Grenades, Bayonets, and Tasers. Oh My!
July 3, 2013 7:05 PM Subscribe
The TSA has started an Instagram page showing confiscated items from TSA checkpoints in airports around the country.
We need a counter-Tumblr showing all the laptops stolen by TSA baggage screeners in the past 12 years.
posted by Nelson at 7:10 PM on July 3, 2013 [19 favorites]
posted by Nelson at 7:10 PM on July 3, 2013 [19 favorites]
Pictures of guns with fake old-camera filters on them. Absolutely what the internet needed.
posted by DoctorFedora at 7:11 PM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by DoctorFedora at 7:11 PM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]
Of course they won't post all the innocuous stuff that they rip off. After a house project I had a box of short stainless steel screws left over that I gave my brother, which they confiscated. Motherfucking police state.
posted by exogenous at 7:12 PM on July 3, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by exogenous at 7:12 PM on July 3, 2013 [3 favorites]
They should post a picture of the look on the Providence TSA guy's face when he realised that me opting out was going to entail him putting his hands within, oh, three feet of another man's genitals. Because, really, it gives me such confidence in their ability to search people.
posted by hoyland at 7:18 PM on July 3, 2013
posted by hoyland at 7:18 PM on July 3, 2013
#Jesus #Christ #the #hashtags.
posted by stltony at 7:20 PM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by stltony at 7:20 PM on July 3, 2013 [2 favorites]
I don't see the pictures of our civil rights or our dignity.
posted by stevis23 at 7:29 PM on July 3, 2013 [17 favorites]
posted by stevis23 at 7:29 PM on July 3, 2013 [17 favorites]
Dignity's actually not visible anywhere on Instagram.
posted by Apropos of Something at 7:30 PM on July 3, 2013 [29 favorites]
posted by Apropos of Something at 7:30 PM on July 3, 2013 [29 favorites]
Not pictured: a huge pile of toothpaste with the caption "what's the difference between an ounce and a fluid ounce? Ten years later, we still don't know."
posted by RogerB at 7:35 PM on July 3, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by RogerB at 7:35 PM on July 3, 2013 [4 favorites]
This just seems really obnoxious. "HEY LOOKIT WE R COMPATANT LOL" Like an annoying idiot at your high school summer job who, one time, did one thing right and then felt the need to lord it over you the rest of the summer.
posted by bleep at 7:49 PM on July 3, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by bleep at 7:49 PM on July 3, 2013 [3 favorites]
me opting out was going to entail him putting his hands within, oh, three feet of another man's genitals
I opt out all the time precisely because it makes them really uncomfortable. Thus far none of them have tried the shitty "YOU'RE HOLDING UP THE LINE YOU KNOW" shaming tactic but I look forward to the day that they do because my response will be the cabbage patch.
posted by elizardbits at 8:02 PM on July 3, 2013 [4 favorites]
I opt out all the time precisely because it makes them really uncomfortable. Thus far none of them have tried the shitty "YOU'RE HOLDING UP THE LINE YOU KNOW" shaming tactic but I look forward to the day that they do because my response will be the cabbage patch.
posted by elizardbits at 8:02 PM on July 3, 2013 [4 favorites]
I've been carrying this not-exactly-a-badboy on planes with me for years.
Who wants a piece? Do you want some of this? I'm gonna grab some Godiva in the luggage shop.
posted by four panels at 8:08 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]
Who wants a piece? Do you want some of this? I'm gonna grab some Godiva in the luggage shop.
posted by four panels at 8:08 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]
[Kirk and Luanne's turn at Pictionary]
Kirk: Ah, come on Luanne, you know what this is.
Luanne: Kirk, I don't know what it is.
Kirk: [sighs] It could not be more simple, Luanne. You want me to show this to the cat, and have the cat tell you what it is? 'Cause the cat's going to get it.
Luanne: I'm sorry, I'm not as smart as you, Kirk. We didn't all go to Gudger College.
[the timer dings]
Kirk: It's dignity! Gah! Don't you even know dignity when you see it?
posted by Teakettle at 8:13 PM on July 3, 2013
Kirk: Ah, come on Luanne, you know what this is.
