"No one should have to use xhamster"
June 19, 2013 6:31 AM Subscribe
I considered adding "scantily-clad women" or "general sexiness" : /
posted by lemuring at 6:38 AM on June 19, 2013
posted by lemuring at 6:38 AM on June 19, 2013
That is some next level self-awareness
posted by NiteMayr at 6:39 AM on June 19, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by NiteMayr at 6:39 AM on June 19, 2013 [5 favorites]
I considered adding "general sexiness"
I don't find McAfee generally sexy.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 6:40 AM on June 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
I don't find McAfee generally sexy.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 6:40 AM on June 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
I don't find McAfee generally sexy.
Then you didn't watch the video.
posted by DU at 6:41 AM on June 19, 2013
Then you didn't watch the video.
posted by DU at 6:41 AM on June 19, 2013
I don't find McAfee generally sexy.
masochist springs to mind.....
posted by asra at 6:42 AM on June 19, 2013
masochist springs to mind.....
posted by asra at 6:42 AM on June 19, 2013
Looks like the rehabilitation of John McAfee's public image is going swimmingly.
posted by R. Schlock at 6:46 AM on June 19, 2013 [8 favorites]
posted by R. Schlock at 6:46 AM on June 19, 2013 [8 favorites]
Marc Maron should interview John McAfee.
posted by zippy at 6:46 AM on June 19, 2013 [12 favorites]
posted by zippy at 6:46 AM on June 19, 2013 [12 favorites]
Then you didn't watch the video.
Apparently you watched a different video than I did.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 6:47 AM on June 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
Apparently you watched a different video than I did.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 6:47 AM on June 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
Pretty funny but begs the question: why exactly did he make this?
posted by Dean358 at 6:48 AM on June 19, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Dean358 at 6:48 AM on June 19, 2013 [3 favorites]
Forget Marina Abramović - I want John McAfee at MoMA with the women, bath salts, weapons and whatevs. Just hours and hours of McAfee doing hard drugs and rambling about bad software and his drug fueled adventures.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 6:50 AM on June 19, 2013 [11 favorites]
posted by Foci for Analysis at 6:50 AM on June 19, 2013 [11 favorites]
This was pretty funny. I guess maybe I shouldn't think it was funny, but I started in tech support in 1998 and I think it's downright hilarious.
posted by PuppyCat at 6:50 AM on June 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by PuppyCat at 6:50 AM on June 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
I've often said that McAfee makes your computer confused and paranoid, just like its namesake. Video is amusing, but do not watch anywhere near HR... this is more than a little NSFW.
posted by randomkeystrike at 6:50 AM on June 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by randomkeystrike at 6:50 AM on June 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
Nice.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 6:53 AM on June 19, 2013
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 6:53 AM on June 19, 2013
I assume he made it to help people uninstall the software that he has more than once says he hates.
posted by DU at 6:54 AM on June 19, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by DU at 6:54 AM on June 19, 2013 [4 favorites]
why exactly did he make this?
"Because he could" springs to mind.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 6:54 AM on June 19, 2013 [13 favorites]
"Because he could" springs to mind.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 6:54 AM on June 19, 2013 [13 favorites]
John McAfee on How to Uninstall McAfee Antivirus
Read that as "John McAin". Now there's a video I'd watch.
posted by blue_beetle at 6:56 AM on June 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
Read that as "John McAin". Now there's a video I'd watch.
posted by blue_beetle at 6:56 AM on June 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
> Pretty funny but begs the question: why exactly did he make this?
I think the idea is that people who google "How to uninstall McAfee Antivirus" will get that video as the first hit and then have quite a confusing experience.
posted by memebake at 6:56 AM on June 19, 2013 [4 favorites]
I think the idea is that people who google "How to uninstall McAfee Antivirus" will get that video as the first hit and then have quite a confusing experience.
posted by memebake at 6:56 AM on June 19, 2013 [4 favorites]
Perhaps he's trying to remake his image as a self-aware Hefner type instead of a deranged hermit and murderer?
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:59 AM on June 19, 2013 [15 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:59 AM on June 19, 2013 [15 favorites]
I find trigger discipline in general to be sexy.
posted by MOWOG at 7:01 AM on June 19, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by MOWOG at 7:01 AM on June 19, 2013 [3 favorites]
Really, there's much more to John McAfee and his legal troubles than can be unpacked in a single sentence, but you get my drift.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:02 AM on June 19, 2013
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:02 AM on June 19, 2013
I haven't been to a McAfee press conference or security talk for a while - which is a jolly good thing - but should the occasion arise, I feel a much greater chance of amusement now exists. Good show, bonkers beard man!
posted by Devonian at 7:10 AM on June 19, 2013
posted by Devonian at 7:10 AM on June 19, 2013
Pretty funny but begs the question: why exactly did he make this?
His biography is coming out. He's got a lot of legal and drug issues that he's been fairly open about. I love how this is his idea of image management.
Interview: John McAfee Answers Your Questions
posted by cjorgensen at 7:14 AM on June 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
His biography is coming out. He's got a lot of legal and drug issues that he's been fairly open about. I love how this is his idea of image management.
