Single White Feline

April 28, 2013 9:03 AM

If you're a cat owner and also unhappily, and seemingly incurably, single, you need to watch this cautionary tale from the BBC. I'm going to go have a little talk with my own little white feline now.
posted by orange swan (36 comments total)

Very funny. That's why I met the guy FIRST and then adopted cats.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:09 AM on April 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

I've been with my husband for eight years and my cat is still trying to get rid of him.
posted by desjardins at 9:41 AM on April 28, 2013 [18 favorites]

I've always assumed my cats would want more people around to pay attention to them.
posted by wotsac at 9:46 AM on April 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

This is why I adopted a black cat. I planned for the evil.
posted by DoubleLune at 9:52 AM on April 28, 2013 [10 favorites]

Little known fact: if you get two black cats, the bad luck cancels each other out. Or multiplies exponentially. Depends on the day of the week.
posted by desjardins at 9:58 AM on April 28, 2013 [10 favorites]

I've always assumed my cats would want more people around to pay attention to them.

I think the problem is that you end up with the sort of life your cat wants you to have. This is why the selection of cats is so vital. You don't want to be living with a Dowager Empress when you are an alley cat at heart.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:03 AM on April 28, 2013 [2 favorites]

Does this look like the face of a creature determined to wreck all my chances of happiness?
posted by orange swan at 10:04 AM on April 28, 2013 [5 favorites]

Yes, yes it does. Staring off into middle distance is a key sign of plotting.

Of course, so it sleeping and rolling around on the floor, belly up. (especially the latter)
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:05 AM on April 28, 2013 [10 favorites]

This is why I adopted a black cat. I planned for the evil.

I just showed this to our beast and have just finished putting a plaster on my thumb.
posted by arcticseal at 10:31 AM on April 28, 2013 [3 favorites]

That's a curious opposing view to this searingly accurate portrayal of the life of a single, middle-aged cat lady.

I keep seeing the trailer all the time on TV, but I can't seem to track down the full documentary. Anyone know where it is?

Because I think it's important to let girls know how exciting life can be, if they really make all the right choices. It's a message that needs to get out there.
posted by tel3path at 10:34 AM on April 28, 2013 [18 favorites]

My mother tells a story about her and my dad, when they were dating seriously. He had a key to her apartment and came over to pick her up after work to go out. When my mother arrived home, my dad was sitting on one end of the sofa with a clawmark on his face and the (Siamese) cat was sitting on the other end of the room with its ears back.

Obviously my parents did get together. The cat went to live with my grandmother.

Sometimes the cat really is out to get the interloper!
posted by immlass at 10:58 AM on April 28, 2013 [6 favorites]

Little known fact: if you get two black cats, the bad luck cancels each other out.

u gest ceep telin yerslf dat

signd,

not da katz
posted by 4ster at 11:04 AM on April 28, 2013 [8 favorites]

That is one beautiful cat orangeswan. My two are of course the most beautiful cats ever, but yours is indeed very pretty.
posted by sweetkid at 11:05 AM on April 28, 2013 [5 favorites]

This is why I have a QWERTY keyboard at home. I only speak French with my cats, so they can't find the accents they need on a non-AZERTY. Ha!
posted by fraula at 11:16 AM on April 28, 2013 [13 favorites]

I loved the cats I did have but they and my children did plot successfully against a second marriage for me during the time we all were under one roof. One cat did teach the kids to stop fighting.
Didn't meet Mr. Roquette until I moved to senior housing.
He's much better than having a cat.!
Nothing against cats. I just can't deal with the allergies now.
Pretty much too old to get a camel or two, and we aren't allowed to keep chickens here or we would get some.
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 11:20 AM on April 28, 2013 [4 favorites]

This is why I adopted a black cat. I planned for the evil.

You know, ever since I took in my girlfriend's black cat Edgar so that my cat would have a buddy until we move in together, I've nearly forgotten that there's that stereotype with black cats, partly because he's never not in the mood to cuddle but mostly because he's just the dumbest animal I've ever known. I love him, but man, he is barely capable of even just the standard cat things like jumping reliably from one place to another place that is actually a place, much less any concerted evil. Moreover, I'm pretty sure his short-term memory is wiped every few seconds, so plotting in any sense is out the window. He can't even plot to eat a meal, really, because it seems like he gets distracted and then wanders away from his bowl, and then he'll wander back by it and go "oh! food!" and then the whole cycle repeats again.