Luanne: Kirk, I don't know what it is.
Kirk: [sighs] It could not be more simple, Luanne. You want me to show this to the cat, and have the cat tell you what it is? 'Cause the cat's going to get it.
Luanne: I'm sorry, I'm not as smart as you, Kirk. We didn't all go to Gudger College.
[the timer dings]
Kirk: It's dignity! Gah! Don't you even know dignity when you see it?
posted by Teakettle at 8:13 PM on July 3, 2013
They should post a picture of the look on the Providence TSA guy's face when he realised that me opting out was going to entail him putting his hands within, oh, three feet of another man's genitals. Because, really, it gives me such confidence in their ability to search people.
So, uh, every time I fly, friends tell me that the RapiScan machines have been removed from Airport X, for some value of X (BWI, Reagan National, SFO, LAX, etc.). They're still there. I opt out every time, because there's nothing as relaxing as a short pre-flight massage. The patdowns are quick, gentle, attentive, and professional. Maybe a little sensuous. I've actually grown to enjoy them.
posted by Nomyte at 8:25 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]
So, uh, every time I fly, friends tell me that the RapiScan machines have been removed from Airport X, for some value of X (BWI, Reagan National, SFO, LAX, etc.). They're still there. I opt out every time, because there's nothing as relaxing as a short pre-flight massage. The patdowns are quick, gentle, attentive, and professional. Maybe a little sensuous. I've actually grown to enjoy them.
posted by Nomyte at 8:25 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]
This makes the TSA so much more approachable and less like incompetent jobsworths. /sarcasm
posted by arcticseal at 8:39 PM on July 3, 2013
posted by arcticseal at 8:39 PM on July 3, 2013
If this were an accurate depiction of what is confiscated (rather than just a fearmongering justification for their security theatre), there would be a lot more shit-filter photos of nail clippers.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:46 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Sys Rq at 8:46 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]
I really wish they'd focus one their core competency, fondling old ladies and teaching children that people in uniform can touch them anywhere they want.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 9:03 PM on July 3, 2013 [8 favorites]
posted by Confess, Fletch at 9:03 PM on July 3, 2013 [8 favorites]
Well, it's about time the police state has given us some LOLs.
Also, a stun gun disguised as a pack of cigarettes, that is chilling. Strong work, TSA. A suitcase full of fireworks, man that is cold blooded. You just, like, ruined 3 13 year olds July 4th. I suppose you poured out their Mike's Hard Lemonade a well.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:23 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]
Also, a stun gun disguised as a pack of cigarettes, that is chilling. Strong work, TSA. A suitcase full of fireworks, man that is cold blooded. You just, like, ruined 3 13 year olds July 4th. I suppose you poured out their Mike's Hard Lemonade a well.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:23 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]
There's a blogger who catalogs the litany of (mostly loaded) firearms that people try to bring through security. Some cities have like 4 dozen attempts already this year.
It won't work, though. Dan Cooper might have gotten away with it on that flight from Seattle, but things have changed since then.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 9:33 PM on July 3, 2013
It won't work, though. Dan Cooper might have gotten away with it on that flight from Seattle, but things have changed since then.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 9:33 PM on July 3, 2013
Nomyte: "They're still there. I opt out every time, because there's nothing as relaxing as a short pre-flight massage. The patdowns are quick, gentle, attentive, and professional. Maybe a little sensuous. I've actually grown to enjoy them."
