Santa Baby
December 25, 2012 12:29 AM Subscribe
Martians.
Nuff said.
Ray Walston taught me to have respect for Martians, even after Looney Tunes taught me they were a lot less dangerous than they acted. So this movie just confused me and gave me my first serious doubt as to the reality of Santa Claus. No thanks.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:09 AM on December 25, 2012
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:09 AM on December 25, 2012
If you track back through the astronomy, there are only a few candidates for the Star of Bethlehem. None of them are Mars. You've got planetary conjunctions and Uranus and supernovas, oh my!
So I reject our new Martian overlords, based on Biblical evidence.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:43 AM on December 25, 2012
So I reject our new Martian overlords, based on Biblical evidence.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:43 AM on December 25, 2012
Didn't you read the post? He said "nuff said", not comment willy nilly!
posted by Brocktoon at 1:51 AM on December 25, 2012
posted by Brocktoon at 1:51 AM on December 25, 2012
not comment willy nilly
Jewish Muslims such as myself are conflicted enough. Let's not make the holidays more uncomfortable.
Plus, my parents are showing up tomorrow.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:06 AM on December 25, 2012
Jewish Muslims such as myself are conflicted enough. Let's not make the holidays more uncomfortable.
Plus, my parents are showing up tomorrow.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:06 AM on December 25, 2012
This post is nothing without pointing out that it is also available for download at archive.org.
Plus, that theme song. Hell yes.
posted by Katemonkey at 2:58 AM on December 25, 2012 [2 favorites]
Plus, that theme song. Hell yes.
posted by Katemonkey at 2:58 AM on December 25, 2012 [2 favorites]
"We're here with the early returns on Christmas Day. Reporting from the East Coast, we turn to our correspondent from the East."
"Thanks to you, and a Merry Christmas! First reports are in for Timmy in Brooklyn, who wanted a sleigh. It looks pretty good for Timmy. An earlier challenge of socks and underwear is below and behind."
"Also just in, Sally on Long Island is projected to get the doll house, retaining her house majority"
"But Little Billy in New Hampshire may lose his car seat, pending the ongoing investigation of whether he has been naughty or nice."
"A big winner tonight is Jeff, from Nantucket, who was an underdog. Apparently he has won, and again, these are early results, a pet dog."
"At this point we a projecting a win in Connecticut for Bobby, who wanted a hockey stick. Many pundits already predicted this win, because of Bobby's support by a super-puck."
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:55 AM on December 25, 2012 [2 favorites]
"Thanks to you, and a Merry Christmas! First reports are in for Timmy in Brooklyn, who wanted a sleigh. It looks pretty good for Timmy. An earlier challenge of socks and underwear is below and behind."
"Also just in, Sally on Long Island is projected to get the doll house, retaining her house majority"
"But Little Billy in New Hampshire may lose his car seat, pending the ongoing investigation of whether he has been naughty or nice."
"A big winner tonight is Jeff, from Nantucket, who was an underdog. Apparently he has won, and again, these are early results, a pet dog."
"At this point we a projecting a win in Connecticut for Bobby, who wanted a hockey stick. Many pundits already predicted this win, because of Bobby's support by a super-puck."
posted by twoleftfeet at 3:55 AM on December 25, 2012 [2 favorites]
"That's a city? All above ground? Why, we could destroy it with one blast of our Q-ray!"
posted by gubo at 4:49 AM on December 25, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by gubo at 4:49 AM on December 25, 2012 [1 favorite]
Ah, the pre-Riklis Pia Zadora. So innocent. So talentless.
posted by Splunge at 6:50 AM on December 25, 2012
posted by Splunge at 6:50 AM on December 25, 2012
MST3K version
Came in here to say there must be a MST3K or Rifftrax version. Did not leave disappointed. Merry Christmas!
posted by orme at 7:09 AM on December 25, 2012
Came in here to say there must be a MST3K or Rifftrax version. Did not leave disappointed. Merry Christmas!
posted by orme at 7:09 AM on December 25, 2012
The MST3K version of this is a pretty good introductory episode. The movie is really really bad, but not abysmal in the sense of Manos, Monster A-Go-Go, Red Zone Cuba, The Creeping Terror, The Room, Birdemic or Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny, there's still a basic competence there, and there's even a bit of character development in Commander Keymar, a good Martian driven to desperate lengths. Voldar isn't entirely reprehensible either; he does bad things, but because he's concerned about the direction that his planet is going in.
Unfortunately, it also contains Droppo. So I don't suggest watching it without Joel and Company (in either of their TWO treatments of this film -- they redid it as Cinematic Titanic).
posted by JHarris at 4:08 PM on December 25, 2012
Unfortunately, it also contains Droppo. So I don't suggest watching it without Joel and Company (in either of their TWO treatments of this film -- they redid it as Cinematic Titanic).
posted by JHarris at 4:08 PM on December 25, 2012
Five minutes in, I realized that this would be better enjoyed with Joel, Servo and Crow. Thanks for the Boxing Day movie!
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 1:04 PM on December 27, 2012
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 1:04 PM on December 27, 2012
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This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
What is so wrong about being Martian-American? Sure, we're illegal aliens, but you should respect us because we are sentient beings, just like you. Just because we put the gift wrap inside the presents, instead of outside, as you Earthlings do, that doesn't mean that we can't all come together and celebrate the season. I wish you all a very merry Cjbxrtzzk, and a Happy New TTWX^B&/.
posted by twoleftfeet at 12:55 AM on December 25, 2012