Perfect for that breakfast on the go, and creeping out your friends.
April 10, 2013 5:48 AM Subscribe
Oh help me, Mr Popeil!
posted by Melismata at 5:51 AM on April 10, 2013 [11 favorites]
posted by Melismata at 5:51 AM on April 10, 2013 [11 favorites]
Whoa. This might finally solve the problem of What To Do With The Dry, Yucky, Crumbly Middle Of A Hardboiled Egg.
posted by DU at 5:53 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by DU at 5:53 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
I wonder how many eggs I can scramble at the supermarket before I get kicked out?
posted by orme at 5:59 AM on April 10, 2013 [16 favorites]
posted by orme at 5:59 AM on April 10, 2013 [16 favorites]
Boy, I bet Brains feels silly after watching that video.
posted by jepler at 6:01 AM on April 10, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by jepler at 6:01 AM on April 10, 2013 [3 favorites]
That problem has already been solved. You mix it with mayo, mustard, salt, pepper, paprika and a bit of hot sauce then spoon it back in.
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:01 AM on April 10, 2013 [20 favorites]
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:01 AM on April 10, 2013 [20 favorites]
These are Their Own Thing - good scrambled eggs have a creamy texture that comes from low and slow heat, some cooking fat (olive oil or butter), and water or milk to make them fluffy.
These would probably make an amazing egg salad, tho.
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:02 AM on April 10, 2013 [4 favorites]
These would probably make an amazing egg salad, tho.
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:02 AM on April 10, 2013 [4 favorites]
I liked this comment:
These instructions weren't clear enough I got my dick stuck in the ceiling fan
But I'm 10. (don't tell the mods!)
posted by Goofyy at 6:06 AM on April 10, 2013 [12 favorites]
These instructions weren't clear enough I got my dick stuck in the ceiling fan
But I'm 10. (don't tell the mods!)
posted by Goofyy at 6:06 AM on April 10, 2013 [12 favorites]
Wait.
It's talking about how to scramble hard boiled eggs? Isn't that sort of....culinarily impossible?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:27 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
It's talking about how to scramble hard boiled eggs? Isn't that sort of....culinarily impossible?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:27 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
On the one hand, this is sort of clever. On the other hand, there are so many better ways to prepare eggs.
posted by ryanrs at 6:29 AM on April 10, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by ryanrs at 6:29 AM on April 10, 2013 [6 favorites]
This is the sort of thing that I would have totally done to my parents when I was growing up, just to confuse them.
I often did the pre-sliced banana trick as well (sticking a needle in the corners and wiggling it) and would also very carefully wrap apples in orange peels that I surgically cut off of oranges. All I would have needed to add to make a perfect surrealist meal would have been some sort of "bread trick"
posted by MysticMCJ at 6:30 AM on April 10, 2013 [12 favorites]
I often did the pre-sliced banana trick as well (sticking a needle in the corners and wiggling it) and would also very carefully wrap apples in orange peels that I surgically cut off of oranges. All I would have needed to add to make a perfect surrealist meal would have been some sort of "bread trick"
posted by MysticMCJ at 6:30 AM on April 10, 2013 [12 favorites]
It's talking about how to scramble hard boiled eggs? Isn't that sort of....culinarily impossible?
If only there were some means of finding out what it's talking about!
posted by DU at 6:33 AM on April 10, 2013 [18 favorites]
If only there were some means of finding out what it's talking about!
posted by DU at 6:33 AM on April 10, 2013 [18 favorites]
This is the sort of thing that I would have totally done to my parents when I was growing up, just to confuse them.
My uncle used to glue walnut shells back together and put them back in the bowl of mixed nuts at Christmas.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:39 AM on April 10, 2013 [7 favorites]
My uncle used to glue walnut shells back together and put them back in the bowl of mixed nuts at Christmas.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:39 AM on April 10, 2013 [7 favorites]
Many years ago there was a product that (hawked my Mr Popeil, or an isotope thereof) that was essentially a needle sized drill on a plastic base that would do this. Man, I wanted that thing when I was 8 and they showed the commercial during Gilligan's Island.
Because, really, by the time that guy is getting out the twine I've already starved to death, or made my scrambled eggs the caveman way.
Ah, here it is.
posted by dirtdirt at 6:41 AM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
Because, really, by the time that guy is getting out the twine I've already starved to death, or made my scrambled eggs the caveman way.
Ah, here it is.
posted by dirtdirt at 6:41 AM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
Someone once told me that the hard boiled egg slices used for garnishes in restaurants are sliced off of a roll- like a long ovular tube with hard boiled egg white on the outside and yolk on the inside, and the slices all look like they came from the middle of a regular hard boiled egg. Does anyone know if this is true?
posted by mareli at 6:41 AM on April 10, 2013
posted by mareli at 6:41 AM on April 10, 2013
Scrambled hard-boiled eggs... just wrong. Scrambled eggs should be soft and moist. I like my scrambled eggs like I like my.... okay, I won't.
posted by Decani at 6:44 AM on April 10, 2013
posted by Decani at 6:44 AM on April 10, 2013
the thing i like most about scrambled eggs for me though is the texture. in this form, when he peels off the shell, it's kind of grossing me out.
posted by fuzzypantalones at 6:45 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by fuzzypantalones at 6:45 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
Because, really, by the time that guy is getting out the twine I've already starved to death, or made my scrambled eggs the caveman way.
