"Peaches the Cat is Kind of a Dick"

May 14, 2013 7:20 AM

Peaches the cat and Lucky the one eared dog battle in slow motion. [slyt | via]
posted by quin (43 comments total)

Lucky may be lacking an ear, but Peaches lacks grace.
posted by orme at 7:26 AM on May 14, 2013

It warms my heart to see a one-eared pit bull with that kind of gentleness.
posted by agentofselection at 7:29 AM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

Lucky is awesome. Peaches moves like a pregnant yak.
posted by Mooski at 7:46 AM on May 14, 2013 [7 favorites]

She started it.
posted by orange swan at 8:10 AM on May 14, 2013

Lucky is the cat for having such a good playmate.
posted by QueerAngel28 at 8:12 AM on May 14, 2013

If a house cat with a bad disposition and a pit bull with a score to settle really got into it, for real. Who would win? Is it obvious?

There's a reason "cat fighting" is a punch line and "dog fighting" is a crime.
posted by R. Schlock at 8:23 AM on May 14, 2013

If a house cat with a bad disposition and a pit bull with a score to settle really got into it, for real. Who would win? Is it obvious?

The bookies.
posted by radwolf76 at 8:23 AM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

In my experience, pitbulls don't have scores to settle. Their entire lives seem to be made of good natured resets; "Oh look! A kitty! I wonder if she'll love me! Cat doesn't like me! Cat smacked my nose! Cat is an asshole. I'm going to lay down! Oh look! A kitty! I wonder if she'll love me!"
posted by quin at 8:26 AM on May 14, 2013 [4 favorites]

Who would win? Is it obvious?

It is obvious to me. I had a roommate with 2 cats. One of them was crazy and stupid and entertaining, and often got wedged in between the screen door and the sliding glass door upside down. The other was a big fat jerk.

Jerky Cat used to sneak out of the house all the time and roam the neighbourhood. He would walk in and out of peoples' houses like he owned the place. The neighbours next door had a pit bull mix that was pretty good natured in my experience, but one day Jerky Cat decided he was going to waltz in to the neighbours' house through the kitchen window anyway. Jerky Cat most certainly did not own that place, and it did not end well. For the next few months, we had a scene straight out of Pet Semetary in our living room. Jerky Cat would sit in a druggy haze with a cone on its head, but from the side you could see right inside of him--a huge great exposed wound with tubes woven through it. Smelled awful. Ugh.

Anyways, dogs win.
posted by Hoopo at 8:47 AM on May 14, 2013

It's like Wilford Brimley vs. The Kraken!
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 9:05 AM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

Those are some ugly animals.
posted by zscore at 9:16 AM on May 14, 2013

Cats who mean business don't lay on their backs casually exposing their vulnerable bellies like that, and certainly don't bat at their opponent with their claws retracted. This is pure horseplay, on both sides, and neither animal would be doing this if they didn't want to.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:16 AM on May 14, 2013 [19 favorites]

Here are some cats that mean business. Freakiest cat I've ever seen.
posted by Pendragon at 9:31 AM on May 14, 2013

I always feel bad for that breed of smush-faced cat. They always have problems breathing and cleaning their noses/eyes. I consider it malicious to breed animals with such traits (although no shame on the owner for adopting/caring for such a cat).
posted by cman at 9:35 AM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

I would use that cat as a pillow every day and night
posted by angrycat at 9:48 AM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

Cat & Bird:

Neighbors had a yellow-headed Amazon, which is a short parrot-like critter, maybe ten inches tall, named Punk. Punk lived in a large birdcage, with a sliding door, which he could open when he decided to cruise about the house. Sometimes he would fly around, visiting the various places he found interesting, sometimes he strolled along the floor, checking under couches and dressers for such things his eye deemed amusing. He loved to shake key rings, and throw them around the room.

Now, their cat, a large old yellow tom, (coincidentally named) Lucky, would of course notice Punk strolling across the floor. Sometimes his cat-brain overwhelmed experience, and he would leap on Punk, maybe with lunch in mind, or maybe just for entertainment. The result was always the same, though, and Lucky got another notch taken out of his already shredded ears, and he was reminded once again why he wasn't supposed to fuck with the parrot.
posted by mule98J at 9:56 AM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

That was lovely. I think we can all learn a lot from Peaches and Lucky.
posted by KokuRyu at 10:10 AM on May 14, 2013

eek - your neighbours aren't too fond of their bird, I guess? cat saliva can give birds deadly infections, so a tiny scratch can kill a bird.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 10:12 AM on May 14, 2013

If a house cat with a bad disposition and a pit bull with a score to settle really got into it, for real. Who would win? Is it obvious?

