The Thin Orange Line
August 14, 2013 1:32 PM   Subscribe

Following last November's passage of Initiative 502, which legalized personal possession of up to an ounce of marijuana, the Seattle Police Department has confirmed via their Twitter account that they will be giving away Doritos at this year's Seattle Hempfest, along with information about citizens' rights and responsibilities as granted by the new law.
posted by KathrynT (42 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite
 
Sensible laws allow police officers to behave like public servants, citizens and human beings. Nice.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 1:36 PM on August 14, 2013 [30 favorites]


God the cops in Seattle are being cool about this. See also this AMA.
posted by Aizkolari at 1:40 PM on August 14, 2013


jsut loosks like more chance for Dorite pRoblem
posted by Greg Nog at 1:41 PM on August 14, 2013 [5 favorites]


Surely this is an article from the Onion?
posted by Brocktoon at 1:43 PM on August 14, 2013


What is with this discrimination against people whose preferred munchies are sweet rather than savory? Who do I sue?!
posted by rtha at 1:44 PM on August 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


Cops are tired of enforcing bullshit laws too.
posted by 2bucksplus at 1:49 PM on August 14, 2013 [6 favorites]


I'm sick of the junk food and stoner stereotype anyway. It's obviously one with some truth behind it, but the munchies can also help you eat healthier. They make every sort of food a more intense and enjoyable taste experience. Make some nice healthy snacks to give out. Junk food can be really dangerous after all, and the police should help advise the public against putting dangerous substances in their body.
posted by Drinky Die at 1:49 PM on August 14, 2013 [6 favorites]


Junk food can be really dangerous after all, and the police should help advise the public against putting dangerous substances in their body.

"Now we see the violence inherent in the system!"
posted by yoink at 1:52 PM on August 14, 2013 [30 favorites]


So the Doritos will be radio-tagged somehow so that the police can follow them back to their homes for later head-cracking? Will the people receiving the Doritos be photographed and presented as potential perpetrators to crime victims? Are they going to collect DNA and fingerprints from the bags after they are thrown away? Is this like the thing where they call someone who has an arrest warrant to tell them that they've won a free boat?

This is confusing.
posted by double block and bleed at 1:52 PM on August 14, 2013 [3 favorites]




I love living in Seattle.
posted by joan_holloway at 1:54 PM on August 14, 2013 [4 favorites]


The cops are being cool, yes. Kind of hacky? That too.
posted by Apropos of Something at 1:54 PM on August 14, 2013


I'm sick of the junk food and stoner stereotype anyway. It's obviously one with some truth behind it, but the munchies can also help you eat healthier. They make every sort of food a more intense and enjoyable taste experience. Make some nice healthy snacks to give out. Junk food can be really dangerous after all, and the police should help advise the public against putting dangerous substances in their body.

I think average people accept the idea of personal responsibility and are adult enough to choose whether or not to accept the Doritos. We don't have to "police" every little thing in society.

It seems like a nice gesture on the part of the police.

But, then again, perhaps you are joking?
posted by KokuRyu at 1:57 PM on August 14, 2013 [3 favorites]


find me a person who can resist an offered Dorite and I will find you a Cylon.
posted by The Whelk at 2:01 PM on August 14, 2013 [5 favorites]


The cops in Seattle have a much bigger problem with public image and conduct regarding unnecessary use of force.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 2:03 PM on August 14, 2013 [6 favorites]


Damnit Seattle, if you weren't so rainy and cold I'd still live there.
posted by photoslob at 2:13 PM on August 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


The cops are being cool, yes. Kind of hacky? That too.

Officer Mustache: "Wassup, youths! Any of you grungers like — [makes puff, puff gesture] — smokin' some doobies?"
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:16 PM on August 14, 2013 [5 favorites]


Reading down that spdblotter page is sort of: funny, good, straightforward, reasonable, OMG STONED GANDALF HUMOUR BOMB

I laughed immoderately.
posted by Sebmojo at 2:19 PM on August 14, 2013


dammit, now i want some doritos
posted by bitteroldman at 2:21 PM on August 14, 2013


I am so happy with how the SPD is handling legalization.
posted by egypturnash at 2:22 PM on August 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


"The brown Doritos that are circulating around us are not specifically too good. Uh, it's suggested that you do stay away from them."
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:35 PM on August 14, 2013 [6 favorites]


The SPD Twitter feed is awesome!