I don't think the twine was necessary. Or even the shirt. Just a tea towel would do it, if it were somewhat stretchy.
posted by DU at 6:51 AM on April 10, 2013
I don't think the twine was necessary. Or even the shirt. Just a tea towel would do it, if it were somewhat stretchy.
posted by DU at 6:51 AM on April 10, 2013
Those eggs are homogenized boiled eggs, not scrambled!
posted by unSane at 6:58 AM on April 10, 2013 [12 favorites]
posted by unSane at 6:58 AM on April 10, 2013 [12 favorites]
I think if you tried this with a tea towel and no twine you would probably risk the eggs getting airborne.
posted by unSane at 6:59 AM on April 10, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by unSane at 6:59 AM on April 10, 2013 [5 favorites]
The thing about these is that they don't have the texture or mouth feel of properly scrambled eggs, which is pretty much the point of scrambled eggs, unless you're in the army, in which case scrambled eggs are about shut up and just eat your fucking breakfast, grunt. Properly scrambled eggs are a lofty, spiritual thing just shy of a perfect souffle, and they are, for anyone but a savage, the easiest incredible thing anyone one person can cook. Perfect fresh brown egg from a local chicken who lives well, little butter, bit of salt and some dried tarragon ground between the fingertips, the application of a particular human touch, and a French spring steel crepe pan that's not seen soap in twenty years and all is right with world.
These, on the other hand, are just jaundiced sadness in a calcium enclosure.
posted by sonascope at 7:09 AM on April 10, 2013 [14 favorites]
These, on the other hand, are just jaundiced sadness in a calcium enclosure.
posted by sonascope at 7:09 AM on April 10, 2013 [14 favorites]
Just no.
That is definitely not a scrambled egg. It's a hard boiled egg entirely tainted by the yolk and. Ow I can't just drop the gross chalky bit in the trash if I don't feel like making egg salad.
Yuck.
Now will somebody come make me an egg salad sandwich? I'm too sick (strepA- I won't breathe on you!) to make myself anything more involved than Gatorade, popsicles, crackers, or chick'n nuggets.
posted by bilabial at 7:09 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
That is definitely not a scrambled egg. It's a hard boiled egg entirely tainted by the yolk and. Ow I can't just drop the gross chalky bit in the trash if I don't feel like making egg salad.
Yuck.
Now will somebody come make me an egg salad sandwich? I'm too sick (strepA- I won't breathe on you!) to make myself anything more involved than Gatorade, popsicles, crackers, or chick'n nuggets.
posted by bilabial at 7:09 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
Useful tip for practical joke: Yes.
Useful tip for edible egg: NO. gross
posted by Debaser626 at 7:09 AM on April 10, 2013
Useful tip for edible egg: NO. gross
posted by Debaser626 at 7:09 AM on April 10, 2013
We had an Inside The Eggshell Egg Scrambler; it came with our pasta extruder.
In order to use it you had to get past the idea of forcefully pushing, with your bare hands, a very fragile object down onto an inch-long bent metal spike with enough force to pierce the shell but not shatter it, which would mean you had smacked your hand down on the spike which would then spin a few thousand RPM in order to "scramble" whatever soft goop it was in contact with.
I tried it once; it actually worked just fine. I cracked the egg into the pan and what came out was golden goo. But the whole risk assessment part of using it creeped me out sufficiently that it lived under the counter until garage sale day, then it went bye-bye.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:14 AM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
In order to use it you had to get past the idea of forcefully pushing, with your bare hands, a very fragile object down onto an inch-long bent metal spike with enough force to pierce the shell but not shatter it, which would mean you had smacked your hand down on the spike which would then spin a few thousand RPM in order to "scramble" whatever soft goop it was in contact with.
I tried it once; it actually worked just fine. I cracked the egg into the pan and what came out was golden goo. But the whole risk assessment part of using it creeped me out sufficiently that it lived under the counter until garage sale day, then it went bye-bye.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:14 AM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
The point is not that these eggs are scrambled in a shirt sleeve to make scrambled eggs. It's that these eggs are scrambled in a shirtsleeve to make scrambled hard-boiled eggs.
These would be great for the Easter Sunday egg hunt. Or on a plate of deviled eggs. Or for a quick, high protein, grab and go snack that doesn't break the bank, just the yolk.
posted by notyou at 7:15 AM on April 10, 2013
These would be great for the Easter Sunday egg hunt. Or on a plate of deviled eggs. Or for a quick, high protein, grab and go snack that doesn't break the bank, just the yolk.
posted by notyou at 7:15 AM on April 10, 2013
This might finally solve the problem of What To Do With The Dry, Yucky, Crumbly Middle Of A Hardboiled Egg.
