Tag, you're it. For a year.

January 29, 2013 7:27 AM

A game of tag between four men has lasted 23 years.
posted by mark7570 (52 comments total)

Ten men.

But I am a little bit jealous of their ability to stay connected, decades after high school, with the stupidity of this game.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 7:34 AM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

If only there was someway we could play this in Metafilter...
posted by arcticseal at 7:34 AM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

What they didn't know was Sean Raftis, who was "It," had flown in from Seattle and was folded in the trunk of the Honda Accord. When the trunk was opened he leapt out and tagged Mr. Tombari, whose wife was so startled she fell backward off the curb and tore a ligament in her knee.

"I still feel bad about it," says Father Raftis, who is now a priest in Montana. "But I got Joe."

I have never before made the noise I made when I got to "Father Raftis." The woman in the next cubicle who has had several strokes actually started the protocol to make sure I was okay.
posted by Etrigan at 7:36 AM on January 29, 2013 [27 favorites]

Sounds like the "Olympic Hide and Seek" sketch from Monty Python.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 7:36 AM on January 29, 2013 [7 favorites]

This would be a great way to get rid of friends you don't want to hang out with anymore.
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:37 AM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

If only there was someway we could play this in Metafilter...

Flagged "fantastic comment" you're it!
posted by samsara at 7:37 AM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

But they were doing other things too, right?
posted by mazola at 7:37 AM on January 29, 2013 [3 favorites]

(Something about how the 1% are playing a children's game using jets and fancy office buildings while the 99% have to act like adults and actually work)
posted by FJT at 7:39 AM on January 29, 2013 [3 favorites]

I guarantee these guys are not the 1%.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:44 AM on January 29, 2013 [8 favorites]

That means players get tagged at work and in bed.

Interesting look into their personal lives.
posted by DU at 7:47 AM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

Thanks for the correction, @Homeboy Trouble - 10 friends, not 4. I got tripped up by that golf photo.
posted by mark7570 at 7:49 AM on January 29, 2013

I guarantee these guys are not the 1%.

Well, one of them is the chief marketing officer at Nordstrom, so... him, maybe?
posted by Tomorrowful at 7:49 AM on January 29, 2013

So moving on from the 1%-or-not question, am I the only one who's already casting the Judd Apatow movie in his head?
posted by Tomorrowful at 7:50 AM on January 29, 2013

Yeah, I think the movie should star Seth Rogen and 9 clones of Seth Rogen.
posted by Mister_A at 7:52 AM on January 29, 2013 [3 favorites]

For me the mad cackling started at the bit about the one dude who hid in the bushes for two days while the potential tagee was on vacation.
posted by elizardbits at 7:55 AM on January 29, 2013 [7 favorites]

Appropriate use of the 'tag' tag. Very meta.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:55 AM on January 29, 2013 [29 favorites]

The poor priest, like the article says, what's he do when he's at Mass on Sundays in February, I mean, the dude can't just throw down the ciborium and run off when "It" comes up for communion.
posted by resurrexit at 7:56 AM on January 29, 2013 [5 favorites]

Doesn't top Harold Holt's record for longest game of Hide and Seek. That man played to win.
posted by TwelveTwo at 7:56 AM on January 29, 2013 [5 favorites]

I can just imagine what the funeral for the first of them to die is going to be like.

(Lot's of fun!)
posted by oddman at 8:09 AM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

Looking ahead 30-40 years, it's gonna be a sad day when the guy who is "it" falls into the grave before he tags someone else.

Although:

"Mrs. It? It, Jr? I'm so sorry for your lo..."

"Tag! You're IT!"

posted by notyou at 8:17 AM on January 29, 2013 [4 favorites]

I can just imagine what the funeral for the first of them to die is going to be like.

I think Mad Magazine has already depicted those events in a very famous comic which I unfortunately cannot find on the Interwebs. Mad's founder William Gaines supposedly had his wife "Last Tag" him on his deathbed as a nod to it.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 8:18 AM on January 29, 2013 [2 favorites]

I keep trying to picture that car trunk scene -- so, you're showing your friend the car and you go to show him the "spacious" trunk and when you pop it open...voila...there is Father Raftis curled up inside!

But how fast can one unfurl one's self from a trunk?

I imagine the target of the tag would just jump back and then there would be this mad dash around the car in circles that lasts the entire month of February.

But I bet what really happened was that the tagee tripped over his own wife injuring her knee, allowing Father Raftis to climb out of the trunk, do a yawning stretch and a "boop" on his target's nose saying "you're it!" before apologizing to the wounded wife.
posted by This_Will_Be_Good at 8:30 AM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

But how fast can one unfurl one's self from a trunk?

When someone emerges from a trunk (or suitcase, or closet) that they genuinely were not expecting anyone to be in, a lot of people simply freeze, because What the fuck?!?