Yes, I enjoy the rub down, and they have yet to actually make it to my scrotum, so it's not at all uncomfortable for me. It is a little bizarre when they scratch my head (presumably to make sure I'm not hiding a shiv in my hair), but still a somehow pleasant. They do need to work on finding more people who actually enjoy the job, though. There's nothing less relaxing than a tense masseur. And maybe they could do something about the lines..
posted by wierdo at 9:36 PM on July 3, 2013
Yes, I enjoy the rub down, and they have yet to actually make it to my scrotum, so it's not at all uncomfortable for me. It is a little bizarre when they scratch my head (presumably to make sure I'm not hiding a shiv in my hair), but still a somehow pleasant. They do need to work on finding more people who actually enjoy the job, though. There's nothing less relaxing than a tense masseur. And maybe they could do something about the lines..
posted by wierdo at 9:36 PM on July 3, 2013
Air Passengers Are Trying To Board Planes With Loaded Guns More Often
posted by mokin at 10:03 PM on July 3, 2013
posted by mokin at 10:03 PM on July 3, 2013
Meanwhile I can't bring my bottle of water on the plane. Should I take an instagram of that?
posted by not_on_display at 10:08 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by not_on_display at 10:08 PM on July 3, 2013 [1 favorite]
Never thought I'd hear the phrase "The TSA has started an Instagram page."
I'm getting old.
posted by Autumn at 12:03 AM on July 4, 2013
I'm getting old.
posted by Autumn at 12:03 AM on July 4, 2013
Messing with the Man in the security line is child's play for a revolutionary like me. Don't buckle your seat belt when the flight attendant tells you to, then we can talk.
posted by Brocktoon at 12:18 AM on July 4, 2013
posted by Brocktoon at 12:18 AM on July 4, 2013
Why would I want to look at pictures of toothpaste and soap all day? Oh. I get it. They're pretending they keep us safe. Why, that's... cute. That's actually cute.
posted by DecemberBoy at 2:48 AM on July 4, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by DecemberBoy at 2:48 AM on July 4, 2013 [2 favorites]
I really hope the NSA gets on Instagram too. It would be great if we could get some printscreens of the sms's sent by Angela Merkel or David Cameron. Maybe they're into sexting.
posted by huguini at 3:25 AM on July 4, 2013
posted by huguini at 3:25 AM on July 4, 2013
It's not on instagram, but Australian Customs have been doing this for years. It's a show of force, of course.
posted by goo at 4:12 AM on July 4, 2013
posted by goo at 4:12 AM on July 4, 2013
tsablogteam asleep at the keyboard, you ain't going to get any likes this way.
Not one 4 panel, not one "hey girls, did you know...", not one "bitch I might be", not even a simple confession cat. In fact no memes at all. It is like they don't even know they are on the Internet.
People don't even talk like that anymore
Come on blog team. Caption our pictures something like "DAE 90s kid le gun", Or "pew pew", and it would help if you added kittens.
posted by Ad hominem at 5:18 AM on July 4, 2013
Not one 4 panel, not one "hey girls, did you know...", not one "bitch I might be", not even a simple confession cat. In fact no memes at all. It is like they don't even know they are on the Internet.
People don't even talk like that anymore
Come on blog team. Caption our pictures something like "DAE 90s kid le gun", Or "pew pew", and it would help if you added kittens.
posted by Ad hominem at 5:18 AM on July 4, 2013
Back in '06, on a stop-over in Atlanta from Rio, they made me check my two bottles of duty-free cachaça. Only one survived. I will never forget.
At least I know a TSAgent didn't get to drink it.
posted by Kabanos at 10:26 AM on July 4, 2013
At least I know a TSAgent didn't get to drink it.
posted by Kabanos at 10:26 AM on July 4, 2013
For me, I opt out of the backscatter x-ray detectors because I'm not really convinced I'm smarter than the biophysicists who are a bit uncomfortable with the devices. I wonder when we'll catch up with Germany and Italy and get rid of them on the grounds that they're ineffective and inconvenient.
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:19 AM on July 4, 2013
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:19 AM on July 4, 2013
Airports: one of the few places left in the USA where the people around you aren't carrying loaded guns.
posted by crayz at 8:45 PM on July 4, 2013
posted by crayz at 8:45 PM on July 4, 2013
Airports: one of the few places left in the USA where the people around you aren't carrying loaded guns.
They heavily arm the police to bring the average back up.
posted by jaduncan at 6:45 AM on July 5, 2013
They heavily arm the police to bring the average back up.
posted by jaduncan at 6:45 AM on July 5, 2013
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posted by eyeballkid at 7:08 PM on July 3, 2013