@emeraldcitycon @geekyrob Always secure your Ultimate Nullifier when carrying it in public.
8:33pm - 13 Aug 13

posted by brain_drain at 2:59 PM on August 14, 2013


What is with this discrimination against people whose preferred munchies are sweet rather than savory?

I feel reasonably confident there will be brownies available
posted by Hoopo at 3:12 PM on August 14, 2013




The department expects to give out just 1,000 bags of chips, Whitcomb said.

That’s likely to lead to to some “Dude, where’s my Doritos?” queries from the 250,000 folks expected to attend the three-day pro-pot event.

posted by porn in the woods at 3:52 PM on August 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


Stop and Feed?
posted by pernoctalian at 4:52 PM on August 14, 2013 [2 favorites]


Love the free promotion for Pepsico/Frito-Lay. Are they going to be giving out cans of Mountain Dew at a black hat hackers' convention?


Cops are tired of enforcing bullshit laws too.

Not those who realize that without bullshit laws, a lot of them would be out of work and somewhat unemployable (at least at Police Union payscales).
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:32 PM on August 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


What's all this meow?
posted by GoingToShopping at 6:29 PM on August 14, 2013 [8 favorites]


I wish the police in Berkeley would tell people they can't light up in the middle of a packed 4th of July fireworks show
posted by mulligan at 6:31 PM on August 14, 2013


Meanwhile here in the GTA, York region cops just got a guy fired for tweeting in search of a joint.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 6:32 PM on August 14, 2013


What is with the unapologetic Bugles bashing?
posted by chemoboy at 6:45 PM on August 14, 2013


cops in Seattle have a much bigger problem with public image and conduct regarding unnecessary use of force.
Yeah.
posted by sweetkid at 7:04 PM on August 14, 2013


I grew up in Seattle and I remember going to a "marijuana smoke-in" at Volunteer park one hot summer afternoon in August of maybe '79. There were bands, there were cops, there was a Jolly Joe selling popsicles like they were life jackets on the Titanic.

My best friend growing up became a cop. He was, along with me, a huge stoner. Only his dad smoked more. I've also known more than a few cops as a result of coincidence and running our day care back in the day. Every single one has said that they would be fine if marijuana were legal [no driving though, which I agree with].

Asset forfeiture laws, the prison industrial complex and that you are de facto a criminal which places you in a position for money to be made are what drive these laws. [Nothing new here I know]

It's anecdata of course but none of my cop friends care in the slightest about weed. Alcohol and guns or alcohol and cars or alchool and meth or alcohol and domestic violence along with undiagnosed and untreated mentally ill people are where they spend their working hours

So congratulations to the SPD.

Bring a dd or change for ORCA and money for popsicles.
posted by vapidave at 7:33 PM on August 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh, sweetkid, the WTO protests are old news. 2010 was a bad year (timeline), and in 2012 the US DoJ found that SPD had a pattern of excessive force.

Here's hoping those officers can refrain from improvising weapons out of snack foods.
posted by gingerest at 8:01 PM on August 14, 2013 [2 favorites]


yea that too.
posted by sweetkid at 8:16 PM on August 14, 2013


The SPD
Unneccessarily,
Although inhalarialy
Forced me to eat a Dorite.
CHIPS on the street,
Bag me and tag me
For a treat,
But d00d, not to be rude
I could go for something sweet
And thìs dry mouth is a killer,
Sparky.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:34 PM on August 14, 2013 [1 favorite]


Occupy mah belly!
posted by phaedon at 11:06 PM on August 14, 2013


Here's a wonderful story, coming from amazing times where things are changing in favor of reason. The powers that be are proceeding in a cogent manner and the cops are embracing it all.

.... and people still shit on them.

That's just great.

"Here's some free money"

".... These bills are all wrinkly...."
posted by humboldt32 at 1:35 AM on August 15, 2013 [3 favorites]


find me a person who can resist an offered Dorite and I will find you a Cylon.

find me a person who can resist an offered Dorito and I'll find you someone who has access to Kukure Masala Munch. ZOMG so good.
posted by juv3nal at 3:19 AM on August 15, 2013


Are they Cool Ranch flavor Doritos?
posted by bukvich at 6:12 AM on August 15, 2013


.... and people still shit on them.

