"I'm the princess right now."
May 24, 2013 9:23 AM Subscribe
Actual conversations with my 2 year old daughter, as re-enacted by me and another full grown man - Episode 1.
"Look at how much fun we're having."
This is great, but it definitely underscores the weird psychotic intensity small children have about ALL THE THINGS. More than once I have been terrified of the jaw-clenching, balled fists and arms wrapped tightly around her torso, squealing joy of my youngest niece (aka "Baby Hulk").
posted by Kitteh at 9:28 AM on May 24, 2013 [9 favorites]
This is great, but it definitely underscores the weird psychotic intensity small children have about ALL THE THINGS. More than once I have been terrified of the jaw-clenching, balled fists and arms wrapped tightly around her torso, squealing joy of my youngest niece (aka "Baby Hulk").
posted by Kitteh at 9:28 AM on May 24, 2013 [9 favorites]
Can I just say that I, and you, and pretty much everybody would be having a much more fabulous life today if they were named Coco Frances (unless that's already your name).
posted by FelliniBlank at 9:32 AM on May 24, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by FelliniBlank at 9:32 AM on May 24, 2013 [3 favorites]
Nailed it.
posted by KathrynT at 9:35 AM on May 24, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by KathrynT at 9:35 AM on May 24, 2013 [4 favorites]
Yeah, this is the stretch when kids are their most interesting, as they try to connect what they know, what they think they know, and what they think everyone will believe into what they feel a conversation should be like. A friend of mine has a three-year-old who is fantastic, and I think their conversations make great reading:
Mom; "I have a surprise for you!"
Daughter: "What is it?"
Mom: "What do you think it is?"
Daughter: "A dog?"
Mom: "Nope."
Daughter, sighing: "I guess we'll never know. Maybe it is a dog, and maybe it isn't, and maybe it's maybe."
Mom: "No, it's definitely not a dog."
Daughter: "We'll never know."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:43 AM on May 24, 2013 [223 favorites]
Mom; "I have a surprise for you!"
Daughter: "What is it?"
Mom: "What do you think it is?"
Daughter: "A dog?"
Mom: "Nope."
Daughter, sighing: "I guess we'll never know. Maybe it is a dog, and maybe it isn't, and maybe it's maybe."
Mom: "No, it's definitely not a dog."
Daughter: "We'll never know."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:43 AM on May 24, 2013 [223 favorites]
I really like the premise, and I thought it was funny, but I felt like the dad was speaking to an adult, and not a two year old. Would he really tell his daughter "Well, that's my wife. I can talk to my wife whenever I want to." It breaks the man out of his role as a two year old. If he had said something like "Well, mommy and I need to talk right now because we have very important things to do", it would have fit better.
posted by FirstMateKate at 9:45 AM on May 24, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by FirstMateKate at 9:45 AM on May 24, 2013 [4 favorites]
I would have enjoyed this even more without the over-exposition, just right into the scene and then figuring out it was a man in place of the kid. Also if there were 37 more of them because its really good.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:46 AM on May 24, 2013
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:46 AM on May 24, 2013
Would he really tell his daughter "Well, that's my wife. I can talk to my wife whenever I want to."
Yes. My husband and I say things like this to our two year old all the time. It's part of pointing out that other people have relationships independent of the child's relationship with either person.
posted by KathrynT at 9:51 AM on May 24, 2013 [49 favorites]
Yes. My husband and I say things like this to our two year old all the time. It's part of pointing out that other people have relationships independent of the child's relationship with either person.
posted by KathrynT at 9:51 AM on May 24, 2013 [49 favorites]
Perfect, one of the funniest things i have seen in ages. 10/10.
posted by marienbad at 9:51 AM on May 24, 2013
posted by marienbad at 9:51 AM on May 24, 2013
> "We'll never know."
Damn. Eat your heart out, Beckett.
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:51 AM on May 24, 2013 [13 favorites]
Damn. Eat your heart out, Beckett.
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:51 AM on May 24, 2013 [13 favorites]
Would he really tell his daughter "Well, that's my wife. I can talk to my wife whenever I want to."
I can believe that pretty easily, actually. One of the things you're beginning to try to teach a kid at that age is that people have relationships with each other that aren't in every instance mediated by their mutual relationship to the child. I could see this as the kind of thing a parent says implicitly carrying the message "I know you think of her entirely and solely as 'Mommy' and therefore entirely and solely your personal property, but she's also a person who has all kinds of other relationships, some of which aren't entirely about you!"
posted by yoink at 9:52 AM on May 24, 2013 [15 favorites]
I can believe that pretty easily, actually. One of the things you're beginning to try to teach a kid at that age is that people have relationships with each other that aren't in every instance mediated by their mutual relationship to the child. I could see this as the kind of thing a parent says implicitly carrying the message "I know you think of her entirely and solely as 'Mommy' and therefore entirely and solely your personal property, but she's also a person who has all kinds of other relationships, some of which aren't entirely about you!"
posted by yoink at 9:52 AM on May 24, 2013 [15 favorites]
@FirstMateKate: I have absolutely referred to my wife as 'my wife' to my kids. But then, we're a weird family where my kids are equally likely to call me Lucas as they are to call me Dad.
posted by lucasks at 9:52 AM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by lucasks at 9:52 AM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
"Oooo, I'm so ANGRY right now!!"
"Now I'll never be able to play my guitar-drum! NEVER!"
Etc.
posted by gottabefunky at 9:53 AM on May 24, 2013
"Now I'll never be able to play my guitar-drum! NEVER!"
Etc.
posted by gottabefunky at 9:53 AM on May 24, 2013
I saw this the other day and thought, "Eh. I still prefer Pearl the Landlord."