If a poorly cloned George Foreman with rage issues and a an anti-authoritarian 13 year old goth really got into it who would win? Is it obvious? Do I understand this game?
posted by cmoj at 10:14 AM on May 14, 2013 [3 favorites]

You'd think after losing the one ear Lucky would know better than to mix it up with Peaches.
posted by Zed at 10:16 AM on May 14, 2013

Mustela erminea, Горностай домашний
posted by homunculus at 10:57 AM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

Cats who mean business don't lay on their backs casually exposing their vulnerable bellies like that

You have not met our asshole of a cat. He pulls shit like that all the time - rolling over, rubbing up against people's legs, purring happily - just waiting for something to put an exposed hand or arm in front of him. Once you do, though, out pop all the pointy bits with the murderous rage of a sociopathic killer.

We've wised up to him, but we constantly have to warn visitors because AWW LOOK HOW CUTE HE IS AND HE LOVES ME SO MUCH. Do not pet the cat. This is the Hannibal Lecter of cats. Pet this cat only if you want to feed his insatiable need for blood. Your blood.
posted by backseatpilot at 11:21 AM on May 14, 2013 [6 favorites]

Cats who mean business don't lay on their backs casually exposing their vulnerable bellies like that

That is dog thinking. Dogs on their backs are all about the "vulnerable bellies." Cats on their backs have stopped using their legs for standing because five out of six ends are pointed.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:25 AM on May 14, 2013 [14 favorites]

cmoj: Do I understand this game?

Ooh, ooh, my turn! If a manic-depressive with a switchblade and a bulldozer with dodgy hydraulics really got into it ... ?
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:34 AM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

put em up, PUT EM UP....
posted by stormpooper at 11:37 AM on May 14, 2013

The video....eh.

These comments...hilarious.
posted by BlueHorse at 11:42 AM on May 14, 2013 [1 favorite]

Alternate soundtrack choice.

Doubled for your convenience though you'll have to adjust the volume on your own
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:55 AM on May 14, 2013

This fight puts the 'max' in anticlimax! That's not to say I didn't like it...
posted by Mister_A at 12:25 PM on May 14, 2013

Notice how the pitbull, a dog know for its vicious nature, immediately locks its jaws on the cat and tears it to pieces. Further evidence that this breed should be outlawed and everyone should only be allowed to have dogs that fit in your purse.
posted by asfuller at 1:47 PM on May 14, 2013

This was awesome. They are so careful not to hurt each other (and you know the Persian could have taken the AmStaff down any time he wanted).
posted by biscotti at 2:00 PM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

homunculus: "Mustela erminea, Горностай домашний "

Wow, cat vs stoat. It's like a ferret on speed.
posted by the_artificer at 2:46 PM on May 14, 2013

That is dog thinking. Dogs on their backs are all about the "vulnerable bellies." Cats on their backs have stopped using their legs for standing because five out of six ends are pointed.

Except his claws aren't extended & he either has terrible aim or he's not really trying. Same goes for the dog - he makes this big showy lunge with his mouth at the end but it's clearly all an act & he has no interest in connecting. They're just goofing around, both of them.
posted by scalefree at 3:44 PM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

You have not met our asshole of a cat. He pulls shit like that all the time - rolling over, rubbing up against people's legs, purring happily - just waiting for something to put an exposed hand or arm in front of him. Once you do, though, out pop all the pointy bits with the murderous rage of a sociopathic killer.

if you play with a kitten roughly, he'll grow up acting like this.
posted by stavrogin at 4:29 PM on May 14, 2013

Man, these guys are like Imperial Storm Troopers. All hype, no aim.

Cuter, though.
posted by restless_nomad at 4:51 PM on May 14, 2013

Cuter, though.

