This bird's a bit buggy
December 6, 2012 8:28 PM   Subscribe

 
I sense a new sport or two in the making.
Death Race Parrots!
posted by Mezentian at 8:38 PM on December 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


A friend of mine has an African gray parrot. He would love one of these. Ideally with little pellet guns mounted on it to torture the dogs.
posted by fshgrl at 8:41 PM on December 6, 2012 [8 favorites]


Oh mi god. He's like a little Pharaoh in his chariot!
posted by deo rei at 8:41 PM on December 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


VOOM!
posted by Hicksu at 8:45 PM on December 6, 2012


I've always loved parrots. Would like one as a pet but it's a big commitment. I've spent time around a couple of them and man, they are smart.
posted by Miko at 8:50 PM on December 6, 2012


Too smart.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:54 PM on December 6, 2012


OK, at first I was totally skeptical about Google's driverless car initiative, but now I'm 100% on board.
posted by sexyrobot at 8:56 PM on December 6, 2012


heh, well now that you mention it...
posted by rebent at 8:58 PM on December 6, 2012


My cat watched that with deep fascination, then looked at me funny.
posted by unSane at 9:04 PM on December 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


This is the saddest thing I have ever seen.

♪♪you clipped my wings
to keep me on the grooound
then built me a car
so I can get arooound♪♪


Then rhyme fly and die. Fin.
posted by peacrow at 9:07 PM on December 6, 2012 [8 favorites]


That's going to be so helpful for his paper route.
posted by billyfleetwood at 9:19 PM on December 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


The only thing you really need to take away from this is that you still have to spread newspaper on the body of the "car" so that the parrot can poop on it. You see, it doesn't matter how smart the damn bird is, it still poops from where it sits, onto whatever is underneath it. I DON'T CARE HOW SMART YOU ARE, MINIATURE DINOSAUR, we still came up with indoor plumbing. Q.E.D.
posted by Curious Artificer at 9:21 PM on December 6, 2012 [19 favorites]


so can a bird expert tell me what the little movements it makes inbetween moving the cart around are? When it stretches and cranes its whole body upward and opens full beak? Cause I think its the African grey version of MUWUHAHAHAHAHA I'M THE GOD! I'M THE GOD!
posted by The Whelk at 9:37 PM on December 6, 2012 [18 favorites]


My cat watched that with deep fascination, then looked at me funny.

Allow me to translate: "meals on wheels!"
posted by yoink at 9:41 PM on December 6, 2012 [7 favorites]


They should make a full size car version. This guy is better than the dogs.
posted by eye of newt at 10:06 PM on December 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Great, now the birds and the robots are working together. I quit.
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 10:07 PM on December 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Not a bird expert, Whelk, but I've owned a few birds, and I think your read is accurate... that looks like a parrot that is having all the fun. None left for anyone else.
posted by Malor at 10:07 PM on December 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


Whelk: Bird eyes are on the sides of their heads, so facing front means they can't see a lot of the driving path. I think he's pausing so frequently so that he can get a good look at where he's headed and correct course if necessary.

It's certainly done with flair, though, so there may be elements of your explanation too.
posted by polymath at 10:14 PM on December 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


YOU HAVE THIS CAR BACK BY MIDNIGHT OR YOU'RE GROUNDED AND YOU WON'T SEE HER AGAIN
posted by ninjew at 10:25 PM on December 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


All he needs now is a little top hat and a monocle.
posted by neuromodulator at 10:25 PM on December 6, 2012 [4 favorites]


Look, somebody had to do it so it might as well be me. Just make sure you have the sound turned off on the BirdBuggy video.
posted by Anonymous at 10:35 PM on December 6, 2012


Oddly enough, I have the same newspaper arrangement in my car.

People don't ask for rides.
posted by maxwelton at 10:43 PM on December 6, 2012 [3 favorites]


Watching the parrot look around and adjust his trajectory was fascinating and scary. Mostly scary.
posted by deborah at 10:58 PM on December 6, 2012


I like the bit around 2:40 where the bird's search for signs of life in the back yard is rewarded by an encounter with an organism bearing a more effective transporter.
posted by flabdablet at 11:25 PM on December 6, 2012


Ideally with little pellet guns mounted on it to torture the dogs.