NSFW
posted by kinetic at 9:53 AM on May 24, 2013 [6 favorites]
NSFW
posted by kinetic at 9:53 AM on May 24, 2013 [6 favorites]
Would he really tell his daughter "Well, that's my wife. I can talk to my wife whenever I want to." It breaks the man out of his role as a two year old. If he had said something like "Well, mommy and I need to talk right now because we have very important things to do", it would have fit better.
Yes. Words can't express how off-putting the sharply barbed words of a toddler/pre-schooler can set one into a quiet rage. You'll also get phrases like, "Don't talk to me. You aren't the boss of me. I make the decisions." We aren't born with social awareness and at that age the ego, id, and super ego are not as concerned for your conversation as they are about fulfilling their needs. Strong willed and assertive kids are great in many ways, but sometimes it feels like you are talking to senior entrenched management.
posted by Nanukthedog at 9:56 AM on May 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
Yes. Words can't express how off-putting the sharply barbed words of a toddler/pre-schooler can set one into a quiet rage. You'll also get phrases like, "Don't talk to me. You aren't the boss of me. I make the decisions." We aren't born with social awareness and at that age the ego, id, and super ego are not as concerned for your conversation as they are about fulfilling their needs. Strong willed and assertive kids are great in many ways, but sometimes it feels like you are talking to senior entrenched management.
posted by Nanukthedog at 9:56 AM on May 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
Damn. Eat your heart out, Beckett.
Yes, she is marvellous. The subsequent discussion with her went thus:
Mom: "This jewellery box is for you. My grandma gave it to my mom when she was little and my mom gave it to me when I was little."
Daughter: "I can keep it?"
Mom: "Yeah - maybe one day you'll have a little girl and you can give it to her."
Daughter: "No! I don't want to give it to her! I don't like her -- she always takes my stuff!"
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:56 AM on May 24, 2013 [132 favorites]
Yes, she is marvellous. The subsequent discussion with her went thus:
Mom: "This jewellery box is for you. My grandma gave it to my mom when she was little and my mom gave it to me when I was little."
Daughter: "I can keep it?"
Mom: "Yeah - maybe one day you'll have a little girl and you can give it to her."
Daughter: "No! I don't want to give it to her! I don't like her -- she always takes my stuff!"
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:56 AM on May 24, 2013 [132 favorites]
My point wasn't about referring to the mom as "my wife" instead of "your mother", but more about the snotty attitude that I read from it. The kid is expressing (to her) legitimate reasons why they (the parents) can't have a conversation, and the dad basically says "Too bad. It's my wife and I can do whatever I want. Nice try, though!"
posted by FirstMateKate at 10:02 AM on May 24, 2013
posted by FirstMateKate at 10:02 AM on May 24, 2013
FirstMateKate, I'm telling you, I am the mother of a two year old and I have conversations like this with my children all. the. time. Two year olds have no social boundaries except the ones you set and enforce. It may not read to you as realistic, but I assure you it is.
posted by KathrynT at 10:05 AM on May 24, 2013 [11 favorites]
posted by KathrynT at 10:05 AM on May 24, 2013 [11 favorites]
To add: it sounds like the father is saying that the husband/wife relationship is more important than mother/daughter, and so he can talk to her whenever he likes, and has the right to dismiss all concerns from the daughter.
I understand that not everyone read it that way, but I did and I would be extremely upset if someone spoke to my child that way.
posted by FirstMateKate at 10:06 AM on May 24, 2013
I understand that not everyone read it that way, but I did and I would be extremely upset if someone spoke to my child that way.
posted by FirstMateKate at 10:06 AM on May 24, 2013
This is awesome. My dream kid-stories project is a little different. I wish I was (or knew) an animator, so I could dramatize the bullshit stories my four year-old tells.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:06 AM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:06 AM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
husband/wife relationship is more important than mother/daughter,
My parents raised us this way (marriage has higher priority than kids) and I think it was a good thing, though their particular iteration may have been a little whacked.
It's actually reassuring to a kid to know the world doesn't completely depend on his/her interactions/relationships.
posted by small_ruminant at 10:09 AM on May 24, 2013 [4 favorites]
My parents raised us this way (marriage has higher priority than kids) and I think it was a good thing, though their particular iteration may have been a little whacked.
It's actually reassuring to a kid to know the world doesn't completely depend on his/her interactions/relationships.
posted by small_ruminant at 10:09 AM on May 24, 2013 [4 favorites]
it sounds like the father is saying that the husband/wife relationship is more important than mother/daughter, and so he can talk to her whenever he likes, and has the right to dismiss all concerns from the daughter.
Really? Because that's not the reading I got from it at all. Especially since, you know, he actually was trying to have a conversation with his wife and the kid interrupted them. How do kids learn not to do stuff like that, and that they're not the only person in the universe that matters, unless their parents help them learn by demonstrating that mom and dad aren't just mom and dad, they're actually people?
posted by palomar at 10:14 AM on May 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
Really? Because that's not the reading I got from it at all. Especially since, you know, he actually was trying to have a conversation with his wife and the kid interrupted them. How do kids learn not to do stuff like that, and that they're not the only person in the universe that matters, unless their parents help them learn by demonstrating that mom and dad aren't just mom and dad, they're actually people?
posted by palomar at 10:14 AM on May 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
Hah, I just caught the heart necklace and the little pink doodad in his hair.
posted by ChuraChura at 10:15 AM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by ChuraChura at 10:15 AM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
To add: it sounds like the father is saying that the husband/wife relationship is more important than mother/daughter, and so he can talk to her whenever he likes, and has the right to dismiss all concerns from the daughter.
