Talkin Like Walken
December 13, 2012 12:07 PM Subscribe
Walking With Walken, a short film [10min] from 2001 about an amateur comedian who maybe takes his Christopher Walken impressions a little too seriously.
Joe Don Baker stars in WALKEN TALL.
posted by THAT William Mize at 12:37 PM on December 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by THAT William Mize at 12:37 PM on December 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
But does he talk the Tolkein...
posted by phaedon at 12:56 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by phaedon at 12:56 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
If that's real, it's pretty touching. If it's fake, then the guy is a really good actor.
posted by snofoam at 1:17 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by snofoam at 1:17 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
Is there a word in any language for uncomfortable recoiling pity plus ... admiration?
posted by kitcat at 1:27 PM on December 13, 2012
posted by kitcat at 1:27 PM on December 13, 2012
I saw a sign outside a barbershop today with a huge picture of Christopher Walken' face.
"Walkens welcome," the text said.
Somewhat off topic but I felt I had to post this finding somewhere.
posted by Erberus at 2:30 PM on December 13, 2012 [3 favorites]
"Walkens welcome," the text said.
Somewhat off topic but I felt I had to post this finding somewhere.
posted by Erberus at 2:30 PM on December 13, 2012 [3 favorites]
I give that 6 out of 10 whoas.
The standard for all Walken impersonations was set by Titus Welliver.
posted by Kandarp Von Bontee at 2:47 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
The standard for all Walken impersonations was set by Titus Welliver.
posted by Kandarp Von Bontee at 2:47 PM on December 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
But does he talk the Tolkein...
Hello, little hobbit. Boy, you are a fine person, and I am very fond of you; but you are only quite a little fellow in a wide world after all.
See, I was a good friend of your uncle's. We were in that Mordor pit of hell together for over five years.
Hopefully, you'll never have to experience this yourself, but when two men are in a situation like me and your uncle were, for as long as we were, you take on certain responsibilities of the other.
If it had been me who had not - made it, Bilbo would be talking right now to Radigast the Brown. But the way it turned out is I'm talking to you, Frodo.
I got something for you.
*Holds up ring*
This ring.
This ring I got here was first forged by the dark lord Sauron in the fires of Orodruin during the Second Age. It was made to be the ruling ring. Up until it was made, people just wore the 19 rings of power made by Celebrimor. This was Isildur’s war ring, and he cut it off Sauron’s hand in the war. Then when he had done his duty, he went home, took the ring off and put it in an old coffee can. And in that can it stayed 'til another hobbit, Deagol, found the ring and was killed by Smeagol. This time the ring went to the Misty Mountains.
Unfortunately, Smeagol’s luck wasn't good and he was corrupted over 500 years as the ring poisoned his mind. Bilbo was a burglar when he found the ring and Smeagol, now Gollum, confronted him.
Bilbo was facing death, he knew it. None of those dwarves had any illusions about ever leaving the lonely mountain alive. But before he died Thorin Oakenshield forgave Bilbo and sent him on his way. And he went home, until his eleventy first birthday when he at long last, left the shire forever. But Bilbo kept his word, delivering to you, Sauron’s gold ring. This ring.
This ring was in your uncle's pocket when he fought the Wargs. He knew if the Orcs ever saw the ring it'd be confiscated; taken away. The way your uncle looked at it, this ring was your birthright. He'd be damned if any Olog-Hai were gonna put their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ass. Five long years, he wore this ring up his ass. And then he died of dysentery, he gave me the ring.
I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass from the lowest dungeon to the highest peak until at last I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountain side. Darkness took me, and I strayed out of thought and time. The stars wheeled overhead, and every day was as long as a life age of the earth. But it was not the end. I felt life in me again. I've been sent back until my task is done.
And now, little man, I give the ring to you.
posted by Smedleyman at 4:35 PM on December 13, 2012 [12 favorites]
Hello, little hobbit. Boy, you are a fine person, and I am very fond of you; but you are only quite a little fellow in a wide world after all.
See, I was a good friend of your uncle's. We were in that Mordor pit of hell together for over five years.
Hopefully, you'll never have to experience this yourself, but when two men are in a situation like me and your uncle were, for as long as we were, you take on certain responsibilities of the other.
If it had been me who had not - made it, Bilbo would be talking right now to Radigast the Brown. But the way it turned out is I'm talking to you, Frodo.
I got something for you.
*Holds up ring*
This ring.
This ring I got here was first forged by the dark lord Sauron in the fires of Orodruin during the Second Age. It was made to be the ruling ring. Up until it was made, people just wore the 19 rings of power made by Celebrimor. This was Isildur’s war ring, and he cut it off Sauron’s hand in the war. Then when he had done his duty, he went home, took the ring off and put it in an old coffee can. And in that can it stayed 'til another hobbit, Deagol, found the ring and was killed by Smeagol. This time the ring went to the Misty Mountains.
Unfortunately, Smeagol’s luck wasn't good and he was corrupted over 500 years as the ring poisoned his mind. Bilbo was a burglar when he found the ring and Smeagol, now Gollum, confronted him.
Bilbo was facing death, he knew it. None of those dwarves had any illusions about ever leaving the lonely mountain alive. But before he died Thorin Oakenshield forgave Bilbo and sent him on his way. And he went home, until his eleventy first birthday when he at long last, left the shire forever. But Bilbo kept his word, delivering to you, Sauron’s gold ring. This ring.
This ring was in your uncle's pocket when he fought the Wargs. He knew if the Orcs ever saw the ring it'd be confiscated; taken away. The way your uncle looked at it, this ring was your birthright. He'd be damned if any Olog-Hai were gonna put their greasy yellow hands on his boy's birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ass. Five long years, he wore this ring up his ass. And then he died of dysentery, he gave me the ring.
I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass from the lowest dungeon to the highest peak until at last I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin upon the mountain side. Darkness took me, and I strayed out of thought and time. The stars wheeled overhead, and every day was as long as a life age of the earth. But it was not the end. I felt life in me again. I've been sent back until my task is done.
And now, little man, I give the ring to you.
posted by Smedleyman at 4:35 PM on December 13, 2012 [12 favorites]
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posted by oulipian at 12:35 PM on December 13, 2012