You've never really seen under those helmets. The Empire added a lot of kitten DNA to the clone mix. This makes them a bit excitable, and they tend to shoot at strings a lot, but the Emperor has got this thing for cats....
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:34 PM on May 14, 2013

homunculus : "Mustela erminea, Горностай домашний "

That seriously might be one of the best cat videos I've ever seen. All cats should come with little stoat buddies. It'd keep them in their place.
posted by quin at 6:00 PM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

I grew up with both cats and dogs, mostly German Shepherds and, umm, normal cats? Y'know, four legs, tail, meowing?

At one point, we ended up getting a pup and a kitten at roughly the same time, so they grew up together. I maintain that they imprinted on each other or something, because they both exhibited behaviours that I'd never seen before in either species.

The cat would insist on accompanying us on walks in a manner typical of dogs (until he got tired and you had to carry him home).

The dog would consistently use its paws in ways that are typical of cats. It was like nothing I'd ever seen before.

The best bit, though, was when they'd play fight.

The cat would ambush the dog from out of nowhere. More than once you'd find the dog walking around with the cat attached to the underside of its neck.

When the dog managed to get a hold of the cat, it would do so by the unfortunate feline's head. The poor animal would get carried around for a bit and then deposited wherever the dog felt proper. The cat would then slink off to clean itself. Nothing is more indignant than a dog-slobbered cat.

The absolute best, though, was when the cat would assault the dog's belly. So, 10-12 poundish cat vs what's a female shepherd? 70 pounds? Anyway, the cat would ninja out of nowhere and hook itself on to the dog's underside. The dog learned that the best way to counter this attack was to let its legs go and drop on the cat. It was funny every time! -sigh-

(Neither animal was ever hurt during their play fights and they both lived nice lives; the cat disappeared, perhaps eaten by a coyote, and the dog suffered a stroke on a run and had to be put down.)
posted by Maugrim at 6:56 PM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

That reminds me of when we had a German Shepard, one of the stocky thick-boned ones, well over 100lbs by the time he was 2 years old, and a stray cat we rescued. She'd been clipped in the head by a car and we couldn't just leave her in the street to die. She fully recuperated, and those two became fast friends and were remarkably tolerant of each other. Especially the cat; I can only assume that she was so thrilled to have a roof over her head and regular meals that even putting up with a boisterous enthusiastic doofus of a dog was small potatoes in comparison to her former life.

The dog was constantly either dragging her around by a paw or mouthing her back like it was a teething toy. Not biting, mind you; it was all incredibly delicately done, just blargh largh glarlaloom until her fur was soaking wet with dog drool. Kitty just queenly cool, relaxed and serene as could be the whole time. Next thing you know they'd be curled up together dreaming sweet dreams. It was fascinating to watch.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:16 PM on May 14, 2013 [2 favorites]

the cat disappeared, perhaps eaten by a coyote, and the dog suffered a stroke on a run and had to be put down.

"years later, everyone died" is not the ending of every piece of fiction for a reason. Geeze.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:13 AM on May 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

if you play with a kitten roughly, he'll grow up acting like this.

Good to know! We adopted him as an adult and always wondered why he seemed so friendly and murdery at the same time.
posted by backseatpilot at 5:06 AM on May 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

The cat is far from a dick. Any cat who shows their belly like that is totally playing and comfortable. Notice that the cat doesn't scratch the dog's nose? If Peaches was an asshole, that dog's nose would be shredded.

The dog is totally cool, too. No biting.
posted by Chuffy at 4:25 PM on May 15, 2013

One of my cats (Fanty, male) will drop onto his side or back in front of my dog (Kaylee, female) so the dog will know it's play time. She'll drag him around by his scruff or ear. Or it'll look like he wants to play Aliens and fasten himself to her face while she gnaws on his belly and he'll purr like a maniac the whole time. I'd love to film it, but they freeze and quit any time I pick up my camera.
posted by deborah at 9:04 PM on May 15, 2013

"years later, everyone died" is not the ending of every piece of fiction for a reason. Geeze.

I knew this comment was coming when I wrote the end of my post, but it was so much better than I expected.

"Years later, everyone died" is the new "And everyone lived happily ever after."


(As a courtesy, I'll keep the fates of the fish, birds, turtles, rabbits, mice, moles, squirrels, raccoons, foxes, and other dogs and cats that made up the everyday of my childhood to myself.)
posted by Maugrim at 10:37 PM on May 15, 2013