I think the heavily dramatic re-enactment may be playing a role in giving you that impression. I certainly have similar conversations with my kids in terms of the phrasing, but the tone of voice used is quite different from the kind of over-the-top acting that's going on here.
posted by nickmark at 10:15 AM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
I think the heavily dramatic re-enactment may be playing a role in giving you that impression. I certainly have similar conversations with my kids in terms of the phrasing, but the tone of voice used is quite different from the kind of over-the-top acting that's going on here.
posted by nickmark at 10:15 AM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
My parents raised us this way (marriage has higher priority than kids) ...
Ditto in my family. The phrase often heard was along the lines of "We made you and we can make another one just like you if you insist on " blah blah blah stupid thing I was doing at the time.
posted by roue at 10:18 AM on May 24, 2013 [4 favorites]
Ditto in my family. The phrase often heard was along the lines of "We made you and we can make another one just like you if you insist on " blah blah blah stupid thing I was doing at the time.
posted by roue at 10:18 AM on May 24, 2013 [4 favorites]
To add: it sounds like the father is saying that the husband/wife relationship is more important than mother/daughter, and so he can talk to her whenever he likes, and has the right to dismiss all concerns from the daughter.
The kid just told him he wasn't allowed to speak to his wife. He's not saying anything at all about the importance of what the kid has to say and certainly not dismissing anything: he's asserting his right to talk to his wife.
One of the most disturbing trends I see in contemporary parenting is people's refusal to even try to make kids aware that they aren't always the star of every scene they find themselves in. It seems like in the reaction against the older "children should be seen but not heard" model we've moved into a kind of perpetual: "And now, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Our Glorious Offspring!!! Please silence your cellphones and direct all your attention to the stage. Anyone attempting to carry on anything like a continuous adult conversation will be asked to leave the theater." I feel myself silently cheering a little in my head every time I see a parent willing to say to an importunate child "just wait, darling, until I've finished telling Yoink about this thing and then it will be your turn." It's a really important social lesson for kids to learn: other people matter as more than audience.
posted by yoink at 10:19 AM on May 24, 2013 [68 favorites]
The kid just told him he wasn't allowed to speak to his wife. He's not saying anything at all about the importance of what the kid has to say and certainly not dismissing anything: he's asserting his right to talk to his wife.
One of the most disturbing trends I see in contemporary parenting is people's refusal to even try to make kids aware that they aren't always the star of every scene they find themselves in. It seems like in the reaction against the older "children should be seen but not heard" model we've moved into a kind of perpetual: "And now, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Our Glorious Offspring!!! Please silence your cellphones and direct all your attention to the stage. Anyone attempting to carry on anything like a continuous adult conversation will be asked to leave the theater." I feel myself silently cheering a little in my head every time I see a parent willing to say to an importunate child "just wait, darling, until I've finished telling Yoink about this thing and then it will be your turn." It's a really important social lesson for kids to learn: other people matter as more than audience.
posted by yoink at 10:19 AM on May 24, 2013 [68 favorites]
it sounds like the father is saying that the husband/wife relationship is more important than mother/daughter, and so he can talk to her whenever he likes, and has the right to dismiss all concerns from the daughter.
Given the way kids are, I think putting their role in the world in a little perspective isn't a bad thing; my father made is pretty clear that his relationship with my mother was pretty important and that occasionally I should get lost. I think that actually helped me in terms of 1) realizing that I'm not always the center of the action and 2) seeing that married couples with kids could still be functional couples with a relationship with each other, not just the kid.
To be fair, he was also fond of driving slowly by my mother and me when we were taking walks while telling her to "ditch the kid and get with a real man" which is hilarious, but probably not something I'll do when I have kids.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:22 AM on May 24, 2013 [90 favorites]
Given the way kids are, I think putting their role in the world in a little perspective isn't a bad thing; my father made is pretty clear that his relationship with my mother was pretty important and that occasionally I should get lost. I think that actually helped me in terms of 1) realizing that I'm not always the center of the action and 2) seeing that married couples with kids could still be functional couples with a relationship with each other, not just the kid.
To be fair, he was also fond of driving slowly by my mother and me when we were taking walks while telling her to "ditch the kid and get with a real man" which is hilarious, but probably not something I'll do when I have kids.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:22 AM on May 24, 2013 [90 favorites]
Reminds me a lot of the Kid Snippets series, which is very funny.
posted by Perplexity at 10:25 AM on May 24, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by Perplexity at 10:25 AM on May 24, 2013 [5 favorites]
To be fair, he was also fond of driving slowly by my mother and me when we were taking walks while telling her to "ditch the kid and get with a real man" which is hilarious, but probably not something I'll do when I have kids.
I am sorry, no. It would be an insult to the spirit of Fatherhood if you did not do this.
posted by oflinkey at 10:27 AM on May 24, 2013 [52 favorites]
I am sorry, no. It would be an insult to the spirit of Fatherhood if you did not do this.
posted by oflinkey at 10:27 AM on May 24, 2013 [52 favorites]
Part of the problem parents have with teenagers is that they've seen it all before... when the kid was 2 instead of 16.
posted by ennui.bz at 10:29 AM on May 24, 2013
posted by ennui.bz at 10:29 AM on May 24, 2013
To be fair, he was also fond of driving slowly by my mother and me when we were taking walks while telling her to "ditch the kid and get with a real man"
I like the cut of your father's jib.
posted by yoink at 10:29 AM on May 24, 2013 [12 favorites]
I like the cut of your father's jib.
posted by yoink at 10:29 AM on May 24, 2013 [12 favorites]
Scene: Dodger Stadium parking lot - kid has basically grown up at Dodger Stadium. Kid and mom in back seat, dad and Miguel in front seat.
