Take that Gareth Morgan!
January 25, 2013 6:55 AM   Subscribe

 
“Our policy is not containment. It is prevention,” Kerry said, underscoring an issue that could very well dominate the initial months of his presumed tenure at the State Department. “No one should mistake our resolve to stop Iran from developing a nuclear weapon kitten" , he added.
posted by HuronBob at 7:00 AM on January 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


The association of kittens with nuclear holocaust is not one I approve of.
posted by arcticseal at 7:00 AM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


You see smiling, I see screaming.
posted by blue_beetle at 7:14 AM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Wait, is that supposed to be good or bad?
posted by Naberius at 7:33 AM on January 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Both.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:35 AM on January 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


Please don't let cyriak see this.
posted by maudlin at 7:35 AM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Man, I thought it said, "take that, Garth Marenghi!"
posted by mustard seeds at 7:39 AM on January 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


WE WILL DROP THEM ON YOUR NARDS WHILE YOU ARE SLEEPING
posted by louche mustachio at 7:41 AM on January 25, 2013


"We don't target cities. We target time zones."

Guy who worked at a launch site, to an NPR science show, some years back.
posted by hank at 7:42 AM on January 25, 2013


Man, I thought it said, "take that, Garth Marenghi!"

Mike stared in disbelief as his hands fell off. From them rose millions of tiny kittens. Kittens!? Kittens. Kittens. Kittens. Kittens. (Checks line)...Kittens. All over the floor of the post office, in Leytonstone.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 8:00 AM on January 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


that was a catastrophe
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:02 AM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


The owl-based science is all that matters.
posted by Vectorcon Systems at 8:11 AM on January 25, 2013 [9 favorites]


I thought it said Megatron kittens. I used to have a kitten (later cat) named Megatron.
posted by snottydick at 8:34 AM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Sarah Connor's cuddlier dream.
posted by Beardman at 9:23 AM on January 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


That made me happier than I had any right to expect.
posted by Kitteh at 9:32 AM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Eeeeponysterikul
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 9:59 AM on January 25, 2013


Not fuzed for detonation at altitude?
posted by zippy at 10:29 AM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


At the beginning I thought it was one of those annoying video openers and the real content would follow. But that was the whole thing. Does this appeal to anyone beyond teletubby age? Is it some kind of generational thing?
posted by DarkForest at 11:12 AM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


As God is my witness, I thought kittens could fly!
posted by gamera at 11:30 AM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Show this to that "eliminate all the cats" dude in New Zealand. He'll have nightmares forever.
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:37 AM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


I know a Gareth Morgan who worked in the computer graphics industry but who is now at a video gaming company ... Can anyone clue me in who the Gareth Morgan namechecked in the FPP is please?
posted by kcds at 11:43 AM on January 25, 2013


Following is an actual conversation I had yesterday with my high-energy, fast-talking coworker T., who's about 4'10" and crazy in a good way.

T. came out of the restroom as I was passing by and we walked down the hall together. I was coughing into the crook of my elbow when we first encountered each other.

T: "Cough cough!"
M: You know they call this the vampire cough now?
T: "The vampire cough?"
M: Yeah, because it looks like you're pretending to be a vampire. [I demonstrated by pretending to be a vampire.]
T: Oh! Well, they should teach kids that in school when they learn how to cough!
M: They totally should!
[At this point, we reached her office and were standing outside it.]
T: Did you know that in World War II they were going to use vampires to drop bombs?
[Traci and I both have a very dry sense of humor, and we often tell each other bullshit with a straight face, so I thought this is where that was going.]
M: I did not know that.
T: Oh, they totally were going to do it. I don't remember the details. But they thought it would be a good idea because, you know, you can entice them to move in groups and, of course, they fly.
M: Okay..... So how exactly was this going to work?
T: Well, they started doing research and they figured out how much they could carry. I don't know how they figured that out -- I guess they just strapped a lot of weights to them to see how many weights they could put on and still fly. So they figured that out and then they made these tiny little bombs and then they figured out how to put them in vests or something.
M: And they were going to wear these vests and drop the bombs?
T: Yes, exactly! Because in Japan --
M: Oh, you mean it was JAPAN doing this research. Okay, that makes actually makes some sense.
T: No, they were going to drop the bombs ON Japan.
M: Buh... Who's "they"?
T: Us! The U.S.!
M: This was government-sponsored research?
T: Exactly.
M: In WWII, the US government was going to use vampires to drop bombs on Japan.
T: No, not vampires, BATS.
M: You said vampires! [We both collapse in fits of laughter.]
T: I wondered why you had that look on your face.

posted by mudpuppie at 12:19 PM on January 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


Related: Giant Dubstep Kitties
posted by ymgve at 12:47 PM on January 25, 2013


This is why I stay away from cat droppings.
posted by baconaut at 1:05 PM on January 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Gareth Morgan is the above-mentioned anti-feline Kiwi.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 1:42 PM on January 25, 2013


No.
posted by Alles at 2:06 PM on January 25, 2013


Apocalypse Meow
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 11:42 PM on January 25, 2013


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