Just think, it's normally worth a red card.
November 28, 2001 2:36 PM   Subscribe

Just think, it's normally worth a red card. (from espn) MADRID -- Sevilla's Francisco Gallardo is totally surprised that the Spanish Football Federation has opened an investigation into his bizarre goal celebration during his team's 4-0 victory over Valladolid last weekend. Gallardo was caught on camera bending down and biting teammate Jose Antonio Reyes' genitals in celebration of the striker's goal early in the second half of the match. "I don't think what I did was very noteworthy," Gallardo was quoted as saying by Spanish media Wednesday. "I just felt a slight pinch. I didn't realize what had really happened until I saw the footage on television," Reyes was quoted as saying by the French Press Agency. "Gallardo hasn't heard the end of this. The worst thing now is the stick I'm getting from the other players," he added.
posted by crabwalk (26 comments total)
Somebody lost a bet.
posted by hellinskira at 2:46 PM on November 28, 2001

Just imagine if it had been LeSaux!

optional jokes:

"Wait till you see what he does for a hat trick!"
posted by Kafkaesque at 2:47 PM on November 28, 2001

i know that soccer people celebrate a lot when they score a goal; i know a lot pull their shirts off and wave it around. that i can understand: the shirt is a rally flag.

in how many men does the thought occur: "we scored a goal! i would like to bite your balls, goal-scorer!"

in how many women does the thought occur: "we scored a goal! i would very much like to grope your supple breasts right now!"

the discussion of sexuality aside, that's still weird.
posted by moz at 2:54 PM on November 28, 2001

posted by Mid at 2:56 PM on November 28, 2001

This is a non-issue. I mean, after scoring who hasn't had a nibble of their team members' members?

posted by Neale at 3:00 PM on November 28, 2001

Does this mean we're going to see the woman's team winners doing a celebratory 'drop 'n lick'?
posted by HTuttle at 3:02 PM on November 28, 2001

If they do, I think you'll see the demand for televised women's soccer skyrocket in the US, despite our historic antipathy for the sport.
posted by UncleFes at 3:11 PM on November 28, 2001

As Sevilla striker Pietro Paulo says, "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't."
posted by MAYORBOB at 3:23 PM on November 28, 2001

Sometimes you have a nut.
posted by mmarcos at 3:46 PM on November 28, 2001

Well Brian.

I hit the ball first time and there were my nuts in his teeth.

I'm opening a boutique!
posted by Kafkaesque at 3:51 PM on November 28, 2001

One picture coming up, courtesy of Football365.
posted by salmacis at 3:53 PM on November 28, 2001

"Getting A Bit Cocky" I love it. We need more people in the world with that sense of humor.
posted by esch at 4:37 PM on November 28, 2001

I wonder if this is like the famous picture of Elian Gonzalez, where it looked like the gun was pointing at him, only when you saw the whole series of shots you could see the gun was never trained upon him at any time, that the soldier was turning and the gun with him. I'd be interested in seeing video or the whole roll of film.
posted by Mo Nickels at 5:12 PM on November 28, 2001

I've always said soccer was gay. Now I have proof.
posted by Tacodog at 5:57 PM on November 28, 2001

Mo Nickels
I live in Spain and saw this on television and it's just what it looks like, he's biting the guys dick or balls, (frank or beans..), no trickery involved. The player involved has been brought before a disciplinary committee but only because a national sports daily called it intolerable. The referee (Antoni Llonch Andreu) has left football for good, but because of this interference and not because of the oral sex during the game he was refereeing! The night before a coach assistant had given something close to a full hand job to some guy who had got a ball in the nuts.
posted by Zootoon at 6:14 PM on November 28, 2001

Heh, first thing I thought of was this incident. (link, video(Real Player)).