Kid (2.5 yrs): Why is he riding with us?
Mom: He is Miguel and we're going to take Miguel (a friend of the family and an Arizona Diamondback) home.
Kid (whispering): Where will we keep this Dodger?
posted by Sophie1 at 10:34 AM on May 24, 2013 [8 favorites]
Kid (2.5 yrs): Why is he riding with us?
Mom: He is Miguel and we're going to take Miguel (a friend of the family and an Arizona Diamondback) home.
Kid (whispering): Where will we keep this Dodger?
posted by Sophie1 at 10:34 AM on May 24, 2013 [8 favorites]
Perplexity: "Reminds me a lot of the Kid Snippets series, which is very funny."
This one is the best: Salesman
posted by Perplexity at 10:38 AM on May 24, 2013 [12 favorites]
This one is the best: Salesman
posted by Perplexity at 10:38 AM on May 24, 2013 [12 favorites]
The other day my four year old daughter wasn't getting any traction with her complaints, so she tried a new tact. The ordered list. "A: I don't like this yogurt. B: it doesn't taste good. C: I'm bored. D: there's nothing to do." There was also an E, but I don't remember what it was. I thought it was a nice effort.
(I'm not on Facebook, so I have no other outlet for my kid stories. Sorry Metafilter.)
posted by diogenes at 10:40 AM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
(I'm not on Facebook, so I have no other outlet for my kid stories. Sorry Metafilter.)
posted by diogenes at 10:40 AM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
You don't have to worry until she starts nesting her lists.
posted by brundlefly at 10:43 AM on May 24, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by brundlefly at 10:43 AM on May 24, 2013 [4 favorites]
Reminds me a lot of the Kid Snippets series, which is very funny.
Seconding this, these are hilarious.
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 10:44 AM on May 24, 2013
Seconding this, these are hilarious.
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 10:44 AM on May 24, 2013
My oldest niece--who will be 5 next week--scared the bejesus out of my mom recently. My mom has this old soft gold necklace that she has promised Eldest Niece when she has passed away, but Mom is getting a little weirded out by the kid constantly reminding her "when you die, Nanny, I get your necklace. Right? Right? Right? Don't forget I get that necklace when you die."
posted by Kitteh at 10:55 AM on May 24, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by Kitteh at 10:55 AM on May 24, 2013 [6 favorites]
You don't have to worry until she starts nesting her lists.
Eh, I wouldn't worry about it until she gets to self-balancing binary search trees. Then you're a goner.
posted by kmz at 10:58 AM on May 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
Eh, I wouldn't worry about it until she gets to self-balancing binary search trees. Then you're a goner.
posted by kmz at 10:58 AM on May 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
Reminds me a lot of the Kid Snippets series, which is very funny.
The one about the afterlife is surreal.
posted by ovvl at 10:59 AM on May 24, 2013 [3 favorites]
The one about the afterlife is surreal.
posted by ovvl at 10:59 AM on May 24, 2013 [3 favorites]
Yeah, my 3 year old does stuff like that ALL. THE. TIME.
"Don't talk to her (her being me)!"
"Don't look at me!"
"Don't look at my baby sister!"
"You don't like that, I like that."
Small kids are wacky.
posted by zorrine at 11:08 AM on May 24, 2013
"Don't talk to her (her being me)!"
"Don't look at me!"
"Don't look at my baby sister!"
"You don't like that, I like that."
Small kids are wacky.
posted by zorrine at 11:08 AM on May 24, 2013
Weirdly that was less funny than I anticipated.
posted by modernnomad at 11:12 AM on May 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by modernnomad at 11:12 AM on May 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
Damn. Eat your heart out, Beckett.
ESTRAGON:
Let's go.
VLADIMIR:
We can't.
ESTRAGON:
Why not?
VLADIMIR:
We're waiting for Dogot.
posted by bibliowench at 11:20 AM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
ESTRAGON:
Let's go.
VLADIMIR:
We can't.
ESTRAGON:
Why not?
VLADIMIR:
We're waiting for Dogot.
posted by bibliowench at 11:20 AM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
One of my favourite babysitting memories is my not-quite-two-year-old charge telling me, having figured out that funtime was over and bedtime was approaching, "bardophile, I am no longer interested in this opportunity with you."
posted by bardophile at 11:52 AM on May 24, 2013 [41 favorites]
posted by bardophile at 11:52 AM on May 24, 2013 [41 favorites]
This really makes me want to talk to my daughter. Right now she is in a pre-words stage where she just shouts at everything with great cheer.
posted by selfnoise at 11:56 AM on May 24, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by selfnoise at 11:56 AM on May 24, 2013 [6 favorites]
ricochet biscuit: "Yeah, this is the stretch when kids are their most interesting, as they try to connect what they know, what they think they know, and what they think everyone will believe into what they feel a conversation should be like. A friend of mine has a three-year-old who is fantastic, and I think their conversations make great reading:
Mom; "I have a surprise for you!"
Daughter: "What is it?"
Mom: "What do you think it is?"
Daughter: "A dog?"
Mom: "Nope."
Daughter, sighing: "I guess we'll never know. Maybe it is a dog, and maybe it isn't, and maybe it's maybe."
Mom: "No, it's definitely not a dog."
Daughter: "We'll never know.""
Reminds me of the time in my youth when my family went on a shopping spree while I was at home studying for midterms.
This was in the 80's (so the reason for my answer will be more clear.)
