Grandma's pissed 'cause Hallmark's kiss-kiss boy bears won't kiss.
December 8, 2001 1:54 PM   Subscribe

Why doesn't grandma just get out her needle and thread and flip the stupid magnet?
posted by thirteen at 2:13 PM on December 8, 2001

I see a potential marketing opportunity for gay kiss kiss bears.
posted by atom128 at 2:14 PM on December 8, 2001

Yet another instance in which societal norms find their way to propagate themselves in our products and our culture.
posted by Hammerikaner at 2:30 PM on December 8, 2001

What is Hallmark supposed to do? Make positive and negative versions of both sexes, and expect people to make sure they pick out one of each in the sexes they desire? Seems that it has less to do with societal norms and more to do with basic magnetic properties.
posted by crawl at 2:35 PM on December 8, 2001

Why they just don't sell the boy and girl bears together, thus eliminating the confusion...
posted by harrycaul at 2:43 PM on December 8, 2001

Both magnets and Velcro required for boy-girl kiss-kissing--that's unnatural!
posted by Carol Anne at 2:56 PM on December 8, 2001

Since I don't think these are really 'childrens' toys, but rather novelties, why can't Hallmark make the magnets something that slides in, and package the magnets in a seperate small plastic bag. Then people simply slide the magnets in as appropriate.
posted by benjh at 4:37 PM on December 8, 2001

I agree with Crawl. Thirteen: I'd think Gran is doing this as a matter of principle. Nice sentiment, but there is a real, practical purpose for the magnet setup.
Benjh: From a marketing perspective, that's a ridiculous thing to make a customer do.
posted by Su at 5:07 PM on December 8, 2001

Another thing Hallmark could do would be to put pins at their mouths and just have them poke each others stuffing. That way they could kiss in other areas...

But this would probably tear up their precious kiss-kiss bears and could get kind of messy. (i.e. Bloody)
posted by jacobw at 7:46 PM on December 8, 2001

That's kinky, jacobw.

p.s. I think these sort of writing experiments generally are done with the intention of getting a snarky column out of it. I wouldn't take this too seriously. Somehow I doubt grandma's actually "pissed."
posted by kevspace at 7:56 PM on December 8, 2001

Hallmark should have stated that the 'Girl' bear need not be regarded as a 'female' but just a more flamboyant male dressed in drag for the pride parade, and that she could safely assume that she should return either of the socially oppressive attire wearing 'males' for a more free-thinking and tolerant 'feminine-side accessing' male bear and be assured of kissing compatability.
posted by HTuttle at 11:25 PM on December 8, 2001

How lame.

Anyway, it isn't 'positive and negative' but north and south. And hallmark could have had the bears kiss by having the north and south side facing the front, so that same-sex bears would have kissed off center(or normally, if they had been upside down relative to each other), if they had actually cared, witch I doubt they did.
posted by delmoi at 12:56 AM on December 9, 2001

The headline should be changed to more accurately reflect the content of the article, i.e. "Advocate Editors Can't Find Any Actual News Pertinent to Gay and Lesbian Culture, Fabricate Discrimination Case".

Additional questions that don't need to be asked: Why aren't the bears black? Or overweight? Or disabled? I want a fat, black, gay teddy bear in a wheelchair. ACCOMODATE ME OR BE LABELED DISCRIMINATORY, HALLMARK!
posted by Danelope at 1:56 AM on December 9, 2001

Actually, there should be teddy bears for different races, sexual orientation, and disabilities. What a great idea!
posted by jacobw at 7:31 AM on December 9, 2001

Why don't they put magnets on the bears' buttcheeks so they can kiss each other's asses?
posted by ZachsMind at 8:22 AM on December 9, 2001

ZachsMind---that made me laugh more than it should have.
posted by adrober at 9:10 AM on December 9, 2001

When the bears were available at Valentine's day this year, there was an entire bin of "gay" bears at one store...

Oddly enough, a "gay" boy and a "gay" girl kissed.
posted by dwivian at 1:35 PM on December 10, 2001

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