Interview: John McAfee Answers Your Questions
posted by cjorgensen at 7:14 AM on June 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
So what is his current status? It seems like he was wanted in Belize for murder, fled to Guatemala, got found out, and was deported to the US. And he's just free now?
posted by smackfu at 7:18 AM on June 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by smackfu at 7:18 AM on June 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
MAAAA-k'fee. Huh. I always thought it was m'KAF-ee. I mean, it doesn't even have an 'a' there.
It's definitely mee-feye, though.
posted by looli at 7:29 AM on June 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
It's definitely mee-feye, though.
posted by looli at 7:29 AM on June 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
There's too much of a danger if Marc Maron was to interview him. Their craggy faces might accidentally interlock and become frozen together. The microscopic folds in their skin would adhear stronger than any glue. Also they both have terrible personalities and wouldn't gel
posted by Napierzaza at 7:30 AM on June 19, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Napierzaza at 7:30 AM on June 19, 2013 [3 favorites]
Hey, xhamster is just fine. PISS OFF!
posted by symbioid at 7:34 AM on June 19, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by symbioid at 7:34 AM on June 19, 2013 [3 favorites]
He should have gotten Peter Norton in on this.
posted by charred husk at 7:47 AM on June 19, 2013
posted by charred husk at 7:47 AM on June 19, 2013
Joe Rogan interviewed him. Effin' hilarious!
posted by sublivious at 7:49 AM on June 19, 2013
posted by sublivious at 7:49 AM on June 19, 2013
I have seen Peter Norton with his sleeves rolled up. That's as close to having him shirtless as I'd be comfortable with, thanks.
posted by flabdablet at 7:50 AM on June 19, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 7:50 AM on June 19, 2013 [4 favorites]
While watching this video it stopped once at forty seconds and wouldn't load further. I was confused, but tried reloading the page - this time it stopped at 1:15, and my computer became strangely unresponsive. Suddenly, a gray outline of a new window popped up over McAfee's face; then it began to fill in and I saw a red shield with an "M". And then the name McAfee.
I ended up having to reboot my computer as it slowly ground to a halt. After rebooting, at the end of my auto-organized desktop icons, there appears to be a newly installed copy of McAfee Antivirus.
I don't know how this happened. I don't think I want to.
But at least now I know what to do next.
posted by 23 at 7:50 AM on June 19, 2013 [6 favorites]
I ended up having to reboot my computer as it slowly ground to a halt. After rebooting, at the end of my auto-organized desktop icons, there appears to be a newly installed copy of McAfee Antivirus.
I don't know how this happened. I don't think I want to.
But at least now I know what to do next.
posted by 23 at 7:50 AM on June 19, 2013 [6 favorites]
Interview: John McAfee Answers Your Questions
A life well lived.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 7:56 AM on June 19, 2013
A life well lived.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 7:56 AM on June 19, 2013
Pretty funny but begs the question: why exactly did he make this?
well duh. for the lulz.
posted by mrgrimm at 7:57 AM on June 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
well duh. for the lulz.
posted by mrgrimm at 7:57 AM on June 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
MAAAA-k'fee. Huh. I always thought it was m'KAF-ee. I mean, it doesn't even have an 'a' there.
It is good to have some evidence that I WAS RIGHT, GERALD! (most people do pronounce with the accent on the first syllable, which I would contend is correct.)
Mc = Mac.
posted by mrgrimm at 8:00 AM on June 19, 2013
It is good to have some evidence that I WAS RIGHT, GERALD! (most people do pronounce with the accent on the first syllable, which I would contend is correct.)
Mc = Mac.
posted by mrgrimm at 8:00 AM on June 19, 2013
IOW, to get the reddit brigades on his side.
If he can assume the mantle of beleaguered tech hero, à la Swartz or Snowdon or even Mitnick, he may think that he can use the popularity to mitigate any legal punishments coming his way. He's a cynical old scoundrel, but with no lack of brass, I'll give him that.
posted by bonehead at 8:03 AM on June 19, 2013
If he can assume the mantle of beleaguered tech hero, à la Swartz or Snowdon or even Mitnick, he may think that he can use the popularity to mitigate any legal punishments coming his way. He's a cynical old scoundrel, but with no lack of brass, I'll give him that.
posted by bonehead at 8:03 AM on June 19, 2013
Is it wrong to wish there was an xhamster video of John McAfee mud wrestling with Kim Dotcom?
posted by flabdablet at 8:11 AM on June 19, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 8:11 AM on June 19, 2013 [4 favorites]
Yes.
posted by symbioid at 8:15 AM on June 19, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by symbioid at 8:15 AM on June 19, 2013 [5 favorites]
Wait, that was really McAfee? I thought it was an actor.
posted by exogenous at 8:45 AM on June 19, 2013
posted by exogenous at 8:45 AM on June 19, 2013
OK, that video was everything Charlie Sheen wanted to be.
posted by Ber at 8:46 AM on June 19, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by Ber at 8:46 AM on June 19, 2013 [4 favorites]
All I'm left with is wondering why he didn't actually shoot the computer at the end?
posted by benito.strauss at 9:12 AM on June 19, 2013
posted by benito.strauss at 9:12 AM on June 19, 2013
Shooting a computer means less money for coke cuz you have to buy a new computer...
posted by symbioid at 9:19 AM on June 19, 2013
posted by symbioid at 9:19 AM on June 19, 2013
Shooting a computer means less money for coke cuz you have to buy a new computer...