I was hammering the books when I heard the car pull up. My oldest sister, who was, I think 5 or 6 at the time, ran in the back door and promptly told me "Guess what we got? It's blonde!"
I replied "Christie Brinkley?"
"Noooooooo... Come and see!"
It was a cocker spaniel.
posted by Samizdata at 11:57 AM on May 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
Mom; "I have a surprise for you!"
Daughter: "What is it?"
Mom: "What do you think it is?"
Daughter: "A dog?"
Mom: "Nope."
Daughter, sighing: "I guess we'll never know. Maybe it is a dog, and maybe it isn't, and maybe it's maybe."
Mom: "No, it's definitely not a dog."
Daughter: "We'll never know.""
Reminds me of the time in my youth when my family went on a shopping spree while I was at home studying for midterms.
This was in the 80's (so the reason for my answer will be more clear.)
I was hammering the books when I heard the car pull up. My oldest sister, who was, I think 5 or 6 at the time, ran in the back door and promptly told me "Guess what we got? It's blonde!"
I replied "Christie Brinkley?"
"Noooooooo... Come and see!"
It was a cocker spaniel.
posted by Samizdata at 11:57 AM on May 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
Mom; "I have a surprise for you!"
Daughter: "What is it?"
Mom: "What do you think it is?"
Daughter: "A dog?"
Mom: "Nope."
Daughter, sighing: "I guess we'll never know. Maybe it is a dog, and maybe it isn't, and maybe it's maybe."
Mom: "No, it's definitely not a dog."
Daughter: "We'll never know.""
I enjoyed this 20x more than the video. That's awesome.
posted by sweetkid at 12:05 PM on May 24, 2013 [7 favorites]
Daughter: "What is it?"
Mom: "What do you think it is?"
Daughter: "A dog?"
Mom: "Nope."
Daughter, sighing: "I guess we'll never know. Maybe it is a dog, and maybe it isn't, and maybe it's maybe."
Mom: "No, it's definitely not a dog."
Daughter: "We'll never know.""
I enjoyed this 20x more than the video. That's awesome.
posted by sweetkid at 12:05 PM on May 24, 2013 [7 favorites]
"maybe it's maybe" is the most profound statement I've heard in a long time.
posted by kiltedtaco at 12:10 PM on May 24, 2013 [9 favorites]
posted by kiltedtaco at 12:10 PM on May 24, 2013 [9 favorites]
I was re-reading some quantum mechanics last night, because it's been a while, and I came across the story of the π0 meson, the pion. A meson is a particle kind of like a proton, say. A proton is made of three quarks, specifically two up quarks and a down quark. Mesons are made of two quarks, usually a quark and an anti-quark. Now, there was originally some question about the neutral pi meson, was it an up and an anti-up quark? Or was it a down quark plus an anti-down? Turns out it's actually both, it can either decay as if it was u+anti-u, or as if it was d+anti-d; the pion is a superposition of two different states in which it's made of entirely different particles.
"maybe it's maybe". In this case, it is in fact maybe. I strongly recommend your daughter become a particle physicist.
posted by kiltedtaco at 12:23 PM on May 24, 2013 [12 favorites]
"maybe it's maybe". In this case, it is in fact maybe. I strongly recommend your daughter become a particle physicist.
posted by kiltedtaco at 12:23 PM on May 24, 2013 [12 favorites]
He's the father. He absolutely has the right to dismiss the concerns of his daughter. That's how they learn what proper concerns and hierarchies are. "You're not always...or even often...the most important thing," seems to me to be one of the life lessons kids need most.
That's how kids end up not being self-centered monsters like seems to be the norm these days. (/curmudgeonism)
And Bulgaroktonos, I LOVE the cut of your father's jib. My wife and I had a song we sang when the kids were little, "It's not a child's day.....! It's time to go away....!" Perhaps they are scarred, but they now seem like decent young adults with good senses of humor.
posted by umberto at 12:27 PM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
That's how kids end up not being self-centered monsters like seems to be the norm these days. (/curmudgeonism)
And Bulgaroktonos, I LOVE the cut of your father's jib. My wife and I had a song we sang when the kids were little, "It's not a child's day.....! It's time to go away....!" Perhaps they are scarred, but they now seem like decent young adults with good senses of humor.
posted by umberto at 12:27 PM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
This is the meat of a poem my 8 year old wrote in 2nd grade this year:
I am a little brother
I love cats
I have a cat in me
I will own lots of cats
I have meow in my head
I am afraid of dying
I wish my brothers would play with me
I love my cat and my puppy
This is from memory, so it's missing a bit.
He has very long hair, so I wash it for him, and we have very strange conversations during those times. My favorite recollection is when he told me he wished he could convert back and forth between being a girl and being a boy, at will.
I think he's one of those aliens from 3rd Rock From The Sun.
posted by Brocktoon at 12:31 PM on May 24, 2013 [11 favorites]
I am a little brother
I love cats
I have a cat in me
I will own lots of cats
I have meow in my head
I am afraid of dying
I wish my brothers would play with me
I love my cat and my puppy
This is from memory, so it's missing a bit.
He has very long hair, so I wash it for him, and we have very strange conversations during those times. My favorite recollection is when he told me he wished he could convert back and forth between being a girl and being a boy, at will.
I think he's one of those aliens from 3rd Rock From The Sun.
posted by Brocktoon at 12:31 PM on May 24, 2013 [11 favorites]
And now I'm going to fall down the rabbit hole of Kid Snippets. Damn you, MetaFilter.
posted by jennaratrix at 12:34 PM on May 24, 2013
posted by jennaratrix at 12:34 PM on May 24, 2013
Oh here, I found the poem on my phone:
I am a video game master
I wonder how "The Big Bang" is made
I hear meows in my mind
I see my cat trying to get out
I want to be a cat
I am an owner of cats
I pretend I am a cat
I feel my dog's fur when I get home
I touch cats a lot
I worry about dying
I cry when my brothers don't play with me
I am a lover of cats
I understand what a fossil is
I say, "Meow" a lot. Meow!