To be fair, crossing his path can be bad luck because he doesn't know how to get out of the way and then you trip on him.
posted by invitapriore at 12:22 PM on April 28, 2013 [13 favorites]

Yeah well - my last gf (who is still my roomie, along with said cat), introduced me to her cat shortly after we first met and Cleo (the cat) glommed onto me instantly. She's damn near inseparable from me.

I'm a cat guy. Maybe all these other assholes are just fucking dog guys, ever think of that? huh? huh?
posted by symbioid at 1:08 PM on April 28, 2013 [2 favorites]

only speak French with my cats

Must now link best cat video EVAR.
posted by eriko at 1:13 PM on April 28, 2013 [36 favorites]

My husband's cat hated my guts, despite my best efforts and previous good experience befriending cats. But I outlived her. Fuck you, cat. You lose. He's mine now.
posted by emjaybee at 1:17 PM on April 28, 2013 [3 favorites]

I strongly encourage you to watch eriko's video. It will enrich your life.
posted by arcticseal at 1:26 PM on April 28, 2013 [4 favorites]

The scene from tel3path's link plays out every night here at Swan's End between me and Trilby. Yes, indeed.
posted by orange swan at 2:03 PM on April 28, 2013

I'm confused. She expected relationships to start while they were sober?
posted by srboisvert at 2:12 PM on April 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Must now link best cat video EVAR .

That is quite the claim.
*clicks*
TOTALLY JUSTIFIED
posted by knapah at 2:37 PM on April 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

That's a common cat Internet security myth. To type in accented characters, one cat holds down the alt key while the other cat inputs the ASCII codes.

I'd double check your PayPal account for a start, fraula.
posted by tel3path at 4:03 PM on April 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

One of my previous partner's dislike of my cat and irritation when I paid it any attention seems like a bit of a red flag, now I look back. Hindsight is a bitca.
posted by Coaticass at 4:31 PM on April 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Must now link best cat video EVAR .

POOM!

It had to be said.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:32 PM on April 28, 2013 [3 favorites]

Thanks! This came at the perfect time. Just spent a few days thinking a new online/IRL interest was interested too (still can't reconcile his behavior to his profile, but not trying anymore...).
posted by owhydididoit at 5:11 PM on April 28, 2013

eriko: " only speak French with my cats

Must now link best cat video EVAR."


Oh, mon cherie, I must disagree, for Henri is the true winner of the cat video war.
posted by dejah420 at 5:49 PM on April 28, 2013 [6 favorites]

Poom came to MetaFilter about a month ago.
posted by achrise at 5:54 PM on April 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

My cat is actually great for dating. Of course, he is a people cat and loves getting pets, so as long as someone is going to be all "oh you're such a cute kitty" and pet him and such he's cool with it. And meeting / playing with the cat is a great date activity in my experience :) That said, he does have veto power, but he exercises it rarely (unlike what some people say about their pets though, he's not really a good judge of character --- he only cares about how they react to him, which is pretty normal for a cat).
posted by wildcrdj at 8:22 PM on April 28, 2013

When my cat looked me right in the eye while pissing on my (now ex-) husband's side of the bed, I knew I'd made a HUGE mistake.
posted by caryatid at 9:36 PM on April 28, 2013 [1 favorite]

Do I really need to add that he was 100% correct?
posted by caryatid at 9:42 PM on April 28, 2013

My black cat (a former stray) always wants to cuddle. As soon as I sit down, both cats compete for my lap.
posted by mike3k at 9:48 PM on April 28, 2013

You cat people are so weird. But we love you all the same.
posted by Vindaloo at 5:36 AM on April 29, 2013 [1 favorite]

I swear to god I read some scientific (or "scientific") article online about black cats being more friendly and I cannot find it since. Something to do with melanin production, which sounds creepy racist if applied to people, hence "scientific" in quotes. Even if it's total bullshit, my anecdotal experience is that black cats are more cuddly, and I'd always choose a black one over any other color (am I cat racist?).

Speaking of black cats: Why My Cat Is Sad
posted by desjardins at 8:31 AM on April 29, 2013

That said, he does have veto power, but he exercises it rarely (unlike what some people say about their pets though, he's not really a good judge of character --- he only cares about how they react to him, which is pretty normal for a cat).

I don't want to claim that this has any rational basis or anything, but my personal feeling on the matter is that with a cat with this type of disposition you'll get a lot of false positives but almost no false negatives. My cats are universally super-curious and -affectionate with new people who come to my house, so I could probably bring in any old crapface off the street and they would rub all up on that person and say "love me!", but if they reacted to someone with fear and/or anger then I have to admit that I would be legitimately suspicious. I hope that doesn't mean that I have to turn in my science club membership card.
posted by invitapriore at 9:20 AM on April 29, 2013