Cry havoc and let slip the parrots of war!
posted by ninazer0 at 11:34 PM on December 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


I feel the post text does not accurately represent the linked material. Mods, could you please add a short clarification, something like "NOT CUTESY VIDEO OF HAPLESS BIRD BEING TOWED AROUND IN TOY CAR, ACTUAL DINOSAUR DESCENDANT STEERING ROBOTIC VEHICLE (WITH POOP NEWSPAPER)".
posted by Dr Dracator at 1:32 AM on December 7, 2012 [6 favorites]


This guy is too indulgent. If my pets forget to properly park the car in the garage, they lose driving privileges for a week! this guy let's them get away with having the car park itself. When is that parrot going to learn responsibility?
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:54 AM on December 7, 2012 [2 favorites]


All he needs now is a little top hat and a monocle.

I think we're on the same page here; my first thought was that the parrot has exactly the same demeanor as I'd imagine on those men who were the first to drive a horseless carriage.
posted by Anything at 1:56 AM on December 7, 2012 [3 favorites]


That video was lovely until the buggy became sentient. I will now have nightmares about cowering in an explosion-rocked bunker as one by one, the viewscreens cut to snow. 'We went too far!' I'll be screaming. 'A parrot driving a little car wasn't enough - we had to make it aliv- wait, what's that noise?' The fizz of a blowtorch attachment cleaving through the bulkhead.
posted by RokkitNite at 2:34 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


I think it's great that Pontiac is trying to revive itself, but the new Firebird leaves much to be desired.
posted by orme at 3:55 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


Reminds me of The Cockroach Controlled Mobile Robot.
posted by zengargoyle at 4:29 AM on December 7, 2012


If I see that lazy fucker shopping at Wal-Mart...
posted by punkfloyd at 4:42 AM on December 7, 2012


What makes this perfect is the newspaper. He may be driving a car but he's still a bird.
posted by tommasz at 5:25 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


Sure, give them access to human technology. Great idea. It starts innocently enough, but then they get their beaks on an ax.
posted by Flunkie at 5:57 AM on December 7, 2012


1. Where is Parry Grip when you need him?

2. Somebody should show this to NASA so the next rover mission to Mars is crewed entirely by parrots.
posted by briank at 6:02 AM on December 7, 2012


In tiny little spacesuits! Admittedly the spacesuits would be full of poop.
posted by elizardbits at 6:31 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


Did you stick around long enough (2:44) to see that it has awesome AUTONOMOUS DOCKING MODE? Car detects lack of feathered driver then searches out its own source of sustenance.

Still, though, it has a quaint human-powered excrement shield.
posted by achrise at 6:50 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


What are you thinking, fools, he's going to drive directly to the next piece of the planispheric disk.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:50 AM on December 7, 2012


They see me rollin',
They hatin',
Tryin' catch me ridin' birdy..


imagine how embarrassed i am that someone already posted the relevant youtube dub... not very actually
posted by codacorolla at 8:09 AM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


Short Attention Span Parrot
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 8:22 AM on December 7, 2012


Bird eyes are on the sides of their heads, so facing front means they can't see a lot of the driving path

that's not really true - their eyes are on the sides of the head, yes, but that's actually so that they can have almost 360 vision. The area in front of their faces is where the field of vision from each eye overlaps, so that is where they have the best depth preception. When a bird looks at you through one eye with the head turned, that's a friendly or curious gaze. Anything they look at directly in front of their faces is about to be Acted Upon - flown at, eaten, bitten, landed on or demanded a scrtach from. I can tell when my birds are about to take a treat from my hand, because the eyes will swivel forward and lock on to the target - they even bulge out of the head a bit - it's pretty cool.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 2:03 PM on December 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


I would assume it might be an aspect of superstitious behavior
posted by rebent at 2:53 PM on December 7, 2012


oh hey, update: 'Bird Buggy' keeps noisy parrot quiet — and mobile
posted by rebent at 9:32 PM on December 8, 2012


Gray noticed that Pepper was calmer when they were in the same room.

Ah, see, he's just not spending enough time with her. Parrots need lots and lots of attention. They get lonely, and a lonely parrot is a loud parrot. He should add another, spend more time with her, or give her to someone who can.
posted by Malor at 8:31 AM on December 9, 2012




Metafilter: admittedly the spacesuits would be full of poop.
posted by flabdablet at 6:08 AM on December 14, 2012


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