I dream about doing anything
posted by Brocktoon at 12:48 PM on May 24, 2013 [39 favorites]
I am a video game master
I wonder how "The Big Bang" is made
I hear meows in my mind
I see my cat trying to get out
I want to be a cat
I am an owner of cats
I pretend I am a cat
I feel my dog's fur when I get home
I touch cats a lot
I worry about dying
I cry when my brothers don't play with me
I am a lover of cats
I understand what a fossil is
I say, "Meow" a lot. Meow!
I dream about doing anything
posted by Brocktoon at 12:48 PM on May 24, 2013 [39 favorites]
Amazing how readily that felt like a hostage situation.
posted by fatbird at 1:08 PM on May 24, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by fatbird at 1:08 PM on May 24, 2013 [3 favorites]
I enjoyed this 20x more than the video. That's awesome.
posted by sweetkid at 3:05 PM on May 24 [2 favorites −] Favorite added! [!]
Eponysterical.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:42 PM on May 24, 2013
posted by sweetkid at 3:05 PM on May 24 [2 favorites −] Favorite added! [!]
Eponysterical.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:42 PM on May 24, 2013
"maybe it's maybe" is the most profound statement I've heard in a long time.
At the very least, "Maybe it is a dog, and maybe it isn't, and maybe it's maybe," seems to be comprehensive. I have trouble thinking of a fourth option.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:44 PM on May 24, 2013 [4 favorites]
At the very least, "Maybe it is a dog, and maybe it isn't, and maybe it's maybe," seems to be comprehensive. I have trouble thinking of a fourth option.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:44 PM on May 24, 2013 [4 favorites]
Yesterday, upon being told not to do something, "Mom, you're making my heart turn black."
I have also been told that he wants to curse me (in a magic way), that he wished I wasn't his mom, but also that he wants to marry me, and I am the best mom ever.
All I want is for him to brush his damn teeth without having to be told six times. Instead I get Unfiltered Emotions Theater.
posted by emjaybee at 1:52 PM on May 24, 2013 [23 favorites]
I have also been told that he wants to curse me (in a magic way), that he wished I wasn't his mom, but also that he wants to marry me, and I am the best mom ever.
All I want is for him to brush his damn teeth without having to be told six times. Instead I get Unfiltered Emotions Theater.
posted by emjaybee at 1:52 PM on May 24, 2013 [23 favorites]
he wished he could convert back and fourth between being a boy and girl, at will
Ok, that would be super cool.
Also, was the guy playing the daughter the same guy who played the cat in that cat and dog video?
Anyways, this is awesome.
posted by windykites at 2:14 PM on May 24, 2013
Ok, that would be super cool.
Also, was the guy playing the daughter the same guy who played the cat in that cat and dog video?
Anyways, this is awesome.
posted by windykites at 2:14 PM on May 24, 2013
other people matter as more than audience.
-- Waitaminute, what?
mind = blown
posted by webmutant at 2:24 PM on May 24, 2013
-- Waitaminute, what?
mind = blown
posted by webmutant at 2:24 PM on May 24, 2013
Especially since, you know, he actually was trying to have a conversation with his wife and the kid interrupted them.
I don't think this is the full story. It seems that the daughter and the mother were playing before the father came home, so he's interrupting them. The mother's concession that she is the princess seems to point that way. The child, then, would be legitimately aggrieved by the interruption — the father's acting like he can just barge in and have the conversation he wants to have, like whatever was happening in the room before has no importance. Now, sure, the daughter doesn't have the right to forbid him from talking to his wife, but, well, she's two, so it's unreasonable to expect her to have full command of how to raise grievances in a socially appropriate manner.
The father's response just takes the kid's statements at face value, and doesn't engage at all with the underlying grievance. As an adult, he is in a position to use his maturity and experience to look past the kid's exact statements, to try to see the world from her point of view, to disentangle the kernel of legitimate grievance from the inappropriate arrogation of authority. He doesn't do that. Instead, he just takes her statement at face value and rejects it, without apparently wondering what's really going on. How is the kid supposed to understand that it's just the way she made her annoyance known which is unacceptable, not her feeling annoyed in the first place, not her thinking that she deserves some consideration? Again, the adult is in a position to understand these fine distinctions and to respond appropriately to each aspect of the situation. E.g., "I guess you're annoyed that I interrupted your game. I'm sorry; I didn't realize you were playing. But I have to talk to my wife right now to figure out what we're having for dinner tonight. She can be the princess again in a minute."
I don't want to speak for FirstMateKate, but maybe this is why it seemed to her like the father was dismissing the daughter's concerns.
posted by stebulus at 3:06 PM on May 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
I don't think this is the full story. It seems that the daughter and the mother were playing before the father came home, so he's interrupting them. The mother's concession that she is the princess seems to point that way. The child, then, would be legitimately aggrieved by the interruption — the father's acting like he can just barge in and have the conversation he wants to have, like whatever was happening in the room before has no importance. Now, sure, the daughter doesn't have the right to forbid him from talking to his wife, but, well, she's two, so it's unreasonable to expect her to have full command of how to raise grievances in a socially appropriate manner.