Only if it's your computer.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 9:21 AM on June 19, 2013 [3 favorites]
Only if it's your computer.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 9:21 AM on June 19, 2013 [3 favorites]
Is it wrong to wish there was an xhamster video of John McAfee mud wrestling with Kim Dotcom?
I think you already know.
posted by louche mustachio at 9:31 AM on June 19, 2013
I think you already know.
posted by louche mustachio at 9:31 AM on June 19, 2013
But he already threw one computer over his shoulder at the beginning of the video.
posted by benito.strauss at 9:33 AM on June 19, 2013
posted by benito.strauss at 9:33 AM on June 19, 2013
looli: "MAAAA-k'fee. Huh. I always thought it was m'KAF-ee. I mean, it doesn't even have an 'a' there.
It's definitely mee-feye, though."
Nope. It is mee-fi. Stop being wrong in public, please.
posted by Samizdata at 9:53 AM on June 19, 2013
It's definitely mee-feye, though."
Nope. It is mee-fi. Stop being wrong in public, please.
posted by Samizdata at 9:53 AM on June 19, 2013
flabdablet: "Is it wrong to wish there was an xhamster video of John McAfee mud wrestling with Kim Dotcom?"
I am like the most non-judgemental person alive (and who has been to some of the deepest, darkest, dankest pockets of scum the net can offer), and I, for one, must say...
WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!
posted by Samizdata at 10:02 AM on June 19, 2013
I am like the most non-judgemental person alive (and who has been to some of the deepest, darkest, dankest pockets of scum the net can offer), and I, for one, must say...
WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!
posted by Samizdata at 10:02 AM on June 19, 2013
After all that, he could have provided a link to some frickin' instructions!
posted by zachlipton at 11:12 AM on June 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by zachlipton at 11:12 AM on June 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
There are none. The method illustrated in the linked video is the only one known to be reliable.
posted by flabdablet at 11:14 AM on June 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 11:14 AM on June 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!
Oh, OK. I won't do that then.
Just checking.
posted by flabdablet at 11:15 AM on June 19, 2013
Oh, OK. I won't do that then.
Just checking.
posted by flabdablet at 11:15 AM on June 19, 2013
I've found that immersing the computer in holy water does the trick - but be sure that the computer is plugged in and turned on.
posted by wotsac at 12:33 PM on June 19, 2013
posted by wotsac at 12:33 PM on June 19, 2013
flabdablet: "WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!
Oh, OK. I won't do that then.
Just checking."
Good. Because knowledge...
Is half the battle.
posted by Samizdata at 12:34 PM on June 19, 2013
Oh, OK. I won't do that then.
Just checking."
Good. Because knowledge...
Is half the battle.
posted by Samizdata at 12:34 PM on June 19, 2013
Is it wrong to wish there was an xhamster video of John McAfee mud wrestling with Kim Dotcom?
Kim Dotcom is preoccupied at the moment.
posted by homunculus at 1:37 PM on June 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
Kim Dotcom is preoccupied at the moment.
posted by homunculus at 1:37 PM on June 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
Kim Dotcom is preoccupied at the moment.
Megaupload is his old thing that got shut down. His new thing is mega.co.nz
posted by delmoi at 3:52 PM on June 19, 2013
Megaupload is his old thing that got shut down. His new thing is mega.co.nz
posted by delmoi at 3:52 PM on June 19, 2013
mega.co.nz
It's like he's daring us to not read it as "megacons".
posted by benito.strauss at 4:52 PM on June 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
It's like he's daring us to not read it as "megacons".
posted by benito.strauss at 4:52 PM on June 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
I had gotten really tired of ol' stuffmonger's schtick there for a while, but this made me kinda like him again.
Which I guess was the objective. Ah well. I do love a rogue with a sense of humour.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:21 PM on June 19, 2013
Which I guess was the objective. Ah well. I do love a rogue with a sense of humour.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:21 PM on June 19, 2013
Uhm, likeable con artists as most excellent salesman often are, but guess when one scratches the paint there might be a whole lot of fuming shit under.
posted by elpapacito at 8:09 AM on June 20, 2013
posted by elpapacito at 8:09 AM on June 20, 2013
Pretty funny but begs the question: why exactly did he make this?
posted by Dean358 at 6:48 AM on June 19 [3 favorites +] [!]
Not getting enough attention except from legal types?
posted by Cranberry at 1:31 PM on June 20, 2013
posted by Dean358 at 6:48 AM on June 19 [3 favorites +] [!]
Not getting enough attention except from legal types?
posted by Cranberry at 1:31 PM on June 20, 2013
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posted by DU at 6:36 AM on June 19, 2013 [3 favorites]