Sell, Mortimer, Sell!
August 31, 2013 6:20 AM Subscribe
Once you understand why, you'll have a better understanding of why BuzzFeed's GIF listicles aren't destroying American journalism.
#slatepitches
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:34 AM on August 31, 2013 [5 favorites]
#slatepitches
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:34 AM on August 31, 2013 [5 favorites]
Fair enough. But I would still like a TV channel that plays music videos, one that only shows old movies, and actual history on a history channel; none of which I can get today on cable.
posted by blue_beetle at 6:35 AM on August 31, 2013 [43 favorites]
posted by blue_beetle at 6:35 AM on August 31, 2013 [43 favorites]
+1 for the Trading Places reference.
posted by grimmelm at 6:36 AM on August 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by grimmelm at 6:36 AM on August 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
Fair enough. But I would still like a TV channel that plays music videos, one that only shows old movies, and actual history on a history channel; none of which I can get today on cable.
I'm getting these from my local PBS channels - The main pbs channel plays classic movies a couple times a week (introduced by the university film school students), has History Detectives and American Experience for history. Cooking and craft shows on the second channel (Create) and foreign news, music videos (Strictly Global) and international mysteries (Il Commissario Montalbano!) on the third channel (MHz World). Cut the cable and get an antenna.
posted by 445supermag at 6:56 AM on August 31, 2013 [5 favorites]
I'm getting these from my local PBS channels - The main pbs channel plays classic movies a couple times a week (introduced by the university film school students), has History Detectives and American Experience for history. Cooking and craft shows on the second channel (Create) and foreign news, music videos (Strictly Global) and international mysteries (Il Commissario Montalbano!) on the third channel (MHz World). Cut the cable and get an antenna.
posted by 445supermag at 6:56 AM on August 31, 2013 [5 favorites]
@blue_beetle, VH1 Classic shows a lot of videos and concerts, some movies but they usually have some sort of music connection. Old movies, you gotta go to TCM. Last night had Kirk Douglas in Lust for Life.
posted by Ber at 6:58 AM on August 31, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Ber at 6:58 AM on August 31, 2013 [2 favorites]
A fairly lazy article, but hey, Slate, about something everybody already knew why it was happening, which actually completely avoids the real reason MTV doesn't show music videos, that it's too difficult to get ad revenue from them.
posted by MartinWisse at 6:59 AM on August 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by MartinWisse at 6:59 AM on August 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
Why it's awesome that SyFy shows mainly wrestling...
posted by Artw at 7:05 AM on August 31, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Artw at 7:05 AM on August 31, 2013 [2 favorites]
But I would still like a TV channel that plays music videos, one that only shows old movies, and actual history on a history channel
I commiserate on the videos and history bits. Unless you pay extra for a premium cable tier, neither of those are available. However, TCM is usually part of a basic tier package, and they do a great job of showing old movies.
Cut the cable and get an antenna.
Your mileage definitely varies. My main PBS station never, ever, ever, ever shows movies. And it seems to pull the lightest possible fare from the PBS offerings. Their D2 channel is also Create, which is ok, but one can take just so many cooking and travel shows. The D3 channel is one of the worst weather radars ever seen.
Why it's awesome that SyFy shows mainly wrestling...
While I loathe that SyFy shows any wrestling, I'd hardly call two hours on a Friday night "mainly". Stlll, I'd like it to go. Soon. And take Sharknado with it.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:25 AM on August 31, 2013
I commiserate on the videos and history bits. Unless you pay extra for a premium cable tier, neither of those are available. However, TCM is usually part of a basic tier package, and they do a great job of showing old movies.
Cut the cable and get an antenna.
Your mileage definitely varies. My main PBS station never, ever, ever, ever shows movies. And it seems to pull the lightest possible fare from the PBS offerings. Their D2 channel is also Create, which is ok, but one can take just so many cooking and travel shows. The D3 channel is one of the worst weather radars ever seen.
Why it's awesome that SyFy shows mainly wrestling...
While I loathe that SyFy shows any wrestling, I'd hardly call two hours on a Friday night "mainly". Stlll, I'd like it to go. Soon. And take Sharknado with it.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:25 AM on August 31, 2013
We get a couple of MTV channels that still shows music videos a lot of the time.
posted by octothorpe at 7:30 AM on August 31, 2013
posted by octothorpe at 7:30 AM on August 31, 2013
I knew it! They're not trying to promote art and music at all, they're just trying to make money!