Soysauce.
(Deviled is great too, of course, but just a dab of soysauce is super easy and super tasty.)
posted by kmz at 7:23 AM on April 10, 2013
Soysauce.
(Deviled is great too, of course, but just a dab of soysauce is super easy and super tasty.)
posted by kmz at 7:23 AM on April 10, 2013
I know what I am going to do to some of the eggs going into the next batch of pickled eggs.
I think that the tea I have been using might cover up the yellowishness of the egg.
Some drunk feller is gonna wonder what the hell happened to the yolk in his egg.
posted by Seamus at 7:31 AM on April 10, 2013 [4 favorites]
I think that the tea I have been using might cover up the yellowishness of the egg.
Some drunk feller is gonna wonder what the hell happened to the yolk in his egg.
posted by Seamus at 7:31 AM on April 10, 2013 [4 favorites]
A lot of people in this thread think this is a new way to make scrambled eggs. It's not. It's a new way to make hardboiled eggs.
posted by DU at 7:33 AM on April 10, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by DU at 7:33 AM on April 10, 2013 [4 favorites]
Whoa. This might finally solve the problem of What To Do With The Dry, Yucky, Crumbly Middle Of A Hardboiled Egg.
Crumbly? My God man, you're overcooking them! Don't blame the innocent yolk!
posted by Think_Long at 7:35 AM on April 10, 2013 [18 favorites]
Crumbly? My God man, you're overcooking them! Don't blame the innocent yolk!
posted by Think_Long at 7:35 AM on April 10, 2013 [18 favorites]
Dry, Yucky, Crumbly Middle
tainted by the yolk
gross chalky bit
Buh? You might be over-cooking your eggs. A hard-boiled yolk is a creamy and delicious reward for eating the rubbery-ass white.
Also this looks awesome but probably tastes terrible.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:36 AM on April 10, 2013 [10 favorites]
tainted by the yolk
gross chalky bit
Buh? You might be over-cooking your eggs. A hard-boiled yolk is a creamy and delicious reward for eating the rubbery-ass white.
Also this looks awesome but probably tastes terrible.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:36 AM on April 10, 2013 [10 favorites]
The Dry, Yucky, Crumbly Middle Of A Hardboiled Egg
the gross chalky bit
Man, what the hell are you guys talking about? The yolk is the best part and it is neither dry nor chalky if you have halfway decent eggs and don't over-boil them. I salute this man for bringing us a little bit closer to the glorious dream of an egg that is all yolk.
posted by enn at 7:37 AM on April 10, 2013 [9 favorites]
the gross chalky bit
Man, what the hell are you guys talking about? The yolk is the best part and it is neither dry nor chalky if you have halfway decent eggs and don't over-boil them. I salute this man for bringing us a little bit closer to the glorious dream of an egg that is all yolk.
posted by enn at 7:37 AM on April 10, 2013 [9 favorites]
shut up and just eat your fucking breakfast, grunt.
posted by SharkParty at 7:41 AM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by SharkParty at 7:41 AM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
Years ago, a housemate went to Dubai for business and came home with a king's ransom in saffron to dole out as souvenirs. For about a month I added a little of it to my scrambled eggs. They tasted so good that my mouth is watering just thinking of them.
Next time you have more saffron than you deserve, try it in your scrambled eggs. It's a bit decadent, but we're all hurtling toward death, so it does us good to make room for such things.
Getting saffron inside addled hard-boiled eggs like these would be a tasty trick indeed.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 7:42 AM on April 10, 2013 [4 favorites]
Next time you have more saffron than you deserve, try it in your scrambled eggs. It's a bit decadent, but we're all hurtling toward death, so it does us good to make room for such things.
Getting saffron inside addled hard-boiled eggs like these would be a tasty trick indeed.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 7:42 AM on April 10, 2013 [4 favorites]
MetaFilter: It's a bit decadent, but we're all hurtling toward death.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:46 AM on April 10, 2013 [19 favorites]
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:46 AM on April 10, 2013 [19 favorites]
On a related note, camping scramble bags are great too. You chop some veg or whatever scramble fixings and stir up some eggs, pour it all into a ziplock baggie and freeze. Then go camping. In the morning, drop the whole bag into a pot of boiling water and instant deliciousness with little cleanup. (hell, you don't even need plates)
posted by iamkimiam at 7:47 AM on April 10, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by iamkimiam at 7:47 AM on April 10, 2013 [5 favorites]
I think a few people in this thread need to consult Delia Smith's sage advice for properly boiling eggs.
posted by fight or flight at 7:47 AM on April 10, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by fight or flight at 7:47 AM on April 10, 2013 [4 favorites]
Yes fight or flight, that is exactly what I do, including adding a bit of time for extra fresh eggs.
Perhaps my problem is that I can't afford farm eggs/don't have transportation to get them.