It is possible, as a resident of this city, to appreciate that the cops are taking a lax stance against hassling people for smoking a product that we voted into legalization last November, and yet to still not exactly be pleased about the department's consistent use of excessive force. That's not "shitting" on them. That's wanting them to stop shitting on us.
posted by palomar at 7:22 AM on August 15, 2013 [5 favorites]


Speaking of hempfest, a couple funny things happened there and in relation to this chip bag publicity stunt:

First, a guy was selling the chip bags on ebay for $35. If you look, people were actually bidding too. I wish some of my broke unemployed/underemployed friends had come up with this clever idea rather than whoever the hell did it. Good on them either way though, just like the people who resell convention swag. Fuck the system, turn free shit into cash.

Secondly, a guy was kicked out for trying to roll the worlds largest joint. This would sound normal except the cops didn't care, even when he told them directly what he was trying to do. Security kicked him out, which would also make this a non story except for well... just read it. The battle of manchild sword-cocking between the two of them is like a small scale version of that pandodaily/crosscampus silicon valley cockfight that spawned an FPP. Seriously, there's so much epic chimp-like hootling and "do you know who I AM!?!" kinda posturing in there that it's nearly awe inspiring.

As a side note and getting a bit more personal, the line in that article that stood out to me was this:
Lead security staff from Seattle Hempfest—who were provided with actual metal badges this year—walked backwards in front of the would-be joint roller for much of the park, criticizing him for crashing their Hempfest with unauthorized pot smoking, and occasionally running into other pedestrians.
It's like that whole "stick around long enough and you'll become what you hate" thing. Doesn't that sound exactly like something you'd imagine the cops doing in a sort of average "you're in an american city, this is the setup, how would you imagine the cops acting?" kinda way? I also think it's freaking bizarre that they gave them metal badges and encouraged them to act like shitty mall rent-a-cops in this manner.

Like, i remember hempfest as somewhere i'd go in highschool to get really fucking baked and have some completely harmless fun with my friends. One time we brought a 7 foot bong and old guys dressed up in victorian, silly, almost willy wonka outfits produced a GIANT fresnel lens and lit the thing on the beach using sunlight. Another time a friend got a job at a burrito booth and we stuffed our faces. All i think of when i think of hempfest is silly stuff like that. Maybe some terrible stereotypical stoner music, bad tshirt booths, and jugallos... but still, the whole damn thing was totally harmless. I even used to be friends with someone who had a parent involved in the operations of the whole thing and i always imagined(and experienced) the security there to be more on the side of "oh shit man, that's fucking HILARIOUS, can i get a picture next to it?".

SPD sucks donkey balls, even the federal government thinks so to the point that the DOJ is currently running them in some capacity because they couldn't handle their shit. I've personally experienced them being bizarre assholes, and specifically being the dicks who escalate or instigate situations in to sucking(and possibly even in a violent manner, definitely seen that) or just generally shit on fun for no reason other than seemingly to assert their dominance like grade school bullies. Any situation in which they come out looking like the good guys with somewhat of a sense of humor(both on the chip bag front and in handling this), and the hempfest staff comes out looking like well... cops, is something straight out of a bizarroland fictitious story.

Oh wait, kinda like the weird scenario they cooked up last year.

The whole thing kinda seems like the people involved in running it have become too obsessed with like, for lack of a less snarky term, "their personal brand". But they focus on stuff like this instead of dealing with some of the truly embarrassing bad stoner stereotype stuff that goes on there in general which they have full control over. There's stuff ranging from eye roll to properly tasteless in a lot of the booths there. If they want to be taken seriously, there's a lot more low hanging fruit to chop off than this dude. I doubt this would have gotten much attention beyond a few of that guys twitter followers unless he had succeeded. And even then, it would have just been a bunch of the same tired cranks who always poop on the festival whining about it. I could honestly see it getting more attention now that they did this than if he had gone through with it and found 1000 people. A bit of a Streisand effect.
posted by emptythought at 1:11 AM on August 19, 2013


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