Women's sports are looking better and better all the time.
posted by mutagen at 7:12 PM on November 28, 2001

Speaking of women and sports. Why aren't pro sports co-ed? Why aren't there women on the professional sports teams? I don't mean to sound naive, but I don't really believe that men are that much more skilled than women in this capacity. Have I just grown up ignorant (I don't really watch sports). The amount of players involved, in pro teams, farm teams, etc. seems pretty high. Do men and women just prefer to play in seperate leagues?
posted by ODiV at 9:08 PM on November 28, 2001

Most men are bigger and stronger and faster than most women. Mix most leagues (football, baseball, hockey, basketball, etc.) and you would likely still end up with at least 90 to 95 percent men. Keeping separate leagues allows spectators to see women playing against women.

You could force quotas upon the teams -- make them become equal opportunity employers -- but I don't think anyone wants that.

Still, there must be games in which there isn't such a difference. Skiing? Diving? Golf?
posted by pracowity at 11:36 PM on November 28, 2001

There's no way women could play on the same soccer team as men. The best women's team in the workl, the USA national team, has been beaten by an U-16 high school team I think.

Why a sport/game like chess for instance has a seperate women's ranking and competitions, I don't know.

Women do compete with men in equestrianism, horse racing and motor racing
posted by salmacis at 2:33 AM on November 29, 2001

Women do get included with men in overall chess rankings. (There are women-only tournaments and rankings, but the rankings are done on the same scale and against the same competition for men and women. The Polgar sisters have has substantial success, with Judit being ranked a grandmaster.)

Are you sure the USA women's soccer team has lost to a U-16 boy's team? I don't know who'd win the match (I'd suspect the women, but I dunno), but I can't imagine the women's team ever scheduling such a match. It just seems like they've have nothing to gain from beating a bunch of 15-year-olds, and a lot to lose.
posted by crabwalk at 9:21 AM on November 29, 2001

yeah, salmacis, that sort of sounds like a sports radio "fact" to me, although I would be glad to see any articles that might talk about such a match.

That being said, in most sports it helps to be tall, and I would think that this would be true in soccer as well.

Someone recently wrote a book (fiction) with a woman playing in the NBA based on the premise that the skills necessary to play point guard in the NBA are more important than just being a big. Uh, i think it was Full Court Press.
posted by eckeric at 1:10 PM on November 29, 2001

Eckeric: I assume you don't know too much about soccer if you think women could play on the same team as men. Soccer is a game of physical power and speed where men have a huge advantage.

The game I was referring to was in the build-up to the last women's world cup, played behind closed doors as a training exercise. (If you're the best team in the world, who do you practice against?) It would be tricky top get the details, but I'll see what I can do if you're seriously interested.

By the way, korfball is played with mixed sex teams.
posted by salmacis at 1:46 AM on November 30, 2001

Professional Ice Hockey has had a woman. That's pretty impressive.
posted by dness2 at 2:31 AM on November 30, 2001

She's done well. But to be fair, goaltending is the only position a woman could realistically play professional ice hockey in a men's team. Soccer goalkeepers tend to be bigger and more athletic than their ice hockey counterparts since they have a bigger area to cover.
posted by salmacis at 5:18 AM on November 30, 2001

I see no reason for coeducational sports. Why should women lower our standards to play with men? ;}

"John Wooden (former legendary UCLA men's coach) gave our game the best compliment ever," [Arkansas women's baskeball coach Gary] Blair said. "He said, 'The best basketball being played now is by the higher echelon women's programs.' It's the closest to the game he played and coached."
posted by Carol Anne at 7:18 AM on November 30, 2001

Glad to see this thread is still going, even if it's veered somewhat off topic!

He's probably right that the women of today are playing a similar style of basketball to the men of 20 or 30 years ago. Tennis is another sport in which the women play what I would consider a "purer" form of the sport. The combination of more athletic players (*cough*creatine*cough*) and racket technology has killed men's tennis as a spectator sport, in my opinion.
posted by salmacis at 8:24 AM on November 30, 2001

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