The texture of egg yolks has always been wrong to me. (now that im a grown up I enjoy a well made benedict, it's like roulette when someone else is cooking!) Which makes me sad because calories. Deviled eggs makes up for some of that.
posted by bilabial at 7:58 AM on April 10, 2013
Perhaps my problem is that I can't afford farm eggs/don't have transportation to get them.
The texture of egg yolks has always been wrong to me. (now that im a grown up I enjoy a well made benedict, it's like roulette when someone else is cooking!) Which makes me sad because calories. Deviled eggs makes up for some of that.
posted by bilabial at 7:58 AM on April 10, 2013
I just tried this with one of my shirts, but it didn't work. Looking back at the video, that's a pretty long sleeve on that shirt. Maybe you need that length of arm so that the egg is subjected to more force when it's swung.
I'm tempted to try this again with the egg placed near the wrist end of the sleeve so I can whirl the whole thing like a lasso over my head, but I'll need a designated kitchen-cleaner-upper before I try it.
posted by maudlin at 7:58 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
I'm tempted to try this again with the egg placed near the wrist end of the sleeve so I can whirl the whole thing like a lasso over my head, but I'll need a designated kitchen-cleaner-upper before I try it.
posted by maudlin at 7:58 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
I saw an easier method for hard boiling eggs in some thread here a while ago. IIRC, you put the eggs in the pot with room temp water, bring the whole thing to a boil, then take it off the heat and put a lid on the pot for a few minutes and then drop them in ice water.
I'd have to dig around for the comment again but I tried it, it worked perfectly and really changed my view of hard boiled eggs. I used to hate the yolk but when properly cooked, it doesn't have the grey layer around it and tastes awesome instead of chalky and gross.
posted by VTX at 7:59 AM on April 10, 2013
I'd have to dig around for the comment again but I tried it, it worked perfectly and really changed my view of hard boiled eggs. I used to hate the yolk but when properly cooked, it doesn't have the grey layer around it and tastes awesome instead of chalky and gross.
posted by VTX at 7:59 AM on April 10, 2013
Ooh. Bilabial has reminded me of a tip I learned - you know what's a really good variant on devilled eggs? Adding chopped cooked spinach to the yolk bit. You can tell yourself that they're healthier than usual because look, spinach!
Oooh, and I've just now thought that using hollandaise instead of mayo for the binder in that instance would probably be amaaaaazing.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:01 AM on April 10, 2013
Oooh, and I've just now thought that using hollandaise instead of mayo for the binder in that instance would probably be amaaaaazing.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:01 AM on April 10, 2013
It seems like it would be easier to do at the end of a clean sock rather than a shirt with twine (which seems complicated, honestly).
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:01 AM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:01 AM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
What's needed is some sort of Dremel attachment.
I'm tempted to try this for the novelty, but I basically never hard boil eggs. You can't have dippy soldiers!
posted by lucidium at 8:05 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
I'm tempted to try this for the novelty, but I basically never hard boil eggs. You can't have dippy soldiers!
posted by lucidium at 8:05 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
pack all your eggs tightly into a paint can and stop off at sherwin williams for a shakeup. gotcha covered.
posted by SharkParty at 8:07 AM on April 10, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by SharkParty at 8:07 AM on April 10, 2013 [5 favorites]
It seems like it would be easier to do at the end of a clean sock
I think the contention is that the scrambling comes from the unwinding of the sleeve, not the swinging around, which is all you could do with a sock, and which is why you need the twine (to keep the egg from sliding around and upsetting the balance as it unwinds). You couldn't get that motion with a sock, I don't think.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:07 AM on April 10, 2013
I think the contention is that the scrambling comes from the unwinding of the sleeve, not the swinging around, which is all you could do with a sock, and which is why you need the twine (to keep the egg from sliding around and upsetting the balance as it unwinds). You couldn't get that motion with a sock, I don't think.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:07 AM on April 10, 2013
I take hard boiled eggs in my lunch all the time and this looks like it would be a delightful change.
I prepare an entire carton at a time however I don't actually boil the eggs. Instead I place one egg into each well of a muffin tin then add a table spoon of water to each well. I then bake the eggs at 325 for 30 minutes on the oven timer. when it dings take them out and dunk in cold water. Perfect eggs without any stress of over or under cooking.
posted by Mitheral at 8:19 AM on April 10, 2013 [7 favorites]
I prepare an entire carton at a time however I don't actually boil the eggs. Instead I place one egg into each well of a muffin tin then add a table spoon of water to each well. I then bake the eggs at 325 for 30 minutes on the oven timer. when it dings take them out and dunk in cold water. Perfect eggs without any stress of over or under cooking.
posted by Mitheral at 8:19 AM on April 10, 2013 [7 favorites]
What To Do With The Dry, Yucky, Crumbly Middle Of A Hardboiled Egg
You are overlooking your hard boiled eggs.
posted by bq at 8:21 AM on April 10, 2013
You are overlooking your hard boiled eggs.
posted by bq at 8:21 AM on April 10, 2013
wrap apples in orange peels that I surgically cut off of oranges
More
posted by bq at 8:22 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
More
posted by bq at 8:22 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
The delicious flavour of yolk is finally combined with the glorious texture of white! Egg perfection has been reached!!!