The father's response just takes the kid's statements at face value, and doesn't engage at all with the underlying grievance. As an adult, he is in a position to use his maturity and experience to look past the kid's exact statements, to try to see the world from her point of view, to disentangle the kernel of legitimate grievance from the inappropriate arrogation of authority. He doesn't do that. Instead, he just takes her statement at face value and rejects it, without apparently wondering what's really going on. How is the kid supposed to understand that it's just the way she made her annoyance known which is unacceptable, not her feeling annoyed in the first place, not her thinking that she deserves some consideration? Again, the adult is in a position to understand these fine distinctions and to respond appropriately to each aspect of the situation. E.g., "I guess you're annoyed that I interrupted your game. I'm sorry; I didn't realize you were playing. But I have to talk to my wife right now to figure out what we're having for dinner tonight. She can be the princess again in a minute."
I don't want to speak for FirstMateKate, but maybe this is why it seemed to her like the father was dismissing the daughter's concerns.
posted by stebulus at 3:06 PM on May 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
One of my favourite babysitting memories is my not-quite-two-year-old charge telling me, having figured out that funtime was over and bedtime was approaching, "bardophile, I am no longer interested in this opportunity with you."
My mother likes to tell the story about how wee Like_a_Friend, about two weeks after learning to speak in sentences, informed her with TREMENDOUS indignation that "YOUR HUSBAND HAS FARTED."
posted by like_a_friend at 3:14 PM on May 24, 2013 [14 favorites]
My mother likes to tell the story about how wee Like_a_Friend, about two weeks after learning to speak in sentences, informed her with TREMENDOUS indignation that "YOUR HUSBAND HAS FARTED."
posted by like_a_friend at 3:14 PM on May 24, 2013 [14 favorites]
It's true. Like all parents who reveal anything on the Internet, they are in fact horrible.
It's true. Like all comments with an element of criticism, mine was a blanket condemnation.
posted by stebulus at 3:28 PM on May 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
It's true. Like all comments with an element of criticism, mine was a blanket condemnation.
posted by stebulus at 3:28 PM on May 24, 2013 [2 favorites]
Metafilter: I hear meows in my mind
posted by sweetkid at 3:45 PM on May 24, 2013 [8 favorites]
posted by sweetkid at 3:45 PM on May 24, 2013 [8 favorites]
When my aunt was a little kid she apparently walked up to a family friend who was helping in the garden, pointed at the spade he was holding and said, "Louis, what's that objet d'art?"
posted by brundlefly at 5:55 PM on May 24, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by brundlefly at 5:55 PM on May 24, 2013 [4 favorites]
I loved that, and found it a bit disturbing.
To me, having a grown-up play the kid seems to reveal the kid's emotions ... it's very easy to tune out or dismiss what a kid says because, well, it's a tiny person demanding that you not talk. But with the adult playing the kid the possessiveness and menace really came through in a way that was alarming.
posted by bunderful at 6:18 PM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
To me, having a grown-up play the kid seems to reveal the kid's emotions ... it's very easy to tune out or dismiss what a kid says because, well, it's a tiny person demanding that you not talk. But with the adult playing the kid the possessiveness and menace really came through in a way that was alarming.
posted by bunderful at 6:18 PM on May 24, 2013 [1 favorite]
I WILL NEVER BE A PRINCESS NOW
NEVER
I'M NOT LIVING HERE ANY MORE
where are you going sweetheart
TO GRANNY AND GRANPA THEY LOVE ME NOT LIKE YOU
ok how are you getting there
BY PLANE
ok see you
...
...
I'M THIRSTY CAN I HAVE SOME MILK PLEASE
of course
posted by Sebmojo at 8:53 PM on May 24, 2013 [8 favorites]
NEVER
I'M NOT LIVING HERE ANY MORE
where are you going sweetheart
TO GRANNY AND GRANPA THEY LOVE ME NOT LIKE YOU
ok how are you getting there
BY PLANE
ok see you
...
...
I'M THIRSTY CAN I HAVE SOME MILK PLEASE
of course
posted by Sebmojo at 8:53 PM on May 24, 2013 [8 favorites]
A scene with my 2.5-year-old tonight — L. is using her new toy wrench to remove "splinters" from my foot.
Me (acting nervous): Is it going to hurt?
Dr. L, very serious: Yes.
Me: But just a little, right?
L: No, it will hurt a lot!
Me: But, then I'll feel better, right?
L: Nope! Ready?! Here comes!
--
I was just about crying with suppressed laughter. And then, like, really wondering about how I have coached and cajoled and soothed her through splinter removal and still...possibly still, in her mind, I'm just: "Look out! Here it comes!"
I give this video a 4 out of 5 stars but I'll be back for more. It's a pretty fab idea and, yes, adult baby is more than a little disturbing.
posted by amanda at 9:31 PM on May 24, 2013 [15 favorites]
Me (acting nervous): Is it going to hurt?
Dr. L, very serious: Yes.
Me: But just a little, right?
L: No, it will hurt a lot!
Me: But, then I'll feel better, right?
L: Nope! Ready?! Here comes!
--
I was just about crying with suppressed laughter. And then, like, really wondering about how I have coached and cajoled and soothed her through splinter removal and still...possibly still, in her mind, I'm just: "Look out! Here it comes!"
I give this video a 4 out of 5 stars but I'll be back for more. It's a pretty fab idea and, yes, adult baby is more than a little disturbing.
posted by amanda at 9:31 PM on May 24, 2013 [15 favorites]
This thread made me smile WAY too much dammit stop making me want a child someday metafilter.
posted by flaterik at 12:03 AM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by flaterik at 12:03 AM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]
This reminds me that I'd kinda forgotten how weirdly realistic Yotsuba&! is about little kids.
posted by nicebookrack at 1:43 PM on May 25, 2013
posted by nicebookrack at 1:43 PM on May 25, 2013
As I've said here before, I teach at an immersion-style English kindergarten in Japan. Last year I had a class of 2 to 3-year-olds, and oh the conversations we'd have.