Well done, Slate, you muckrakers.
posted by General Tonic at 7:33 AM on August 31, 2013 [6 favorites]
Well done, Slate, you muckrakers.
posted by General Tonic at 7:33 AM on August 31, 2013 [6 favorites]
Why Star Trek Marathons on BBC America totally make sense...
posted by Artw at 7:41 AM on August 31, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by Artw at 7:41 AM on August 31, 2013 [6 favorites]
ESPN is probably the only channel that could air nearly whatever they want without running afoul of their "mission" as the E just stood for Entertainment.
posted by drezdn at 7:44 AM on August 31, 2013
posted by drezdn at 7:44 AM on August 31, 2013
If you insist on continuing to fill your network with easily replicable commodity content, you'll end up facing ruinous competition.
1. What "runious competition" did MTV face? VH1? Same company. YouTube would qualify, if only MTV hadn't forgotten what the M stood for long before YouTube ever existed.
2. You know what's proven to be extremely replicable? Reality shows.
Networks Specialty cable channels being "smart" like this has resulted in all of them becoming virtually indistinguishable. Bravo, MTV. Bravo, TLC. Bravo, Bravo.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:46 AM on August 31, 2013 [7 favorites]
1. What "runious competition" did MTV face? VH1? Same company. YouTube would qualify, if only MTV hadn't forgotten what the M stood for long before YouTube ever existed.
2. You know what's proven to be extremely replicable? Reality shows.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:46 AM on August 31, 2013 [7 favorites]
I still really miss Today's Papers. That was a brilliant service.
posted by srboisvert at 7:47 AM on August 31, 2013
posted by srboisvert at 7:47 AM on August 31, 2013
Why it's awesome that SyFy shows mainly wrestling...
On the other hand, The Wrassling and Ghost Hunting pays forBSG er... Orphan Black no wait, Continuum.... SHARKNADO!
And, to be fair, SyFy (ugh) seems to be greenlighting some promising stuff in the future.
posted by Mezentian at 7:49 AM on August 31, 2013 [2 favorites]
On the other hand, The Wrassling and Ghost Hunting pays for
And, to be fair, SyFy (ugh) seems to be greenlighting some promising stuff in the future.
posted by Mezentian at 7:49 AM on August 31, 2013 [2 favorites]
God bless our all premium channel and digital service future, I guess.
posted by Artw at 7:57 AM on August 31, 2013
posted by Artw at 7:57 AM on August 31, 2013
Do you believe in the Westworld, Artw?
Coming soon from Syfy, among Haunted Mine and Ghost Highway, are some interesting things I can't find links for. It's promising.
posted by Mezentian at 8:12 AM on August 31, 2013
Coming soon from Syfy, among Haunted Mine and Ghost Highway, are some interesting things I can't find links for. It's promising.
posted by Mezentian at 8:12 AM on August 31, 2013
What "runious competition" did MTV face?
Night Flight on USA, for other olds who remember that?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:14 AM on August 31, 2013 [11 favorites]
Night Flight on USA, for other olds who remember that?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:14 AM on August 31, 2013 [11 favorites]
Coming soon from Syfy, among Haunted Mine and Ghost Highway, are some interesting things I can't find links for.
It's mostly in development hell rather than anything firm, but a press release from April says that Syfy is working on
A Ringworld miniseries
A Childhood's End miniseries
A Man in the High Castle miniseries or movie
A Jamie Foxx horror anthology series
Helix from Ronald Moore, something about killer viruses or whatever. Actually being made.
Dominion from someone affiliated with Sons of Anarchy, which is a series adaptation of the execrable _Legion_. Has a pilot.
High Moon from Bryan Fuller, something about alien life and a moonbase
No Place from Zemeckis, which seems to be the unholy love child of Under the Dome and It's A Good Life
Orion -- blah blah relic hunter intergalactic war blah
Sojourn -- Detectives! In! Spaaaaaaace!
Clandestine -- some bandits find a derelict spaceship and use it for whatever. Gale Ann Hurd involved somehow.
Infinity -- Lost in Space with the serial number filed off
Shelter -- Aaah! Meteor!
...but apart from the few actually in production, who knows which will make it to the screen and which will go the way of the Blakes 7 remake (which appears to have migrated to Xbox Live because why not already?).
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:45 AM on August 31, 2013 [2 favorites]
It's mostly in development hell rather than anything firm, but a press release from April says that Syfy is working on
A Ringworld miniseries
A Childhood's End miniseries
A Man in the High Castle miniseries or movie
A Jamie Foxx horror anthology series
Helix from Ronald Moore, something about killer viruses or whatever. Actually being made.