You know that scene in many action movies where the hero bursts out of something and calmly guns down multiple bad guys while they stand there like idiots? That's the same thing. The mind just doesn't compute THREAT that quickly all the time.
posted by Etrigan at 8:34 AM on January 29, 2013 [3 favorites]

Looking ahead 30-40 years, it's gonna be a sad day when the guy who is "it" falls into the grave before he tags someone else.

It was the cooties that got him. But at least he didn't suffer much.
posted by Kabanos at 8:40 AM on January 29, 2013 [2 favorites]

They don't talk about it, but these guys actually started out playing freeze tag. Three of them died before they changed the rules.
posted by orme at 8:52 AM on January 29, 2013 [2 favorites]

You know that scene in many action movies where the hero bursts out of something and calmly guns down multiple bad guys while they stand there like idiots?

In the sequel to movie version that's what's going to happen: "Tag 2: Playing For Keeps!" Joe and his unsuspecting wife go out to the car with their friend to see what he bought, and he pops open the trunk and all of a sudden this crazed . . . um . . . priest . . . jumps out . . . um guns blazing and . . . . never mind. We're gonna work on this a little more.
posted by The Bellman at 9:01 AM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

I wonder if the game of Tag would exist if it wasn't for the Bubonic Plague.
posted by cacofonie at 9:02 AM on January 29, 2013

One year early on when Mike Konesky was "It," he got confirmation, after midnight, that people were home at the house where two other players lived. He pulled up to their place at around 2 a.m., sneaked into the garage and groped around in the dark for the house door. "It was open," he says. "I'm like, 'Oh, man, I could get arrested.' "

Mr. Konesky tiptoed toward Mr. Dennehy's bedroom, burst through the door and flipped on the light. A bleary-eyed Mr. Dennehy looked up as his now-wife yelled "Run, Brian!" Mr. Konesky recalls. "There was nowhere for Brian to run."

Or he could have been shot. Anybody want to run the odds that one of them will die because of the game?
posted by achrise at 9:19 AM on January 29, 2013

Mod note: Folks maybe leave the 1% derail alone?
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:36 AM on January 29, 2013 [3 favorites]

I loved this.

It's awesome to be reminded that adult life is not simply a vale of cynic wisdom, workplace ladders, and turning fun FPPs about tag into debates about the 1%.

For these guys, at least for 28 days, it's exciting, anxious, good fun.

My entire childhood, I was told to sacrifice the freedom and enjoyment I had been granted in order to make enough money to have the freedom and enjoyment I had given up.
posted by Debaser626 at 9:37 AM on January 29, 2013 [13 favorites]

Mr. Konesky tiptoed toward Mr. Dennehy's bedroom, burst through the door and flipped on the light. A bleary-eyed Mr. Dennehy looked up as his now-wife yelled "Run, Brian!" Mr. Konesky recalls. "There was nowhere for Brian to run."

I actually shrieked with laughter at "Run, Brian!"

Also, the fact that his girlfriend knew what was going on makes me think that these guys are pretty on tap in February. I don't think anyone's going to get killed.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 10:07 AM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

I still have a couple "late reaction" flinches with my best friend from when we were 13. He knows it, too.
posted by notsnot at 10:14 AM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

This could be adapted for people who can't afford to fly all over the country. If I had a core group of friends in the same city or region, we could certainly designate a month for tag across the city. Perhaps institute a rule that you can't tag-back the person who got you within 48 hours or something like that. This game could be adapted for any group of friends I'd think.
posted by Danila at 10:15 AM on January 29, 2013

Yeah, it definitely reminds me of the zombie-human and Assassin-type games that are popular on college campuses right now. Those games really are just tag. People get really into them.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 10:19 AM on January 29, 2013

The poor priest, like the article says, what's he do when he's at Mass on Sundays in February, I mean, the dude can't just throw down the ciborium and run off when "It" comes up for communion.

posted by resurrexit

eponymywayoutthedoor
posted by me & my monkey at 10:30 AM on January 29, 2013 [3 favorites]

Father Raftis? Your friend Brian Dennehy is very ill. He wants you to give him last rites.

Tell him to go to hell, I'm not falling for that one.
posted by Splunge at 11:03 AM on January 29, 2013 [11 favorites]

The Find My Friends app would make this so very interesting if it were incorporated. I think I need to convince my best friend, who lives in my town, to play with me. I can see tracking her through the aisles of Target.
posted by nuala at 11:22 AM on January 29, 2013

I think I'm going to steal some of these moves for my Assassins game that starts next week. It's an honor to learn from the true professionals.
posted by tooloudinhere at 11:22 AM on January 29, 2013

I didn't know whether to think this game was stupid or wonderful while reading this article, but the comments here are the funniest I've read in months.
posted by kozad at 11:30 AM on January 29, 2013

"Once I step foot outside the rectory, all bets are off," the priest says.

I wish they'd elaborated on why he's safe in the rectory. Does he have some special dispensation? Highlander-type "holy ground" rules in the tag participation agreement? Obviously there's not a safe ground in employment location, given Dennehy's concerns about security.