Y-kun hands me a toy cell phone while he's holding another one:
Y-kun: Hello?
Me: Hello
Y-kun: You are my sunshine
Me: .....
Y-kun: Goodbye
Playing hospital:
A-chan: I'm a doctor!
Me: That's good because I feel sick.
A-chan: You need a shot!
Me: No I don't.
A-chan: But I already made the shot.
Me: But I don't want a shot. Shots hurt.
A-chan: Yes, but if you cry Mommy will be angry. And you won't get any toys.
Me: I'll definitely cry. I'll cry a lot. I will never stop crying.
A-chan:........
A-chan: That's ok, this is Crying Hospital.
posted by emmling at 5:36 PM on May 25, 2013 [13 favorites]
Y-kun hands me a toy cell phone while he's holding another one:
Y-kun: Hello?
Me: Hello
Y-kun: You are my sunshine
Me: .....
Y-kun: Goodbye
Playing hospital:
A-chan: I'm a doctor!
Me: That's good because I feel sick.
A-chan: You need a shot!
Me: No I don't.
A-chan: But I already made the shot.
Me: But I don't want a shot. Shots hurt.
A-chan: Yes, but if you cry Mommy will be angry. And you won't get any toys.
Me: I'll definitely cry. I'll cry a lot. I will never stop crying.
A-chan:........
A-chan: That's ok, this is Crying Hospital.
posted by emmling at 5:36 PM on May 25, 2013 [13 favorites]
I recorded my then 2 year old daughter Maya singing a song to herself while we were out for a stroller. It went like this:
SUNG EXUBERANTLY
Bum-bum-bumble bee, bumble bumble bee!
they don't have big mouths
then they might not look at themselves and bite Maya
and then Maya might be really sad
DRAMATIC SPOKEN WORD SEGMENT
I might be really sad if the bumblebees bite me
PAUSE
SUNG EXUBERANTLY
Bum-bum-bumble bee, bumble bumble bee!
I love that song.
posted by drinkmaildave at 9:35 PM on May 25, 2013 [13 favorites]
SUNG EXUBERANTLY
Bum-bum-bumble bee, bumble bumble bee!
they don't have big mouths
then they might not look at themselves and bite Maya
and then Maya might be really sad
DRAMATIC SPOKEN WORD SEGMENT
I might be really sad if the bumblebees bite me
PAUSE
SUNG EXUBERANTLY
Bum-bum-bumble bee, bumble bumble bee!
I love that song.
posted by drinkmaildave at 9:35 PM on May 25, 2013 [13 favorites]
As an adult, he is in a position to use his maturity and experience to look past the kid's exact statements, to try to see the world from her point of view, to disentangle the kernel of legitimate grievance from the inappropriate arrogation of authority.
But isn't the whole point of the video to exploit the comedy in the fact that social interactions with children are, in fact, interactions between real people, not between wise and omniscient superbeings and those they must nurture? The response you want might have been better, but it wouldn't have reflected the reality that everyone involved in the relationship has needs and baggage that lead to complex, odd and uncomfortable situations.
Helping people to reflect on why and how parenting is weird and difficult seems more likely to enable them to be good parents than does another drop in the torrent of exhortations to be perfect.
posted by howfar at 3:09 AM on May 26, 2013 [5 favorites]
But isn't the whole point of the video to exploit the comedy in the fact that social interactions with children are, in fact, interactions between real people, not between wise and omniscient superbeings and those they must nurture? The response you want might have been better, but it wouldn't have reflected the reality that everyone involved in the relationship has needs and baggage that lead to complex, odd and uncomfortable situations.
Helping people to reflect on why and how parenting is weird and difficult seems more likely to enable them to be good parents than does another drop in the torrent of exhortations to be perfect.
posted by howfar at 3:09 AM on May 26, 2013 [5 favorites]
AskMeFi: That's ok, this is Crying Hospital.
posted by saul wright at 2:30 PM on May 26, 2013 [7 favorites]
posted by saul wright at 2:30 PM on May 26, 2013 [7 favorites]
"when you die, Nanny, I get your necklace. Right? Right? Right? Don't forget I get that necklace when you die."
Arrrgh, this! Various conversations over the weekend, out of a clear blue sky:
"Grandma, when you die can I have this?" "And this?"
"Mattie wants that when you die."
"I don't want that when you die, give it to someone else."
When they get older, I'm NOT letting them read a certain AskMe thread!
posted by BlueHorse at 9:46 PM on May 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
Arrrgh, this! Various conversations over the weekend, out of a clear blue sky:
"Grandma, when you die can I have this?" "And this?"
"Mattie wants that when you die."
"I don't want that when you die, give it to someone else."
When they get older, I'm NOT letting them read a certain AskMe thread!
posted by BlueHorse at 9:46 PM on May 27, 2013 [1 favorite]
I would like to know more about this nakedness is next to bossliness concept.
posted by sparklemotion at 7:38 AM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by sparklemotion at 7:38 AM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]
Yep. It's creepy. And there needs to be bonus footage of Coco Frances at the end of each episode!
Also: really like those sheets.
posted by amanda at 9:20 AM on May 30, 2013
Also: really like those sheets.
posted by amanda at 9:20 AM on May 30, 2013
« Older You’ve got a billion dollars worth of art sitting... | Adorable children rap about school uniforms Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by brundlefly at 9:25 AM on May 24, 2013 [4 favorites]