Dominion from someone affiliated with Sons of Anarchy, which is a series adaptation of the execrable _Legion_. Has a pilot.
High Moon from Bryan Fuller, something about alien life and a moonbase
No Place from Zemeckis, which seems to be the unholy love child of Under the Dome and It's A Good Life
Orion -- blah blah relic hunter intergalactic war blah
Sojourn -- Detectives! In! Spaaaaaaace!
Clandestine -- some bandits find a derelict spaceship and use it for whatever. Gale Ann Hurd involved somehow.
Infinity -- Lost in Space with the serial number filed off
Shelter -- Aaah! Meteor!
...but apart from the few actually in production, who knows which will make it to the screen and which will go the way of the Blakes 7 remake (which appears to have migrated to Xbox Live because why not already?).
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:45 AM on August 31, 2013 [2 favorites]
I am happy to share that Blake's 7 is not going to be on Xbox live.
Thank Dredd for that.
A Ringworld miniseries
I am reminded of the last series they did: Riverworld. Twice. And they found new ways to suck at both.
posted by Mezentian at 8:50 AM on August 31, 2013 [2 favorites]
Thank Dredd for that.
A Ringworld miniseries
I am reminded of the last series they did: Riverworld. Twice. And they found new ways to suck at both.
posted by Mezentian at 8:50 AM on August 31, 2013 [2 favorites]
A Ringworld mini-series? on Sci-Fi? Good luck at the Teela level! (Which would be required for it to be good.)
What competition did MTV face? Well, back at the start, we had no cable and TOTP. Also, America's Top Ten, with Casey Casem.
posted by marienbad at 8:55 AM on August 31, 2013
What competition did MTV face? Well, back at the start, we had no cable and TOTP. Also, America's Top Ten, with Casey Casem.
posted by marienbad at 8:55 AM on August 31, 2013
What "runious competition" did MTV face?
Night Flight on USA, for other olds who remember that?
There was also MuchMusic (now Fuse). Long live Ed The Sock.
posted by birdherder at 9:03 AM on August 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
Night Flight on USA, for other olds who remember that?
There was also MuchMusic (now Fuse). Long live Ed The Sock.
posted by birdherder at 9:03 AM on August 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
When is Slate going to bite the bullet and rebrand itself as "Well, actually...."?
posted by graphnerd at 9:07 AM on August 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by graphnerd at 9:07 AM on August 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
A fairly lazy article
Not as lazy as all the people around the proverbial water cooler this past Monday morning decrying Miley Cyrus's performance as the harbinger of the cultural apocalypse.
Deep insight isn't always needed.
posted by dry white toast at 9:12 AM on August 31, 2013
Not as lazy as all the people around the proverbial water cooler this past Monday morning decrying Miley Cyrus's performance as the harbinger of the cultural apocalypse.
Deep insight isn't always needed.
posted by dry white toast at 9:12 AM on August 31, 2013
I remember Night Flight!
Electric Avenue and Total Eclipse of the Heart. And then Suddenly, Last Summer...
posted by Windopaene at 9:18 AM on August 31, 2013
Electric Avenue and Total Eclipse of the Heart. And then Suddenly, Last Summer...
posted by Windopaene at 9:18 AM on August 31, 2013
I used to know a guy who would always try to impress us by telling a story about how he -gasp! - bought drugs and then -gasp! - consumed them, as if there was something dangerous or or subversive about a college aged person buying something that was for sale and then using it. I get it; drugs have a certain stigma and there are people who would be shocked at such behavior, but we weren't the pearl-clutching type, plus the whole story was "I exchanged money for goods, and then sat around for awhile, and I enjoyed it!" which is not exactly a Dickensian epic.
I've been thinking about that guy a lot this week because MTV is basically that guy: 29 years ago (!) Madonna mimed masturbating at the VMAs. Ten years ago MTV produced the superbowl halftime show which gave us Janet Jackson's nipple. On the less debated but still questionable side of things they aired a show about Tom Green's testicles, they have a show devoted exclusively to pregnant teenagers, and they saw a short where Beavis and Butthead played baseball with frogs and said "yes, let's give more of this to the world." They clearly realized a long time ago that doing something provocative was a way of getting buzz, and getting buzz meant more viewers, and more viewers meant more ad dollars, so they've been all about getting the public's goat for a long time. But not in any way that really seems productive, or intelligent, in the way that South Park can be; more in the sense of "if we throw out the image of a barely legal girl shoving her face in her dancers' asses, it will get people riled up." Well, of course. It's been getting people riled up in the culture at large since Elvis, and for MTV specifically that specific stimulus-response pattern has been happening since Bow Wow Wow did I want candy and Britney Spears did Baby One More Time.