The failure of the reporter to secure a copy of this agreement and put it in DocumentCloud shows an abdication of modern reporting standards.
posted by phearlez at 11:53 AM on January 29, 2013

> "I felt bad," says Mr. Ammann, who went out of town for the weekend. "I think I would have sacrificed getting tagged to spend some time with him."

> Mr. Schultheis once refused to help a colleague change his tire, fearing the guy had been recruited to help get him tagged.

We men have trouble knowing how to just be friends with each other, without basing it on some ceremony or external object.
posted by benito.strauss at 12:24 PM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

I wish they'd elaborated on why he's safe in the rectory. Does he have some special dispensation? Highlander-type "holy ground" rules in the tag participation agreement?

I figured he was just more careful to lock the doors and secure the windows in February and was thus safe-ish inside, unlike that guy who forgot about his garage door.
posted by rewil at 12:46 PM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

Yeah, I think the movie should star Seth Rogen and 9 clones of Seth Rogen.

In other words: Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Zach Galifianakis...
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:57 PM on January 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

The wife tears a knee ligament but we're told "It could have been worse for Father Tombari."

Um, yeah. It could have been his knee.

----

Still. This is a better game than "Icing".
posted by surplus at 1:07 PM on January 29, 2013

I wish they'd elaborated on why he's safe in the rectory. Does he have some special dispensation? Highlander-type "holy ground" rules in the tag participation agreement?

C'mon - surely you're familiar with the concept of sanctuary!
posted by sixpack at 1:33 PM on January 29, 2013

We men have trouble knowing how to just be friends with each other, without basing it on some ceremony or external object.

You do not speak for me or my male friends, thank you.
posted by phearlez at 2:17 PM on January 29, 2013 [2 favorites]

Beat me to this FPP. Was fascinated that the SO was sufficiently affectionate towards the game that the reaction to being woken up in the middle of the night was "Run Brian!" and not "okay, either Tag goes or I do.". Because that would be Ms. dry white toast's reaction for sure.

As for death, I presume one's It-ness would be bequeathed to the appropriate descendant in the last will and testament.

OR, they have the option of telling one of the remaining players they're It in their will. Seems only sporting.
posted by dry white toast at 3:16 PM on January 29, 2013

This was brilliant, and it made me very happy. I am glad these guys exist. Personally, I would rather people who had money used it on something like this than, well, most of the things people use money on. Don't be a bunch of utter sourpusses.
posted by Because at 3:08 AM on January 30, 2013 [1 favorite]

Dreams do come true.

@radamsWSJ (Russell Adams) 1:55 PM: My story about a 23-year game of Tag now has a link to the contract outlining the rules: on.wsj.com/TOZhlC via @WSJ
posted by phearlez at 11:03 AM on January 30, 2013 [3 favorites]

Awww, that's nice. Not mentioned anywhere in the article as I recall : the terms of the game agreement state that every non-It participant, at the end of each year's game, sends It a check for $25. The person who is It then gathers that up and makes a donation of their alma mater.

There's also a provision to adjust that up for inflation.
posted by phearlez at 12:17 PM on January 30, 2013

The person who is It then gathers that up and makes a donation of their alma mater.

In the name of "It," no less. These guys are walking tagging awesomeness.
posted by Etrigan at 12:24 PM on January 30, 2013

::Many Years Later::

Deacon: Father Raftis. Your friend, Mr. Dennehy has died. His family would like you to do his eulogy.

Father Raftis (old and quite infirm, shaking his cane in his gnarled hands): No! Out with you, out! OUT! I will not succumb to his evil trickery! Don't you know what month it is?

Deacon: Certainly Father, it's February.

Father Raftis: Yes. Yes. The month of hell. The month of the IT! No, I will not fall for that trickery. Oh no. Others have fallen in this month, I will not be one of them.

Deacon: But father...

Father Raftis: Come here boy. Come here. Sit. Listen for a moment. February is the month... the month that I hate. That we all hate. You know that don't you?

Deacon: Well, yes father, so have you taught us but...

FR: And so should you KNOW! And so should you know...

D: But...

FR: Speak me no buts. We are VIGILANT! We let no outsiders into the walls of our sacred house. None enter, but they are cleansed and vetted carefully. This is our way, is it not?

D: Yes father.

FR: Good. Good. And what is your name, my son?

D: My name, Father?

FR: Yes your cursed NAME, boy!

Deacon: My name is Junior.

FR: What a silly name. Junior, that is it?

D: No there is more. (he stands up and leans over the old man) My name is Brian... Dennehy JUNIOR! AND YOU ARE IT!

FR: NO! (And then he grabs his chest, his heart failing, and falls to the floor dead)

Deacon: And you are IT. FOREVER!
posted by Splunge at 8:47 PM on January 31, 2013 [2 favorites]