Also, what if you just shook the egg really hard?
posted by windykites at 8:23 AM on April 10, 2013
Also, what if you just shook the egg really hard?
posted by windykites at 8:23 AM on April 10, 2013
congratulations, you've ruined the thread.
posted by SharkParty at 8:24 AM on April 10, 2013
posted by SharkParty at 8:24 AM on April 10, 2013
Metafilter: shut up and just eat your fucking breakfast, grunt.
My first time!
posted by bq at 8:26 AM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
My first time!
posted by bq at 8:26 AM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
Oooh, and I've just now thought that using hollandaise instead of mayo for the binder in that instance would probably be amaaaaazing.
Why you gotta be in New York? Whyyyyyyyyyyy?
posted by bilabial at 8:29 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
Why you gotta be in New York? Whyyyyyyyyyyy?
posted by bilabial at 8:29 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
Between this and the lighting an orange on fire video and the garlic peeling video I am thinking I need to start a testing blog because I kind of don't really believe any of these are real.
posted by bq at 8:33 AM on April 10, 2013
posted by bq at 8:33 AM on April 10, 2013
Don't hard boil eggs, steam them! Way easier to peel. I have a big steam basket but not a little one, so when I make just couple of eggs I put them in a tiny colander, which sits in the boiling water. Put the lid on. Six minutes for soft yolk, 10 minutes for hard but not dry yolk. You will never boil eggs again!
posted by waving at 8:38 AM on April 10, 2013
posted by waving at 8:38 AM on April 10, 2013
a quick, high protein, grab and go snack that doesn't break the bank, just the yolk.
You ought to be in advertising (if you aren't already).
This is a neat trick that I'm never going to try as it seems I'm one of those rare people who likes eggs in any form but "soft, moist" scrambled, which have seemed to me like eating something that's been regurgitated.
posted by Flashman at 8:47 AM on April 10, 2013
You ought to be in advertising (if you aren't already).
This is a neat trick that I'm never going to try as it seems I'm one of those rare people who likes eggs in any form but "soft, moist" scrambled, which have seemed to me like eating something that's been regurgitated.
posted by Flashman at 8:47 AM on April 10, 2013
enn: "The Dry, Yucky, Crumbly Middle Of A Hardboiled Egg
the gross chalky bit
Man, what the hell are you guys talking about? The yolk is the best part and it is neither dry nor chalky if you have halfway decent eggs and don't over-boil them. I salute this man for bringing us a little bit closer to the glorious dream of an egg that is all yolk."
Indeed. The rubbery disgusting white of the egg goes in the bird cage. She loves it. The creamy yolk is true heaven.
posted by Splunge at 8:49 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
the gross chalky bit
Man, what the hell are you guys talking about? The yolk is the best part and it is neither dry nor chalky if you have halfway decent eggs and don't over-boil them. I salute this man for bringing us a little bit closer to the glorious dream of an egg that is all yolk."
Indeed. The rubbery disgusting white of the egg goes in the bird cage. She loves it. The creamy yolk is true heaven.
posted by Splunge at 8:49 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
I wonder what the best temperature to cook this mixed egg would be.
posted by Prince_of_Cups at 8:51 AM on April 10, 2013
Egg white starts to coagulate in the range 62-65 °C. At these temperatures it is the most heat sensitive protein, the ovotransferrin, which constitutes 12% of the egg white, which coagulates. The major protein of egg white, ovalbumin, makes up 54% of the white and doesn’t coagulate until the temperature reaches 80 °C. The yolk begins to thicken around 65 °C and sets around 70 °C. Further heating to around 80-90 °C produces the crumbly texture typical of hard boiled eggs.from khymos
posted by Prince_of_Cups at 8:51 AM on April 10, 2013
I'm a fan of the boil-and-sit method for hard cooking eggs, which is to put them in cold water, bring the pot quickly to a boil, then remove it from the burner, cover the pot, and let it sit twenty minutes before cooling it under a cold tap. No green rings, no chalky yolk, and everything's just about right.