Admittedly, there was something low-class and disgraceful about the way that guy's whole be-all and end-all was getting blitzed on whatever he could as much as he could, but I refused to give him any vindication in his quest to be seen as a rebel. I wasn't going to legitimize his bullshit by giving him the shock he was looking for. And yes, there was some thing low class and disgraceful about the whole VMA thing, but every discussion about it is just feeding the troll.
And here's the garbage part about this article: this isn't even a good way to feed the troll. Some of the discussions that performance sparked are good discussions; there's been a lot of talk about why Robin Thicke got away unscathed but Miley was slut-shamed, and there were many discussions about the racial issues at play in her performance, and other topics which would at least provide some sort of potential for adult people to have the sort of adult conversation that have some worth to it. But this? This is just saying "MTV followed it's corporate mandate to make money, and it's doing a good job of it." Well, duh. Where does that topic go? To a discussion of how great Viacom is at stuffing it's pockets with cash? Why would I want to talk about that? This article is nothing more than a way of saying "hey, remember that thing that everyone was talking about? Let's keep talking about it, except minus the things that have any relevance."
posted by Kiablokirk at 9:39 AM on August 31, 2013 [12 favorites]
I've been thinking about that guy a lot this week because MTV is basically that guy: 29 years ago (!) Madonna mimed masturbating at the VMAs. Ten years ago MTV produced the superbowl halftime show which gave us Janet Jackson's nipple. On the less debated but still questionable side of things they aired a show about Tom Green's testicles, they have a show devoted exclusively to pregnant teenagers, and they saw a short where Beavis and Butthead played baseball with frogs and said "yes, let's give more of this to the world." They clearly realized a long time ago that doing something provocative was a way of getting buzz, and getting buzz meant more viewers, and more viewers meant more ad dollars, so they've been all about getting the public's goat for a long time. But not in any way that really seems productive, or intelligent, in the way that South Park can be; more in the sense of "if we throw out the image of a barely legal girl shoving her face in her dancers' asses, it will get people riled up." Well, of course. It's been getting people riled up in the culture at large since Elvis, and for MTV specifically that specific stimulus-response pattern has been happening since Bow Wow Wow did I want candy and Britney Spears did Baby One More Time.
Admittedly, there was something low-class and disgraceful about the way that guy's whole be-all and end-all was getting blitzed on whatever he could as much as he could, but I refused to give him any vindication in his quest to be seen as a rebel. I wasn't going to legitimize his bullshit by giving him the shock he was looking for. And yes, there was some thing low class and disgraceful about the whole VMA thing, but every discussion about it is just feeding the troll.
And here's the garbage part about this article: this isn't even a good way to feed the troll. Some of the discussions that performance sparked are good discussions; there's been a lot of talk about why Robin Thicke got away unscathed but Miley was slut-shamed, and there were many discussions about the racial issues at play in her performance, and other topics which would at least provide some sort of potential for adult people to have the sort of adult conversation that have some worth to it. But this? This is just saying "MTV followed it's corporate mandate to make money, and it's doing a good job of it." Well, duh. Where does that topic go? To a discussion of how great Viacom is at stuffing it's pockets with cash? Why would I want to talk about that? This article is nothing more than a way of saying "hey, remember that thing that everyone was talking about? Let's keep talking about it, except minus the things that have any relevance."
posted by Kiablokirk at 9:39 AM on August 31, 2013 [12 favorites]
Sky tv in the UK has like 20 channels that are solid music videos so there has to be some sort of business model that works. I have a full cable package on direct tv and I have yet to find one real video channel.
posted by triggerfinger at 9:42 AM on August 31, 2013
posted by triggerfinger at 9:42 AM on August 31, 2013
But I would still like a TV channel that plays music videos, one that only shows old movies, and actual history on a history channel; none of which I can get today on cable.
