept getting them stuck in the weeds.
posted by Mental Wimp at 9:45 AM on December 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

hanov3r, my eye went immediately to that Celica as well. It looked very clean.
posted by mosk at 9:55 AM on December 5, 2012

I am currently working on a Tubes mega-post, but it is taking longer than I expected. So if anyone has links they want to share, or collaborate, let me know via PM.
posted by charlie don't surf at 10:27 AM on December 5, 2012

I know only two things about the Tubes: I bought (and still own) Remote Control and can still recite "Telecide" (YT link), and that Eric Idle parodied their title as "White Dopes on Punk," portraying a punker with a huge safety pin through his head.
posted by Bill Peschel at 6:54 PM on December 5, 2012