For the peeling part, the secret is old eggs. I grew up with a flock of chickens, and the end result was tragic Easters, since we had brown eggs (the breeds of chickens that lay white eggs are ugly, dirty, mean avian assholes) and you ended up with brownish blue, brownish green, brownish yellow, or otherwise glum looking dyed eggs that you couldn't peel without shredding because fresh eggs don't peel. In the end, we'd set aside a couple dozen eggs and shove them to the back of the fridge a month or two before Easter so they'd be almost as aged and lifeless as the atrocities most Americans mistake for eggs, and that method worked out just fine, except for the earth-tones.
posted by sonascope at 8:53 AM on April 10, 2013 [7 favorites]
For the peeling part, the secret is old eggs. I grew up with a flock of chickens, and the end result was tragic Easters, since we had brown eggs (the breeds of chickens that lay white eggs are ugly, dirty, mean avian assholes) and you ended up with brownish blue, brownish green, brownish yellow, or otherwise glum looking dyed eggs that you couldn't peel without shredding because fresh eggs don't peel. In the end, we'd set aside a couple dozen eggs and shove them to the back of the fridge a month or two before Easter so they'd be almost as aged and lifeless as the atrocities most Americans mistake for eggs, and that method worked out just fine, except for the earth-tones.
posted by sonascope at 8:53 AM on April 10, 2013 [7 favorites]
I was pretty disappointed when his video on how to "Turn Empty Water Bottles Into Alcohol" ended up being on how to "Turn Empty Water Bottles Into Alcohol Fueled Rockets". I was all ready to raid the recycling bin and get drunk when I got home. It was like a homeless alcoholic's wet dream.
posted by nTeleKy at 9:00 AM on April 10, 2013
posted by nTeleKy at 9:00 AM on April 10, 2013
Japanese Egg Roll
Okay that is officially badass. If this product were available in the US I would buy it all the time for my sandwiches and salads.
posted by Doleful Creature at 9:15 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
Okay that is officially badass. If this product were available in the US I would buy it all the time for my sandwiches and salads.
posted by Doleful Creature at 9:15 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
That egg roll just reminded me of a recipe for a "Big Egg" in one of our old cookbooks. It specifies some shocking number of eggs and tells you to separate the yolks, then cook them all in a pig's bladder, followed by cooking that in a larger bladder surrounded by the whites. I bet that would be a tough one to cook properly.
posted by lucidium at 9:48 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by lucidium at 9:48 AM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
Metafilter: introducing me to things I didn't know I hated. (already hard-boiled eggs are at the top of my 'that's not food' list)
posted by OHenryPacey at 10:09 AM on April 10, 2013
posted by OHenryPacey at 10:09 AM on April 10, 2013
I think if you tried this with a tea towel and no twine you would probably risk the eggs getting airborne.
posted by unSane at 7:59 AM on April 10
yes! It did!
And bounced off a window and landed in a plant pot!
Have you ever washed egg off of dirt?
Also, what if you just shook the egg really hard?
posted by windykites at 8:23 AM on April 10
This works great!
looks a little like a shakeweight so maybe do it in private.
I just made the garden path menu item of 'scrambled egg salad sandwich' and it was good!
My eggs weren't nearly as yellow as his, though, and a bit... foamy? Tiny air pockets like rising bread dough.
Two exploded in the pot, which never happens normally [room temp water, boil, and sit for 5 minutes method]
posted by Acari at 10:39 AM on April 10, 2013
posted by unSane at 7:59 AM on April 10
yes! It did!
And bounced off a window and landed in a plant pot!
Have you ever washed egg off of dirt?
Also, what if you just shook the egg really hard?
posted by windykites at 8:23 AM on April 10
This works great!
looks a little like a shakeweight so maybe do it in private.
I just made the garden path menu item of 'scrambled egg salad sandwich' and it was good!
My eggs weren't nearly as yellow as his, though, and a bit... foamy? Tiny air pockets like rising bread dough.
Two exploded in the pot, which never happens normally [room temp water, boil, and sit for 5 minutes method]
posted by Acari at 10:39 AM on April 10, 2013
Gah, eggs give me the shuddery heaves and this...process doesn't really help with that.
posted by threeants at 11:46 AM on April 10, 2013
posted by threeants at 11:46 AM on April 10, 2013
If I cooked my eggs this way, would it make it easier to eat 50 of them?
posted by GuyZero at 12:25 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by GuyZero at 12:25 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
These are Their Own Thing - good scrambled eggs have a creamy texture that comes from low and slow heat, some cooking fat (olive oil or butter), and water or milk to make them fluffy.
Au contraire! I believed the same as you do, until I watched this video by Jacques Pepin on how to make an omelette. It violated everything I believed about making perfect scrambled eggs with low heat and added dairy, but I figured the most I had to lose was a couple of eggs so I gave it a shot. Much to my surprise, it worked! I get perfectly soft, moist, fluffy scrambled eggs every time in 90 seconds or less.
posted by TungstenChef at 2:51 PM on April 10, 2013 [3 favorites]
Au contraire! I believed the same as you do, until I watched this video by Jacques Pepin on how to make an omelette. It violated everything I believed about making perfect scrambled eggs with low heat and added dairy, but I figured the most I had to lose was a couple of eggs so I gave it a shot. Much to my surprise, it worked! I get perfectly soft, moist, fluffy scrambled eggs every time in 90 seconds or less.
posted by TungstenChef at 2:51 PM on April 10, 2013 [3 favorites]
Sad.