I get my history, my music vids, my old movies all via Youtube these days. Which is fast becoming everything I ever wanted Cable to be. You don't get sports events live, or news for that matter. And you don't find everything you're looking for ... even as you find more than you could possibly ever want or need. Like recently, I don't even remember what I was looking for but I stumbled onto the BBC's 20 part 1972 production of War and Peace, which quickly swallowed all my available time for a week or ten days. Indeed, that's probably what I was watching when the whole twerking thing went down. My loss, I guess.
posted by philip-random at 10:40 AM on August 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
I get my history, my music vids, my old movies all via Youtube these days. Which is fast becoming everything I ever wanted Cable to be. You don't get sports events live, or news for that matter. And you don't find everything you're looking for ... even as you find more than you could possibly ever want or need. Like recently, I don't even remember what I was looking for but I stumbled onto the BBC's 20 part 1972 production of War and Peace, which quickly swallowed all my available time for a week or ten days. Indeed, that's probably what I was watching when the whole twerking thing went down. My loss, I guess.
posted by philip-random at 10:40 AM on August 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
But I would still like a TV channel that plays music videos,
Youtube.
one that only shows old movies,
Netflix.
and actual history on a history channel
Well, two out of three ain't bad?
posted by Tomorrowful at 11:39 AM on August 31, 2013
Youtube.
one that only shows old movies,
Netflix.
and actual history on a history channel
Well, two out of three ain't bad?
posted by Tomorrowful at 11:39 AM on August 31, 2013
one that only shows old movies,
Netflix.
I just got a look at (US-only, grrr) Hulu Plus the other day. They have the Criterion Collection. All of it. Fucking hell.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:45 AM on August 31, 2013
Netflix.
I just got a look at (US-only, grrr) Hulu Plus the other day. They have the Criterion Collection. All of it. Fucking hell.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:45 AM on August 31, 2013
Netflix doesn't seem to have any musicals to speak of, though. And not really a lot of good classics.
posted by emjaybee at 12:07 PM on August 31, 2013
posted by emjaybee at 12:07 PM on August 31, 2013
Netflix DVD has just about everything. Not as convenient as streaming, but once the disc physically exists there are no more licensing issues to worry about.
posted by localroger at 12:13 PM on August 31, 2013
posted by localroger at 12:13 PM on August 31, 2013
Old movies, you gotta go to TCM.
Which Comcast moved up from basic to some super-duper-premium tier, due to some kind of licensing/ownership foofaraw because they are assholes.
I remember Night Flight!
Oh my God, Night Flight was amazing. It was like all the good, weird stuff from MTV packed into one show. I would watch a network that was completely made up of good weird stuff.
DO NOT SAY ADULT SWIM. It is so full of ungood.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:47 PM on August 31, 2013
Which Comcast moved up from basic to some super-duper-premium tier,
I remember Night Flight!
Oh my God, Night Flight was amazing. It was like all the good, weird stuff from MTV packed into one show. I would watch a network that was completely made up of good weird stuff.
DO NOT SAY ADULT SWIM. It is so full of ungood.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:47 PM on August 31, 2013
Can I say Liquid Television? I remember liking that at least, back when it was on, whenever that was.
posted by hattifattener at 7:14 PM on August 31, 2013
posted by hattifattener at 7:14 PM on August 31, 2013
I just want Daria to come back.
posted by Evilspork at 11:42 PM on August 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Evilspork at 11:42 PM on August 31, 2013 [1 favorite]
1. What "runious competition" did MTV face?
Actually, it was even more generic than "another music video channel" -- it was everything else on the 96 other channels. This 1993 article has their CEO saying that 10 videos an hour (with other stuff in the crevices) means 10 chances for somebody to say "this sucks" and hit the surf button. Programs like Daria, or MTV Horny Youth in Swimsuits Somewhere House, tend to be "stickier" in modern web parlance. Thus, more advertising dollars.
posted by dhartung at 2:17 AM on September 1, 2013 [3 favorites]
Actually, it was even more generic than "another music video channel" -- it was everything else on the 96 other channels. This 1993 article has their CEO saying that 10 videos an hour (with other stuff in the crevices) means 10 chances for somebody to say "this sucks" and hit the surf button. Programs like Daria, or MTV Horny Youth in Swimsuits Somewhere House, tend to be "stickier" in modern web parlance. Thus, more advertising dollars.
posted by dhartung at 2:17 AM on September 1, 2013 [3 favorites]
~Old movies, you gotta go to TCM.
~Which Comcast moved up from basic to some super-duper-premium tier...
Are you perhaps thinking of the HD TCM channel? The regular TCM channel is still on Comcast's basic tier here in Indiana, anyway.
Of course, Indiana tends to be about 20 years behind everyone else...
posted by Thorzdad at 12:11 PM on September 2, 2013
~Which Comcast moved up from basic to some super-duper-premium tier...
Are you perhaps thinking of the HD TCM channel? The regular TCM channel is still on Comcast's basic tier here in Indiana, anyway.
Of course, Indiana tends to be about 20 years behind everyone else...
posted by Thorzdad at 12:11 PM on September 2, 2013
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