Came home all excited showed the video to wife and kids. Dropped a egg in a long sock. Spun it. But i don't think I spun long enough. It just made the whites frothy and hard to peel. Will try again. Crosses my fingers
posted by ShawnString at 3:55 PM on April 10, 2013
Came home all excited showed the video to wife and kids. Dropped a egg in a long sock. Spun it. But i don't think I spun long enough. It just made the whites frothy and hard to peel. Will try again. Crosses my fingers
posted by ShawnString at 3:55 PM on April 10, 2013
Done before, I'm afraid. You have to use a Do-Nah curve to port iron filings into the egg, then you place it on a combo-stirring plate/hot plate, waiting for it to cook through. Whether or not the Do-Nah curve can be used to remove the filings is still up for debate.
posted by Slackermagee at 4:04 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Slackermagee at 4:04 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
As an egg fan just below the threshold of spending my days in my panties and bra in a playpen in a trailer in Phoenix, Maryland, dreaming of a wheelbarrow wedding day, I will consider myself remiss if I don't counter the horror of the prescrambled hard cooked egg with something altogether more sublime.
This is what I make for myself and my loved ones when I'm feeling the mojo:
Daisy Eggs, courtesy of your ol' pal, sonascope.
posted by sonascope at 4:19 PM on April 10, 2013 [3 favorites]
This is what I make for myself and my loved ones when I'm feeling the mojo:
Daisy Eggs, courtesy of your ol' pal, sonascope.
posted by sonascope at 4:19 PM on April 10, 2013 [3 favorites]
Sonascope you did it again, my friend. Those look AMAZING!
My 7 year old poached egg loving son wants one NOW!
posted by ShawnString at 4:25 PM on April 10, 2013
My 7 year old poached egg loving son wants one NOW!
posted by ShawnString at 4:25 PM on April 10, 2013
http://www.metafilter.com/126878/Perfect-for-that-breakfast-on-the-go-and-creeping-out-your-friends#4914907
My grandfather had one of those. It worked a treat.
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 6:38 PM on April 10, 2013
My grandfather had one of those. It worked a treat.
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 6:38 PM on April 10, 2013
spending my days in my panties and bra in a playpen in a trailer in Phoenix, Maryland, dreaming of a wheelbarrow wedding day
So many little eggies, and i'm still starving. And i'm going to eat them all before I go to sleepy!
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 7:10 PM on April 10, 2013
So many little eggies, and i'm still starving. And i'm going to eat them all before I go to sleepy!
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 7:10 PM on April 10, 2013
Au contraire! I believed the same as you do, until I watched this video by Jacques Pepin...
OK, first of off, a steel fork on a non-stick surface? Really?
Second off, the "country omlette" technique is close to the one I use for scrambled, only I add a splash of milk, a few grinds of pepper and a sprinkling of salt (yes, salt, it won't have time to toughen any damn thing, but it will have time to season that business). Sometimes a bit of tarragon. Agreed about the egg prep, tho... I actually use an egg whisk, as my wrist isn't as supple as a pro chef's.
Once in the pan, don't stir, fold, slow and steady, and don't stop. Fold, fold, fold, fold... with a silicone spatula, not a freakin' steel fork, I paid money for this pan... and when it's still very runny, I add a handfull of pre-shredded cheddar or shred-yer-own gouda or gruyere, depending on what I had around and how lazy I felt. When it's a bit runny, I dump it onto the serving plate and let it set.
Pepin's "country omlette" looks dry and pasty. I don't need to "try it", I already tried that way when I was fucking up learning how to make this stuff.
Browning is =usually= good, but not on scrambled eggs unless you can match your timing with the cooktop's temp a hell of a lot better than I can. For mere mortals, browning means it's overcooked. A bit of browning atop a nice, thick frittata, laden with leftover easter ham and asparagus, is another story.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:24 PM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
OK, first of off, a steel fork on a non-stick surface? Really?
Second off, the "country omlette" technique is close to the one I use for scrambled, only I add a splash of milk, a few grinds of pepper and a sprinkling of salt (yes, salt, it won't have time to toughen any damn thing, but it will have time to season that business). Sometimes a bit of tarragon. Agreed about the egg prep, tho... I actually use an egg whisk, as my wrist isn't as supple as a pro chef's.
Once in the pan, don't stir, fold, slow and steady, and don't stop. Fold, fold, fold, fold... with a silicone spatula, not a freakin' steel fork, I paid money for this pan... and when it's still very runny, I add a handfull of pre-shredded cheddar or shred-yer-own gouda or gruyere, depending on what I had around and how lazy I felt. When it's a bit runny, I dump it onto the serving plate and let it set.
Pepin's "country omlette" looks dry and pasty. I don't need to "try it", I already tried that way when I was fucking up learning how to make this stuff.
Browning is =usually= good, but not on scrambled eggs unless you can match your timing with the cooktop's temp a hell of a lot better than I can. For mere mortals, browning means it's overcooked. A bit of browning atop a nice, thick frittata, laden with leftover easter ham and asparagus, is another story.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:24 PM on April 10, 2013 [2 favorites]
Whoa. This might finally solve the problem of What To Do With The Dry, Yucky, Crumbly Middle Of A Hardboiled Egg.
All yummy yellow yolks will be cheerfully accepted by me. I will gladly exchange them for the nasty slimy (uncooked) flavorless (cooked) whites. Even salt and pepper can hardly bring about a tasty resolution to the whites.
I speak to my chickens daily, and admonish them frequently--their eggs are lovely, large, and brown, but to date not a single double yolker.
Sonascope, daisy eggs look tasty, but sweet meringue, the word SCRAPPLE was mentioned. I do so want to eat scrapple again and hark back to my neighbors Pennsylvania Dutch roots. Oh, to find a source of the yummy goodness that deserves a tasty toast bed and an over-easy egg for decoration.
posted by BlueHorse at 8:05 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
All yummy yellow yolks will be cheerfully accepted by me. I will gladly exchange them for the nasty slimy (uncooked) flavorless (cooked) whites. Even salt and pepper can hardly bring about a tasty resolution to the whites.
I speak to my chickens daily, and admonish them frequently--their eggs are lovely, large, and brown, but to date not a single double yolker.
Sonascope, daisy eggs look tasty, but sweet meringue, the word SCRAPPLE was mentioned. I do so want to eat scrapple again and hark back to my neighbors Pennsylvania Dutch roots. Oh, to find a source of the yummy goodness that deserves a tasty toast bed and an over-easy egg for decoration.
posted by BlueHorse at 8:05 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
Word to the wise... scrapple and head cheese are not synonymous. The gelatin melts and the bits all float away from each other with head cheese on the grill.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:10 PM on April 10, 2013
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:10 PM on April 10, 2013
Green onions, the hottest pepper you can find, a little sweet red pepper, a few sliced mushrooms, maybe a few cherry tomatoes. Fry it up until it's slightly soft, in good olive oil, then add baby spinach until it wilts. A very little salt. Then turn the heat down, crack in 3 eggs and a splash of milk, and stir continuously over a VERY low heat. Take it off the flame just before you think it's ready.
Breakfast of champions.
(You can also fry up the veggies, then put them on a plate, and use the pan to fry three eggs and deposit them on top. ALSO breakfast of champions).
posted by unSane at 8:13 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
Breakfast of champions.
(You can also fry up the veggies, then put them on a plate, and use the pan to fry three eggs and deposit them on top. ALSO breakfast of champions).
posted by unSane at 8:13 PM on April 10, 2013 [1 favorite]
I prefer my eggs in Virgin Schoolboy Urine - tong zi dan.
posted by unliteral at 8:41 PM on April 10, 2013
posted by unliteral at 8:41 PM on April 10, 2013
EmpressCallipygos: "Wait. It's talking about how to scramble hard boiled eggs? Isn't that sort of....culinarily impossible?"
I felt cheated as well. I wanted to know how you scramble eggs within the shell AFTER they've been hard boiled.
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 11:20 PM on April 10, 2013
I felt cheated as well. I wanted to know how you scramble eggs within the shell AFTER they've been hard boiled.
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 11:20 PM on April 10, 2013
I'm pretty sure the hard snap in the middle of the spinning is the part that breaks the yolk. Otherwise, it won't work.
No mention of espresso steamed scrambled eggs? Delightfully fluffy and not much work (as long as you clean the steamer nozzle right away before it hardens on there like it's trying to teach cement a thing or two).
posted by BrotherCaine at 12:27 AM on April 11, 2013
No mention of espresso steamed scrambled eggs? Delightfully fluffy and not much work (as long as you clean the steamer nozzle right away before it hardens on there like it's trying to teach cement a thing or two).
posted by BrotherCaine at 12:27 AM on April 11, 2013
That egg roll just reminded me of a recipe for a "Big Egg" in one of our old cookbooks. It specifies some shocking number of eggs and tells you to separate the yolks, then cook them all in a pig's bladder, followed by cooking that in a larger bladder surrounded by the whites. I bet that would be a tough one to cook properly.
Tell me about it. It took all day to get the yolk in there, and then the pig wouldn't hold still over the heat. I finally gave up and made some meringue cookies.
posted by BrotherCaine at 12:30 AM on April 11, 2013 [3 favorites]
Tell me about it. It took all day to get the yolk in there, and then the pig wouldn't hold still over the heat. I finally gave up and made some meringue cookies.
posted by BrotherCaine at 12:30 AM on April 11, 2013 [3 favorites]
So I gave this techique a try on a dozen eggs I was boiling for lunch anyways and not a single one had more than an offset intact yolk. Anyone get this to work?
posted by Mitheral at 8:21 PM on April 18, 2013
posted by Mitheral at 8:21 PM on April 18, 2013
« Older This webpage will be held to regulate the service | "Your dad's a nutter! A skinhead priest!" Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by ShawnString at 5:50 AM on April 10, 2013 [5 favorites]